As I fly through the streets of the city, my eyes see nothing but ruin. The sky above me is blood red and black lightning bolts pierce the sky randomly. Below me humans and ponies are walking the broken concrete searching for any scrap of food they could find. All the while, humans and ponies wearing red jacks patrol the streets, ready to take down anyone dumb enough to challenge their god king.
I have no control over where I’m going or where I’m headed. It’s as if my mind and body are on auto pilot. My mind is also fuzzy as to what is going on or what I’m even doing. When did all this happen?
While flying past thirty story pillars of black crystal I spot something in the square below. My body immediately starts to descend downward and gently land on all fours. In the center of the square is Sombra, standing atop a pile of charred corpses.
My eyes widen with shock at this sight.
“Steve!” I shout towards the creature on top of the body pile, “What in Celestia’s name have you done?!”
Sombra, who had been facing away from me, turns his head with a sinister grin on his face.
“They challenged my rule.” he said in his deep evil voice. “They broke my laws. Those who go against my will must die.”
I can feel all four of my legs shaking with fear as I stare at the monster that had once been my best friend.
“I knew I should have shot you back at the apartment.” I say. “What happened to not harming any more innocent people Steve? You promised to make this city a safe haven for ponies and humans to live together. You’ve turned Chicago into Hell.
Without warning I feel my body become encased with magic as I am yanked ever closer to Sombra’s smokey green eyes. He stares into my eyes as if he is peering into my very soul. I do the same, yet the only emotions I can read from them are anger and hatred.
“I took you and your brother into my mansion with a kindness,” he snarls as he hops down from the pile of bodies and placed me on top. From the top of the pile I can see him grin toothfully at me. “Perhaps you would rather be kindle for my bonfire. Tis a shame you chose to speak out against your king. All well, at least you will finally get to see your precious mommy and daddy again. I’m sure they will be very proud that their son took up a life of crime to avenge their deaths, dragging poor little Rumble into the mix as well.”
As I stare dumbfounded at my former friend I see his horn start to spark. An intense heat overcomes my body and I begin to flail my legs up in the sky. The world starts to spin around as me as a strong odor of… french toast… fills my nose?
I open my eyes only to find a white pegasus hovering over my new bed with a breakfast tray in his hooves.
“Morning Thunder!” shouts a familiar voice. “I knew bringing you your breakfast would finally get you to wake up.”
I take a few moments to fully grasp is happening. It seems I’ve just woken from a nightmare only to stumble into yet another dream. I stare the pegasus flying with a look of utter disbelief.
“Rumb…Rudy” I say loudly with my jaw wide open. “You're a pony… and your… fla… fla…”
“Flying.” the pony says with a smile. “Yeah, I woke up really early this morning and spent it teaching myself how out in the back yard. I didn't think I could actually pick it up so quickly. I know you don’t like me cursing big brother, but this is fucking awesome.”
I stretch out my hand from under my bed to scold him for using naughty language like that only to be met with yet another surprise. Instead of my normal human hand and arm, I saw in from of me was a dark grey hoof and leg. This causes me to move back and stumble off of the bed, my belly landing smack dab on the floor.
“Och!” I yell.
“Oh come on Thunder!” Rumble says as he flies a little towards me and my fully equine body. “You knew last night was would be your last day as a human being. We both knew it was coming and I got to say that I’m already in heaven with this body. I can’t wait to show all friends at school.”
“Is everything all right in their Rumble?” asks a deep voice outside the room.
I turn my head too see Steve (Still in his Sombra attire) trot into the room with a confused look on my face. His eyes weren’t green at the moment which I leaned meant he wasn’t being sinister at the moment. However, as a smug and devious grin crosses his face has he was ready to tell a joke, his eyes turn back to their evil smocking selves.
“Well it looks like somepony got up on the wrong side of the bed today.” he says sarcastically as I roll my eyes at him. “Take it from me, it’s going to take a few hours for you to get adjusted to your new body. Rumble here was a really fast learner. He woke up at about seven o’clock this morning, asked the kitchen staff for breakfast, and then taught himself not only to walk but to fly all in the span of two hours. However, I can already tell we're going to have to work to get you up to speed with the rest of us. Why don’t I use my magic to help you eat breakfast.”
A peace of french toast floats in towards my face and stops right by my mouth.
“Open wide Thunder.” Sombra says with a wicked grin. “Here comes the train.”
I want to curse him off so bad but my little bro is still in the room so I have to find another way to vent my anger.
“Very funny Steve.” I say sarcastically with a small hint of annoyance. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how you two are taking this so well. Listen, I know these are apparently our real bodies, even if my mind is still in human mode.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” Ruble says blushing “I’m still really scared of flying too high up. I freak out everytime.”
“And take it from me, it took me awhile to re-teach myself how to walk on stairs with four legs, but today I like trotting up thirty flights.”
I give him a quizative look. “My God. You really are King Sombra.”
He blinks at me and tilts his head in confusion. “What makes you say that?”
I give him the pony equivalent of a shrug. “It’’s an old joke the fandom came up with.”
He looks at me. “What’s the joke?”
“I’ll tell you about it later man. Just help me down to the dining area so I can eat my breakfast without you playing chu-chu.”
He snickers. “Ok man, Rumble why don’t you go check on Antonio. Just try not to be too showy with your wings. Believe me, I’m the one with the magic powers and even I’m jealous.”
Rumble finally floats down to the ground and gives a bow. “As you wish your wickedness.” He then turns his head to me as he starts trotting out of the room. “Catch you later Thunder.”
As I watch my brother leave I start thinking to myself.
“This is going to be one hell of an unjustment.”
-----------
After helping David -or Thunderlane as I’ve been getting the habit of calling him to help him ‘unjust’ to his life- finish his breakfast, I spent the rest of my day chilling out. Like Thunder, I am still getting used to this whole ‘pony’ thing. If I’m really am going to take over an entire city and turn it into my own pony empire, I’m going to need to get better acquainted with my body.
So I alternate between helping between teaching David how too walk, playing Dead Rising 6 with Antonio, and barking orders to my new henchmen. I figure tomorrow will be more of the same though eventually I’m going to have to start plotting. Deep down, I know I am strong enough to pull this whole thing off, but I still don’t know the full extent of my power.
Last night after the speech I read up on my character on all my known abilities, most of which I’ve already been able to pull off. However, there still one spell of interest that I had yet to learn. How to alter one's memories.
If I could learn how to do that, I could make sure that word of my eventual take over won’t reach the outside world. Once the government learns of about the ponies and what they are capable of, they will try everything they can to contain any threat we may pose.
For now, I don’t want to worry about that shit. Right now I just want to sit back and relax with my best friend and our brothers.
It’s almost sunset, and me, Antonio, Rumble and a couple of my men are watching Thunderlane learn how to fly.
And fail miserably…
For the past two hours, we watched him crash into bushes, trees, and even the walls of the mansion. At one point, I even saw him knock over one of my dad’s Greek statues. At least his blunders were helping me get rid of all that Greek stuff. Eventually I’m going to have to transmute all those statues and sculptures of me. Maybe even decorate them with crystals!
We all watch Thunder crash into the ground one more time into a pile of dirt. By now a good chunk of the yard is covered with imprints of the dark grey pegasus. Rumble flutters over to where he is laying and extends a hoof.
“Need any help bro?” he asks.
Thunder mones and puts a hoof out and slowly gets himself up. “I’m fine.” he says in a groggy voice. “But I think I’m done for today. Anyone want to play the new Halo?”
Antonio walks over to him and shakes his head. “You won’t be able to use the controller. Steve says you two don’t have any magic so I don’t think the buttons are going to work.”
“Oh.” is all Thunderlane can say, apparently too dazed from all the collisions he took to sully in the disappointment of never being able to game again. I guess the power of flight comes with a very steep price.
Rumble floats a little bit closer to Antonio and jabs his shoulder with his hoof. “You wanna watch the The Dark Knight Trilogy tonight? Your brother’s cronies just finished recovering the last of me and Thunder’s stuff from our apartment.”
Antonio stares up at him. “You told me if I watch you fly around the mansion you would check Death Note with me.”
“I’m not into anime dude.” replies Rumble.
“Believe me, you’re gonna love this series,” replies Antonio with a spark in his eyes. “Besides, we’ve already seen those movies a dozen times together.”
Rumble crosses his hooves and stares down at Antonio with disappointment. “Well we’ve never watched them back to back.”
“Ok.” replies Antonio. “I’ll watch them with you tomorrow, but you're going to have too watch the whole series at some point. We’ll start with six episodes a night. Steve, David, you guys wanna join?”
I nod my head. “You’ve wanted me to see this series for a long time now. I think I can do that that. Let me just see if I can find a revival spell for Thunderlane. I think he might have a concussion or something.”
We all turn to David who is now starting at his hooves.
“I think I just grew an extra hoof guys.” he says.
The two of us laugh. After zapping David a couple of times I am able to help clear his pain with the power of Tylenol. Then the four of us watch this Death Note show. What I see kinda freaks me out. I don’t know why, but even though the main protagonist seems to have some good intentions, all his speeches about becoming god made him sound like a raging lunatic. What bothers me the most is how unfazed he is about killing innocent people who get in his way. Maybe the scariest part is that despite some of his revolting qualities the character of Light Yagami reminds me a little too much of myself.
Not bad. This seems like a good start for the new arc (Finally getting out of the "Tattoo on my ass, I'm a pony maybe?" stage.).
I did find a few errors (mainly spelling) but I'm not going to put them here for fear of cluttering up the comment section.
3450381 I'm sure plenty of others will do that for you. But if it helps improve the story, then I won't get mad. I hope Chaotic got most of them thought. But yes, now we are in the adjustment stage. Right now David/Thunder is having the most trouble (Despite being the only brony of the bunch.)
Next chapter I wanna get some more brotherly boding in with Sombra and Antonio as well as set the stage for his "operation".
3450381 Yeah. A few errors do get by me. Mostly because Google docs doesn't show them as errors. For some reason I can't see the errors as well when it's dark text on white background as when it's white text on dark background. Don't know why... I'll be TRYING to get onto fixing all of these as soon as possible real life willing. Medical stuff with family really takes it out of you when it's a constant thing...
I think some of them happen when transferring the text from the Google doc to here. I found a few errors that weren't there when I finished my edits. More of Fimfic's derping up...
3450408
Alright then, here we go! As I said before, there were a few errors, but I've definitely seen worse. Well done, author & editor alike.
In order of appearance:
(Jacks short for jackets/uniforms? Fine as-is, just wondering.)
... I can’t wait to show all my friends at school.”
...turn back to their evil
smockingmocking selves.(Eyeball smocks FTW. "Those bullies at work smock me constantly. I am forced to shoulder my fluffy burden and soldier on through the flood of garments. At the end of the day, I return to my abode and strip myself of the horrid vestments, always dreading the next load.")
(You may want to consider using a comma before "though" ['tis not major].)
...to
sully incover the disappointment of never being able to game again. (? I'm assuming he would usually hide such emotions, but it's hard to tell just from the context. I guess it could be more of a"...the collisions he took did nothing to sully the disappointment of never ..." sort of thing, but I dunno. Maybe it's more: "...apparently too dazed ... to grasp the reality of..."? In any case, definitely needs revision.)...Thunder and I's stuff... (Dialogue. As such it doesn't really matter [and he is a kid...])
(Wait, what? I thought he was using magic? Consider clarification. Speaking of which, the tense for that last paragraph feels a bit off.
MY HEADACHE HEALING SPELL IS OF PRECISELY THE SAME EFFECTIVENESS AS THIS MEDICINE IN PARTICULAR .)
That's everything, I think. Probably not all of them, but these are the ones I saw. Glad to be of service.
Definitely looking forward to moar chapters.
3450476
I've had family have chronic problems before. You have my sympathies.
Good way to enter into the second arc, I must say.
Also, the dream that Thunderlane had seemed really ominous. Let's hope that Sombra doesn't get to that stage though.
Good chapter and I can't wait for the next one.
~ Super-Brony12
Yay! New chapter!
Looks solid, with plenty of humorous moments; loved the whole "decorate with CRYSTALS!" and the stairs joke (I suspect Sombra was a closet slinky-collector) The beginning was genuinely creepy too. I look forward to what will transpire later
Is Steve going to take over the Sear's Tower just so he can climb all the stairs whenever he wants? It felt like a good way to start part 2, short, but enjoyable. I am wondering how long it will take one of them to remember that they've already met two other ponies, and if Chicago is the new Cloudsdale, groundbound ponies need not apply.
3453132 I wan't planning on haveing anymore "Cannon" ponies other than spoiler
However, I could squeeze Fliter and Cloud chaser somewhere in the story again if you guys want. I didn't wan't too hog too many ponies in my side story. However, I don't think there are too many side fics with those too (witch I find surprising.) I'll think about it though.
3454191 actually the word is "canon" not "cannon". I'm not sure the etymology but I do know "canon" is the official version of a fiction series and "cannon" is a weapon.
Also
*insert River Song saying "spoilers"*
3455491 Not too be rude or anything but I'd rather you point out the spelling mistakes in the story itself. It's no secret I'm a bad speller, and it's most likely all my comments including this one will have at least one if not more errors in them. Tis a curse, but I am stubborn SOB.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter man. I'll try and get the next one up soon.
3455661 well I didn't see any, or I would have. Congratulations.