Unforeseeable Crumble and Finding Hardship's Double

by sweeT2010Tooth

Enduring The Life We Choose

I was seething with anger by the time I got home.

How DARE the postmaster set me up like that! I must had been standing before Ditzy for thirty minutes not able to say a single word! All that time not a single pony came outside of the building to help her! Somepony else MUST of heard her cry out in pain, too! I'm not the only one that was working there, after all! I couldn't be! And what about the postmaster!? I'm sure he could see everything from the window! What is that stallion playing at in not coming out to help until he was sure I couldn't do anything!?

The frustration I felt inside boiled over and I bucked the house's interior wall next to the front door creating two new holes. Looking back at those two holes, I relaxed a little bit but the heavy breathing continued. The heavy breathing stopped once I realized that I had almost kicked my family's picture sitting on a dresser next to the front door. Picking up the framed picture, I was very glad that it remained undamaged. My son remained happy next to both his smiling parents oblivious to the short-lived rage his father had just showed.

I sat down at that very spot on the floor and continued to look at the picture with memories flooding back. It is such a wonder that a simple framed picture can double as one's own mirrored past. Back then life was simple and blissful. Everything has fallen apart now. It started with my wife wanting to seek short-lived private 'alone' time, then more space and longer time spent apart. 'It is only temporary,' she always told me. It is maddening how 'temporary' becomes permanent. We never had any fights; it was more like we grew apart. When the romance died out there was nothing left keeping us together. Well, one thing - our little colt.

We tried to make it work, we really did. We stayed together two more years after our first serious conversations about separation in hopes that we could hold out on drifting apart until our little colt was all grown up. How can somepony explain these things to their yearling? That sometimes stallions and mares just fall out of love? I took my left hoof and touched my son's joyful face hoping to once again know his touch. All I felt was glass. I placed the picture back onto the dresser and continued to look at its smiling faces.

After we separated, custody of our little colt was given to my wife including the house we lived in for many years. I had visitation rights so I could see him every now and then. However, as time passed, my ex-wife became convinced I was a bad influence on our son. I wasn't a bad influence...I couldn't be. My visitation rights were kept within the limits set forth by the ruling court. I tried my hardest to gain more leverage in those proceedings, but the court has a way of being one-sided sometimes.

The worst news came when my ex-wife let me know that she had married another stallion. The stallion was a good step-father. He never did anything wrong to our little colt. However, I could only feel like I had been replaced and my previous life was stolen. My continued visits with my son only resulted in conversations about the step father. I didn't start these conversations - my son did. I had to endure wonderful stories on how they, as a family, did this, did that, went here, went there.

I needed to get away from that city. I really did. There was nothing but bitter memories lingering in its air. When I told my little colt I was moving, he cried for hours on end. I assured him of my continued visits. I just needed to get away from that city. He wasn't entirely convinced and thought I'd never return. It breaks my heart in thinking about his pain.

It breaks my heart to know he was caught in the middle of a parents' separation.

Staring at that picture, I couldn't find the strength to get into bed. I fell asleep in that exact spot awaiting for the next morning's work to take my mind off these problems.

---

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Without setting an alarm, I was still remarkably on time for work. The postmaster didn't say anything about yesterday's event and gave me my assigned mail carrier route. I departed for it before the gray mare arrived in hopes of avoiding an embarrassing encounter. What happened yesterday was not fun. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to relive it. Those loud cries still rang in my ears like a ghost haunting my very soul. The very look she gave me with those tear-filled eyes showed so much pain. Half of me wanted to know what happened. The other half hoped it was just a bad dream.

The mail carrier route was easy enough to complete. With my dedication to the job, I was done with two hours to spare. The folk of this town are very nice. A few times I stopped to have casual conversations with them. A certain pony, Bon Bon, was telling me specific ways on how to make candy without resorting to high amounts of sugar. She pointed out many different ingredients that were natural sweeteners I never knew about.

I stopped by a boutique that sold clothes. After passing along a few packages over to the store owner, I had a charming conversation with her. It seemed her cat was nowhere to be seen but I noticed a ball of white fur hiding up in a nearby tree. I offered to get the cat down and got scratched a few times. The store owner laughed a bit and we continued talking pleasantries.

By the day's end, I was feeling pretty happy. The postmaster had wanted me to socialize but he didn't understand that this is why I chose this career. For one, I get to walk around stretching my legs. Two, I get to meet all kinds of ponies living their daily lives. I have to admit that his idea of not delivering mail but 'news' peaks my interest. Certainly it would be foolish to not see that the messages we carry would be news to those who receive them.

Arriving back at the post office with my load of retrieved outgoing mail, I noticed Derpy outside of the building with the same postal hat. She seemed rather happy and in high spirits. I wouldn't know what to do if she was still depressed. She had a little filly running around her legs in excitement. I had been avoiding her all day and didn't want to be completely rude so I approached her.

"Hi, you seem to be doing much better today. How are things?"

"Oh, hi! Everything's much better! Thanks for asking!" she said with that wide open bright smile. I was actually glad to see that smile's return.

"So, who's this cute little princess?" I said kneeling down to get a better look at the excited filly. "I can certainly see she gets her good looks from her mother."

"She's my daughter, Dinky!" Ditzy said blushing in embarrassment.

"Is she now? She sure seems in high spirits."

"Yeah, her father is coming two days from now after work to pick her up. She had an early out from school so I brought her here. Dinky, say hi to a pony that works at the post office with me."

The filly jumped up and down in front of me.

"Hi! My name's Dinky! I'm gonna be the best unicorn ever! Mommy and Daddy tell me so every night!"

"Can you show me some of that magic, darling?"

"Sure can, mister!"

The little filly then began struggling to cast magic from her horn. Surprisingly, she managed to lift my hat a few inches off my head.

"Wow! You're certainly talented! Your mommy and daddy must be right considering what I've just seen."

"Of course they're right! Daddy teaches me so much when I'm with him!"

I spent some time outside talking to Ditzy and Dinky before heading into the post office. It was really nice to see Ditzy happy unlike yesterday. I couldn't help but wonder what in that letter made her so sad. For a while, I thought something had happened to her ex-husband. Still, I had no nerve to ask her outright about the letter's content. It was her business and not mine. If she were to let me know, it should be of her own accord.

Ditzy and Dinky finally headed off back home with the little filly still running circles around her mother's legs. A memory of my son flashed across my mind...my son used to excitedly run circles around his mother's legs too. I continued to watch them walk off into the distance until both disappeared. No matter how much I wish things would return to what they once were, I'll never have little moments like that again. After all, we must endure the life we choose. Maybe I should have never let our lives drift apart. I wonder if I even had a choice.

---

[/hr]

As soon as I entered the post office, the postmaster called me over to him. He dropped what he was doing giving me his full attention.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I thought things would turn out differently."

"You read the letter. How DID you think it was going to turn out?"

"I know, I know. Did you read the letter? Did Ditzy say anything about it?"

"No, I have no idea what it contained. All I got was an inconsolable mare crying her eyes out. I didn't need that on my first day, you know!"

"Fair enough. Again, I sincerely apologize for putting that on your shoulders. I thought you would be the perfect one to help her."

"Sir, what're you going on about?"

The postmaster sighed deeply, walked over to the nearby window staring out it, and continued his talk.

"Son, there are some things life throws at us that catches us off guard. When these things happen, those with similar situations can offer the most assistance from experience. Ditzy and you have a lot more in common than you think you do. Normally, I talk these things out with her. I merely saw an opportunity to have somepony else more effectively carry that weight. Instead, I accidentally threw you into the fire."

"I still don't see what you're getting at."

"Well, if you're willing to hear me out, let's talk about this over lunch tomorrow. I'll have a more detailed explanation then."

"I'll be there, sir."

"One more thing," he said as I was heading to the back room to take my retrieved outgoing mail. "The reason I don't call her 'Derpy' is because I remember her from back when she didn't have a broken home. She didn't get to keep her dignity but at least she was given custody of the little filly."

I stared at him for a bit as he continued staring out the window. The words he said confused me. He did say he would explain himself tomorrow so I'll hold him to it. I took what I was carrying to the back room and headed home somewhat glad that my second day didn't turn out as bad as the first. That sad face still flashes in front of my eyes reminding me of an inability to voice any response.

When I got back home, I immediately noticed the two holes in the wall from yesterday. I should plan on fixing those with some drywall patching. Again, my eyes fell upon the smiling picture of my past family. My attention was immediately drawn to my little colt. His likeness was very similar to that of Dinky. They both were always in high spirit, energetic, and happy. It is in a child's innocence that a stallion or mare can find themselves again. After all, we were all young, happy, and carefree at one time. We simply forget what it means to remain happy.

I kissed my hoof gently and placed it on the picture saying goodnight to my little colt. Maybe somewhere he is doing the same. It'll be a while before I can see him again. By then, he'll be a little older. Every visit will only reveal a growing stallion with me missing out on his life growing up. Maybe one day he'll understand that I still love him and always will. But everypony knows about what happens with long-distance relationships.

They are strained and might break.