Applejack starts the day with her normal routine, but things change whenever Rainbow dash shows up to hang out with her and spends the night.
Rainbow dash has a bad feeling about how things are going to play out as the day progresses, will things turn out alright for this little cyan pony?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Me liked
All round a decent read, there were a few errors here and there but nothing too damaging. Great story over all
Especially as it is your first, it was very commendable, over time you will get better and your writing skills shall sharpen 
Keep at it lad. 
Love those two aswell !
P.s. The loyalty reference, omg dude now I can't get that song out of my head
Good for being a first story
not bad.
Thanks guys, your comments mean a lot and i appreciate the advice. I hope you all had as much fun reading it as i did writing it.
3141897 thanks for the advice! every bit helps.
Not bad. Not bad at all! Only thing that I really noticed were some grammatical errors, and those are easy to fix if you get someone to edit it for you, so if that's the biggest problem, I'd say you're doing pretty well.
Hope you write something else!
An okay story. It kinda feels like your portraying rainbow dash poorly but that's more a matter of opinion I guess. You also seem to portray rainbow and AJ as if they were like 12. Otherwise good first story. Keep up the good work.
3178582 well i just thought i would take a new approach on the whole deal, like provide a new perspective on things. but i understand what your saying.
Don't get me wrong the perspective idea was good. Just lacking for MY taste. Also where is the cider.
3182771>>3182771 oh....uh...yeah...about the cider....i guess i forgot about that...it originally started as them drinking cider and then the story escalating from there, but i got too excited while writing and forgot about that....and also the name was too catchy for me to not use lol
Oh well that explains it. I was just curious.
This is totally a reference to loyalty.
You know that I'll stay with you, that's why they call me loyalty....