There comes a moment when every being feels like they've reached the apex of their personal and professional lives, where they cannot go any higher, or do anything better, no matter how hard they try. Most individuals accept this stage and continue doing what they love out of joy, and not for fame or money. Others refuse to believe it's true, and spend the rest of their lives trying to relieve past glories.
Then there are those who are the embodiments of chaos and insanity, and when they reach that point, everyone is screwed.
For Discord, that moment arrived at exactly two-fifteen in the afternoon as he enjoyed a session of afternoon tea with Fluttershy on the beach. It was also the moment that Equestria was officially doomed (but nobody knew it yet), for Discord was sipping from his cup when he was hit with an awful epiphany.
Fluttershy was sharing her tea with nearby crabs and lobsters, but noticed the blank stare on Discord's face. “Discord? Are you feeling okay?”
Discord didn't answer; his teacup was halfway to his mouth, and he had the million-mile stare of someone unaware of their surroundings.
“Discord?”
Blinking, Discord rubbed his eyes. “I'm sorry Fluttershy, what?”
Putting her teacup down, Fluttershy got close to the Draconequus. “Are you feeling alright? Is something wrong?”
“I...yes, Fluttershy. I'm afraid something is terribly wrong.”
“What is it? Can I help?”
“I don't know if you can.” Sipping the last of the tea, Discord turned his cup into a towel and wiped the sweat from his forehead.
“I can try. And if I can't, maybe some of my little friends can!”
“Well...Fluttershy, do you ever have the feeling that you can't get any better then you are now?”
“Uhhh...no.”
A sigh. “I should have known. I'm sorry Fluttershy, but I'm afraid you can't help me. This is something I have to mourn in private. Goodbye.”
Discord got up, started to fly away. But Fluttershy wasn't going to let the matter go so easily.
“Wait!” She flew after him. “Discord, you should know you don't have to solve your problems alone. That's what friends are for; I'm your friend, and I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong.”
Discord wasn't sure he wanted to. But looking into Fluttershy's deep, soul-crushingly beautiful eyes, he couldn't resist.
“Well, okay. I'll try. You see Fluttershy...I just feel like I've reached an impasse. A block that's stymied my creativity.”
“Stymied?”
“Yes, it's a big word. You should look it up sometime. Basically, I think I've used up everything I've got. All my ideas have gone dry. I can't think of anything new to cause good-natured fun and chaos!”
Fluttershy flew in close, patted Discord's long mouth. “There there, it's all right. You've been really busy creating all sorts of things these past few weeks. Maybe you just need to rest and get some new ideas. There's no harm in trying, is there?”
“Well, maybe...but—”
Fluttershy clapped her hooves together. “I know! I'll get some of my shark friends to help! Maybe they have an idea!” Flying low to the waters below, she began to sing a lovely tune.
“Wait, she has shark friends?” Discord said to himself. “Since when did that happen?”
Fins jutted from the water and headed towards Fluttershy. Then dozens more appeared, until Fluttershy was surrounded by a slow-moving circle of black fins, many of which were bigger then she was. But none of them came close to her, and though an occasional snout popped out of the water, the jaws of the fearsome sharks remained closed as Fluttershy continued to sing.
With Discord watching, Fluttershy hovered beside one of the biggest sharks, talked with it for a few minutes. When she was done, she flew back to Discord with an enormous smile.
“Oh Discord, it's so wonderful! My shark friends want to make you feel all better, so they're going to sing a concert for you!”
Thunder rumbled overhead.
“Well, that is, if this storm doesn't get any worse.”
Discord didn't seem to hear her. He had the million-mile stare once more, but this time there was something else to go with it.
A smile.
“Discord?”
“Yes, I heard you my dear. Go ahead and tell your little shark friends that I await their concert with great anticipation!”
Fluttershy flew back down to the sharks to deliver the message, overjoyed that her plan was going so smoothly.
She didn't notice that Discord's grin had grown ever bigger...and that there was now a sinister quality to it.
***
Within ten minutes, the number of sharks below had swarmed to over a hundred, containing representatives from every shark in the animal kingdom: the awe-inspiring Great White, the gentle Whale shark, the fearsome Tiger shark, and the hideous Goblin shark, among many others. They moved in organized and disciplined ranks, having performed concerts since time immemorial. And from then, to the present day, they were always pleased to perform, especially if it would cheer someone up.
Discord, having conjured up a lavish sofa of the finest silks, sat above the water as the concert began. He watched as the sharks leapt about in crude imitations of dolphins, their most hated enemy since Equestria had been formed from the volcanic earth. The two species had battled to the death to the present day, but it was not the time for battle. It was time for singing, and the sharks did so. Unfortunately for non-aquatic animals, it sounded like incomprehensible roars with absolutely no musical tone, save for the one shark in the back with a musical triangle.
Fluttershy hovered beside Discord, trying to keep her smile up as the roars assailed her ears. Every now and then she would glance to Discord, hoping he was having a good time. He appeared to be; he was still smiling, and unlike her, was unaffected by the roars.
“Oh, they're so lovely!” Fluttershy said, grimacing as the roars grew louder. “Don't you think?”
“Oh, of course Fluttershy! They're oh-so delightful!” He grinned. “But it's such a shame they can only perform out in the open. Don't you think they need a bigger audience?”
“Oh yes! But it's so troublesome organizing a concert on the ocean. It's too bad really. They have such a...uh...lovely voice!”
Discord laughed. But it wasn't like his normal laugh; it more resembled the time he had laughed at Fluttershy and her friends after first escaping his stone imprisonment. “Indeed, my dear little Fluttershy. It is a voice that should not go unheard! They need an audience, one they can't find here. And what better place to find one then on the mainland?”
“But Discord, sharks can't leave the water.”
“Oh yes, very true. But why not have the water come with them?!”
The sofa vanished, replaced with the chair of a movie director. Discord materialized matching clothing, and a megaphone. “Sharks, positions!” he shouted.
“Discord, what are you doing?”
“Deadly storm, I need you to flow down and take our friends in your watery embrace! Ready? And...action!”
From deep within the storm above, the clouds rumbled like an out-of-control freight train. A giant hole appeared, and a funnel plunged down into the water. It was a tornado, and a big one. Fluttershy had seen aquatic tornadoes before, but they were rare, and when they appeared, all the friendly ocean critters would quickly get out of its way. Her shark friends were doing the same thing below, panicked at seeing it so close.
But the tornado wasn't on a random course, for it was being guided.
It was heading straight for the sharks.
“Discord, stop!” Fluttershy cried.
Discord grinned. “Tornado!” he shouted through the megaphone. “Faster!”
The tornado did exactly that, speeding up until it caught the sharks. And once that happened, there was only one possible outcome.
Fluttershy screamed as her beloved shark friends were sucked up into the tornado. Hundreds of them flew up, roaring all the while (save for the musical triangle shark, who, defiant to the bitter end, continued to play his tune). In a matter of moments, the tornado had sucked up all the sharks, who spun around and around within its watery walls.
“No!” Fluttershy shouted. “Discord, what have you done?!”
“Done? Oh Fluttershy, don't you see?! You gave me my greatest idea ever! And now I've done it!” Discord laughed, a chilling sound that shook Fluttershy to her bones. “This is the moment that defines me forever! I've created my masterpiece, my pièce de résistance!” He leapt from his chair, spread his arms wide. “I have created the greatest thing ever to be seen within all of Equestria! I have created...A SHARKNADO!”
Discord's laugh echoed through the storm, eclipsing even the furious roars of the sharks. Lighting crashed around him, his laughter growing every louder until there was nothing but the maniacal laughter of a genius driven mad by his own creation.
“A what?”
The laughter stopped. “Sorry?”
“You've created a what?”
“A sharknado, Fluttershy.”
“Huh?”
“It's...well, you know. A tornado, plus sharks. A sharknado. It's only the most dangerous thing ever created.”
“Well Discord, my shark friends don't like being a...sharknado...so could you please stop it? We'd all be grateful if you returned them all to the sea.”
Discord's maniacal laughter started up again, and more lightning crashed down around him. “Oh, I'm sorry Fluttershy my dear, but your precious little shark friends have a date with destiny!” He raised his hands, sent a magical glow around the tornado. “No they're going to go on a tour around Equestria, and let all ponies hear their magical song...of destruction and chaos!”
Another laugh, and Discord took off. “Thank you for your help, Fluttershy! I haven't felt so alive in years! Centuries even! Now if you'll excuse me, I feel like sharing my little victory with an old friend of mine. I daresay he'll be hopping around somewhere in the Sol system! Until later my dear friend...tootaloo!”
A flash of light, and Discord vanished, blinking out of existence as he left one dimension for another, leaving Fluttershy to deal with the rampaging sharknado.
There was no time to go after Discord, or to even comprehend the horror that he had unleashed. All Fluttershy could do was try to stop the horror of the sharknado before it got out of hand. Flying in close, she called out, “Listen everyone, I know you're scared, but I can help! If you just stay here, I can go get my friends, and we—”
But the sharks weren't listening to Fluttershy. Their roars, which had previously sung of love and peace, rainbows and sunshine, now sung of anger and hatred, demanding justice and revenge for their torment.
Helpless to stop it, Fluttershy was forced to dart out of the way as the sharknado took off, smashing onto the shore and heading inland, as if it had a mind of its own. And even as she called after it, Fluttershy realized that nothing she could say or do would stop her beloved shark friends. Once peaceful and innocent, they were now the harbingers of horror to a world unprepared for their terrible menace.
As the sharknado disappeared into the distance, Fluttershy hovered where she was, too horrified to follow, only dimly aware of the horrible chaos a tornado made of sharks could cause.
“Oh my...” she whimpered.
This earns an upvote simply for being related to the single most awesome movie ever.
*takes off sunglasses* "mother of... Why have I never heard of this movie?"
This fic is hilarious I pretty much chuckled the whole way through what you have up so far.
Hmm suggestions. Kungfu sharks? Masters of sharkfu? Ancient gaurdians of sharky facial hair and totally sweet moves.
Whoever you are, I love you forever because of this.
I fully support this.
At least something good was born from this moronic movie.
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They should try to create a counter-tornado.
And then fill it with peaceful lovely things to counter the sharks.
Maybe a fluffnado. Or a cutenado, or a harmonado.
Or just fill it with stones to kill the sharks.
Send the Rocknado to fight the Sharknado!
The letters "nado" have lost all meaning now.
2933179thestrangerdiaries.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/gandalf.jpg
You get a thumbs up just for referencing that movie. Surprisingly this makes more sense in MLP than anywhere else.
Now if there was just some way for it to happen on a plane...
Why. Just why. This is a terrible idea and you should feel bad for posting this.
Seriously, what is it with people and this one Asylum movie?
Well I suppose he could have picked a worse SyFy C-Movie... like the one with chupacabras and blowing up the Alamo.
Eh, cheesy movie. Not even gonna read or rate.
To quote the movie, "We;re gonna throw bombs, into the tornado!"
whaaaaaaaaaaat!
Have my babies.
(...what...?)
(...in...?)
(...tarnation...?)
This idea is either brilliantly insane, or an indication that the author should be sedated and sent away for a nice, quiet rest somewhere. I'm not sure which, yet.
Not having seen the movie (thank God), I wouldn't even know where to begin suggesting combat tactics against... a tornado filled with killer sharks. Good gravy. Although you just know Pinkie's going to have to fire her Party Cannon into it at some point.
Goddamnit the title and description already has me chuckling. If this doesn't turn out to be the best goddamn thing it can be, I will annihilate you and then assimilate the non-existent remains for my own personal use .
Edit: After reading the description of the shark's song, all I could hear in my mind was this:
Oh my Celestia, I literally just watched this on ScyFy
I saw this movie a few days ago, and I couldn't comprehend the meaning of the phallus I have after I watched it.
When I saw this, I only thought:
WTF?!
And I just finished reading what's down so far. Actually, it's pretty good.
Will definetely remember to check this out once it's complete.
Well folks, it certainly doesn't get more random than this! I'm guessing we can expect a sequel since Sharknado 2 is confirmed?
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...eh, at least someone likes it. That's gotta count for something, right?
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You're a genius! Begin creation of all things 'nado'!
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I couldn't understand it much, either (along with most of the cheesy sci-fi movies) but it gives me a good laugh now and then. Kinda like something you see on MST3K.
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Yeesh, so many downvotes on my comment. I was speaking in terms of suck, people. Of course the movie was horrible, but... Tara Reid fights against a tornado that throws sharks?! How the fuck is that not awesome?!
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Yea. Like I said, the Sci-Fi movies are cheesy, but they have their moments. It's something i'd see on a modern day MST3K; I think i'm the only one who knows who that is...
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Dude!! How could I not know about the single funniest TV show in history! Giant Spider Invasion changed my life!!
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Yea, that show was proof that you don't need swearing, violence, or immaturity to make a comedy. Just three guys and a bad movie.
Remember Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?
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Dude... Manos...
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My favorite was always the Pod People.
So, last night (about 20 hour ago) I was tossing and turning in bed at 4am and an idea came to me. I had to wake up and go write it down so I wouldn't forget in the morning. "Derpy accidentally a Sharknado!" I thought "surely someone already did a pony/sharknado bit" and searched, but didn't see any actual stories here (if it was already posted by then, my late-night search-fu may be weak.) Then tonight I sat down to start thinking about writing it, when I searched again just to be sure and found this... when I saw the posting date for this story... I swear, when you hit "submit" it must've sent a subliminal message straight into my sleep-addled brain! Extra brain rattling when I realized you were the author. I've been following "Monster" forever, and you were that author on my list who "only has that one (really awesome) story."
The thing is, I haven't even SEEN Sharknado, but my brain was just like "You must write this!!!" On the upside though, "it's been done" now, so perhaps my brain can give up and let me go work on one of the stories I actually care about instead. So thank you for that!
And oh yeah... good job so far on the actual story and idea. I rather like the idea of Discord breaking his creative block with such an amalgamation. It probably works better for a story than it being another Derpy derp-up (as I actually don't like making her look bad.) I am REALLY curious to see how you approach the next few chapters.
Axenado/Chainsawnado
2938372 My favorite was always The Giant Gila Monster.
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Wow, that's an old one! That's the first one I watched when I was like 7 or 8! I forgot about it till now! Thanks man!
There are plenty of terrible shark movie rip offs like this Sharknado movie: OctoShark, Mega Shark, Jaws the Revenge. . . So why do we give special attention to Sharknado? Because it sounds awesome! Sure its stupid, but we love to laugh and point out how absurd it is and how we like it for its over the top acting and action!
Let's hear it for Thunder Levin for coming up with the script!
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Yay! Glad to hear that! And I must say, sharkfu sounds interesting...
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Thank you!
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Thanks! And I agree, it does seem to be more of a magical-based phenomena, rather then something nature cooked up.
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Hehe, I love that second-to-last line!
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I'm flattered, but because I'm a guy, I'm afraid that might lead to some insurmountable difficulties.
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Oh, I'm not insane. Rest assured, this whole story is done with tongue planted firmly in cheek. As for the actual movie though, you can skip it. Despite the title, there's actually less then two or three minutes of actual sharknados in it; most of the sharks are thrown into streets, homes, etc. and do not actually tear into things while spinning around really fast. A party cannon might help, but it depends on how fast Pinkie can reload it.