Chapter 20 - Happy
Isn't it strange that the stars don’t shine no more now since you’re gone?
Isn't it strange that we can’t look back and see just what went wrong?
Oh, hey! You're still here? Huh, I thought you would've left by now. No worries, just uhhh...let me see here...Ummm, where did we leave off again? Ah! I remember.
I didn't move an inch as the jumbled mass of mismatched body parts hovered in front of me, grinning from ear to ear with that damn cheeky smile of his. He rambled on about how his return meant Equestria's reign of harmony had reached it's last hour yadda yadda yadda, you know, typical bad guy monologuing. He was the Syndrome to my Mr.Incredible. Anyway, he started to cackle, twirling about in the air but when he found that I had remained silent throughout our entire encounter and gave me a quizzical, if not, scrutinizing look. He scoffed.
"Bah and I thought you'd be some fun." His mad smirk appeared again as he slowly descended a single talon to my head. "Oh well, maybe we can change that." The sharp end of his claw only just brushed against my skin and his smile widened as he watched for a reaction, looking me up and down. I just stood there with my arms folded. Seconds went by. He frowned and tried again. This time, he waited a whole minute. He seemed confused for a moment but his frustration took over quickly. He began jabbing his finger into my face more vigorously, desperate for a reaction. I held in a chuckle. I don't care who Discord was. He used magic and I, if history tells us anything, am the bane of magic. John De Lancie over here, of course, was unaware of this, so, I went for it.
On his last jab, I grabbed his talon with as much of a grip I could muster. He flinched very noticeably at this and looked as if he had the intent of teleporting. A flash of horror crossed his jagged features when he realised he couldn't. His crimson eyes locked on my own and I grinned maliciously. Now, back on Earth, I liked this guy but here? Well, one doesn't take the idea of his home turning up-side-down and his friends becoming opposites of themselves. He wasn't reformed yet. Sorry, KP.
"Alright, Dizzy. Let's have some fun, then."
I clenched my knuckles hard. Yanked him towards me and I punched the motherfucker right in the-
Oh. Are we not here yet? Bugger. Sorry about that, mate. Just let me...find...where we...are...is this it?
"My child arrived just the other day. He came to the world in the usual way but there were trains to catch and bills to pay. He learned to walk while I was away and he was talkin' 'fore I knew and as he grew, he said; 'I'm gonna be like you, Dad, ya know I'm gonna be like you..."
No one was out tonight. Rather nopony was out tonight. That isn't to say there were griffins and minatours in the place tonight either, just...trying to use correct terminology more of the time. Anyway. That isn't to say it wasn't a good turnout. Sure, there was barely anypony here but a particular friend of mine always said 'quality over quantity'. In fact, that same pony was here tonight. Sitting at her table, alone if not for Rose sitting beside her. I don't know what the relationship was there between the two but they obviously weren't strangers, they'd get into little talks here and there but only for a short while before they turned their attention back to me on the humble little stage I had rigged up all those years ago. Did my good to see that because I could tell you just how bad of an actual musician I was. Couldn't sing for shit, I reckon but that never stopped any of the girls saying otherwise. Bless 'em. If I had my way, I'd have a real full-fledged muso up here but...well, bits don't just grow out in the woods. Oh, you know this song? Cool. We can sing together.
It wasn't too long before the night started to really roll down. By the end of it, it was just her out in the tables. Her blindingly white coat stood out in the dim lighting. I was confused, really. Out of all of them, she was the most busy. Probably why she became so successful. The fact that it was just the two of us alone in the bakery made singing...ironically more comfortable. I never broke eye contact with her and neither she, me. She never stopped smiling either and I bet I didn't aswell. To Hell with it. Picking myself up from my stool, I strummed away the few chords and blurted out the last verse as I sauntered up to her table. She giggled behind a hoof at this and began swaying her head rhythmically with the song. Her violet curls swished back and forth and I could hear her humming through her closed muzzle. I plopped myself down on the table and with no small level of piss taken, sang the last chorus. Egged on by the fact she was singing with me.
"And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon..."
"Little boy blue and the man in the moon..."
"When ya comin' home, son? I don't know when..."
But we'll get together then.
"Dad. We're gonna have a good time th-"
Heh. Oh, Rarity. Blasted unicorn didn't even let me finish the damn song. All I needed was time for one last syllable but no, she just had to give into impulse. She yanked me down by my shirt with both hooves and shut me up by all but forcing her soft lips to push against my own-
Seriously, again? God. Fuck it. Let me just read the last chapter again real quick...duh duh duh...OH! Wow, feels like forever ago...Okay. For realzies this time.
Growl.
Oh no. I clenched my eyelids down harder and rolled my head away from the noise. Nothing was going to say I wasn't going to sleep in today.
Growl.
Well played. I'm awake now. Happy? Now fuck off.
GROWL.
I swear to whatever God doesn't have anything better to do than hear my whiny bitching that I will end you, you furry bastard.
Silence.
Given up, have you? Cheers, ma-
My inner sarcastic ramblings were cut short as I felt something soft against the palm of my hand. I blinked my eyes open and looked down to see what had been prodding at me. At first I wanted to say it was just Fluttershy, just the little darling trying to wake me up and making sure I was okay after everything that had happened but the reality is...less adorable. Nudging at my hand with her snout was the same grizzly brown bear that had saved me the night before. I stared down at her for a while, just watching her as she rolled my hand around her head, as if she was trying to force me into petting her. Sometimes it feels as if everything in this damn world is docile and cuddly. I guess that's Equestria for you.
I let a smile come to my face and decided to humour her, gently caressing her rough yet oddly velvety fur. She gave a look I couldn't quite describe with her tiny black, shiny eyes but she let out a relaxed grumble through her teeth at my touch, so I assumed I was doing something right. She flicked her head to the side suddenly as something else came into my view. A single, small yellow hoof gently rubbed at the folds of pelt in the bear's neck. I followed it up to it's haunch then to it's shoulder and up to the long flowing, pink mane that concealed the youthful face of the same tiny pegasus filly. Sweet little Fluttershy stood there alive and well, a graceful smile on her lips as she petted the bear alongside me. Her head turned and she caught my gaze. I stared into that single pool of light blue for all but few moments as she simply did the same, just looking into my own eyes. Time seemed to slow down for us, just to let a moment be shared by man and pony, two beings that should have never come into contact with eachother and yet, they did. We did. Probably not under the most convenient or pleasant of circumstances but it happened. Sometimes I can't get over that when I think too much on it.
The edge of Fluttershy's right eye peaked cautiously from her mane. I leaned over to her. She didn't flinch or move to back away as I took the broad side of her long pink locks and brushed it aside. Both of her sparkling irises never broke away from me as I rolled it back behind her right ear. I had to suppress a chuckle when it just didn't want to do that but instead settled for just laying limply alongside her face, leaving both her eyes unhidden.
"You should keep it like that."
I think my heart exploded when her cheeks turned a very noticeable shade of pink at that. I gave her a quick scratch behind the ear, something that seemed to calm her right down if her sudden blissful expression was anything to go by. It melted into one of slight disappointment when I stopped and stood up from my spot on the couch. Now that was just cute.
I noticed that all the animals from the previous night were all accounted for, none had thought to leave during the night or first thing in the morning. Maybe they did but just didn't want to due to Fluttershy's presence. I walked into the kitchen, I had a job to do and I wasn't about to do it on an empty stomach. Some buttered bread and an apple should do me just fine for now. I told 'Shy that she could help herself to whatever she wanted for breakfast but try and keep it to a minimum if she decided to share food with any of the animals. I could already feel my stomach protest to the prospect of that damn rabbit getting into the pantry.
Fluttershy watched me as I approached the door, I could feel it. She kept her distance, of course and I couldn't blame her. I turned around and the look she gave me...I'd never seen that look before. It was a mess of emotions compressed into one. I think understanding shined above them all, however. She was an enigma, that 'Shy. I gave her a firm nod and went to reach for the doorknob but was stopped by that bear's feral roar. It wasn't particularly loud but it did the trick of catching my attention. She came sauntering up through her house on all fours and when she came up to me, her head swivelled on her neck to stare up into my eyes. It only lasted a second before she turned back and nudged the door open with an outstretched paw.
There it lay. In the same wretched and crumpled heap I had left it rotting in.
"I'll be back in a minute, Flutters."
That's how I ended up in the woods with Shiva. Yes, I decided to name the bear during the walk. It was damn mission getting the body this far into the tree-line but we managed. She had taken the initiative and carried the bastard on her back for good portion of the time. Eventually, after the third time it fell off and both of us thinking that she carry it in her mouth was probably the most disgusting idea ever conceived, I slung it's limp corpse over my shoulder and trudged off again into the forest. I had time to think during the walk. I never got any answers about it. Rationalisation kicked in and I convinced that whatever I was carrying wasn't some urban legend back on Earth. The animals here, not just in the cottage but in the woods, they all had a certain...act in the presence of it. Maybe that was just them detecting a predator but does a ferret turn in terror in the face of a dead lion? I could make out the curious gazes of the less feral woodland critters of the Everfree. They behaved...I can hardly describe it.
It was as if they were the crying towns folk, shouting and hollering in an ample crowd of outraged citizens at a band of pirates that had been plundering there home for far too long. Does that make sense? They all huddled out but instead of forming a mob, they just kept to themselves, each animal in it's respective vantage point where it could watch Shiva and I lug the beast along the path. It was deathly silent apart from the stray cicada and chirping. The smell was starting to nauseate me, it was time to be done with this.
Did I mention the shovel I had brought along? Rusty old thing never had a purpose before today. I stopped and flung it's body to the floor once I had found, what I thought was a befitting place to bury it. Shiva stopped me with a low growl. She was standing ahead of me, giving me a look that she highly disapproved of what I was doing. Her head flicked back, gesturing for me to follow onwards. I complied, more out of confusion than simple obedience. I slugged the fucker over my should again and walked after her.
It was a long walk through the forest that day, might've been an hour, may have been ten minutes but finally, Shiva had stopped. The air around the area she had brought felt cold and there was a thickness to it that I couldn't describe. The whole clearing felt...wrong. Shiva sat on her haunches and gestured to the ground in front of her. The soil even looked wrong. That's when I saw it. It was hidden by the grass but you could see it plain as day nonetheless, something like that simply be concealed away. A dark, gaping hole decorated the clearing. What looked like what used to be a pristine ladder lead down into it's depths. I gave her one long-lasting look, I knew what she wanted.
You'd think I'd take the opportunity to say something. Spout some last profane insult in my hate for this creature, being the vulgar person I am. Perhaps mock it and claim my vengeance, my victory, my overcoming of it's attempts to break me but no. Not a thought crossed my mind, not a word left my lips. All I did was swing it's body over my shoulder, I didn't even give it's face one last glance before I threw it into the darkness below.
Shiva had moved over to the side of the clearing. A large stone sat beside her as she patted it with a paw. I knew what she had in mind. She wanted to bury it. Bury it all and be done with it. I complied.
It took no small amount of effort from both of us but we managed to get the stone over the hole. It looked kind of awkward, just a random rock in the middle of a grassy clearing dead-smack in the centre of the Everfree forest. I can only hope nothing will try and move it. After all, no one every tried to move Uluru, right? I'm sorry, are you familiar with that? It's this giant rock back in Australia. It's just kinda...there. Standing in the desert. Kind of weird.
Bet you forgot I was an Aussie, ay, mate?
Anyway, I could ramble on about every detail of the venture me and the bear went through that morning but what would be the point? We walked through the woods, we got the job done and we headed back to the cottage. That was it and frankly, I'd like to forget everything about it all. Stuff like that's a bit much for a kid. I'd never killed anything bigger than a cockroach before. Ahh, I'm getting off-track.
Oh, that morning.
Shiva and I had just crossed the tree-line again and I could see the back of the cottage. I just smiled and gave her the underside of her muzzle a quick rub. If I wasn't tired before after just getting up, I sure-as-Hell was nakid now. I swung the door open and stepped inside, the bear following closely behind. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with her or any of the other animals. I guess I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. Though, I had to admit, having Shiva around as a pet-no, a friend, was pretty cool. I mean, who else can say they have a bear for a mate? Cleveland Brown?
"Fluttershy?" I rounded the corner into the lounge room, where she sat there looking very unsure of what to do. About what?
"Oh, good, you're back." She skipped over to me. Not in a cute, happy way. More of a frightened, protection-seeking way but that's her for you.
"What's up?"
"S-somepony's at the door."
Now that was weird. I gave a quick glance to the clock overlooking the kitchen, it was barely ten in the morning. I walked up to the door and wrapped my fingers around the handle. I swear, if it's Lyra again-
"FLUTTERSHY!!"
It was all a blur. Barely a second went by once I had opened the door before something, screeching out the tiny pegasus' name, all but forced itself into the house at break-neck speeds in a blinding hue of white. When all my senses came back to me, my gaze was set into the cottage, where a full y grown pegasus mare cradled 'Shy in a vice grip like none I'd ever seen. Well, that made sense, her coat was white but I couldn't help but notice it was more of a cream than anything else. Her sleek and neatly combed mane was a dark shade of cyan. I couldn't make out her cutie mark from the angle. 'Shy's face turned purple in the pony's hug.
"Oh, honey...I'm so happy you're safe."
Threw her choking, she managed to speak. "M-mom?"
"Shhh, it's okay. Mommy's here. We're going home, Fluttershy."
That's when I heard the loud exhale of breath from behind me. Standing there was, respectively, a stallion. He raised a hoof up and collapsed into the door frame, leaning all his weight on his leg. He closed his eyes as he took in a shaky breath, a smile that spoke monuments relief adorned his grizzled features. His own coat was a stark orange and his short, unkempt mane held a blending colour of scarlet.
"Thank Celestia..."
His eyes opened and I could see the glassiness in them, shining pools of green that threatened to shed tears were locked onto the other two ponies in the room. All the animals huddled collectively into the furthest corner of the cottage. So much was happening so quickly, I needed to slow down and even though this question felt stupid, what else could I have said? "Are you...Fluttershy's parents?"
His gaze snapped to me and I could tell he was suppressing the urge flinch at the sight of me. I turned around and found the mare giving me the same kind of look, there was uncertainty and curiosity behind those dark brown eyes of hers.
"It's...it's you." Her voice was smooth and melodic but not timid and reserved like her daughter's. Though I didn't quite like the undertone of lack of trust in it. To be fair, I couldn't blame her. "You're the alien, aren't you? The one is the newspaper."
Oh, here we go. I forgot they were out-of-towners. "Yeah. Name's Kyle."
"I suppose you're the one who sent the letter." The stallion spoke.
"That I am...I wasn't really sure what else to do."
'Shy now sat on her haunches, her cheeks were squished hard against her jaw by her mother's hooves. "Oh, sweetie. I'm never letting you out of my sight again, do you hear me? Oh, you have no idea how scared you had everyone! What happened?" She let go and held her loosely by her sides.
"W-well, I got...Ummm...I got bullied again an-"
"Those rotten boys! I swear I'm gonna feed them their teeth if this happens again!"
"A-and Rainbow Dash helped me."
"Oh, she's a darling, isn't she? She wouldn't stop looking for you, you know? Always fussing and blaming herself for your disappearance-" That's when she caught Fluttershy's look. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry."
She sniffed. "I-I...I didn't mean to fall. I tried to fly! I really did but...I couldn't..."
"Shh, it's okay."
"I thought...I thought..." Her teary eyes slowly looked up to me. "...H-he saved m-me."
I felt like an idiot. I just awkwardly stood there, silently, just watching the two of them and then she had to go and say that. What could I say? I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout, to tell her I didn't. I didn't save her, I just got in the way of her destiny! I probably broke her, what she saw last night no child needed to ever see but I just clammed up. I haven't been this speechless since the day I landed in Equestria.
"He saved you?"
"He caught me...I was falling and he caught me."
The mare looked up to face me, she spoke exponential amounts of gratitude with her eyes. I would've said something then, maybe brush it off our of modesty but was cut short by a firm pat on the back by the stallion behind me.
"Thankyou, miss Kyle. Thankyou for saving our daughter." It was a weird sentence but I understood it nonetheless...Wait, hang on-
"There's no way we'll ever be able to repay you, ma'am." 'Shy's mum said. Okay, what the fuck? 'Ma'am'? I'm fifteen!...Why is that what I'm upset about?!
Even Fluttershy looked absolutely perplexed at her parents' mistake. "Ummm, Mom? Kyle's a-"
"I'm not a girl."
The two exchanged a very embarrassed look. "Oh, I'm sorry, it was...It's the hair, really."
I felt the back of head. It had certainly gotten much longer over the past few months. The ends of my hairs came to about my shoulder-blades. Longest I've ever grown it. Too bad there's no metal to head-bang to in Equestria. "Ah, I gotcha."
I watched her as her eyes carefully took in the whole cottage. I had no idea what she was thinking up until she spotted the huge jumbled mass of wings and fur in the corner. "You...sure do have a lot of pets."
I laughed. "Oh, they're not mine." I grinned down at the little pegasus. "'Shy here decided it was a good idea to let 'em all in out of the rain last night." She shrinked back into her mother's hold at that. Darling thing.
"Hmm." She hummed thoughtfully for a moment. She looked down at her. "Would you like to go home, Fluttershy?"
Her eyes flickered to the mare and then to me before switching back to her. "Now?"
"Well..." The mare seemed confused. "Yes."
"Can I...Can I say goodbye first?"
Now that...I think my heart just melted.
She gave another silent look to the stallion. Both seemed quite unsure of themselves and of the situation. That didn't stop the little filly though. Slowly, she unhooked herself from her mother's grip and trotted over to me. I just smiled and plopped myself down on one knee as she came up to me. As soon as she got in reach, she stretched her hooves out to me, she hesitated for only a second before mustering up the courage to lunge up and hook her forelegs around my abdomen.
I guess this was it. She was leaving and who the Hell knows when I'll see her again, if I see her again. I think she knew that too. How long had it been? Two days? Three? I wanted her to know. To know what I did and for her to hate me for it but I just couldn't. How would I even go about explaining that? How I knew what her destiny was, how I knew close-to-everything about her. I didn't know what to do and I felt selfish because of that.
I gently returned the hug, any harder and I might've broken down into tears. I'm surprised I didn't when her hooves clutched harder around me. Moments ticked by and I knew that now was the time for her to go.
"Alright, 'Shy. Ya best be off." I leaned back to smile down at her, she just stared back, frowning. I chuckled half-heartedly. "Go on, it's time for you to go home. You heard your mum, everyone's worried 'boutcha." I took her chin gingerly in my fingers. "I'm glad I met you, Fluttershy."
"Me too." She muttered softly.
I groaned with a smirk. "Come on now, let's try to avoid the water-works, ay?" I stood up and gave her ears a quick scratch. She hummed with a content smile. It was a real half-assed goodbye but I wasn't just about to make a scene in front of her parents and really, what was there to say?
The three ponies each respectively walked out the door and stopped to face me standing in the archway with the edge of the door in my grip. The mother was the first to speak.
"You know, you're nothing like ponies make you out to be."
"Yeah, I've heard that before."
"Tell me." The father began. "Is there anyway we can repay you?"
I thought about it but what was there to think about? "No. Really. The fact that she's safe is all I can ask for."
The mother giggled. "You seem quite attached." I rubbed the back of my neck and just grinned bashfully. This was starting to get really dragged out.
Fluttershy stepped up from between them and gave a small wave up at me while grinning thinly. "Goodbye, Kyle." With that, all of them turned and headed down the path onto the road.
"Catya, 'Shy." I returned but I wasn't sure if she heard me. I never stopped smiling, watching them trot away as I slowly closed the door to the outside world. Well, guess I better get sorted for wor-
"Fluttershy!"
I stopped.
"You got your cutie mark!"
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Kyle's interaction with Fluttershy is very adorable in this chapter and I'm glad that she reunited with her parents and earned her cutie mark on the same day. I also enjoyed the teasers such as his interaction with Discord and future Rarity's liking towards in his song segment, though I'm a little bit irritated that Kyle flashforward the events and then remembered the right one when stuff was getting good.
Hmm...about twelve weeks give or take. What? No, I didn't go back to the last chapter cause the opening paragraphs confused me! That's crazy town!
Nope. In fact I've been giving him this voice the entire time
As I said, deviations are as nothing in the face of destiny.
So...any chance we can see how things play out with Discord? Cause I would really, really like to see that.
5358333 Dude you have no idea how bad that accent was.
Team Four Star are epic and all, and I'm glad that they made him bring up another city other than that tourist-trap cesspit, Sydney, mentioned my favourite NRL team AND included a mention of the floods that went through my area, but that accent was all kinds of WRONG.
ESPECIALLY for a Queenslander, or Space Queenslander in his case.
5358387 I'm completely aware of that, but I literally don't have any other reference, except maybe the original voice actor for Jeice.
Loving your avatar, by the way
Need more of this. I can't believe it's been 12 weeks already. Feels like two.
5358417 Of course you do. It's Mako Mankanshoku. She be like the offspring of Deadpool and Pinkie Pie.
Also, Watch the movie Australia, starring Hugh Jackman, and you'll have a standard of what we call a heavy Aussie accent.
Even in the many X-men movies he still has it, faintly.
Oh and Chris Hemsworth in Thor. He didn't even bother trying to hide it.
...
I'm a Marvel fan.
...
...
...
I hate Spiderman, though.
5358458 Spiderman isn't Marvel, Spiderman is Sony. Movies I mean
5358474 I go by who made them originally. Kind of like how I will ALWAYS call Star Wars a Lucas Arts product, even though Disney bought it.
...
I remain somewhat cautious about episode VII.
They'll either kill it completely or refine the epicness into something more.
I suppose the question is, now what? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
You....11-12 weeks has pass..a new chapter just update....this is..
i.imgur.com/SUZk3wK.gif
5358430 I know right?
I listened to Gladiator - Earth on a loop while reading Kyle and Fluttershy part their ways
, Great chapter! Can't wait for more! 
I hope it's the right cutie mark
You tease you! at first I'm like "this is going to be one awesome beat down!" Then mood whiplash to "oh me likey some rarity romance" the another whiplash to "d'awww fluttershy's so cute". Oh and just for fun I imagin kyle sounding like Shamus Wong from Tracey Mcbean
Save, oh btw seem the dream. is the future will change (maybe a vision in time). just like other. i wonder....I think the dream is coming next to about Cadence and Twilight - Pinkie - Rainbow dash, fluttershy, and chrysalis seem i don't know about that.
Princess Luna and Celestia and...about Zecora - Gilda then still don't know about that too.
I don't think she got her mark when she walked out that home, I rather think she got it last night already, but neither he, nor her parents payed much attention to her mark, it does kind of resemble her hair in color, so all of them probably just overlooked it.
At least I would like to think that, since it was yesterday she discovered her affinity and communication skills with animals.
Oh and please don't take on Discord too hard, I mean come on, he has only twisted everyone because he wanted to avoid them using the elements. If you had to make sure you won't be imprisoned in stone for an undefined amount of time, he was in that damnable state for over a 1000 years, while being conscious no less, you'd go for the same strategy since it's how you work anyways as a chaos spirit. Try to sympathize more with him, standing rigid for 1000 years doesn't do well on your mental health, and considering he was already pretty crazy before, that says a lot.
He also isn't exactly like Q. Very similar yes, but Discord for example didn't kill anypony. He despises killing, because death is one of the highest form of harmony, namely stagnation.
Dead pony means you can't do anything to the pony, or with the pony = utterly boring.
Not to mention he just doesn't have that kind of ill will. Even when twisting them, he provides them with food (popcorn, chocolate rain, all sorts of candy)
Since he can't do nothing against your character anyway, I'd try talking to him, rather then just punching his teeth out. It makes your character also go into the Gary Stu direction, which isn't pleasant.
Also, please don't fall into the 'irresistible human has pony harem' cliche.
I can understand if the character has problems with deciding for one mare, possibly date 2 at the same time in secret or date them in an array.
I can see that Fluttershy will be more likely family to him, hopefully (at least that's the vibe I got here). But even so, don't go about and let him screw with too many girls at once, especially avoid making a herd or something bigger then 3 people at once. He can/should have romances with 2-3 mares, on different intimate levels and preferably not at the same time, but in the end settling for just one is advised, else it will fall into the above mentioned cliche.
great chapter btw
5369430 Oh, Kotor, you flatter me with the time you give
I wish I could lay your concerns to rest, to just let you in on the whole plan but a comment section is nothing if it isn't conspicuous and spoilers are not what I want to dish out
But to give your little "Is this shit a Harem fic?" question a less-than-satisfactory answer...His name's Kyle, not Lero.
5369484
umm...i will say..i like harem.
5358486 Those who say Spider-man isn't Marvel are LOSING THEIR WAY!
5369484 Satisfied, also this is anything but shit, it's gold! But you gotta be careful not to tarnish the damn thing, hence my concerns about herds and harems, it's just too widely spread, too common and just annoying when seen so many times already.
Harem fics are o.k under certain conditions:
- It must contain extensive comedy.
- The main character is displeased having the mares after him, and put into the role of the screw over, so much that he tries to avoid contact if possible.
- The situation escalates to the implications of "sex is immediate" at most times, until it's interrupted by something before the main act can even take place (in other words great amounts of teasing, but then cancel the immediate intercourse).
- Even if the main character is desired by a few mares, or desires them himself, in the end things work to a point that he is more interested in one of them, or a completely different mare, and finally settles the competition between the mares by deciding for only one of them.
Good examples are:
-> To Run a Hundred Miles in The Heat
//Has strong humor, lots of running and escaping, character is desired by a lot of mares during heat season, character has actually eyes for only one mare but is 'appalled' to do her during the season because he fears she is too mind altered to call it real love, gets steamy at times while still feeling comical, some sad moments here and there, has clop in the end and it's skip-able.
I really suggest it, it's a great read.
-> The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine
//Has strong humor, though its a bit too crud and over the top for me, again character is pushed unwillingly in the situations, never gets to far in the act immediate sexual encounters are always interrupted.
I find comedy an important factor in harem fics, it's a 'mood lighter' and compensates for the seriousness of the relationship. For example even if the character has some serious nookie (graphically shown or not -> Teen/Mature tag) with 1 mare in a love triangle, the readers can at least say "ah let him have his fun with her, but he is gonna get his butt kicked by her relatives or the other mare who is wooing him".
If I read a harem story, especially if it's a human who draws the attention of multiple mares, more specifically almost all the mane 6 on different levels in some cases, then I just think of it as silly, despite the author giving the situation no humor at all, and tries so hard to make the intimate relationships serious.
When they are forming 'herds' it's always like: "Everything works out just fine, no complications at all, were all buck buddies now" which just makes me face palm and groan every time I see it. There cannot be any harmony, if you have multiply lovers desiring the same object of affection at once.
There is a very good story tackling this issue: "Not The Hero" This story is actually a homage on several tropes that bother the author regarding HiE fics, many that make the human main character appear Gary Stu-ish.
In it Discord is the actual main character, the "villain hero" you might say, and explains among other things, why 'herds/harems' especially the more bigger in size, cannot sustain themselves for long without having disharmonious qualities, that will cause them to collapse eventually.
Yet despite that obviousity, Discord has several hundreds of years experience with it, the human main character, the actual "villian-in-hero-disguise" ridiculously manages to court all the mane six with surprising ease, and managed to coax them into a herd without them having any problems in their relationship.
The reason being, because they all LOVE their kind hero human so much, they would never fight over their desires with him, ever! It's one of those situations where they are fawning over the hero where it seems so ludicrous, that you think they OOC and mind controlled.
Which in this story Discord discovers to be the case, among a few other atrocities subtly caused by this "human".
Don't want to spoil to much, better read it yourself, but this is a story that really displayes why serious harem/herd fics are so ridiculous, especially when involving a human, because the synergy and acting of the characters just feels incredibly unnatural and improbable.
5376168 Spiderman sucks balls. The only good to come from his series are some epic villains, like Green Goblin and Venom.
Not once mate, where you at? WA? NSW? Queensland?
Me? I live in SA
Well... shit
5392893 Lived in Perth all me life
5393074 Nice man, I have a mate who lives in Perth.
My name's Julian btw, nice to meet you! *extends hand in friendly manner*
Noooo! My worst enemy! A cliffhanger!
I need more! Y u cliffhanger.