Hello everybody,

On the 4th of March, after reading MLP comic season 10 and things that were done in season 9, including things that were never addressed and explored, I decided to do it justice and started writing the story.

With the story now passing the halfway point, I've decided to give another nudge again since I've not been here for about 2 years now.

Have a good read and any comments are welcome.

ETurmoil Rising

• MLP: FiM
• MLP: Movie
• MLP: Comic
• Adventure
• Mystery

Princess Twilight Sparkle, the new ruler of Equestria, and her friends embark on a grand adventure, discovering unsettling truth about their world, while familiar evil faces are recruited by an ancient darkness.

• Zecora
• Main 6
• Chrysalis
• Tirek
• Grogar

JFT · 550k words  ·  101  11 · 3.7k views

ok I'll take a look

7961182
hope you like it

I'll be honest, it's my 3rd attempt trying to start your story, and the farthest I got back then was 6. Seems like slow and steady is working, and now I'm up to the 4th this time around, so there's that. It's all a pleasant and good read so far like the last tiem, but to be frank, i haven't felt the hook set in yet.

A new amorphous darkness recruiting Chrysalis into its fold seems too similar to what happened with Grogar making underlings of them 3, and at this point, the darkness itself feels rather vague and faceless. Which isn't all too exciting--exciting as an adventure and new force to battle, but not so much enticing as a concept itself.

BTW, where did you go to read the MLP comics?

7962051
I like your criticism

7977112
thanks, but even for my opinions and flaws I point out of it, I still hope you enjoy his story.

7977919
I've read it in parts... it's kind of long, very long, I was actually hoping to find content more directly related to season 10 of the comic.