Nopony Escapes Stalag 13

by DJSaltine

The Heist

Three black figures sneaked quietly through the darkened forest, their upright bodies contradicting the shorter, colorful equines that skipped behind. Two carried a long wooden plank, colored red and yellow, following close behind the leader. They sank lower into a group of bushes alongside a dirt path, keeping hidden by the road-side camouflage. The first stuck his head through the leaves and glared down the dark purple road. Not seeing anything, he motioned his head, nodding them out. The two other men carried the blockage into the center of the road, stopping all traffic- if there was any.

Still in the bushes, Hogan quietly muttered to the antsy ponies behind. “Stay back far enough so their lights won’t spot you.” He stared as a set of headlights made its way over the crest of the hill and quickly rolled closer. “Don’t get too hug-ey when she gets out- last thing we need is Burkhalter sniffing all of you out.” The car lit up the two men on the road, revealing Carter and Newkirk to be sporting Nazi uniforms.

Hogan stood up straight, position his hat carefully so as to look presentable. The vehicle slowed to a halt, stopping feet from the prisoners-dressed-Nazis’ shoes. The driver began to open the door and stood out of the vehicle when a gun was aimed at his chest. He stopped, staring dumbfounded at Carter. The other man in the front was asleep once again, snoring loudly inside while the other was quickly herded away. As he raised his hands, a voice echoed from behind, the window rolling down. “What is going on?” Burkhalter spat, he head leaning out the opening. “Don’t tell me you hit something else!”

The sudden clicking from behind caught his attention, silencing him dead in his tracks. He didn’t move, fear paralyzing his actions. Hogan’s face was covered, a black cloth, wrapped tightly around his mouth, nose and forehead. In a terribly unconvincing German accent, Hogan made his demands. “I want you to open the door and step out.” He held the hand-gun close to the general’s head as he slowly unhinged the car door.

Burkhalter slowly moved as he was told. Hogan quickly pulled the door further. Inside, Applejack was sitting on the seat, serene on the outside, but panicking internally. Hogan motioned her out, nodding his head. She slipped out cautiously, her head down like a scared puppy. She hid underneath her Stetson, careful not to show her joyous smile to Burkhalter.

Hogan looked up from the small horse and back to Burkhalter. Through his fake accent, he gave a final speech. “We are taking this creature.” He tilted his head over to his cohorts. Both of them backed away from the hostage drivers, their guns still aimed and ready to fire. Carter glanced down at Applejack and nodded her off towards the trees. “And will be conducting our own experiments on it.” Hogan paused,

Applejack stared up to Carter before slowly inching off as he said. Carter followed. Both Hogan and Newkirk began backing away as well, guns still aimed. Burkhalter glared daggers at the thieves, but they disappeared silently into the foliage. The sleeping driver suddenly twitched awake. Through his sleep-crusted eyes, he looked over to his cohort. “What’s wrong? Did we hit something else?”

* * * * * *

Deeper in the forest, the six small ponies were happily laughing and hugging each other, thankful they’d been reunited with one another. Carter and Newkirk began scurrying back to the camp, staying low in the undergrowth, while Hogan snuck near the joyous girls. “Do you think you can get back?” he asked in a hushed tone.

Twilight backed away from the crowd and gazed up at Hogan. “Theoretically, yes. I know the spell… I just hope it’ll send us back to Equestria…” she trailed off, sadly looking away.

Rustling leaves gathered Hogan’s attention as he glanced behind, his imminent capture on his mind. With a slight smirk, he replied. “Sounds good enough.” He began creeping away quietly through the bushes. Sighing, he turned his head to the girls. “Good luck. If you ever pop back in, do it when we’re not in the middle of the war.” With that said, he slipped away into the bushes, leaving the six friends to attempt to return home.

* * * * * *

Inside Stalag 13, Kommandant Klink quickly paced up to Schultz. Schultz was snoring on his feet once again, standing hardly-at-attention by the entrance of the Kommandant's office. Klink stood beside the slumbering guard silently. He gazed over at Schultz's form, an eyebrow raised. "Beautiful night tonight, eh Schultz?"

Schultz snorted awake, gazing about the world before finally focusing on Klink. "Oh, Kommandant." He glanced around quickly. "I wasn't sleeping, I was just resting my eyes."

"I know you weren't sleeping," Klink lied, "I was just coming over to see if I could spot the lights you saw last night."

Schultz's eyes darted around. "Of course." Both Klink and Schultz stared into the dark twilight, gazing as the night overcame the land. They both stood silently watching the stars when the same silent explosion pierced the darkness.

"Ahh, Schultz," Klink began dreamily. "It's just as beautiful as you said!" Schultz stared at Klink uncomfortably. After a few seconds, he slowly turned his eyes back to the sky.

* * * * * *

Carter, Newkirk, and Hogan ran frightened back to the truck they left hidden thick in the forest. A sound of sparkles erupted behind them until they noticed the wondrous glow that beamed into the sky behind them, the twilight brightened for the second time that week. The colorful lightning exploded throughout the slightly cloudy night. They all stopped their tracks, glancing back to view the spectacle before it disappeared seconds later.

Carter sighed as the sky blackened again. Newkirk looked away to his comrade. “What’s up Carter? Missing them already?” Hogan smirked as he too looked at Carter.

Carter gazed back to Newkirk and Hogan. With a brave smile, he answered, “Kind of. It’s just that…” Carter looked back to through the trees where the ponies used to be. “They were going to tell me what happened after Twilight was imprisoned in the caves under Canterlot.”

Hogan smiled as he slid his arm over Carter’s shoulder and lead him back to the vehicle.

Author's Note:

Just wanted to point out- I had originally planned to finish this chapter before August started and finish the epilogue soon there after. However, while looking around on Craigslist, I found myself saying: "Hmm, this apartment is within my price-range and looks pretty nice. Let's look into it," and low-and-behold, I had the entire month of August spent on moving in and getting used to living alone.
That, and depression/work.

Oh well, I have the epilogue in the works and plan for it to be finished BEFORE the end of September- that is, if I don't mess something up.

Okay, and about the vehicle Hogan requested previously, it was only used to get ahead of Burkhalter without him knowing. They left in hidden in the forest and ran back to it.

Comments

[Vailen]

love it. I really enjoy Hogan's Heros so this was a nice treat.

[DJSaltine]

4981827
I've always enjoyed it as well, so I felt like I might as well do something that no one else seems to have done yet.

Hopefully I've inspired others to try their hands at Hogan's Heroes.

[Vailen]

4981947 I've read a MLP M.A.S.H. crossover and that was good to.

[DJSaltine]

4982072
Cool! What's it called?

[Vailen]

4982119 http://www.fimfiction.net/story/46115/healing-for-a-spell