Pack oriented endurance hunting omnivores with tool use that evolved for heavy socialization. Tendency towards violence after communication fails, or when other methods of communication feel inadequate. Highly group oriented compared to other local species, driven by an evolved response called "guilt" that causes them to see themselves more negatively than they probably should, balanced by 'the observer/actor disconnect' which causes them to excuse themselves more than they would excuse other people. Humans are culturally fairly guilt-ridden and tend to perceive their race, and often themselves, as horrible.

Your turn.

Good, but bad at it.

Edit: Thought you said sentence.

4236664 Humans. Fairly well educated primates, considering that their their learning capabilities are well below what they could be. Prone to incorporating views of the society they grow up in, while at the same time thinking they decided to hold those views on their own. Oblivious to long term damage of devolution processes, prompted by lack of selection. Thinking they are at the top while ignoring that the genes allow for much further development. Capable of immense perception distortion that allows them to view a misfortune of one as a tragedy while dismissing the deaths of millions.

423666432
Aliens Perspective
Class 1 dominants. Epoch 3a.

Bilaterally symmetrical, water dependent terrestrial organic omnivores. Predatory, hostile.

Emotionally labile, intellectually inquisitive though feral, highly distractable and prone to Type 1 cognitive error and forced perspective. Auditory language. Redirectable and governable.

Unmolested, self-organizing in provincially experimental governmental collectives; storytellers.

Periodic interventions apparent externally; profits taken. Markers evident.

Mostly harmless.

......
So, he is physically here, and can see our physical form, or do we have to describe that as well?
Assuming I do not have to describe what we look like, I would say:
......

Human Perspective
Hello.

I am a delegate representing the Human species, here to communicate with you. Thank you for learning our language- we are finding your language very difficult to understand.

Sorry, but we do not have a single unified government- instead we have hundreds of separate often warring governments, defined by geographic areas. I was appointed by an organization called the United Nations, that superficially represents most of those governments, but has no real authority.

I'm sorry about the protestors in front of the building.

Many humans still cling to ancient beliefs about magical beings that created life, the universe, and everything, and that humans must act in ways to placate these magical beings, and often war against each other over the proper ways to do so.

They also have problems with this meeting, because some claim you are angels, some say you are demons, others say you do not exist.

Again, I'm sorry about that.

Despite evidence to the contrary, humans are the most intelligent species on the planet. What? Oh, I did not know you spoke with them first. OK, the dolphins are smart too, but at least humans are the most technologically advanced species on this planet.

Even so, our level of technology is primitive compared to yours. We cannot travel to other solar systems- we have only been to our own moon a few times, and we don't even have a clear idea what is at the bottom of our own oceans. OK, so that is something the dolphins know and we do not. They never went to the moon though! Take that, dolphins!

We are still in a pre-singularity level of development. We do not yet have complete control over our own physical bodies. We have diseases, and even old age- which means we rarely live more than 70 or 80 of our years. Our computers are a great aid to us, but we do not yet have the ability to store our consciousness in artificially created media.

We would really like it if you do not kill or eat us, please.

4236664
Why didn't you learn about us before landing with probes? Or better yet a cheaper option is to just listen to our radio transmissions. But no, you choose to land in the middle of buttfuck nowhere on a planet inhabited by beings you know nothing about, could be dangerous for all you know, and ask some random asshole about his race instead of that guy in the extremely well guarded house of ivory. For a more advanced species than us, you're kind of retarded.

4236706 Give this woman a medal.

4236664
*After questioning why they didn't have any space probes to investigate us...*
We are a primate species that are inherently moral and work together to better ourselves and each other. Sadly, despite that, we weren't always that cooperative with one another. Our history is proof of that. Our past ways may have caused us to believe that our existence is meaningless, but now we can surely turn that around. We promote peace and freedom more than ever nowadays, and do our best to make sure our futures aren't lost in despair. Though, there are some changes in technology and society that may threaten that. Sometimes, I wonder if that progress will have a good effect on us or not, if we'll still be human by the time we have spaceships going towards Pluto. So I ask you, how's your race like? Does this ring any bells for you?

4236706

*Lands in Asutralia*

Hello Hooman! May I ask you some que-

*Is promptly killed by a Cassowary*

4236885

Meta's a dude.

4237113 Why the hell does he have a girl for his profile picture?

4237249

Why the hell do you have a pony for a profile picture if you're Human?

4237273 Why the hell do I have a picture of Cadence holding a condom in her mouth?

4237358

Exactly! You're no KD holding a condom in your moth in real life. I'm not Chrysalis with infected eyes that have gone septic in real life. Why does your profile pic matter?

He probably just likes the pic.

4237249
Because it is George from the show Dead Like Me.

http://image.tmdb.org/t/p/original/o65VYMkMom5QJk4sCNgtHYMZVVC.jpg If the image doesn't work.

1.037220383e+35 Universal Length against gravity height symmetrical amino-acid based live-form with environmentally adapted homeostasis, internal skeleton, and four-chambered fluid transport system, requiring balanced environmental conditions with copious Oxidane and Oxygen for survival under a set of parameters. While omnivorous, known among species as endurance hunters, walking their prey to exhaustion on wide-open steppes. Humans, from the time of a recent Terran Cool period (Ice Age) migrated across the planet, where their mutations better adapted them to their respective environments. Each of these vaguely categorized "races" have developed different systems of societal function within their cultures. The majority were, in the only last 500 stellar cycles, dominated by a set of cultures from a northern temperate peninsular region known as Europe because of their naturally selected immunities to diseases developed in thousands of years in a sludge pit next to animal feces. Humans have a natural reflexive defense mechanism that brings out fear, hatred, and suspicion of strangers. Because negative thoughts impact their minds more than positive ones, another natural defense mechanism, they might become depressed and have negative views of themselves, each other, or their species as a whole. Their minds are easily corrupted to selfishness by holding power over others, and a good ruler in absolute power is considered a rarity. Humans might describe themselves as hateful, compassionate, idiotic, genius, spiritual, skeptical, civil, barbarous, good, evil, technical, artistic, destructive, creative, war-like, peaceful, sincere, cynical, among many other contrasts. Because of lack of widespread outside contact, they have no way to compare/contrast to those of outside intelligence. As could be inferred from this paragraph, humans are very curious, and like to categorize things.

4237249
That's not how it works. Do you think I'm a Japanese high school girl who can play guitar and has massive eyes?

4237371

I, however, actually AM a Roman standard wherein the acronym for the country's name has been replaced by the acronym of the first lines of a lewd poem.

It makes conversations really, really weird.

Nah, just kidding.

I'm really a teenager stuck in the body of a hawk.

4237770
4237465
4237273
Alright, alright. Sorry.

4238121

I see what you did there

As for the aliens...
We have this nifty little bandwidth and the billions of independent devices connected to it on a global network that generates about a yottabyte of information a year that may or may not be useless and 1% cat pictures and 98% porn, but everything you want to know is somewhere on it.

...Couldn't you have just hid on or behind the moon and picked up information just by observing us?
What do you mean you forgot to pack the telescopes? I mean, we have so many bandwidths floating around I can understand why you couldn't find the internet...

4238121

Welcome to the internet Tobias.

4236664
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.
Lick on deez nuts and suck the dicks.

4240046

I already had the internet. Well, I mean. You know. Marco helped me on it. But we just hooked up the forest for wi-fi, so I can use it myself. Anyone know of any keyboards tailored to talons, by any chance?

Anyway, I've been trying to explain the human condition to aliens for a while, actually. I still haven't gotten past "We make cinnamon buns," but that seems to be enough.

4240115

I take it Ax man is fascinated with them as much as he is with "ing."

4241386

It's ridiculous. But at least they're food. How he did Jake for three days, I don't know.

4241440

Divine intervention. Thats how. Straight up miracle is the only way.

4243564 Not sure Ellimist is allowed to do that. I'll ask if I see him.