Let Us Have A Quiet Life Which Slowly Ramps Into Awesome Adventures

by cupcake

Applelack Gets Sick

It was a calm night and the temperature was mild, but it was completely dark. The air, replete with nighttime scents, shifted restlessly beneath a sky covered with tall clouds signifying imminent warm spring rain, fat drops that would run over the already moist earth. The atmosphere felt electric, the land and sky compressed like a spring just on the verge of bursting forth, but for now the rain held back. With Luna on her monthly break, there was no moon to shine upon Aloise as she was working in her laboratory late. Beakers arrayed in a disorganized fashion hosted liquids, some bubbling and others calm, as pumps pumped and she consulted a dog eared reference volume.

Starting to feel hungry, she descended the narrow back stairway and into the kitchen, hearing no noise nor seeing any lights from her friends’ bedrooms as she passed. Walking the well-known path in the darkness between the bottom of the stairs and the refrigerator, she opened the door and took out a bad habit of hers, a block of cheese she had whittled down with her nightly visits. Turning around, something caught her eye, poorly lit from the refrigerator. Startled and apprehensive, she magically flipped the light switch to clearly illuminate the kitchen, discovering Applelack standing in the middle of the room, staring into space.

“Applelack! What are you doing, standing here in the dark?”

Applelack seemed to shake from a reverie before responding, “Oh, Ah, Ah’m not sure, exactly.”

“And you look so pale!”

“Well, don’t you worry yourself about me, I feel fine. I’ll just be getting back to bed.”

“All right then...” Aloise ate cheese and bread and tried to go back to work, but too distracted she decided to go to sleep instead.

***

On a morning later that week, as nopony was up before eleven, Aloise and Ennuye decided to make French toast. Ennuye tried to help at first but it was clear she wasn’t sure what to do and also hadn’t mastered her ability to control her incorporeality, leading to spilled milk, and so Aloise took it upon herself and her magic horn to prepare it. This left Ennuye free to make conversation, specifically to make conversation about the absent third friend.

“Have you seen Applelack recently?” Ennuye began, “that pony is acting so weird lately.”

Aloise responded indifferently, “well, ponies are ponies; she can do what she wants.” She thought a moment, “well, I have been seeing less of her lately.”

“Ponies might be ponies, but I saw her running through the garden last night, at like three AM!”

“Since you were awake at three too, how can you call that weird?”

“Also, I’m pretty sure she has been eating animals out of the garden. I found some mangled carcasses as I was taking a stroll the other day, and I think I saw her holding one in her mouth last night.”

Aloise conceded, “ok, that is a little strange. Especially since I thought she was a vegetarian, like most other ponies.”

Ennuye continued, “also, have you seen how pale she has been?”

“Yes, I asked her about that, if she was sick, and she said she was fine.”

The French toast being done, they munched on it together in good humor.

***

Later that day, Aloise went to the center of town to the lab supply store to purchase some reagents. As her order was being filled by the stock pony, the owner, Alfalfa Aesar, stood near the counter. After the awkwardness of standing so near each other not saying anything, trying not to meet Aloise’s eyes, became too much for the poor shop keep, he tried conversation.

“Have you heard the rumors going around about those fainting ponies?”

Aloise tried to appear interested, “fainting ponies? I didn’t hear about that.”

“I’m surprised! They are mostly around your side of town. Twilight and Pinkie and that bunch of friends have been ‘investigating’ it even, but I think they mostly just get in people’s way.”

“Uh-huh. And what exactly is this fainting about?”

“Well, some ponies have been found in the morning, a few a week, weak and pale. They’ve been taking them to the hospital and they get better within a few days, but have no memory of how they got that way! It’s just not right. I’m afraid to walk around at night anymore.”

“Huh... interesting.”

Alfalfa was turned off of the conversation because it seemed like Aloise wasn’t interested, so they stood there silent for a few minutes before the order was complete. However, the truth was that Aloise was deeply interested but too deep in her own thoughts to respond. She was worried about Applelack, that she might have this same sickness, and was hoping it wasn’t a magical disease, which are often much harder to cure.

***

Aloise arrived home from Alfalfa Aesar’s and instantly sought out Applelack and Ennuye. Applelack was nowhere to be found, but Ennuye was easily found lounging in the library, not reading a book and just staring into space. Aloise convinced Ennuye that they should probably get Applelack to the hospital and conscripted her to aid in the search. However, Applelack was nowhere to be found. Eventually the two of them got bored and decided to have dinner. The menu was lasagna.

Halfway through dinner, as Ennuye was trying to simultaneously scarf down a piece of garlic bread and expound on the merits of Batpony over Superpony, Applelack came to the dining room from the yard.

“Applelack!” The two seated ponies cried together.

“Where have you been?” continued Ennuye. “I was actually starting to worry about you, since it has been so long.”

Applelack smiled. “Evenin’ y’all. I’ve just been around, you know.”

Aloise was concerned at first, but noticing that Applelack was looking much healthier, with a good color to her and sharp eyes, she relaxed. “Lasagna?” she asked.

Applelack sat down and joined them and the conversation became animated, the three friends bantering as if they had known each other for years and not just months. However, Aloise noticed that Applelack hardly touched her food, merely stirring it around the plate for effect. Ennuye noticed that when Applelack smiled, her incisors seemed a little longer than usual, but maybe they had always been that way.

A few days proceeded normally, with Applelack being around the house or in the garden, so her two friends relaxed their vigilance and began to forget about the whole strange week before that. Then Applelack disappeared again for a day and a half.

***

Ennuye and Aloise stood in the kitchen in the early afternoon making sandwiches. “You know what would go really well with this? Tomatoes,” said Aloise.

“Gross,” said Ennuye.

“Don’t worry,” said Aloise, laughing, “I stocked the cellar extremely well for just this occasion.”

She trotted off to the basement stairs, smiling happily and thinking about tomatoes. Reaching the bottom of the steps, she turned into the cellar and flicked on the lamp with her horn.

“Holy horses of the apocalypse!” she exclaimed, startled by a pale white pony standing in the center of the cellar. She looked closer. “Applelack? Is that you?”

The phantasmagoric pony stared back, breathing heavily and baring its long, sharp teeth.

Ennuye came trotting down the stairs, “what are you doing down here, making all that noise?” she asked. “Did the tomato monster get you?”

“Come here, Ennuye. I found Applelack and she is in terrible shape. We need to get her to the hospital right away!” Aloise began to move towards Applelack and, seeing the earth pony not react strongly, got behind her and began to push. “Come one, up the stairs!”

Ennuye moved forward to help, but was having trouble giving any aid as she frequently would slip right through the other white pony when she lost her concentration and became incorporeal.

Applelack moved a few steps at first, but nearing the stairs she began to struggle. Seeming to come out of a reverie, Applelack threw Aloise to the side and snapped out at Ennuye, fortunately her fangs passing harmlessly through her. “Ya’ll ain’t gonna get me!” Applelack growled, her voice strangely deep and menacing, “for this’ll be yer last hour!” The deranged filly dashed towards Aloise’s prone form with sinister intent.

Spurred to action, Aloise’s horn started to glow as she sent forth a blue beam of light. Applelack began to levitate off the ground, momentarily surprised, but then her eyes narrowed and the hues of Applelack’s coat faded as a black aura seeped into existence about her. She gently sank back down to the ground, no matter how much Aloise increased the strength of her beam. Black shadows like vines filled the basement and the terrible stench of decay filled the room.

Aloise steeled herself for the coming battle. Summoning a lithe sword and a pouch of tinctures from elsewhere in the house, she met Applelack’s first attack and repelled it. As steel clashed with fang and claw, Ennuye mentally steeled herself and joined the fray. Seeing an opening, she rushed at Applelack and tried to tackle her to the ground. The full force of Ennuye’s rush was barely noticed by its target, but the momentary distraction gave Aloise enough time to break a vial, releasing its contents on the ground underneath Applelack. Magical red flames encircled her and Ennuye but quickly died out, having no effect. “Drat,” sighed Aloise, resigning herself to a longer battle, “she appears to have some sort of magical protection about her.”

Applelack turned towards Aloise, gathering up the clouds of darkness into whips with snake-like heads, sending them one after the other to attack. Fortunately Aloise was nimble, dodging left and right and rolling out of the way of each strike, but she had no time to formulate an attack of her own.

Ignored, Ennuye was able to think of a plan. She drifted through the ceiling and presently returned by the stairs carrying a bunch of bottles. “Here are more potions! But which one should I use?” she called out to Aloise. Her yelling out attracted the attention of Applelack, who turned towards her with an evil look in her eye. As the black tendrils snaked towards her, Ennuye gulped and dropped everything she was carrying, forgetting to be corporeal. Bottles and tubes fell to the ground, cracking as they hit the stone floor. Colors ran together and flowed over the irregular stones, the magical chemicals not reacting right away but soon they began to fizzle and pop. Then chaos erupted. Bright glowing balls flew every direction, melting small holes into everything they touched; creeping vines spread spontaneously over the floor, smoke rose into the air and formed itself into the shape of dragons and bears, and the sound of a thousand horses whinnying filled the air along with the smell of baking cake. Amidst the confusion, Aloise was able to telekinetically force Applelack up the stairs.

In the clear, bright kitchen, the ponies faced off once more, two against one, but the battle was short as a feint from Aloise’s sword provided the opening for Ennuye to buck Applelack through the nearest window and onto the porch. Rather than continue the fight, Applelack lay on the ground, writhing and screaming, tendrils of smoke rising from her body.

“Don’t be such a baby,” Aloise chastised, “it’s just the doctor’s office!”

“Yeah,” Ennuye chimed in, “and at the end they give you candy!” Her eyes grew wide, “woah. I felt like I was about to remember something about my life, but I guess not.”

Aloise and Ennuye loaded the squirming Applelack into a cart and started down the road.

***

After signing in, waiting in the doctor’s office was boring and longer than expected. Upon entering the building, Applelack seemed to calm down and her body was no longer smoking, but she lay in a heap, twitching periodically. Aloise and Ennuye had propped her up in a chair in the crowded room, next to a young colt holding a bandage to his arm.

“Why is it so crowded today?” Aloise asked nopony in particular, taking the one empty seat, beside Applelack.

Suddenly a yelp sounded from the other side of Applelack, and an indignant young voice, “ow! That pony bit me!”

“Oh dear.” Aloise led Applelack away, across the room, apologizing repeatedly. She ignored the further protests from the colt.

“Hey, but she BIT me!”

Fortunately, before the colt’s mother could get involved Nurse Redheart called from the doorway, “Applelack?”

Relieved, Aloise and Ennuye quickly ushered Applelack into the examination room where the doctor was waiting.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Princess. What seems to be the problem?”

“Doctor Princess?” Ennuye asked, “are you a princess? But you are only a pegasus.”

“Nope, its just a name.”

“Well,” Aloise began, “as you can see, our friend here is in this state and we don’t know what to do.” She gestured to the twitching and crispy Applelack.

Doctor Princess’ eyes lit up, “fortunately, you came to the right doctor! I know just what this is. I have a lot of experience in it from my residency, let me just do a quick test.” She pulled an empty syringe out of a nearby cabinet and tried to take a blood sample, but nothing came out. “Yup, I’m certain now. It’s a case of vamponyism.”

“Vamponyism!?” Aloise exclaimed. “I guess that does explain a few things...”

“Don’t worry, the treatment is simple. Just a pill once a day for a few months should clear that right up.”

Ennuye looked confused, “how does one contract vamponyism anyway?”

“There are a few different ways. Has she been sleeping near any cursed graves?”

Ennuye and Aloise shared a look, both thinking the same thing.

Doctor Princess continued, “she won’t want to take the first pill, so I have it in injection form.” She opened her lab coat quickly and tried to surreptitiously pull a syringe out from a brace of them and close it before anyone could see, but Aloise and Ennuye both caught a glimpse of wooden stakes, various pieces of silver, and a gun as well. “There you go. Your friend Applelack will start to return to normal within a few hours and just make sure she keeps taking the pills until the supply runs out.” The doctor wrote a prescription for two months and sent them home.

***

On the way back to the mansion, Aloise trundling the cart along carrying the dazed Applelack, she and Ennuye discussed the possibility of Ennuye’s cursed grave causing the vamponyism.

“But since you’re a ghost, your grave has to be cursed in some way, right?”

“I’m not sure if that’s how curses work. Actually, I have no idea how curses work. I thought ghosts didn’t exist until I became one!”

“Also, since you hung around the mansion for thirty years, your grave should be somewhere nearby.”

“I’m not sure about that either.”

“Will you ponies quit hollerin’? I feel exhausted and ah would like to get some sleep!” Aloise and Ennuye turned towards the cart, glad to see Applelack awake.

“Oh, Applelack!” Ennuye glomped her, still laying on the cart.

“I’m so glad you’re back!” said Aloise. “You were a vampony!”

“Ah know. I remember everything,” said Applelack, “and after I get some sleep there will be some apologies that have to be made. Also, I don’t think I will ever forget the taste of chipmunk blood. Or pony blood, for that matter. Did you know they taste quite different?”

“Uh... no, I didn’t know that.” Aloise responded, but Applelack had passed out in the cart due to exhaustion.

The three ponies continued down the dirt road.

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that chipmunk blood and pony blood taste very different.

Also, Luna forgot to raise the moon again a few nights ago. It’s not like she has anything else to do, so why can’t she just get it right for once?

your faithful teacher,
Alicorn Mega Princess Twilight Sparkle who was time traveling and hiding in a nearby bush.

p.s. No sign of what caused the Aponyocalypse yet, but I will keep looking.

Author's Note:

TY to Trazlo for edits.