What a Prick
"Murmph... Who put steel wool in my bed?" asked an extremely drowsy unicorn colt who was blissfully unaware of what it was he was sharing a sleeping space with. Unaware right up until that something stretched and Fox was treated to a rather wonderful feeling... A bunch of quill in some rather uncomfortable places.
To be fair that porcupine wasn't too happy about that either, he did kinda get telekinetically tossed for it. There's a lesson in that folks. Don't wake a sleeping unicorn of any age by poking it with pointy objects all along its underside.
Now completely awake, slightly sore, and more than a bit confused as to just why there'd been a thorn bush with legs in his bed, Fox blinked slowly and took stock of his surroundings. He even made himself a mental check list. Grey, drab walls missing? Check. No lumpy mattress or scratchy blankets? Check. Comfy moss and really big white trees? Check. Completely lost? Quadruple check. Flip out? Currently in progress.
Had Fox been female he would have often been called a silly filly, as it was his freaking out was a good example of this. Now when most people freak out, they hyperventilate a bit, run in circles, and/or scream incoherently. Not Fox. No sir, his freak outs involved a lot more sitting quietly and letting his magic run rampant in the form of a rather impressive light show that usually reflected his mood. Therefor it is no wonder that in the early predawn hours Ponyville thought somepony had decided to raise the sun a bit early... And color it blue just for kicks... Also, the hell was Celestia thinking making it a strobe light?
Fox wasn't bothered by this of course, he was far too busy directing this huge outpouring of illusion magic into something visually impressive and fitting for his fear, elation, and confusion. His blue strobe light of a sun soon became several giant question marks that danced about one another in a complex and rather confusing swirl of contrails and motion. Those all blended together, the blue darkening to something two shades off from black. That formless shape soon became a roaring dragon of light that shot flames fifty feet skyward from it's mouth before it was consumed in its on conflagration and became a rather timid looking unicorn simulacrum that slowly faded from view. Fox by this point was sweating profusely and panting. Around his head danced tiny globes of bright azure fire that daintily touched the tip of his horn every now and again, washing warmth through it and soothing the jangled nerves of the colt.
Unnoticed in all this was the fact that Fox-Fyre's flank was no longer blank. Adorning his stately silver coat as bold as you please was a small globe of dancing azure flames, much like the one's currently orbiting his head in a rather passable imitation of a solar system model... Sans a few planets of course.
It'd be foolish to think that this light show, and the amount of thamaturlogical energy radiating off it would have gone unnoticed or dismissed, and in truth it didn't... But most of Ponyville was under the school of thought that unless the sun was up and it wasn't Nightmare Night there was no good reason to go investigate anything without the presence of Celestia's sun watching over the.
The key word is of course most, because there was one mare who'd been up that early anyways to do her job. Ditzy "Derpy" Doo was still blinking the afterimages from her eyes even as she winged her way in the direction of the still slightly glowing figure in the sky. Her normally slightly erratic flight path was further buggered up by her partial blindness and as such she just had no clue what went wrong... That poor tree (and the squirrels living in it) did though. A grey pegasus with a straw colored mane went right through em. Poor Scratt lost all his acorns.... again.
On the bright side though, her unintended and slightly sap-filled landing had put her right in front of a startled unicorn who apparently had a rather magnetic personality... Or his own gravitational field. Derpy didn't really care about that, she was just happy to not be hurt and to have come across somepony new. Especially one who looked as interesting as this little guy.
Silver, black, and neon blue. A rather striking and completely uncommon coloration. A spiky black collar and a mischievous, if startled, glint in his eyes. Yep, he looked like he'd be fun to get to know. Fox just thought that the mare who'd landed in front of him looked rather... well... Sappy.
Derpy was indeed covered in sap and loose plant matter, not that she cared much, and her slightly askew eyes instantly made Fox forget his confusion at waking up in someplace strange and completely unfamiliar to him. That and the rather charming smile this mare offered did much to comfort the lost colt.
"Hello there... Seen my mail bag?" asked Derpy, cocking her head and offering a hoof in friendship in a very literal sense of the words.
Fox blinked, clonked his hoof against her own, and frowned slightly. "Uhh... My name's Fox-Fyre... But all the other foals just called me demonpony... I guess that's my name then? Oh, and is that it in the tree up there?" he finally replied, all the while trying to pull his hoof away from Derpy's own... Yeah, tree sap had other ideas. Namely 'Muwahaha I am now GLUE!'
It should be noted that neither of them noticed a disgruntled critter of a rather prickly and point persuasion came trundling back to chew out a young unicorn about tossing other folks around. Well, chew out is a generous term for "Fill his flank full of quills."...
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Interesting, interesting. I think that's the first time I've seen a "Derpy meets the OC first". Don't hold me to it, but I think you've got an original idea.
Keep it up!
3192744
'Fraid not, go read a simply amazing story called Visionary. It made me shed tears of liquid awe at the awesomeness.
3192757 Checking it out now!
3192757 Hey, I read that one already! I have it on my faves list. I just didn't remember derpy meeting the OC first.
3192846
First pony to actively sit and talk to the MC was Derpy. She's the reason Ponyville started opening up a bit. No I won't be doing the same thing here, that'd be a blatant rip off, but that did kind of inspire what will happen in it's own way.
I spy an Ice Age crossover. Featuring the only part that stayed consistently funny over umpteen installments too.
Other than that, I haven't read a fic with a narrator voice this blatant before. Keep it up. Looks like the real story is about to start.
3204434
Oh, the Scratt thing was there purely for the reference... But I may include squirrels later simply because they amuse me. Glad you enjoy the rather odd style behind this and I hope I can continue to amuse you, and everypony else, with it.