New Story and Would Love Some Feedback! - I Just Want a Comment

Echo-Web Productions #1 · 3 weeks ago · 1 · ·

Hi everypony!

Firstly, I would like to apologize if I did this wrong, I am not used to groups or embedding or really anything outside of reading and writing stories and I've gone through a few threads to get a grasp of how to do this, but if I did anything wrong, please let me know and I will rectify it!

Now, for the reason for this thread!

With the flurry of MLP Infection AU's, I've spent sometime making my own (I've made 3 total) and now I would like to start fleshing them out into stories and sharing them! This story only has one chapter, with another in the works, but I would like some feedback on it. Is it a good start to the story? Do you see any issues that I overlooked? Would you like to see more?

The idea to join this group came from the singular dislike on my story. I made a blog post about it and as I said there, the dislike doesn't bother me too much! Everypony is entitled to their own opinions and what they enjoy and don't enjoy. The main thing is that I wished to know why they disliked my story. Was it just a matter of personal opinion? Was there issues with the story? With no answers to my questions, I decided to come here and promote it to get feedback!

The feedback would not only help me in my everlasting quest to improve my writing, but also help motivate to continue this story and hopefully eventually release my other AU's and ideas as stories! All comments are appreciated and I thank anyone who just reads my story and may check out my other stories! So, without further ado, I introduce you all to As You Dream, So Too You Shall Become!

(I hope I did this right. Again, apologies if I didn't and please just let me know! )

[Adult story embed hidden]

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