Cirrus
Mornings are hell, plain and simple. First a restless night with fleeting nightmares robbed me of good sleep, then an alarm that is much too loud, much too early culminating into a faceplant on the floor in a tangled mess of sheets. To top it off, we are out of coffee and my roommate used the last of the milk for his cereal. Days don’t start much better than this.
I stared at my roommate, Jessie, from across the table and gave him the best scowl I could, but as usual his impassive, stoic face showed no sign of recognition.
“We seem to be out of milk and coffee.”
“It is your turn to go shopping this week,” he said in a bland monotone without looking up from his newspaper.
“I call bull on that,” I said with growing agitation in my voice.
“Check the calendar on the fridge. It is your turn.” he responded coolly.
I grumbled and checked the calendar and lo and behold it was my turn to buy groceries. Fuck. I hate it when he’s right. You see, Jessie is the sort of person who is exceptionally organized, clean, and stoic. It comes from being a military brat growing up and his stint in the service. I found his personality to be both infuriating and admirable. I’d try to jerk at his chain now and again to get a reaction, but so far little if anything could bring an emotion to his face other than seriousness.
“Anything interesting in the news today?” I asked, groping around in a feeble attempt at small talk.
“Nothing that you didn’t already know. People dying, crying and lying,” he blandly responded.
“So I see,” I paused before adding, “I’m going to run down to Starbucks and get my caffeine fix, do you want anything?”
“I’ll come with you. I could stand for a jolt.”
I fiddled around the house looking for my keys while responding, “I’m not sure why you bother, you are still grumpy before and after your morning joe, so why waste your money?”
“I like the flavor of coffee. The caffeine does nothing for me.”
A clink of metal indicated I struck gold as I fished out my keys, complete with a Derpy key fob. I subconsciously rubbed Derpy’s likeness as flashes of light and sound rushed before my eyes. I didn’t understand much of it, but I could make out a female’s voice pleading for mercy and evil, maniacal laughter.
“So, are we going to go, or are you just going to stand there?” Jessie deadpanned.
I shook my head of the strange memory and filed out to my beat-up car with Jessie in tow. I got in, turned the key and with a whine the motor refused to start. A few cuss words, prayers to any divine who’d listen to me and several attempts later the engine coughed and wheezed to life and I put Anne in gear. Jessie always thought of my anthropomorphism of my car was strange, but like my other quirks, he never bothered or teased me about them. Despite his demeanor, I do enjoy Jessie’s company. Yes, he is as interesting to talk to as a brick and just as hard, but we had lived in harmony for several years now, putting up with each other’s shit and had not managed to kill or maim each other, at least not yet.
As usual the drive-through was insanely long, so we opted to park and walk inside. I sighed as another, albeit not as long, line awaited us inside. I periodically poked my phone as Jessie stood much too straight next to me. I guess years of military training and drill instruction drills a perfectly straight posture into you at all times. Although I loved to tease him, it must have been hell growing up the way he did with no friends and a family that was cold and distant. Granted I am not the paragon of idyllic living, growing up as an orphan and bouncing within the foster care system, but still I had emotions as opposed to my Vulcan-like friend. I wonder if his emotionless state actually comes from Vulcan-like mental training and maybe he has telepathic abilities. Or maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself and he really is just my boring roommate with no deep secrets.
I finally reached the counter as a cute barista took our orders, coffee as back as hell and strong as death for Jessie and mocha with foam for me. Jessie raised his eyebrow at my clearly calorie-laden and sweet drink but said nothing. A few minutes found us with our sweet prizes and a table by the window as we watched the people bustle about. I sipped my chilled drink and almost instantly felt better as the coffee hit my system, almost erasing the trouble of the morning. As per usual, Jessie’s cup was half empty (or full, depending on how you look at it), but no discernible change in his countenance could be seen. Even after all this time, I still couldn’t understand the enigma of Jessie. My musing left the two of us in silence only punctuated by the din of the room. I wracked my brain for a topic of conversation for a minute then said,
“I would seem your and my birthday is tonight.”
“Yep.”
“Doing anything special?”
“Nope.”
“Wanna come with me to a rave? They claim to have the best dubstep in town. It’ll be fun!”
“No thanks.”
“So you are just going to stay home on your 25th birthday? You’re now a quarter of a century old. It is a momentous event!”
“Not really. Just another day. I hope to get some sleep without you, for once.”
“It wouldn’t hurt you to get out now and again.”
“Let’s just say that your idea and my idea of a good time do not coincide. I’m not interested.”
“You are a regular stick-in-the-mud. Suit yourself.”
After our momentous conversation, we headed off to home to pick up our lunches and stuff for work. Jessie was off to work as foreman on a construction site somewhere on the east side of the city. Given his military experience, I was surprised to learn that he wasn’t off recruiting or training new recruits or something, but he claimed that it got old after a while. I sighed as I looked at my lunch and tie, reminding me that I was off to my boring bureaucratic desk job. Don’t get me wrong; the pay, hours and workload are reasonably agreeable, but still boring as hell with the same drudgery day in and day out.
My buzzed mood slowly eroded as construction coupled with rush hour traffic made getting to work a living hell with several unexpected attempts at my life were nearly thwarted by my hand. I swear some days that the universe is conspiring against me and seeing exactly how much crap I’ll put up with before I break. I’ve got news for you, universe, today is not that day.
I managed to arrive with five minutes to spare as I looked at the elevator with despair as an ‘out of order’ sign was placed on it. I sighed and slowly trudged up the stairs and arrived on the top floor out of breath as I cursed whoever decided it was a good idea for me to work up here, when I slowly realized it was me who asked for a transfer up here, so I could have a cubicle with a window. I glanced at my watch and seeing I had a minute before I was late, I sprinted down the hall and punched into the time clock without a moment to spare.
My boss poked his head in, “You should be proud of yourself, Joseph. This is the first time all week you’ve been here on time. I would recommend throwing you a party or something, except for the fact that you are supposed to be here on time, EVERYDAY.”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“You better be. I don’t want excuses, I want results. I want you here on time, or you will find yourself jobless. Do I make myself clear?”
“Crystal clear, sir.”
I sighed as I sat down before my computer and got to work. Several memos, emails and a pointless meeting later found me at a late lunch with a boring PBJ, a small bag of baby carrots, a bag of chips and a can of pop. Two of my coworkers decided to join me, us all having been released from the torturous meeting about the same time. One I never remembered the name of, but I knew she had an amazing green thumb and grew all sorts of veggies and fruits in her prize winning garden. The other I nicknamed ‘Derpy’ after the wall eyed pegasus of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fame due to her clumsiness, bubbly personality, habit of having strange facial expressions when frustrated, and love of MLP, although her real name was Jo Ann.
“Hey, Joseph. What’s going on with you?” Derpy asked.
“Nothing much. Just getting though today and anticipating tonight,” I replied.
“What’s going down tonight?”
“I’m turning twenty-five and I’m going to a rave down on the south side.”
“No way! I’m turning twenty-five today too!”
“You don’t say?”
“I do say. Sounds like a night of fun! Can I come? I was just planning on getting drunk and watching a movie marathon.”
“Sure thing! Hey Carrot Top, wanna join us? It’ll be fun, fun, fun!”
“No thanks. I’ll celebrate my twenty-fifth romantically with my husband. Wait, did you just call me Carrot Top?”
“No, at least I don’t think so. Anyway, sorry if I did.”
“It’s OK. The name has a nice ring to it unlike my actual name of Organa Fugenbaur.”
“Remember you married into that name. Maybe you ought to get a name change,” I teased.
“My husband’s name suits me just fine. I don’t like the name you gave me that much, thank you very much. Anyways, I have to return to work. Happy birthday and see you two featherbrains tomorrow.”
I stared at her with an inquisitive tilt of my head at the strange insult, and with that, Organa left the lunch room.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what marathon were you going to watch?”
“Oh, the My Little Pony episodes. I can still say that they are one of the best TV shows I’ve ever watched, even with that screwed up ending.”
“Yeah, what was with that? Discord showing his true colors wasn’t too big of a stretch, but his complete takeover of Equestria, his bloody rise to power and leaving the whole show on a gigantic cliffhanger really left a sour taste in my mouth.”
“I know, right?” she then added with flourish, “Bronies and pegisisters for life, brohoof!” and I promptly bumped her outstretched fist as we smiled and shared a laugh that brought a couple of strange stares from nearby tables. I ignored them and gave her a friendly hug,
“By Celestia, Derpy, where would I be without you? I swear you are the only reason I put up with this job.”
She blushed before adding, “Ditto. So you’re coming around about seven?”
“Yes indeed. See you at your place.”
“Alright see you then, Blossom, er Joseph.”
Quitting time didn’t seem to come soon enough. As soon as the clock struck five, I rushed out of the office and raced to my car to beat traffic home. I stopped by and nabbed some groceries, a little heavy on the fresh fruit and veggies, since they were on sale and with practically no meat since it was a bit pricey and honestly looked unappetizing. I also was overwhelmed with an insatiable craving for celery and picked up a whole mess of the stuff. Usually, I only rarely cook it and occasionally eat it raw, but I figured some healthy food might be nice for a change instead of the loads of junk food that dominate our panty. I also picked up some sugar cubes for some reason, even though I’m not a serious tea drinker.
After putting the foodstuffs away I found my favorite clubbing outfit and took a shower before heading out. I let the water cascade over me to release the stress of the day and let my mind wander. Suddenly, I came overtaken with a sudden itch on my leg. I looked down, expecting to see a bug bite or rash, but instead I made a curious discovery: the faint outline of a pair of flowers on my thigh. I stared at them for the longest time, wondering how and why these strange marks appeared on my rear.
Strange, distinct marks on my flank. Could it be? No, I must be day dreaming. It couldn’t be, could it? A cutie mark? But how? Why? Who’s cutie mark is this? I stared at my thigh for a few minutes and when no answer came to me I decided that it must be nerves and imagination. Apparently I needed a break tonight more than I realized.
I left the shower, got dressed and had a bite to eat before going out. I warmed up some leftover spaghetti and waited for the microwave to cook it as I thought more about my cutie mark. The longer I thought about it, the more it failed to make sense. Although Jessie knew of my love for My Little Pony, he never pranked or teased me about it, or about anything for that matter. He was still the same boring roommate I’d always known him to be. Derpy, although we shared a love for MLP and she had pranked me from time to time, she had no opportunity to bring this on me, unless I was drugged or fell asleep on the job. My job is boring, but honestly, I never have slept at work. So where could this have come from?
A ding from the microwave pulled me out of my reverie and a game of hot hands later found me at the table with my prize of warm spaghetti. I took a bite and found it was disgusting and unpalatable. I thought about when I made it and when a date didn’t come to mind I decided it must be old and tossed the whole mess down the sink and grabbed one of the apples I bought and ate that instead. It was so amazingly delicious, so I had to have another.
With my hunger satiated, I was ready for a night of the best dubstep in the city and a psudeo-date with Derpy. Things were looking up indeed. However, I couldn’t shake the ominous feeling of dread with my new found cutie mark and its implications, but enough worrying and more partying! To quote the ponies, tonight was going to be the best night ever!
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Yes unfortunately i believe things are going a bit too quickly here...
The same thing was going on with another story as well.
I know you want to jump into the interesting parts like confrontations and actually turning into a pony but writing a story is like building a skyscraper. The first few chapters are the base, they aren't too pretty or extravagant but if you have a great foundation you can put all kinds of stuff on top.
Here's what i'll do. im going to favourite this and "follow" it for awhile and come back once you have decided whether or not to either "fix" it or re-write it. feel free to quote this comment now but once you've made your decision i would absolutely love it if you quoted this again ^_^
Good luck!
yum yum yum I ate that up.
and second
This is the only stuff Ive ever read that was as stilted as my own attempts at writing. Im still gonna read it though. Its like nibling burnt turkey. There are pleasant surprises, but mostly you end up unsatisfied. Flesh it out.
And then everyone was ponies.
And then there were deep character flaws, and discussions of banging. Because Winningverse.
The first part was really good. I like how Jessie is nothing like Cloud Kicker, but the connections are still obvious.
The second part is a little rushed, especially the conversation between Joseph and his co-workers.
All in all, not bad, though.