Fallen From The Vine

by omnom19

The Glass

Wine is an alcoholic beverage made from fermented grapes. The natural chemical balance of grapes lets them ferment without the addition of sugars, acids, enzymes, water, or other nutrients. The well-known variations result from the very complex interactions between the biochemical development of the fruit, reactions involved in fermentation, and earth pony intervention with their magic in the overall process.
---Snug Cork, Wine for Beginners

An earth pony stallion carefully tasted the glass of wine. It was the glass, out of the hundreds he had tasted over his many years that he hoped most would turn out right. For if it didn’t? It wouldn’t be the loss of tireless hours cultivating grapes or processing them that was the issue. No, it would be the look on his daughter’s face.

He swallowed painfully. Zinfandel loved her more than life itself, but he couldn’t lie to her.

“It’s…” he struggled to find the right words as he tried to avoid her wide violet eyes. He coughed trying to delay the moment. “It’s not good, Sugar Cube.”

He winced as her ears drooped. His beloved daughter had tried for years for a cutie mark in the grape field. Anything from making jams to making wine barrels and she always came up…short. Her dream was to find a place among the generations of Grapes who made grape products that were known throughout Equestria.

“Is it too dry? Sweet?” his daughter asked anxiously. “Maybe next time I could-” The stallion kissed his daughter’s cheek and held her close in a massive hug.

“Sugar, have you ever thought that maybe…your mark might lie outside of our little vineyard?”

His daughter roughly pushed him away. She glared ferociously at him, his sweet little filly. Although these past summers…she had become a young mare. What had happened to the time?

“Yes, I have. And it’d be hard enough to have a different mark, but I have these.” She spat as she roughly shook out a pair of snow white wings. “It’d be another sign that I don’t belong here, another thing proving that I’m-” She turned and bucked her small test barrel of wine sending splinters of wood and red wine everywhere, staining her coat a rather purplish shade of white. She abruptly left the small wine cellar, leaving a trail of broken wood and dreams in her wake.

Zinfandel sighed and picked up a metal hoop in his teeth and set it against the cool cellar wall. They could reuse it the next time Sugar came around and tried her hoof at winemaking. Probably next week, after she calmed down, she’d give it another go. His little Sugar Cube was as stubborn as a mule. He slowly trotted up the stairs back to the surface to find his wife waiting for him.

“Not good?” she murmured, as she sat beside her husband. Merlot was a pretty earth pony, who was gracefully growing into older age, gray hairs twining peacefully amidst fading red. Though beneath her calm exterior, Zinfandel knew she was as worried about their daughter as he was.

Zinfandel also knew that Merlot blamed herself for their daughter’s….predicament. It was a one in a million chance that Sugar Grape was born a pegasus. And that might have been fine in a big city, but here, miles out in the country, where it was a primarily earth pony population? Hardly anypony had seen a unicorn, let alone a pegasus who would have never stopped in dusty, little Mareheart. Everypony here was either a farmer or something along those lines, and that lent itself to the majority of Mareheart being a hardworking bunch of earth ponies.

No unicorn or pegasus could ever hope to grow anything as well as the earth ponies, who carefully nudged the earth with their innate magic. It was just the way things were.

Many in Mareheart shook their heads whenever they saw the Grapes in town. To have a pegasus as a daughter? What use was that? Sure, they were all fond of the little filly, always hopping and floating behind her parents. But when it came to harvest time, Sugar Grape just couldn’t do what the rest could. She couldn’t much keep any plant alive which was what mattered in Mareheart. And with no other pegasus to teach her, Sugar had to learn how to fly by herself, let alone manage weather. After a few singed wings and lightning struck barns, Sugar stuck with flying.

Zinfandel shook his head. “Not even close, Mer.” He slowly scanned the skies for their daughter. “She thinks she’s a failure and it’s just breakin’ my heart to see her this way.”

Merlot pawed the ground restlessly. “We’ve tried sending her to family, to get some perspective, to get out of Mareheart, but she won’t leave! Zin, I’m at my wit’s end with this child, I swear she’ll die here, alone, without her mark.” The alone comment referred to another side effect of having wings, at least in Mareheart, Sugar had few friends. Foals just didn’t want to be friends with the weird, useless pony.

“If only she’d understand that’d we would love her just the same.” Zinfandel said, nuzzling his wife. Together they stood and walked silently back up the hill to their purple house, only stopping to check again for the flash of white they loved so much.

Comments

[Smatexas]

I loved that quote in chapter one, I read it 6 times. This story has my attention and curiosity can't wait for more

[Diamond Sparkle]

You just earned your first follower.

[The Cake Devil]

I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

Yours Truly Thecakedevil.

[moguera]

Well isn't this a neat little find? This has a lot of potential and has some pretty solid writing so far. If only the chapters weren't so short. But if that works for you as a writer, then by all means...

[CartsBeforeHorses]

Good story. The chapters are a bit short, but other than that, you have a good story idea here.

[EquesTRON]

(THY STORY INTRIGUES US –)
(*Ahem.* "Indoor voice", Luna. We talked about this.)
(...yes, of course. Our apologies. Anyway. Thy story hath caught Our attention, scribe, and We shall be watching with great interest.)

Couple of things you might want to work on:

You've got a number of long sentences which could benefit from an extra comma or two, such as:

Early was waking before Celestia even thought about painting the sky, before her first cup of royal coffee was even brewed, to tend to the many tasks that filled a farmer’s day.

The white pony tried to stand, and in the light from the porch lights they could see the number of red angry scratches tearing at the once white coat, branches sticking awkwardly through a purple mane.

She turned and bucked her small test barrel of wine, sending splinters of wood and red wine everywhere, staining her coat a rather purplish shade of white.

Alternatively, re-word them or break them up so they don't read so much like "This happened and then this and then this and then this." Stacking up too many "ands" in a short space reads oddly. For example, instead of:

The broken mare was carefully placed in the back of a sturdy applecart and hauled quickly into Ponyville by the two Apples while Fluttershy joined her in the back, softly stroking the weeping pegasus.

Zinfandel sighed and picked up a metal hoop in his teeth and set it against the cool cellar wall.

make them:
Zinfandel sighed as he picked up a metal hoop in his teeth and set it against the cool cellar wall.

The broken mare was carefully placed in the back of a sturdy applecart. Fluttershy lay next to her, softly stroking the weeping pegasus, while the Apples hitched themselves to the wagon and took off for Ponyville as fast as they dared.

Something like that, anyway.

That purple pony had just dragged her friends off to some hoof’forsaken place to go save yet another pony race and Applejack just wanted to sleep.

This is a bit inconsistent with the rest of the story. Twilight obviously hasn't dragged her friends off somewhere, since AJ is still at her farm and Fluttershy was tending her animals. To make it fit the previous line, and make it part of Applejack's thoughts, try something like this instead:
That purple pony was probably about to drag her friends off to some hoof-forsaken place to go face down yet another evil whatsis, and save yet another pony race, when Applejack just wanted to sleep.

Lastly -- when you use compound adjectives, like "once-white coat" and "earth-pony stallion", be sure to hyphenate them. Whenever two words act together as a single adjective, hyphenate them.

[Axan Zenith]

For a new writer, this is actually pretty good. If the chapters were a little longer and the actual writing having a bit more...substance, to it, I could see this turning out really well.

[Liqwidice]

You tell so much with so few words. Most excellent work.

[Wiriamuzu]

Poor kid...Or filly. Or is it young mare? Ah whatever THE FEELS!!