then your like me

another good chapter.

Wait a second... the author... you... YOU...
STOP STALKING ME!

Moar please

good show old boy.

I HAVE NO FRECKIN IDEA if he is a full pony or a anthro?!

yes yes yes yes more

2555776

their is a picture I modeled Nightmare Moon After I can edit the chapter and place it in the authors notes.

2556103 please do so
also, I found something that might be interesting for either of them to find
the Alcubierre drive

very impressive, hope next chapter comes soon, i really love this idea

Yup, still errors in abundance.

I want to also point out that...

"Oh. My. Goddess!" I-I couldn't fathom what I was seeing, the weight on my chest were - were Breasts! Very Large Breasts! 'No. No. No. No this can't be right I can't be female! Is this some sort of cruel joke!? Why? Why is this happening to me!?'

Yeah, breasts aren't a pronoun, and neither is large. Capitalization is not needed. I'd suggest finding another 2-3 folks willing to help and who have the time to spare to also help edit this story.

More characters with alternate personality!

I want to thank Trot for being a great editor.

Obviously Trot isn't such a 'great' editor, because there are still many errors.
Advice? Get a better editor. All of this doesn't mean I dislike the story, in fact I do like it.

2567166

Well I found one all I got to do is pm him my chapters i hope they will be fixed soon

2563773
I agree with this :U. Getting another editor aside from myself could help because I could miss something that the other editor could see. The fact that I have a very short attention span and horrible eyesight really doesn't help, so... yeah :I.

2565808
.... I apologize for being a normal human being and missing mistakes.

2568190

Were all human. Were all human

Well except me. I'm Jesus whom is not human. Hahahahahaha

2568190>>2568235
Yeah, I personally don't have much of an attemption span beyond who I'm already editing for on top of my writing. Can get maybe a page at a time when I edit things.

And, oh...

We're all human. We're all human.
Well, except for me. I'm Jesus, whom is not human. Hahahahahaha

Could. Not. Resist. And oh, blasphemy!

2568190 Well, you missed quite a few obvious mistakes, my advice is to just properly scan the story a few times to make sure you catch every mistake! I by no means am an editor myself, but there are just a few things that were painfully obvious.

Also, keep this story going I am enjoying it.

Ok, I'm tracking it. Could be fun.

This is gonna be good

Where is update?

2576985

Working on four different fics at the same time plus editor is helping me edit first two chapters. But if I work hard and not get distracted possibly new chapter tomorrow.

you are not a man but a woman! enjoy

love the story, when do you plan updating

2579244

With four fics being written at the same time plus my editor doing his thing maybe before Saturday I hope.

Shits not easy man specially when you use a damn phone to write fics.

woah, ok ill be waiting for it, and besides, i know that feel bro, i usually have to work on a galaxy ace smartphone, you mister have get my respect on that

Being set up to become the baddie... seems legit as far as death and rebirth go.

2579271 wait four? it only sais that you have three

2579858

I haven't submitted my fic A Flower In Command. Which is a sidestory for the five score divided by four group.

2579905 staring who?

2579910

A U.S. Marine turning into Fleur de Lis.

This seems like it could turn into a great story. It's just... proofreaders are needed.

Is this a part of some greater collaboration or something? I swear I've seen other stories like this other than yours floating around the site...

As for the story itself... It feels like it could really be something great, but the main character (whose name I don't remember if it's even ever been mentioned) really needs to a) get a more defined personality (I honestly can't tell you anything about the character other than 'he/she did good things when he/she was "alive" and that he/she's apparently prone to hissy fits), b) talk like a human being (the syntax and vocabulary he/she uses is very awkward, sometimes sounding overly formal, grandiose, or even antiquated and other times sounding incredibly basic and even childish), and c) needs to act more like a believable human being (while a freak out of some kind is most certainly in order given his/her scenario, he/she falls a little bit too fast into the anger/despair/rebellion phase and it feels awkward and a little too much like he/she has accepted the truth of his/her scenario too readily. You may want to look up the five stages of grief or something akin to this to get a good idea. More likely than not, the first thing that would happen, rather than railing against the heavens would be some sort of denial or some derivative of such, which would last for a fair while.)

It's an excellent premise, but your main character needs some severe work done, as does your dialogue and grammar.

Also, I have to ask... why anthro ponies? I have nothing against them personally, but what does making them anthro add to the story?

2579923 25.media.tumblr.com/0dcb44c9e1c84ff8ecc167408934dc79/tumblr_mesac4nkKD1ro2c5ro1_500.jpg

EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!

I need more updats of this

so when is this getting updated?

I don't think she should get punished.
I mean, she may look like Nightmare Moon but she really isn't, just a look alike.
May e they'll understand if they hear her out...

Updates?

2637221 yher

So, is this dead? Or will you be updating soon? I humbly await the next update

Me Gusta

newdubstep.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Y-U-No-Update-300x202.jpg

2553606
Nigga you ignorant!

Its actually a good story. Personally the new Nightmare Moon doesn't need to be punished . Beside Princess Celestia with her magic should discover that this new Nightmare Moon is the not the same Moon that her sister was . What remain of Moon was purged from Luna, and that is what was used to rebuild the new Moon's body, it was mindless energy. Beside she could be given a new name Midnight or something similar. Beside of the type of pony she is, she would be considered and should be considered Luna's twin sister, and thus a princess.

"Is...is this really my voice?" I asked myself shakily. Quickly, I clamped my hands over my mouth again when I heard my voice once more. My eyes wide with shock.

cdn.thatssotrue.com/2012/7/5/thatssotrue_14087_1341544774.gif

Question! Does Nightmare Moon reincarnated look exactly like in the cover? Or are her boobs smaller? Coz those things on the cover are overkill maaaan!

HAHAHAHAHA!!! He Freaks the fuck out I think that is hilarious!

8124010
What? Freaking out is a perfectly rational response!