Chapters Next
Close
Not So Minty Fresh Morning1,685 words
Out of Synch4,573 words

Not So Minty Fresh Morning

My name is Minuette; I am a resident of Canterlot at 5444 Topaz Lane. I am a unicorn and my special talent is precise measurement of time. I have lived in Canterlot for exactly 18 years, 3 months, 1 week, 4 days, 6 hours, 26 minutes and 34 seconds at the time of this writing. I attended Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns as a direct result of my ability to precisely calculate the thaumatic energy I needed to do anything, allowing me to do more with less magical exertion. I graduated from there 9 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 22 hours and 4 minutes ago as of this writing.

At 9:03 pm last night, I went to bed. At 5:58 am, I woke up... and I was someone else.

-------------------------------------------------

Sleepy... why am I so sleepy?

I know I passed out early last night; college is draining, even more so when you get near the end and everything starts to feel down to the wire. But, still, I shouldn’t be this tired; actually, what time is it any-

9:03:23 in the morning....

The hell?

Where did that come from? And why do I feel it’s right? Actually, better question: Why do I even care? It’s nine in the morning, today is one of the few days that I don’t have to do anything or get up by a certain time; I’d rather be lazy, that’s more rewarding and easier.

No, have to get up; late, so behind schedule!

Schedule? Since when the hell did I ever have a schedule? For me, that might as well have been a four letter word; I tried it once, and it didn’t stick. Especially when it came to homework and what I needed to do for it. Last minute works for me; I can be lazy, it’s a free country.

Get up!

“Gah!” That hurt, like actually hurt!

What the hell was going on? Since when did I have this stupid drive to get out of bed before ten? And why did my voice sound so different? Actually, now that I think about it, everything feels different; like, what was up with my hands, and what’s that on feeling on my head? I reached up and found out two things: One, my fingers were gone; two, I now had a horn.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

I stumbled out of my bed, only half coherent as I hit the floor with a thud. There were two conflicting sets of instincts telling me how to stand, bipedal and quadrupedal; both equally familiar and equally foreign at the same. I didn’t know what to do, and- once my brain actually started to focus- things just went from bad to worse for my day.

I had hooves, I had hooves! And I was blue?! What the hell was going on; if I actually did drugs, I would have chalked it up to them, but I didn’t have an easy out like that.

Mirror, I needed to find a mirror.

No! I AM LATE! I AM LATE!

“SHUT! UP!” Who was I talking to? Who was talking to me?! Am I going crazy? It would certainly explain why I had hooves instead of hands... or feet for that matter.

No, not crazy! I can’t be crazy; that’s just something I say online to explain my stupidity; it’s not real!

Mirror, where’s a mirror; mirror will make sense.

Fighting two sets of memories that I could only barely make sense of, I staggered toward where I somehow knew the bathroom was, bouncing off walls on the way. Walking was one thing, walking straight would have to hold off until I had a single, damn clue what was going on.

The door, however, was in no mood to cooperate with me.

Knobs! HOW DO YOU TURN A KNOB WITH HOOVES?!

I tried to lift my... hooves up to turn it, but I ended up flat on my face; that wasn’t going to work, which probably should have been obvious, now that I thought about it, but I was trying to make sense of having hooves and being blue... maybe I really was going crazy.

No, don’t think like that! Don’t think like that! I can’t think like that or I’ll never figure this mess out. I pushed myself up, shaking my head to clear it and focusing on the knob again. I did have a horn... did I have magic?

No, that was just stupid; magic was sleight of hand and smoke and mirrors. What the hell was I thinking?

Of course I have magic! What is wrong with me?!

There it was again, that voice, berating me. Or myself berating myself? Why couldn’t I tell the difference anymore? What was going on; who the hell was that voice!?

Knob! Need knob turn! Focus, focus on the problem and figure all that out later! I can’t do anything else until then!

But what do I do? I can’t figure out what to do!

I started to hit my head against the door, pounding on it in frustration; it didn’t do all that much, really, just hurt the horn that shouldn’t have been there.

JUST USE MAGIC! IT’S BASIC TELEKINESIS! I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!

“MAGIC! ISN’T! REAL!” I hit my head against the door a few more times, but mostly in an effort to shut that damnable voice up for just a moment longer.

I am a unicorn! I use magic every day! This doesn’t make any sense!

“I’m not a unicorn! Unicorns are mythology! I am a human! I’m not a unicorn, not a unicorn!”

What the buck is a ‘human’! I’m not a human! I’m a pony! A unicorn!

“I’m not a- wait... ‘pony’?” The voice was saying something again, I think I heard it mention being late again, but I couldn’t be bothered to care right now. I needed to get in; I had a very sinking feeling I knew what was going on, and I really, really, hoped that I was wrong.

I considered trying to kick the door down at one point, but I could barely walk straight like this and had already fallen on my face not too long ago. I didn’t trust myself against a door when standing was an effort in and of itself. But there had to be a way in, there just had to; but how did you turn a knob without hands?!

What are hands?! JUST USE MAGIC!!!

“I SAID SHUT UP!” That voice wasn’t making this any easier, screwing up my concentration when it came to figuring this whole thing out, and I still needed to figure out how to do this. WITHOUT MAGIC!

Nothing from the voice that time; not sure if that fact that I was able to argue a voice in my head into submission was a good or a bad thing for my sanity, but at least I had a moment of peace and quiet for figuring this out. Okay, okay, no hands to work with; lifting both my... hooves off the ground will just end with me flat on my face again; no magic... I really don’t have a lot of options to work with here.

In desperation, I started pushed at the side of the knob with my face (or muzzle, since I think that’s what I was feeling now, as opposed to a normal face) and trying to turn it that way. Of course, that didn’t work; that door’s always been stubborn, but I need a mirror! I need... I need... other bathroom!

This was easier, though the dogs were starting to bark at me since, well, I’m an animal now.

I’M A PONY! NOT AN ANIMAL!

“It’s the same, damned thing! Now, for the last time, SHUT UP!” I staggered through the kitchen, giving the cabinet with the glassware in it a wide berth out of habit. Wait, was that supposed to be there? I didn’t own things like that.

I shook my head; the voice may not be speaking up, but it was still messing with my head. Of course it was supposed to be there; it might not have been mine, but that was because it was my mom’s.

I don’t live with my parents!

“YES I DO! WHY WON’T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND STAY SHUT UP!” The dogs were going full-on nuts now, but I couldn’t be bothered to care anymore, I needed to see. I needed to see right now!

Even that wasn’t easy; the sink alone was a few inches taller than me now; why was I so small?

Why is everything so big?

I ignored the voice that time, but I was more awake and thinking about half a bit clearer. And, thankfully, the toilet lid was an easy shut even with hooves.

I hopped onto it, then- with a deep breath- I put both of the... forehooves onto the sink and swung myself over to it. It wasn’t easy, holding my entire body up with just two stubby legs-

MY LEGS AREN’T STUBBY! I’m a large pony!

-but I managed. If nothing else, the body I was stuck with was lighter than my own; it made things a bit easier for this little stunt.

Panting a bit, and focusing for the moment, I finally gritted my new teeth (which actually seemed to be a lot better than my old ones), and finally got a good look in the mirror.

Blue, all blue; everything was so... so... blue. The body was blue, the eyes were blue, the mane was striped with blue and white; and even the white seemed to have a blue tinge to it. And speaking of that mane... it had a look very reminiscent of a certain brand of toothpaste.

“...Colgate?”

My NAME is Minuette!

Luckily, I think the dogs’ barking drowned out most of my screaming after that.

1,224 views

Chapters Next

Comments ( 20 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 20
- Newest First
- Oldest First

ShackledTime

ShackledTime #1 · May 28th, 2013 · · ·

And another one joins the party.
Good first chapter, waiting patiently for more.

Sergiovan

Sergiovan #2 · May 28th, 2013 · · ·

Will read later! Is this going to be 'cannon'? If so, can you please put it in the description maybe?

SaintAbsol

SaintAbsol #3 · May 28th, 2013 · · ·

2642853
I have no idea... I joined the group because a friend asked me to and wrote this since I like Minuette. I don't know what they're stance on how canon this is actually is.

Masterweaver

Masterweaver #4 · May 28th, 2013 · · ·

The stance is this: If you interact with a canon story, you are canon. If you're a mane six story, you are automatically canon. If for some reason you have to be dropped, you are related but not canon.

Otherwise you're in the Main folder.

nanashi_jones

nanashi_jones #5 · May 28th, 2013 · · ·

Off to a great start! I like the tension and excitement here.

Looking forward to the rest!

average braeburn enjoyer

average braeburn enjoyer #6 · May 28th, 2013 · · ·

...wow. This is absolutely brilliant. You managed to capture all the feelings someone would get in this situation and transfer them to text perfectly. Bravo, my good sir. Bravo.

ThatMrSomeGuy