On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 12 polar bears....with aids....terrible...terrible super aids...

I wanted to call a friend, telling them about how I've been feeling pretty shitty lately. They didn't pick up, but I needed to do something to feel a bit better. That's when I finished my hooch. Half a juice bottle, to be exact. I started to feel the buzz, but it still didn't feel like enough. That's when I decided to call whiskey for help, too. And then I had three shots of vodka. You see, I come from a judgmental family, and that made me scared shitless of people's

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First of all, "The Ponyville Curse" is now completed. Apologies to those for whom this story was 2spoopy.

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1 - I went fishing with my good shoes. I caught myself a barra-boot-a

2 - I bought a universal remote yesterday. Now I am a Master of the Universe.

3 - I kicked a tree today. It barked at me. And then it bit me. The BARK was worse than the bite. Is this one funny? I dunno...

4 - I wished upon a star tonight for somebody to make me a plushie toy of my avatar as my ultimate Christmas gift this year. It didn't come true.

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Now I can suck dick at writing in a fresh year!
Meeester I hope you're proud of me
You're the only reason I suck dick at life, so that one day I can see you in real life

senpaiiiiiii Meeester

Image Source
I've got a bad feeling about this...

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The first chapter of my story for Jake the Army Guy's contest is up. Go check it out, especially since I don't write Discord super often! Or, if it's not your thing you can always wait for the last chapter of Distance Beyond Any Measure on Sunday.

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Anyway, hope you enjoy. And if for some indeterminate (not indeterminant as I learned thanks to google!) reason you want to make a better version for me, I can send you the high quality files. Shoutouts to

• MS Paint for sucking as always
• http://clipart-library.com/ for surprisingly (probably) not giving me any viruses

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So, I'm thinking of rewriting The Wayfarers summery for the coming year. I've been tinkering with it for a while, but I'm thinking of trying something else completely. Maybe something a little more in the vague side? I want the reader to have an idea of what they're getting into, but I also don't want to be so wordy. I don't know. I'm open to suggestions.

For now, though, bed. Swamped from work.

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Y'all better watch out. I have a new story coming on a pretty rad day. The image below is the only hint you all shall have about my lastest word crimes. The tagged story will also be relevant, though not exactly for sequel-prequel-continuity purposes.

Better start getting hype now.

So I'm watching Lavalantula on Syfy and during the ad break...this.

Really? Really?

Did advertisers learn NOTHING from the banned Quiznos ad?

I woke up at 7:45 (raritydespair should be called :despairity:). At this time of year, that is what we call ass o'clock. I had to take the car to the mechanic since I'm the only other person left in the house with their license. I listened to the R&B channel on the way there and it was pretty good. When I got home, I ate leftovers. They were so good! It was fish, almonds, and olives. I found this shit.

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I have had Pinkie Pie's Smile Song stuck in my head all day, and the worst part was that I couldn't sing along because I was at work, where there are other people...

I hope you all choke on it.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~
23:55_8/10/2015

Originally, the first three chapters were meant to by one. However, I was so naive and eager, that I didn't realize how lackluster they were divided. Some have said that there just wasn't enough substance to really hook them. So, I did what I wanted to do from the start. Chapters 1-3 are now a good 9k chapter. I think this might help hook some new readers, but I don't know yet. Let me know what you think if you have an opinion of the matter.

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Okay, so let's just get into it
I broke my computer, so the new chapter is going to be delayed for a while
Can't say until when just yet because I don't have money...
BUT
Get hype for when I can start posting again
Because Chapter 2 of Pull Me Closer is coming with an awesome sex scene
And that isn't even all that's coming soon

I'm participating in the Incest Is Wincest siblings contest this month
So I'll hopefully be posting that soon

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