- Member Since 5th Feb, 2012
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cleverpun
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cleverpun
Joined 5th Feb, 2012 ·
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Made me think of the Metallica song.
Huh. I really hope this takes place quite a ways in the future. Also, that mention of cutie mark fading is several kinds of chilling, basically implying that the living batteries' souls are dying a slow death. On the other hand, magic's casual violation of the laws of thermodynamics means that this setup could actually work, unlike the Matrix.
Also, that tidbit in the author's note.
Darkly fascinating. I almost regret reading this, but it was still oddly enjoyable.
This is simultaneously incredibly hot and incredibly disturbing.
Me rikey...
This looks interesting.
Woah. What.
Wow... you answered the question; when a pony turns the lights on, what happens?
We never see any power lines, power plants, or other infrastructure in the show, and you just explained it all.
3120894 But isn't that song about a street?
3120921 They don't use quills and they have swooshy doors and key cards, but I left it up to the reader exactly how far in the future it is. I also like to think of magic working like blood--it regenerates over time, albeit slowly. Of course, what happens when you donate too much blood?
Glad you liked it
3120929 Then I have done my job.
3120998 I have no idea.
3121276 The writers have already said that all the electrical stuff in the show runs on magic.
Glad I could help.
3120921
nah man its like a freshness bar, the kind that tells you how much juice is left
Creepy, and well done.
Having her drinking cum was a bit much. Doesn't really add anything, and makes it feel a little bit on overdramatic. Beyond that, I liked how clinical it was, and how ambiguously horrific it was.
...and people tell me my stories are dark
3121419
Yes, and the juice is a soul. I suppose I should be thankful that they aren't running the power grids on the hearts of forsaken children. That I know of.
3121419 This comment made me think of those powercheck batteries with those finger-breaking dots and strips built in to them.
3121826 I didn't really think of Lilith as dark, but then it takes a lot for me to count clop as dark since the standards are so different.
My tablet's battery is at 37%
so i read this and you wot m8
3121319 It's about beating the living crap out of someone..
This is disturbingly-intruiging.., I demand moar chapters, giving us information about the company itself,
so I can sign myself up as an employeefor Science!3123051 Celestial Power Incorporated originally worked on solar energy and thermal energy, but monster attacks impeded the latter. The solar energy research was going well, but then Celestia had to admit that solar power drained her magic. She tried to keep it going anyway, but Luna eventually ordered the company to stop when Celestia developed health problems.
The government had to bail the company out when their R&D collapsed--it subsequently became a government-owned institution. Celestia and Luna have been "acting CEOs" for over two centuries. They were originally named Natural Power Incorporated, but they changed the name for PR reasons a few years after the princesses took over.
They tried to research other energy sources (including the Elements of Harmony and Discordian magic), but as Equestria hit the singularity their energy demands became too great for just that. Harvesting natural magic from employees was the only solution the CEOs could come up with, and all the riots about power shortages meant they did not have much time to find a better solution.
3125433 The more you say about this, the more I can see this being used for a very interesting cyberpunk setting, Clever. Or maybe even for a Philip K. Dick-eske story. And I'd fracking read it. [Insert obligatory note of self-weirdness]
3123044 Why would that make you associate song and fic?
And IIRC, Battery was dedicated to the club where they started playing and the energy on those concerts. If you want to stay with a Metallica song, you could say that ones like Fuel, One or Bleeding me may be more appropriate, but I can't honestly think of any song by them that it's actually applicable with this fic.
Of course, this is a moot kind of discussion, given that a good deal of Metallica songs are open or/and applicable to pretty much any interpretation you can think of. So it's alright anyway. :P
3128720
I never, EVER related the song. I was just saying that the title of the fic made me think of the song of the same name.
Yes, I know that. But it's still about beating the crap out of someone and/or showing aggression.
Lashing out the action
Returning a reaction
Weak are ripped and torn away
Hypnotizing power
Crushing all that cower
Battery is here to stay
Smashing through the boundaries
Lunacy has found me
Cannot stop the battery
Just sayin'.
3128748 Fair enough. I was just wondering.
3128720 Mebbe. I had a picture of a scene where a pony storms into Celestia's office and demands to know why she has been letting this continue for so long. Celestia calmly explains that she Did What She Had To Do. Then a bunch of guards tackle the intruder (and maybe stick them in magic harvesting tube? :o). Other than that I'm sort of dry on ideas. Perhaps when I finish some of my other fics.
3132219 Or even better, Celestia declares herself she's currently out of the loop at the moment and agrees to help them. They start to dig in, and when it looks they can actually do something to shut it down, something happens that won't let them (Celestia cross them anyway, all the evidences they gather point to the need of the more-ethical-than-at-first-sight CPI to keep going and they have to let it be, they are caught and even Celestia is put on a tube, or *gasp* they been on the tubes all along!) Doesn't even need to be a long story. But yeah, no need to rush, it was just a suggestion.
...freaky.....
*adds to favorites*
Two reactions:
wut?
and
Great story! It kinda reminds me of the Russian Sleep Experiment creepypasta, too. After stopping a thing, they want back ON the thing.
…kinda wanna get stuffed in one of those tubes myself
perhaps the sequel could show what it's like to be a stallion in there, after they decide they've heard enough of his ranting and force him into one 
Stories based on dreams are always the most...interesting...to read
3774455 And to write
I recall seeing a sequel to this somewhere....
3849720 Check the author's notes
Still tentative, natch
Two thoughts.
WUT. and of course WOWSOAWSUM
Well, looks like this has just become slightly more canon.
4369512 I like to think a good Dark story extrapolates from canon without contradicting it too much. It was already canon that electrical appliances run on magic, and now we know that magic is a transferable resource.
They already had an episode with tentacles, and another with magic-measurement equipment. So I guess now they just need to have an episode with a magic-suction machine?
This is interesting. This is mysterious. This is great.
5/5
4369948
Didn't they already do that in season 4 too, though? With the Equestria Games? When they stopped/disrupted/took all of the unicorn magic as they entered the stadium?
Interesting and disturbing. The sequel has potential too.
You have just the best weird dreams, apparently.
PaulAsaran wrote a review of this story. (Putting it here so I don't lose it.)
It's a shame the sequel to this is no longer available. This stuck in my head hard enough that I'd be writing my own if I had the time and energy.
11488415 The sequel being unavailable is not intentional. I have unlocked the doc and added it to the unlisted story. It's just a scrap, however, a beginning without any real development.
Glad my weird bit of mental ephemera could
infect... uh, stick in your mind.