Fluttershy has never been happier. She is happily married, and feels she is surely living the good life. She waits each night for the return of her husband, ever so patiently...
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I know this story won't be everyone's cup of tea. I worte it, and it's the kind of story I wouldn't normally touch with a ten foot pole. However, once it entered my head, I knew I had to write it.
If you hate this concept, feel free to tell me. If you hate the story, or how it made you feel. Feel free to tell me. I won't even bother to have a flame shield up for this one, I deserve the burns.
Read at your own risk. And I'm sorry for making this.
...excuse me while I have a good cry, now.
Chapters (1)
Not bad, I think it's very well written but I found it rather hard to care about whoever Fluttershy's hubby was. I think it's because he isn't named, probably.
Still, I find it weird that you would write this, if you don't like the genre
Not judging or anything, I just think it's weird
2489997 I found it hard to care about anything that happened
You know what? I didn't hate this.
It's dark, it's sad and the "reveal" was a little obvious but it's not a bad story. You get thumbs up for the effort.
hmmm. Well I didn't hate it. I know you can do better though then this. I have seen you write some Dark fics and those are way better. But this one was still ok. I noticed alot of grammer issues. Normally I don't mind them but this is more then even I have most times, and that is saying something. It was an ok dark story.
At first I thought Discord was her husband.
Dammit. I cried. ;_; Buckets.
I'm not familiar with your other works, but I really enjoyed this. It was dark, depressing, and kind of familiar, but that's not a bad thing. I liked it, so keep up the good work.
good story, sad, dark, and sadly maybe a little too much filled with realism.
P.S. the Discord part absolutely broke my heart
2583894
Yup. That is more or less exactly what happened. Few additional details, though.
The unicorn 'stallion' was abusive, kept her more or less separate from her friends, and drove most of her animals away. Also, bit of a gap between miscarriage and killing her husband.
Yeah. This fic...not happy. It hurt me inside to write it. And I broke down in tears at the Discord part writing it.
2489997
I wrote it because the story appeared in my head,and writing it was the only way to get it out.
That was sad. Yeah.
This made me feel. Im usually a cold-hearted bastard but you sir made me feel...Sadness. Kudos
What happened to her husband?
3464547
I deleted the first reply, as I realized it gave spoilers. However, you should still have a record of it if you get email updates.
Does the song have some sort of origin? Like, is there a melody that goes with it? Or maybe a song on youtube you became inspired from?
6014340
Nope, made it up myself. But I'd imagine sorrowful violin music in the background, along with the occasional creak of a rocking chair.
Well... I.... there are no words...
I enjoyed this.
...
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH ME?!!!
I just don't understand why Angel's soul couldn't move on?
And if it would be ever able to move on?
~Leonzilla
Note to self... No more reading things like this at 1 A.M.
Anyway, excellent story. I absolutely hated it, but it's excellent all the same.
just...just...damn man. That was powerful stuff there.
fluttershy has a mysterious husband?
Okay, this freaked me out a bit. I'm pretty sure that was the objective, though. It sent chills up my spine! Good work!
That was an interesting story. I think it could use a bit of polishing, maybe it tried a bit too hard to be creepy at times. Naming the husband could probably help, and Discord seemed a bit too nice and caring for me. The concept is amazing though, and I enjoyed reading it. Well done, have an upvote.
Wow. This had quite the impact for a story less than 5K words.
The star of this story is clearly the song lyrics. Those were inspired, and conveyed an innocence to an otherwise morbid subject. Bravo. As for a fitting tune, I was able to fit them (with slight modifications) into Erutan's version of the song "Come, Little Children."
Like you, I felt the most emotion during Discord's scenes. His lines might have used a little polish; some of his dialogue with Twilight sounded almost normal, unlike the chaotic trickster we know. That said, I'd believe that an indeterminate amount of time has passed, and he's made more friends who have helped him integrate into society, so the suspension of disbelief is easy. The only scene I thought was not necessary is the re-animation. It didn't really seem to serve a purpose besides making Angel's fate plain, but we would have understood that from the mention of the taxidermy kit and the repeated references to his eyes..
Well done!
Knowing your other references to David Eddings books. Was this partially inspired by Garion's Grandmother (I can't remember her name) and how she kept waiting for her husband?
7051773
No, this most definitely was not in any way inspired by Poledra.
7051781 Not Poledra. His other grandmother. From before Garion was born when they were living on the edge of Algaria
7051785
Oh, her.
Hmm...not an inspiration, but I do see the parallels.
7051813 ok yeah. It just bared some rather strong similarities. A very strong story anyway (I would call it nice or something similar but it is in no way a nice story) well done.
7051819
Thank you.
Was Fluttershy cutting herself , subconsciously? The bit with the blood was the only thing that was confusing enough to be a little jarring.
7135486
It was a Lady Ophelia "Out damn spot" moment.
7135500 I'm not familiar with that. Actually, the whole premise feels weird, that so much time would pass without any of her friends would notice. That they didn't notice that she was pregnant.
Though this things didn't pop out at me until after I had a bit of time to think so I guess that's good?
Wow. That WAS rather dark. Maybe not the best story I should have started with to get acquainted with your writing style, but a good story either way (with one or two minor errors in there—nothing jarring). Way to bring out the feels.
7234811
Thanks.
This isn't actually a story I'm proud of, even if it's been reviewed mostly favorably.
sad story with a warning for readers who have friends and truly make them look so this never happens to them
That was dark. And here I was looking for a funny one shot...
6155558
It couldn’t move on because Fluttershy needed him more than ever.