Rainbow Dash is finally accepted into the Wonderbolts, her favorite acrobatic team, over the past months she helped the wonderbolts as she could, first up by saving the 3 majors of the team and Rarity with the Sonic Rainboom; then by, literally, saving a pie that Soarin dropped when talking with Spitfire; and last, but not least, by showing her authority to Spitfire when she quited the Academy, but then re-joined it. She deserves to be in the wonderbolts, but someone in the wonderbolts deserved her, and Rainbow Dash will not believe who is it
Couple: Soarin X Rainbow; my first story EVER!
AN: At some point of the story, I might change the rating to mature, the cause you already know why
Voice Actor for Soarin is dead. Did you know that?
i172.photobucket.com/albums/w35/starbaybee/MyEyesSpongebob.gif
Seriously, don't put colored text on your description. It is gonna give the wrong impression to whoever sees it.
3063754 what?! when did that happen i mean i just look on his page and it says he still alive
YAY! a soarindash story!
SHIT ED, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
c85c7a.medialib.glogster.com/media/9b/9b601a11753521203c226972fce96c0cb64944b8121f2c3a9a743d7a6b456666/ed.jpg
YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH THAT HORSE.
3063754
Uh, Matt Hill? Nah brah, he's still up and about.
Well, you did ok on your first fanfic... It's not bad, but it does need help....
The only thing that's bothering me is Braeburn x Applejack...... Ugh.
And Fluttercord......
3063754
What?
3063754
No. no hes not. that was just a april fools prank. He said so himself
I like it so far lets see how you put the plot together because most new writters have problems with putting the plot and events in order to where it makes sense and not feel rushed
3064521 You don't like?
3064017
3063870 Glad you like it!
3063754
I guess that was just a joke! When did you read that?
3064652 Cool Avatar!
3063760 Fixed it!
A Little message for y'all that Applejack is going to transmite - V
: Sugarcube here is trying to make a series of couple stories, If any of you authors can think on a couple, send an PM or reply to this comment, the first couple is already chosen by sugarcube himself: Me X Spike!
Me: Thanks Applejacklicious!
:
3063760
O.o What happened to your avatar?!?!
3108950
I changed... why?
3109006
Uh... it has an image of the X-Men... I don't know...
List of problems. Constructive criticism, not hate.
1. They took her in to a highly trained, special ops team, with hardly a wink of training. She didn't even pass flight school for cripes sake!
2. Over usage of commas. Calm the flow of them and use more periods.
3. I highly doubt Twilight's dream was to become a princess. She's a student, not a teacher or a leader.
4. How did Fluttershy develop a love interest in Discord before she even met him. Most of the times she even laid her eyes on him, he was wearing a tux made of stone. Unless the history books forgot to mention what he did and who he was, it'd be impossible.
(And this list goes on)
5. If Rainbow Dash were to be accepted in, she'd probably round her friends up and tell them there. If she were to go to one individual, it'd be Fluttershy.
6. In the first two paragraphs alone, you used the word crush nine times. Don't try to use the same word unless there's no other name for it.
(Hate to continue, I hope you know that)
7. I counted every time you used an Exclamation mark. You used them about 97 times. Holy balls, were they screaming at each other?
Alright, now for the good part of the list!
Nothing ever existed here. I can't find good things to say about this story. Who'd imagine me not being able to say good things
3119546
List of answers:
1. And for cripes sake SHE IS THE BEST FLYER IN EQUESTRIA!!! WTF ARE YOU THINKING?!
2. Uh? Whataya mean?
3. I think I should have putted "destiny" not dream... sorry
4. Watch Season 3's 9th episode: "Keep calm and flutter on", it was from there that I got the crush
5. Before Pinkie could make the preparations, Rainbow Dash ALREADY told the rest of the Mane 6, after she talked to Pinkie, is an implicit thing
6. Ya got a point...
7. ... Really? They were just exchanging cheers!
But thanks for the criticism, and REMEMBER: I'm a BEGINNER!!!
3123609 Rainbow Dash may fly the fastest, but she wouldn't know any attack or defensive patterns. Her ego and laziness would be a nuisance rather than an asset. She can't deal with failure in a mature manner, and will handle victory as a child. Her only flying assault move she knows is a Sonic Rainboom, Her skills as a leader are poor. Her dismissive attitude will hold her back.
Even though I love her, I can't imagine her in the WounderBolts as anything more than an messenger or an courier.
3123811
Play "MLP Fighting is Magic" You think she doesn't know how to attack?
That was a febble intimidation!
Me: Rainbow Dash...
3124273 She'd maybe know simple aerial attack moves, yes. Complex aerial assault attack pattern KE, doubt it. In the WounderBolts, I'd assume you're meant to fight together, as one. Take this as an example. if they'd just accept anypony in The Wounderbolts, then no wounder they all got owned by a dragon!
3126350
You just keep getting worst by the comment...
>3126423 Well, this is an review. Trust me, this story deserves a harsher review. You should expect criticism, especially constructive when you start out. Think of your skill as marble and you the sculptor. Don't worry, you'll get better.
3128504
Thanks for that...
I love reading your story's, but to be honest i'm more or less looking forward to this story much more. the first chapter was enough to get me hooked. Keep up the good work!
3182773
YEEE-HAAH!!! Thanks for that pal!
Hey, I was directed to your profile, and I couldn't help but notice several mistakes in your description. I would suggest not having it in large, bolded, italicized text for one. Another is that there is a whole slew of English mistakes in it. Seriously there should not be only two sentences. I'm too
busylazy to correct it all.Maybe find an editor that is willing to help? OnyxElite provides amazing suggestions to improving your writing, and there are many things you can do yourself.
3196103
Thanks for the corrections...
I think...
I love it!! I think it is one of your best works but keep up the good work. Hope you write more soon.
3609061
Yeah. I'm trying, some comments I reply, at least thanks for reading it! I am very pleased!
3618873 are you busy?
3650786
Lots of stories and... YOUR AVATAR!
3650945
Sorry, It's a big deal to me when someone changes its avatar...
3650888 are you okay? stop staring into space
3650950
3650960
*roll eyes*
3650953
Staring into space? I'll show you who's staring into space! *kisses you*
3650975 You know I'm a female, right? What do you mean by *kisses you* And I am Asian, by the way. Do not be so modest!!
3650985
I kissed you
3651022 Why?
3653422
1. Lemme guess: You're taken
2. You said I was staring to space! I had to wake you up!
3654028 My relationship status is single, not taken. Why do you think that?
3654028 no pony here ever kissed me before.