AWKWARD: Being a normal guy and having Cadance switch bodies with you. BAD: Being sent to Equestria in her body. REALLY BAD: Shining thinks you're actually his wife. REALLY, REALLY BAD: He tells you he wants kids!
You know, you made something i thought you won't: the sex scene was not meant to clop with it. Seeing how you approached these kind of scenes in Five Score, i thought you will take this scene differently. Not that i am complaining, it's actually the opposite, because you are just showing two things:
1| Not all the sex scenes are meant to be just a "clop-fest". 2| You don't take the easy route.
So, now we are going to see some time jump or there's still some twist you are going to throw to us?
While Shining Armor is finally going to have the kids he wants, I still feel really bad for him. Mostly because he's the biggest victim in this. He's just trying his best to be a loving husband, and from what I've seen, he's doing a great job. His wife on the other hand thinks he's so annoying that the appropriate response is to transform into a being from another world, go into said world while simultaneously taking a being from that world, transforming it into her, and then have that being take her role.
And sure, the dude let Shining have sex with him, but chances are he's going to keep avoiding Shining unless it's absolutely necessary for them to be together. Which will likely in turn cause Armor to think he's somehow a bad husband.
First Five Score, now this? That's it, I'm following you.
Good writing!
Minor quibble: I think you've got Twilight's reactions a little... off. I'm sure she's all for their romantic love (she certainly accepts it by the end of the wedding episodes), but if it's not several years after the marriage, and I didn't get the sense that it was, my feeling is Twilight would still be a little weirded out by their eros side. I mean, she even had issues with their romantic relationship at first, and now she's talking casually about sex between her big brother and her foalsitter?
This doesn't feel right.
I still think the story is good, though, clop or not.
2755033 I think you may have this a little off. Twilight never had an issue with Shining having a romantic relationship, just that he never told her. And she was ecstatic when she found out it was Cadence.
I suppose she did approve, for all of 30 seconds. Then Cadance was evil-trying-to-take-away-her-brother-or-worse again, right up until Shining Armor chewed her out for ruining the rehearsal and then she was imprisoned and found the real Cadance. You could be right that she never had a problem with the Cadance she knew marrying Shining Armor, though. The evil-taking-away-big-brother Cadance was, of course, not the one she knew.
Also, need I remind you that if time hasn't advanced a lot, Twilight is still a teenager? Teenagers are really, REALLY awkward about sex, at the best of times, and that's without it being big brother and foalsitter.
Sorry, but while I can see her accepting that it happens (kinda like I have to accept my 70+ year old grandparents still have fun), I can't see her talking about it casually at all, especially with how sheltered she has been most of her life. She pretty much lived in books with no friends but Cadance, Shining Armor, and possibly Spike (not sure he really was one, with how Twilight was treating him in Episode 1), from when she was taken under Celestia's wing as her personal student to when she was sent to Ponyville. This doesn't really suggest she'd have had much opportunity to get comfortable with the idea that adult ponies have sex, get over it, let alone that her family does (which is usually one of the hardest sexual acknowledgements for teenagers to make).
tl;dr (edited): Tentative agreement that maybe she was not upset about the romance, but I still don't think Twilight would casually talk about sex, for reasons.
Okay, I refuse to believe Celestia is suddenly a tyrannical, violent bitch conveniently for this scenario only, she is definitely fucking with our protagonist. Although it would be amusing to see what she would do if this new Cadence got pregnant, then she found out the truth if she really is a twat all around.
How many freakan servants do these people have? Seriously, this is getting ridiculous, these royals
When you spell it like this, it's pronounced "free-can". What you're looking for is " freakin' ", or at least, I've never heard anyone say it like the former.
I can see everything. My quivering teets, my oversized horse cunt
I feel somewhat jealous and most envious of our protagonist here... Damnit! You just made my fetish here ten times worse! Damn you for your erotic pony smut! Damn you for such enthralling storytelling!
2755177 We definitely know some very different teenagers, the teenage girls that I know always shock me with how willingly and enthusiastically they talk about sex.
2755226 I too smell a Trollestia... I wonder if she could tell right away that her (in this story) bitchy niece was acting differently.
We definitely know some very different teenagers, the teenage girls that I know always shock me with how willingly and enthusiastically they talk about sex.
I suppose we must. This is still her brother and foalsitter we're talking about, but it's not like I haven't pointed that out before. So I'm taking this into "agreed to disagree" territory about now.
I think Tia figured "Shining Troubles" right from the start all things considered. Although if her student ever connects the dots for Celestia, she will do a fast 180 turn and...
I wonder if she could tell right away that her (in this story) bitchy niece was acting differently.
You two have a point here. It's not like Celestia wouldn't have noticed the changed demeanor and terrible attempts at lying, unless she's comically stupid. Also the smell, which Shining Armor mentions later. It's obvious from his reaction that not showering that particular scent off is very unusual for Cadance.
Then again, cartoon logic is a good hoofwave for all kinds of plot holes.
I’m running away from the life that seems so perfect. Using my own logic, I should just stay here and enjoy this life, right? I suppuse this is far better than what I had back on Earth.
My mind scrambles for an answer, “...well, you just didn’t let me finish! Ah ha, see, it was Gum Drop’s father's... brother's.... nephew's... cousin's... cat’s former owner’s... friend’s... next door neighbor's... lab partner’s... prom date’s... former roommate’s... little sister! That’s who told of coming from this other world.”
2755814 And the strange thing is that it'll probably be true and he got someone in trouble because of it.
Although I'm more worried about why didn't he ask if it was the pony who did the switching and not the outsider. I mean he could ask what happens if said if the pony forces the outsider to trade places with them, would the pony be in big trouble instead?
2755320 I don't see the issue with wanting to experience things at all. Though, I will admit I have never held the "sane" card for long, and I have some eccentric wants. But who really wouldn't want to know what sex feels like for both genders, or for other creatures. Did I just jump into a weird sexual fetish boat?
20 bits says that the original Cadance had gone to Celestia for help on opening that portal in the first place, and now Celestia is just messing with the poor little human all for her own amusement.
20bits more says she was laughing her flank off as soon as 'Cadance' left her throne room.
Also welp, that's it, so begins the waiting game before he is caught...and executed apparently, so yea know, fun times ahead so he might as well enjoy the whole loving husband thing while he can. :D
Huzzah, room for development into something more substantial and interesting! Whether it's your intention or not, I agree with something someone else wrote - I'd love to see this turn into a full story, even if it's not updated often, and is prioritised after Five Score.
I don't know if this has been thought through, or if you'd explain it differently, but to me it isn't as though they've merely switched bodies (as in he actually physically is cadence, he's stuck in her body) but they've morphed into one another - their own bodies changed shape. His actions now could have grisly consequences if he makes it home and what I suggested is true. Wouldn't explain his immediate grasp of the language, but then he should've had the same competence when performing magic. I think I'm looking at this far too deeply
My brain is still screaming at the fact that Twilight just teleported us a few hundred miles instantaneously. I have no idea how this whole magic thing works, but it’s overpowered as fuck.
My mind scrambles for an answer, “...well, you just didn’t let me finish! Ah ha, see, it was Gum Drop’s father's... brother's.... nephew's... cousin's... cat’s former owner’s... friend’s... next door neighbor's... lab partner’s... prom date’s... former roommate’s... little sister! That’s who told of coming from this other world.”
yup, there's no way in heaven that this will backfire in a brilliant explosion
And now I feel like switching genders, just to see what it feels like to be a female for a day.
And now I feel like switching genders, just to see what it feels like to be a female for a day.
Ugh... Now I am most curious on how it would feel to... You know... Only as a younger Luna... Bloody this fandom and ponies. They drive me to imagine myself as Luna and... ugh
Ha, you guys and your strange dreams. I have never thought about this, nope, not not even once .
2755177 ... Clearly you haven't seen the new generation. Please, there are some teens who are casual about it. I should know, some of my colleges in high school were like that.
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/165/6/2/praise_the_sun_banner_by_mrwallas79-d53gonb.png
Dat Dark Souls reference.
and now im horny. why must i be in texas while my boyfriend resides in wyoming?
You know, you made something i thought you won't: the sex scene was not meant to clop with it. Seeing how you approached these kind of scenes in Five Score, i thought you will take this scene differently. Not that i am complaining, it's actually the opposite, because you are just showing two things:
1| Not all the sex scenes are meant to be just a "clop-fest".
2| You don't take the easy route.
So, now we are going to see some time jump or there's still some twist you are going to throw to us?
I think you meant vagina.
I'm guessing this is an error too.
*must be
This was a pretty good chapter. Definitely nice seeing her reactions to the situation.
Sloppy. Awkward. Hawt.
THANK.
While Shining Armor is finally going to have the kids he wants, I still feel really bad for him. Mostly because he's the biggest victim in this. He's just trying his best to be a loving husband, and from what I've seen, he's doing a great job. His wife on the other hand thinks he's so annoying that the appropriate response is to transform into a being from another world, go into said world while simultaneously taking a being from that world, transforming it into her, and then have that being take her role.
And sure, the dude let Shining have sex with him, but chances are he's going to keep avoiding Shining unless it's absolutely necessary for them to be together. Which will likely in turn cause Armor to think he's somehow a bad husband.
First Five Score, now this? That's it, I'm following you.
Good writing!
Minor quibble: I think you've got Twilight's reactions a little... off. I'm sure she's all for their romantic love (she certainly accepts it by the end of the wedding episodes), but if it's not several years after the marriage, and I didn't get the sense that it was, my feeling is Twilight would still be a little weirded out by their eros side. I mean, she even had issues with their romantic relationship at first, and now she's talking casually about sex between her big brother and her foalsitter?
This doesn't feel right.
I still think the story is good, though, clop or not.
2755033
I think you may have this a little off. Twilight never had an issue with Shining having a romantic relationship, just that he never told her. And she was ecstatic when she found out it was Cadence.
*Suppose
Either way, Yay new chapter
Dude, :D
vagaina is not a word XD
2755097
I suppose she did approve, for all of 30 seconds. Then Cadance was evil-trying-to-take-away-her-brother-or-worse again, right up until Shining Armor chewed her out for ruining the rehearsal and then she was imprisoned and found the real Cadance. You could be right that she never had a problem with the Cadance she knew marrying Shining Armor, though. The evil-taking-away-big-brother Cadance was, of course, not the one she knew.
Also, need I remind you that if time hasn't advanced a lot, Twilight is still a teenager? Teenagers are really, REALLY awkward about sex, at the best of times, and that's without it being big brother and foalsitter.
Sorry, but while I can see her accepting that it happens (kinda like I have to accept my 70+ year old grandparents still have fun), I can't see her talking about it casually at all, especially with how sheltered she has been most of her life. She pretty much lived in books with no friends but Cadance, Shining Armor, and possibly Spike (not sure he really was one, with how Twilight was treating him in Episode 1), from when she was taken under Celestia's wing as her personal student to when she was sent to Ponyville. This doesn't really suggest she'd have had much opportunity to get comfortable with the idea that adult ponies have sex, get over it, let alone that her family does (which is usually one of the hardest sexual acknowledgements for teenagers to make).
tl;dr (edited): Tentative agreement that maybe she was not upset about the romance, but I still don't think Twilight would casually talk about sex, for reasons.
Okay, I refuse to believe Celestia is suddenly a tyrannical, violent bitch conveniently for this scenario only, she is definitely fucking with our protagonist. Although it would be amusing to see what she would do if this new Cadence got pregnant, then she found out the truth if she really is a twat all around.
When you spell it like this, it's pronounced "free-can". What you're looking for is " freakin' ", or at least, I've never heard anyone say it like the former.
And you misspelled "teats" again.
2755226
Yeah, if I had any complaint about this chapter, it'd be Celestia being really out of character. Though I suppose no more so than Cadance.
Well... This was certainly different!
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/086/e/d/fluttershy_blushing_hug_by_yanoda-d4u4gkf.png
I am not gonna lie...
I feel somewhat jealous and most envious of our protagonist here...
Damnit! You just made my fetish here ten times worse! Damn you for your erotic pony smut!
Damn you for such enthralling storytelling!
Damn you for making me feel such feels!
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/342/5/f/rarity_pout_by_regolithx-d4f78xj.png
Ugh... Now I am most curious on how it would feel to... You know...
Only as a younger Luna...
Bloody this fandom and ponies. They drive me to imagine myself as Luna and...
Eugh!
2755177
We definitely know some very different teenagers, the teenage girls that I know always shock me with how willingly and enthusiastically they talk about sex.
2755226
I too smell a Trollestia...
I wonder if she could tell right away that her (in this story) bitchy niece was acting differently.
2755343
I suppose we must. This is still her brother and foalsitter we're talking about, but it's not like I haven't pointed that out before.
So I'm taking this into "agreed to disagree" territory about now.
I think Tia figured "Shining Troubles" right from the start all things considered. Although if her student ever connects the dots for Celestia, she will do a fast 180 turn and...
2755343
You two have a point here. It's not like Celestia wouldn't have noticed the changed demeanor and terrible attempts at lying, unless she's comically stupid. Also the smell, which Shining Armor mentions later. It's obvious from his reaction that not showering that particular scent off is very unusual for Cadance.
Then again, cartoon logic is a good hoofwave for all kinds of plot holes.
I got distracted there. Back to reading!
Now I want to eat bacon.
Well that's turning out pretty great, I'm lovin' it so far
Ermahgerd, dis is ehmehzin'! Good job, can't believe the high-quality of this fic!
......
I suddenly have the unrelenting urge for it to be tomorrow night already....
....
... meh....
This is interesting phsycological developments. Way to go Celestia, make it completely and totally odd for him to admit what has happened, good job
This will biting Cadance in the ass.
Good im in love with the story of this
2755814
With the little sister part i can't help but think they are going to "find out" it's twilight or cadence "himself".
2755814
And the strange thing is that it'll probably be true and he got someone in trouble because of it.
Although I'm more worried about why didn't he ask if it was the pony who did the switching and not the outsider. I mean he could ask what happens if said if the pony forces the outsider to trade places with them, would the pony be in big trouble instead?
"suppose"
"vagina"
"given"
"make"
Pronoun disagreement, Featherfoot is both male and female in this sentence.
"such such", is this a term I am not familiar with?
Twilight, learn to speak Equestrian!
I get the feeling an "on" should be in here.
Goodbye more man cards and so much for not liking horse vagina; congratulations, you just gained a new fetish!
Little jab at your other story I see. Cause on second thought, I doubt he feels bad.
NO! You only are allowed to do that if you get off as well.
fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/p480x480/923123_471634799590895_1545293897_n.jpg
Even God commands it! Shining committed a sin and you are praising him for it, NO! You don't leave someone hanging like that. Bad Shining, that is a very bad Shining, you act like a dog, you get treated like one.
2755320
I don't see the issue with wanting to experience things at all. Though, I will admit I have never held the "sane" card for long, and I have some eccentric wants. But who really wouldn't want to know what sex feels like for both genders, or for other creatures. Did I just jump into a weird sexual fetish boat?
2754866
Cause Twisted Spectrum dislikes you...?
2754937
Shining did not get his wife off though, he was a bit selfish in bed.
If she ain't happy, you ain't happy.
Here I am reading pony sex and I can hear the kids out back talking about playing as vampires and zombies. I feel slightly guilty and awkward.
20 bits says that the original Cadance had gone to Celestia for help on opening that portal in the first place, and now Celestia is just messing with the poor little human all for her own amusement.
20bits more says she was laughing her flank off as soon as 'Cadance' left her throne room.
2755383share2aware.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/cartoon_logic_by_jaxxxxxxxxxx-d4ouj6p.jpg
2756185 I'm not taking that bet. That's a sucker's bet.
2756185 I call
Just lay back and think of the Crystal Empire...
2754866 Wow Female cloper for some reason i never thought they would exist.
Praise the Sun dammit!
Also welp, that's it, so begins the waiting game before he is caught...and executed apparently, so yea know, fun times ahead so he might as well enjoy the whole loving husband thing while he can. :D
Huzzah, room for development into something more substantial and interesting! Whether it's your intention or not, I agree with something someone else wrote - I'd love to see this turn into a full story, even if it's not updated often, and is prioritised after Five Score.
I don't know if this has been thought through, or if you'd explain it differently, but to me it isn't as though they've merely switched bodies (as in he actually physically is cadence, he's stuck in her body) but they've morphed into one another - their own bodies changed shape. His actions now could have grisly consequences if he makes it home and what I suggested is true. Wouldn't explain his immediate grasp of the language, but then he should've had the same competence when performing magic. I think I'm looking at this far too deeply
2757429no, im a guy. althogh, id like to be a girl if that counts
2757863
What about the portal in Equestria Girls?
"magic is OP celestia pls nerf"
My mind scrambles for an answer, “...well, you just didn’t let me finish! Ah ha, see, it was Gum Drop’s father's... brother's.... nephew's... cousin's... cat’s former owner’s... friend’s... next door neighbor's... lab partner’s... prom date’s... former roommate’s... little sister! That’s who told of coming from this other world.”
yup, there's no way in heaven that this will backfire in a brilliant explosion
And now I feel like switching genders, just to see what it feels like to be a female for a day.
I personally want to apologize for all those errors that everyone saw, I promise it won't happen again! ...Even though it probably will.
2760088
2755320
Ha, you guys and your strange dreams. I have never thought about this, nope, not not even once .
...dammit, women are so friggin' lucky.
Sunday night? Does that mean it's coming out past midnight tonight or before midnight on the 23rd?
2763530
Tomorrow (Sunday) night.
About 24 hours from this post.
2763616 Oh well. That's alright with me. It will at least reduce the wait between Royal Duties and Five Score. Keep up the good work!
2755177 ... Clearly you haven't seen the new generation.
Please, there are some teens who are casual about it.
I should know, some of my colleges in high school were like that.
2760721 ... You glorious basterd...
And here, my fic sits on standby, yet no update comes hither...
Damnit...