Relief
Fluttershy gently closed the door to her hotel room and deposited her purse back in her suitcase, right where it had been when she left. She glanced up at Rarity, who was still lightly snoring, her sleep mask still placed firmly over her eyes. Fluttershy gave a small smile and slid into her bed, her body suddenly tired from the excitement of that night.
She had freed him. He was safe and happy now, without any heart problems or sicknesses. He could be young and happy in paradise. He would probably still be able to see his moon. She snuggled into her pillow, and her smile widened when she thought about how much of a gift it was she had given to him. She would have to tell Rarity all about it in the morning.
Fluttershy opened one eye, and a slight frown creased her face. Rarity hadn't taken it very well when she ha first learned how Fluttershy freed her sick animals, but she did come to accept it as part of her job. If Fluttershy told her that she had moved up to ponies...
She shook her head. Rarity didn't need to know. After all, it wasn't as if they knew the stallion. It would put a damper on their trip. Besides, she might be like Twilight. She wouldn't understand why what she had done was a good thing. Most ponies wouldn't, she realized as she watched Rarity's sleeping form. They'd see her as a... murderer. Fluttershy whimpered quietly and pulled the covers over her head, her breathing intensifying. No, she wasn't that. There was no way that she could be that. She had done a good thing, and murder was an evil thing. Ergo, what she had done was not murder.
Fluttershy's breathing relaxed, and she poked her head out from under the covers. Yes, that was right: she had done a good thing, so it couldn't be murder. Murderers were ponies who killed for fun, or to get money, or something like that. She killed that stallion to make sure he wasn't suffering anymore. Certainly not for fun. It was almost like another kind of doctor for him, she reasoned. Her small, contented smile returned, and she nuzzled into her pillow. Shutting her eyes, she fell asleep after a few minutes.
* * * *
Fluttershy awoke the next morning to the sound of Rarity moving about their hotel room. She opened one eye and saw her friend combing her mane and brushing her teeth. She straightened up and opened her other eye, stretching out her wings to ease the stiffness out of them.
"Good morning, Rarity," she chirped. "Did you sleep well?"
Rarity spit out her toothpaste and gargled some water to get out the rest of it before dabbing her mouth with a towel and nodded. "Slept like a rock, to borrow a phrase." She put her manebrush down and levitated her makeup kit over. "How about you? Are you feeling better?"
Fluttershy smiled and slid out of bed. "Much. Thank you for inviting me to come to Canterlot, Rarity. It's done a lot to help me with Angel Bunny." Fluttershy's smile faded, and her head lowered. "I still miss him," she muttered, "but he wouldn't want me to think too much about it, you know? I... I have to keep going. There are others out there who need my help."
Fluttershy looked up when she felt Rarity put a hoof on her shoulder, and her small smile returned when she saw the kind look on her friend's face. "I think that's a wonderful thing, darling. I understand that it hurts to lose someone you care about, but you had some good times with Angel Bunny. You have those memories to honor him by, and even though his passing was difficult, he is in a better place right now, and I think he's happily watching over you."
Fluttershy wrapped a foreleg around Rarity's shoulder and pulled her in for a tight hug.
"Exactly." She leaned her head against Rarity's shoulder, smiling when her friend returned the hug. "And I think I know how to help others better now."
* * * *
Rarity and Fluttershy returned to Ponyville a few hours later, spending the three hour train ride chatting with each other about Rarity's successes in Canterlot. Fluttershy spent much of the trip subtly scanning the other ponies in the compartment, looking to see if anypony seemed deathly ill. Everypony there was going to Ponyville, so if so, she could find them and help them easily enough. Thankfully, everypony else seemed to be in perfect health. Fluttershy smiled at this. As good as it was to help ponies, it felt even better when she didn't have to do it at all.
The train reached Ponyville that afternoon. Rarity and Fluttershy went their separate ways once they reached the station, with more promises of visits between the two of them planned. Fluttershy adjusted her suitcase strap on her back and trotted in the direction of her home.
She smiled and sighed happily as the warm spring air washed over her. Somehow everything seemed brighter than it had been since Angel Bunny's death. Her friends were right: she did have to move on. How she had helped that stallion made her realize that.
"Hey, Fluttershy!" came a familiar voice to her left. Fluttershy turned and smiled wider when she saw Twilight across the street from her. She spread her wings and flew over to her before the two exchanged a quick hug. "How are you? How was your trip with Rarity?"
"Oh it was very nice, Twilight," she said happily. "You girls were right that I needed to get out of my house. I stayed in there for too long." Fluttershy flattened her ears. "I'm sorry about that."
Twilight shook her head and put a hoof on her shoulder. "No, don't be, Fluttershy. What happened hit you hard. You loved him, and it was a terrible thing, but it's great that you've gotten better. What was it about going on the Canterlot trip that helped you so much?"
Fluttershy's ear subtly flicked at the question. No, if Rarity wouldn't understand, then Twilight certainly wouldn't. She didn't even know about how she helped her animals until recently. She would think she was doing an evil thing. Twilight wouldn't understand. Fluttershy put on her best smile and gave a slight giggle.
"Oh, I guess it was just having somepony to talk to. Rarity is a good friend. It was nice to get out of my house for a while, too. The big city could be kind of intimidating at first, but that was what was so great about Rarity being there."
Twilight nodded. "Sounds like you two had a great time, and I'm happy for that." Twilight motioned in the direction of the market. "Well, I have some shopping to get done, so I'll talk to you later. You just let me know if you need anything, okay? I'm always here for you."
"Thank you, Twilight. I don't know what I would do without you girls."
With one final hug, Fluttershy and Twilight parted ways. Fluttershy hummed to herself as she trotted back to her little cottage, smiling and waving as she passed other ponies on the street. None of them were sick, which was good, though some were admittedly elderly...
Fluttershy pushed the thought out of her mind. Elderly did not mean miserable and sick. She once heard Applejack joke that Death would have to come for Granny Smith while she was sleeping, because if she was awake Granny Smith would smack him in the face and tell him to go away. She chuckled at the idea as she trotted up to her door. Upon opening it, she was greeted by the happy squeaks and chirps that usually accompanied her return. She patted a few on the head and nuzzled a couple others before quietly asking them if they would please go back to playing, as she had a little work to do.
Content that her animals were taken care of for the moment, though feeding time would be soon, she walked into her kitchen to the cabinet where her special box was stored. Her smile fell, but she remained resolute. Fluttershy took her suitcase off of her back and put it on the kitchen table before unzipping it and taking her purse out. She set it next to her suitcase before taking her box out of the cabinet. Fluttershy flinched at the sound of it being put on the hardwood table next to her purse. She retracted her hoof the instant it was steady, as though the box held an electric shock. Shuddering, opened up her purse, which still held the leftover ingredients from when she helped the stallion. Gulping, she gingerly opened the box and looked at her stash. It contained plenty in the horrific event that more animals needed help, but if she wanted to expand to making ponies feel better, she would need a lot more. She twitched as she put the ingredients in the box before putting the lid back on. The less she had to deal with that, though, the better.
Fluttershy sat down at the table and pushed the box away behind her suitcase. Her gaze drifted down to the table, where they landed on a single faded red blemish on the wood. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she ran her hoof over the only remaining part of Angel Bunny in her home. She had buried him in the usual spot, of course, but when it came time to clean the table off, she couldn't do it all the way. She had to leave something. Thankfully it was a small enough stain that one could only spot it if they knew where to look.
She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her other foreleg while continuing to run her hoof over the stain. "Mommy's so sorry, Angel Bunny," she whimpered. "I'm sorry that I couldn't help you. I wish I could have made you understand that I was only trying to make you feel better. Mommy couldn't ever hurt you." Fluttershy laid her head down next to the spot. "It's my fault that I didn't make you understand. B-but I learned that animals aren't always going to understand when you try to help them. Ponies too, I guess. They just don't understand that sometimes they don't know what's best for them, and I do. You didn't understand that." Fluttershy let a sob loose. "Why did you never understand that?!" Fluttershy squeaked and put a hoof over her mouth. No need to raise her voice. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"But I'm not going to have to worry about that anymore, Angel Bunny. You've helped me see that I need to b-be more assertive when helping others feel better. When I helped that stallion... it wasn't so bad. I didn't ask him; he didn't even know. Now he's okay. That's the best way to do it. Yeah, that's the best way." Fluttershy's jaw quivered, and she whimpered before nuzzling the spot. "Oh why didn't you let me help you?"
Fluttershy's musings were interrupted by three sharp knocks on her door. She squeaked and shot to her hooves. She blinked once before turning towards her door. After a few moments, another trio of knocks came. She sighed and wiped her eyes again before flying over to the door and opening it. She flinched back almost unperceptively when she saw a beaming Pinkie Pie on the other side.
"Heya, Fluttershy!" Pinkie chirped. "I was just coming over because Dashie is gonna be doing some tricks in the park this evening and she wanted to know if you wanted to--"
Pinkie's smile faded when she saw Fluttershy's puffy red eyes. She flattened her ears and nervously rubbed one of her forelegs. "Um... is this a day to cry?"
Fluttershy took a deep breath, but gave Pinkie a reassuring smile and shook her head. "No, no, Pinkie, not that. I was just..." She sniffled a bit but kept her smile. "Reminiscing. All of my animals are perfectly fine."
Pinkie's smile returned, but not with the same amount of zeal. "Well that's good. I'm hoping that you're not too sad, though. Are you gonna be at the park later?"
Fluttershy nodded. "I think that sounds kind of nice. I haven't seen Rainbow Dash in a while."
"Awesome!" Pinkie cried, her smile returning to its previous length. "In that case, I'll see you later, Fluttershy. I'm gonna head on over to the Ponyville hospital foal's ward to do some cheering up!"
Fluttershy chuckled, and her smile turned a touch more genuine. "Oh yes, it is Wednesday, isn't it?" Fluttershy's smile turned into a thoughtful frown, and her mind drifted over to her box. "So, the foals. Are they all really sick? They're gonna get better, right?"
Pinkie giggled and waved a hoof. "Of course they are. Most of 'em are in there for stuff like broken bones or small surgeries. Nothing life threatening. You don't have to worry about any of them."
"Oh good," Fluttershy said, a relieved smile crossing her face. "Still... would you mind if I came with you today? We still need to catch up a bit, don't we?"
"Absopositivelylutely!" Pinkie cried. "I'd love to have you come along!"
"Alright, then, give me one minute."
Fluttershy shut the door and walked into her kitchen where her box still lay. Sick foals, Pinkie had said. They still had their whole lives in front of them. Sure, they were going to get better, but what if there was one or two who wasn't? A terminally ill foal was just about the worst thing Fluttershy could think of. She reached down and put her hoof on the bottom lip of the lid. Just a little bit couldn't hurt, just in case she needed it.
"You coming, Fluttershy?" Pinkie called out. "We gotta get going!"
"Coming, Pinkie!" Fluttershy responded.
Fluttershy looked back down at the box and sighed. No, there was no reason to do this if she wasn't sure that there wasn't somepony in need. Otherwise she was just looking for excuses to kill. That would be evil, and she wasn't an evil pony. She was doing good things. With a nod, she put the box back in her pantry before going out the door with Pinkie Pie.
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At least it's continuing.
5111212
Its the internet
You can NEVER count on people NOT being that stupid.
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I wonder how long it'll be until Fluttershy's requirements for ponies needing her help start slipping, or until one of her friends needs her help...
Methinks she's gonna start enjoying it soon enough...
You need the sad tag here. For real.
If this ain't foreshadowing, I don't know what is.
So far nothing completely fucked up. I wonder when she'll make the distinction between someone who should be killed out of mercy, compared to those who shouldn't.
It's possible to go as far as to kill anyone you meet, as "they don't realize that being dead is so cozy and peaceful compared to living. They wouldn't understand. Let's kill every woman and child!"
5168870 The tragedy tag is there for a reason. Tragedy means that not only is it sad, the ending is guaranteed to be, well, tragic (like Romeo and Juliet).
I can sorta understand fluttershy's reasoning, but stil
Ok I'm on the latest chapter...this is fascinating to read. I don't honestly know what to think of Fluttershy at this point. I can see how she's slowly been eroded over the years with all the animals she's had o take care of and loosing Angel Bunny AND having this be the first time an animal has been aware of what tea does and reacting naturally to it must have been a real shock to her system.
It all makes a morbid sort of sense since Fluttershy needs what she's doing to be a good thing since she's never properly purged her emotions and she's all twisted up inside. I can't see her as in the wrong but she's clearly developing a subconscious liking for it, or at least showing hints of it.
I'm very interested to see where this goes.
I would rather die slowly and painfully for a couple extra days, even minutes with my family. Thats what Fluttershy is missing.
me
________________
YES!!!!!! I'm glad this updated.
yoooooo new Gwenwyn chapter
I know turning Flutters into a not-OOC serial killer is a Herculean feat, but keep at it because the way you've set it up, its totally a deconstruction of Euthanasia.
This is great! I hope that we get more than one chapter a year, for the upcoming year.
5171310 Now, now, the previous wait was five months, then seven. So the next one will be nine.
... not really.
5171552 Yesterday. I'll fix.
I'm not entirely sure I want tot continue reading or not... Not because I don't think it's well written, but the opposite in fact. It's so in character that I'm kind of afraid that this is really happening in the show.
Frightening really.. Though if it were not so... believable, then it would be less depressing. 
I really feel for Fluttershy here though, I can understand what she's saying. 
Though at what point does she turn into the Angel of Death from Project Horizons? 
Thinking that life itself is too sad to live so mercy must be given I mean.
It's so messed up in the sense that a reader can easily gain sympathy for how Fluttershy's feeling and what she's doing. Despite committing murder, she believes she has good reasons to do this, and she's constantly justifying to herself that she's making things better for those she kills. Not to mention how emotional she feels for her actions. It's not like she's doing it for fun, but she's doing what she is certain what would be the right thing to do, no matter how hard it hurts her. Eventually, however, she will start bending her own rules and start trekking on a dangerous path. As of right now, though, we're only at the starting stage, one where we feel bad for her, so when we get to the inevitable, we'll most likely continue sticking with this character. Or not. Honestly, I can see either side.
What if it because A.B knew what the ingredients did he refused to drink it?
I found a few mistakes.
had
I think you mean she.
so if so?
so there was someone on the train that was sick?
She put a hoof on her own shoulder?
She opened her purse by shuddering?
5175021 He totally knew. He was a jerk, but he was certainly smart. He knew what was in that box and what it did. Then Fluttershy is offering it to him when he's hurt? Nuh-uh.
Whelp, someone's most definitely going to die. Lucky Angel Bunny, at least he knew he was going to die if he drank the stuff. Wonder how long Flutters can go without snapping.
Oh, Fluttershy
.
5221745
Given how kindhearted Flutters is she'd likely try and write out the most pleasing deaths she could come up with for the victim. I'm betting having them hallucinate something amazingly sweet to them while they drifted away.
But power like that would eventually corrupt her like it would corrupt anyone.
It needs to be about... 20% darker.
5390723 Oh just you wait...
5390930 Well THAT isn't foreboding at all
I have a funny feeling Rainbow Dash will have an accident while performing stunts as a result of the injury she got while fighting the timber wolves
I can't imagine what will happen to Fluttershy once all this hits the proverbial fan and she gets caught.
I cried blubbering baby tears when Rarity was executed in a beautifully written way in The Secret Life of Rarity. I don't think my fragile heart (never thought I'd say that!) could cope with Fluttershy's execution, if she does get caught, that is, and if it happens to pan out that way.
Anyone else feel like this could totally be taking place at the same time as the secret life of Rarity? Both of them keeping their little murder secrets from each other.
I knew it was a bad idea to read a story that hadn't been updated in a long time, but I did it anyways. Now it'll probably never get updated.
6201652 Oh, it will at some point.
6201828 Oh, good.
After a year, I'm back
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Just started reading this and all I can say is wow. The characterization for Fluttershy is spot on, and the rate at which the story is unfolding is near perfect. Only a few chapters in and it's obvious the internal struggle going on, my hat is off to you.
I flinched a bit when it said 'Pinkie cried'.