Username: lordfrieza

Tell us about yourself:: :Let's see... I'm an English Scholar. What does that mean? Well, I have a bachelor's degree in English. My main focus of study was Literature and creative writing. I've published one novel, written countless amounts of fan fiction, and written countless amounts of original fiction. I tend to be a bit anal about my spelling and grammar. That's actually helped more than hurt, but even I sometimes miss something.

I love to read other people's work, and while I enjoy a good dark story I do like reading a good comedy, and I've even found myself enjoying a decent romance once in a while. I will give advice on what could be used to make the story better, and I will most certainly give a good explanation about why I feel that would help.

How much experience do you have proofreading/pre-reading?: Good question! Well, in Creative Writing, Fiction Writing, Short stories, and Creative Writing Capstone I had to pre-read and proof read up to sixteen different people's material and examine a variety of different writing styles and story telling techniques. I made sure to offer all of the ideas I could while giving them the issues that needed to be addressed and what could be used to make the story stronger.

As for Fanfiction I've been a beta reader (basically the unholy offspring of a proof reader and prereader) for about ten years. I've mainly done it for the Justice League fandom.

Preferred tags: Another good one. Well, I like Slice of Life, Crossovers, Romance (small amounts of clop in the Romance is fine, but I'm not a huge fan of pure clop/porn), dark fics, and action stories.

Favorite form of communication? (Skype, PM, Email, Google Drive, Facebook, Etc...) Wow... a lot of good suggestions... I suppose I'm most comfortable with pure old email, I don't mind skype, but to be honest since I work days it would need to be evening, and even then I'm usually busy. It would be easiest to do email, facebook, Google drive/email with me. I will skype if you want to talk about a specific idea and want to verbally express it, but just saying it's something that I don't often do.

Okay, I hope that helps out, and know that I will be asking for help PDQ (Pretty Damned Quick) as well. Thanks!

LF

Obligatory and Standard Instructions: To request a review of your story, please do the following:
1. Read the general rules on the front page.

2: Read the rules the kind reviewer has set. If he doesn’t want a specific tag, don’t waste anyone’s time by posting a story with that tag. (That said I can overlook some tags if the story premise is one that I'm excited about)

2.5 Read all of them. Don’t be lazy. Laziness is a terrible quality. (Seriously though I would be really thankful if you fillies and colts did pay attention to my set tags. I love to help, but even I have limits.)

3. Fill out this form about your story:

Title:

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag):

General Summary/Description:

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work:

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional):

Other important information:

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer:

4. The reviewer has one week to accept your story. Please understand they are people too, and may not accept your request as soon as you post it. If they fail to accept your request after one week, and you are sure you fit into the group/reviewer’s rules, then report the instance to the admins.

5. After the reviewer has successfully reviewed your story, then be sure to mark your post as completed in some form of noticeable lettering. It helps everyone see the reviewer is doing their job.

6. If any problems arise that you and your reviewer can’t solve together, contact the admins and we’ll help you.

Title: Elemental Shift

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure, Alternate universe

General Summary/Description: Deep in the everfree hidden lay six kingdoms of elementals each ruled by a leader who all live in a centeral city. One of them decides to check out equestria and ends up accidentally dragging the main cast into the elementals world.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: It is incomplete and is in need of tuning.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Basic grammar and punctuation as well as some basic story dynamics (such as if i need to explain something more or is I need to explain it less etc.)

Title: Crossworld Between Harmony: Nightmare's Ascension

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure, Human, Dark (slight)

General Summary/Description:

Their lives an existence of different time and place, a world that was consumed in war and torment. In the human realm there was the Soulus empire, whose conflict from within had left its glory into absolute ruin and certain collapse. By the end of a bloody civil war, it seemed like peace had finally returned to them at last. Or so it would seem to fact.

After a year of tranquillity, a year of harmony, their empire endured, slowly rebuilding its kingdom as well as their lost glory.

However, a new problem emerge that threatens the empire and the very world into eternal darkness. A foreign invader from within, schemed and ployed its darken army, massing with considerable pace and numbers to seize the throne. With the lives at stake, new challenges must be face along with a terrible toll that must be paid through blood and tears.

The darkness began to settle its move, starting at the unsuspecting of all places. Fortress Ironcloud...

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Completed and progress in revision.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Needed you to read the revise versions only; those that aren't, optional. Also request to criticize and correct on simple grammar mistakes on the revise version if possible. Plus a few pointers from now and then.

Other important information: Planning to make Crossworld Between Harmony a series and also speak in second English, if curious.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Varied

Title: Progress

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure, Dark

General Summary/Description: A disillusioned spy, a guard captain, and an owner of a cafe and floristry shop become embroiled in a millennium old plot that threatens the very fate of Equestria.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: It's incomplete, and not published on the site. If you're interested in this story PM me and I'll provide a link to the google doc. Only the first chapter is completed and not all the characters are introduced yet.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): I'm more worried about the overall pace of the story. Am I conveying enough information in the first chapter? Am I capturing the interest of the reader? Do I need more of a prologue?

Other important information: The story hasn't really become dark yet, but that will slowly change as the story progresses.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: I suppose PM and email work for me

Title: The Final Journey

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure (Psychological), Human

General Summary/Description:
A dark mage enters Equestria seeking to change it in the way he sees fit. Allied with daemons of the world’s past, he is sure to succeed, but not everything is lost. Celestia can still pray for help.

A retired hero answers a call to arms, and embarks on a journey he wishes to call his last. Before the end, however, the task must be fulfilled, and the journey finished. Both Equestria’s invader, and its saviour will find things they never looked for. Both will have to face their fears in a struggle of darkness and light. The borders of good and evil are effaced, not all dreams can be fulfilled.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Unpublished. I have prologue and three chapters (60 pages) worth of text, so there's some work on it. I can provide you with any sensible format you like, from Google doc, to downloadable Word doc.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Mostly grammar, though I will need help on some of the scene lenght, and other things. I would also require a bit of opinion on how interesting the story is, and whether it is readable smoothly. I mostly want someone qualified to spend some time on it.

Other important information: Might become a bit psychologically dark, or sad, but as for now, I have kept the kill and torture count near zero. I will try to keep it minimal.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Preferably PM, Email, but I can do Skype too, should you wish to discuss some subject.

Title: A Crystal Refugee

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Slice of Life, (slightly) Tragedy

General Summary/Description: (Set 5 -7 years after the series) Dawning Song, the daughter of Empress Cadance and Prince Consort Shining Armor, is a refugee living in Ponyville. She fled the capital of the Empire with her foalsitter when it was taken by an army of ancient Diamond Dogs (Based on the Roman Empire) called the Crystállum Canini led by Octavius. Left traumatised by the events in the city she must attempt to live a new life in disguise while she decides what she wants to be: Empress or citizen? Merciful or wrathful?

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: I've covered everything I can think of here and below but I can answer any questions May be a fairly long term project but I will only do a chapter every few weeks

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Primarily I would like some extensive proof reading because I've been called up on comma splicing and other things that break the flow of the chapters. Any critiques on the actual story as well would be appreciated too

Other important information: Already written and published 8 chapters with these characters but I'm going to put this bit, and the rest of the story from here, up separately as a jump on point as the pacing changes.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: PM's on here to discuss etc. If the actual editing could be with google Docs that would be best

3078833
Title: Patience, She Said

Tags(clop/gore is a separate tag): Sad, Slice of Life

Rating(Everyone/Teen/Mature): Everyone

General Summary/Description: A young filly befriends an old dragon taking residence on a mountain looking just over Ponyville.

What type of help are you looking for? (Proof-reader/Pre-reader/Editor): Proof-reader work, possibly some editing

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Story is compete. Nothing else has been planned.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Received a rejection from Equestria Daily with absolutely no feedback. Would like to know possible reasons justifying rejection and possible remedies. Any information would help immensely.

Other important information: Approx. 5000 words. One shot.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Fimfiction private messaging.

Title:Metro Equestria:The swarm
Crossover, alternate, universe
teen
Description:Once upon a time in the magical lands of Equestria….
The world above was poisoned. The Equestrian Transcontinental Metro, a massive underground rail system spanning the land of the ponies, provides the only safe haven for life. With none left to lead the scattered ponies, new leaders stepped forward to take over. Three large groups now have dominance in the Metro; The Solar Army, The Lunar Guard, and the Crusaders. The Solar Army and The Lunar Guard are at war fighting over a reason lost to time. Hundreds were lost in each of their wars to end the other. The Crusaders, their founding also lost to time, chose neither side. Instead they try help the many ponies of the Metro. Few areas remain neutral, living on the fringe of an all out civil war. But darker forces are arriving to the table...
Im looking for a proofreader to fix my grammar and punctuation use.
You may want some knowledge of the Metro universe but it is not necessary.
PM me if you are interested

Title: Beyond the Mirror Pool

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure, Dark

General Summary/Description: Twilight Sparkle is enlisted by Celestia to investigate an alternate-timeline in which Equestria is ruled by Nightmare Moon.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Its pretty damn long, so I won't be crushed if you don't read the whole thing, especially if you notice some recurring issues in the first few chapters.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Mechanical issues mostly, as well as showing versus telling.

Other important information:

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Doesn't matter too much, but I'd prefer personal messaging.

Title: Fallout Equestria: Poison Sands (working title)
Tags: Action/Adventure/Crossover/Dark/Gore
General Summary/Description: My story takes place in Saddle Arabia and is about a pony from stable 82 named Carrot Slices. Stable 82 was a seed vault, housing seeds for all of Equestrias plants and to be opened 200 years after it was sealed. Before the opening they broadcast to all near by that they are opening. They a greeted by slavers and are taken captive. They are rescued by a surface pony named Wanderer. Unfortunately Carrot Slices is badly wounded and the stable is a 3 day walk away so Wanderer takes her to a town that is only a few hours away.
That's just a synopsis to the intro, so if anything was unclear or you have any questions feel free to ask
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: I'm not entirely sure how long term of a project this will be. I have most of the story, I'm just not sure how long it will take.
Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional):
Other important information: This is still very early in development.
Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Email for general communication and facebook or something with a chat feature for more immediate communication

Title: An Old-Fashioned Notion

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Action/Adventure, Crossover, Dark, (Light)Gore

General Summary/Description (taken from the story's "official" description): Loki stands on the verge of conquest. His enemies are scattered; their greatest weapons are powerless to stop him. Very soon the Tesseract will open the doorway to an alien army bent on overrunning the planet. Everything has fallen perfectly into place for Loki to bring humanity to its knees.

But when a twist of fate radically alters the events which unite the Avengers, the impending battle for Earth is cast into a little world, an equine world. Now a group of remarkable yet dysfunctional individuals must learn from six colorful ponies that the greatest of teams are forged by the power of their friendships.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: This story is ongoing at ~45,000 words. I've only begun to scratch the surface of the narrative.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): I won't be coy in stating my foremost reason for seeking a pre-reader: the story was recently rejected by Equestria Daily, and I am searching for answers. EQD is now mum on specifics as to why a story is rejected, so I need to place out some feelers. That having been said, I'm also looking to write a genuinely fun and captivating tale; if it can be improved, then I'll be a happy man even if EQD does not see fit to feature it.

More specific to the content inside An Old-Fashioned Notion, I think it helps to consider this story one in which MLP is crossed over into The Avengers rather than the converse. The distinction may be unclear, so allow me to elaborate: The ponies do not play a secondary role, nor is Equestria merely a glorified set piece; rather, the events of the movie mark the inciting conflict(s). Despite Equestria acting as the primary physical setting, the ponies are the ones who gradually find themselves dragged into the unfinished battle between the Avengers and Loki. As Banner describes it, the Avengers are like a time bomb. What happens if and when that bomb goes off in someone else's world?

I am very eager to explore the characters and their relations with one another. If I do my job right, it should feel like Joss Whedon abruptly stuck his hand into Season 3 of My Little Pony and came out with a moral befitting the show.

Other important information: I have a friend of mine assisting me as a pre-reader. He's quite the literary critic himself -- why not double down?

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Private message here on Fimfiction or by email. Skype also works, if live chatting is preferred.

Hello, fellow Bachelor of English Turned Fanfic Writer! Interesting how many of us turn to fanfic writing, isn't it? May I kindly request your assistance in editing a chapter of my fic?

Title: Of Youth and Growth - Applejack
Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Normal, Slice of Life
General Summary/Description: A look into the lives of the Mane 6, before they met. Each chapter focuses on a different one.
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: This chapter might not flow the same way as the others, or even the same way throughout, since I've been ignoring it for quite a while. It's supposed to feel like it's being told from a young filly's perspective, so if the wording is off, be sure to point out where.
Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): I have a terrible habit of writing run-on sentences when trying to describe a scene, so please point those out wherever you happen to come across them.
Other important information: It's been two years since I updated this and every chapter seems to get longer. I suppose that's what happens when you write about your favourite character.

Here is the Gdocs link:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e2mJRokn4nh-5G4d_XgJD4pQiM4XW4V6mKzRkLpuE3M/edit?usp=sharing
I turned on comments, if that helps.
Here's the Fimfic link: http://www.fimfiction.net/chapter/556907

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Fimfiction private message is a good way, but you can also reach me at archeonzephyr[at]gmail[dot]com.

Thank you!

3078833 ((all hail lord frieza!))

Title: You Are Hearby Royally Invited To Your Surprise Wedding

Tags: Romance, adventure, clop, conspiracies, bacon-chili-burgers

General: A poor innocent human teen guy is transformed to a modest human female and transported to Equestria, where he is summarily told that he is engaged to a Griffon Princess on behalf of Equestria (the story starts with him/her having fled the castle and escaped to a bar shortly after being told he/she was marrying a griffon princess.)

link is title

if interested, you can PM me or email me at viking.hoof@yahoo.com

Greetings Lord Frieza. I would like your help in editing and proofreading my story 'Enchantè'. This was a case for me of being too close to the source; I thought my own editing and proofreading were fine. Seems I was mistaken, as the story was not approved for EQD. Anyway, here are the pertinents:

Title: Enchantè
Tags: Romance/Adventure
General Summary/Description: A Unicorn scholar from Canterlot travels to Ponyville to study the Everfree Forest, but finds something else that changes his life forever.
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: None that I can think of
Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Nothing in particular; it all needs your attention.
Other important information: None
Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: PM or email promses2kp@yahoo.com.

3078833 Good morning! (from my perspective)
I'm relatively new to Fimfiction and even though I've never been an author, I love being a writer. Thus, I joined this group looking for like-minded people to help me learn from my mistakes and polish my strengths.
My story, Aurora Song, https://www.fimfiction.net/story/189443/aurora-song is a slightly [sad] story built to be and [adventure] and seasoned with just a hint of comedy. (actually, this would be my first time trying to be funny) It's the story about a few hardened villains from the distant war-torn territories of Equestria who decide to pillage the now-defenseless hamlet of Ponyville. The thing is, the story is almost complete and I would like your help in refining it. Specifically, where chapter breaks should be most effectively employed and feedback on if the drama is too transparent or if it's gripping and dark.
Also, I was using this story as a way to test my ability to employ descriptions, but I may have caked too much on. I need your eyes,
Thank you for your time and I can only hope you enjoy the story!

3340566
3078833
Be sure to use the reply feature to ensure the reviewer gets a notice for this.

3078833

Hello,
I hope you're available to review my story in progress.
Title: Discord's Heir
Tags: Adventure, HiE, Romance,
General Summary: Discord retires, gives his power over to a human volunteer. The human dubs himself Paradox and sets out to prove that chaos is good and beneficial. Of course he needs to be free of the threat from the Elements of Harmony to do this, so he scatters the Mane 6 across time and space who all face their own challenges in getting home.
Information you need to know: The story was started in S2, the prologue and first chapter have not been edited at all.
Specific things I want you to focus on: New chapters. If you feel up to editing the first few chapters, then I appreciate it, but the only thing I truly need from you is reviewing new chapters.
Other Important Information: The romance is referring to FlutterDash (in an established relationship) and Twilestia (may be one sided, neither is aware of the other's feelings on the matter)
Form of Communication: I prefer PM's on FIMfiction, but if you prefer E-mail will also work. mmooney@ualberta.ca is my email address.

3341740

Thanks

3078833
Title: The Life and Times of Derpy Hooves

Tags: Slice of Life (other tags, such as Romance, are more relevant in later chapters) I don't expect the rating to exceed Everyone, because even Romance wouldn't get too intimate.

General Summary/Description: A story about what Derpy Hooves goes through in her everyday life. She works a job with an intimidating boss, hoping that it'll lead her to a career. She juggles finances and responsibilities, doing her best to provide for young Dinky Doo. She'll encounter potential extra-special someponies: a new co-worker and a mysterious stallion calling himself an historian. More of Derpy's history gets revealed when her family decides to come down from Canterlot to visit; family she isn't exactly fond of. Above all, Derpy will work to better herself to improve not just her own life, but the lives of the ponies around her.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: This is my first My Little Pony fanfiction. I wanted to get a pre-reader's opinion before I submit it to the site.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): My greatest concern is pacing. I want to know if the story progresses too quickly or too slowly, and at what points it does.

Other important information: At this point, three chapters have been written with an average length of approximately 2,500 words each. I felt that three chapters would be a good place to have some judge what I have so far and advise me on where I'm going. I'll admit that my writing style is just a little unorthodox. I don't enjoy reading stories super-saturated with dialogue, and so my own writing keeps the dialogue light. I'd want to know if it seems too light on dialogue. Above all else, I'm open to criticism and receptive to advice.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Private Messages would be the most efficient.

I hope my story gets approved. Thank you for you time.

Title: Robot Unicorn Attack.
Tags: Romance, Tragedy, Comedy, Crossover, Adventure, Alternate Universe.
General Summary/Description: A story is crossover between Robot Unicorn Attack universe and MLP FiM universe and... some more universes.
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: This is my first My Little Pony English fanfiction. I wanted to get a pre-reader's opinion before I submit it to the site.
Other important information: At this point, story have been written and there are more than 10000 words. I'm open to criticism and receptive to advice.
Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Private Messages would be the most efficient.
I hope my story gets approved. Thank you for you time.

3078833 Title: Fallout Equestria: The Lone Rifleman
Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Tragedy, Dark, Adventure, Alt. Universe, Human
General Summary/Description: it is about a seventeen year teenager who was supposed to die when the Nuclear bombs dropped on Oct. 23rd 2077. When he wakes up to discover that he is alive; he finds himself in the post-war Equestria
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: There are five chapters and somewhat edited varying in length the longest is around 13000 words but, no more than 14000. The prologue was already edited.
Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Mainly grammar and punctuation.
Other important information: As the title says the story is in the Fallout Equestria universe made by Kkat.If you don't like it just use the ways of communication to tell me.
Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer :PM or comment on user page

Hi, I'm in search of a proofreader/editor/pre-reader, you know, the whole package.

Title: Children of Nothing
Tags: Adventure, dark, tragedy, romance

Description: The story takes place in an alternate Equestria, around 20 years after princess Cadence's rise to power in the Crystal Empire (the mane 6 do not exist in this world). Numerous conflicts have erupted within and beyond the countries’ borders causing it to enter an unprecedented industrial age where technology merges with arcane magic.
Unfortunately, twelve years after the Griffin insurgence that lead to the horrific events of the Whitetail Wood massacre, bringing disgraced the pegasus nation, Equestria is threatened once more.
A mysterious force has arrived from the west, a barren land, once thought utterly devoid of life, and has carved a bloody trail across Equestrias Northern provinces, leaving only death and havoc in its wake.
Now, two years after the first attack, Princess Luna fights to raise an army powerful enough to vanquish the enemy, calling every able pony to join the cause, but, alone and without allies against such evil, will Equestria prevail?

Main character: Orion
Preferred form of communication: PM
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Unpublished. I have at this point extensively worked on the world's background and functioning as well as the first chapter.
Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): flow, punctuation, paragraphs, show vs telling and a few other things.

I'd be really grateful if you would consider my story,
thank you.

3078833

Title: The Elder Scrolls: Equestria
Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Crossover; Adventure; Dark; Alternate Universe; Gore
General Summary/Description:
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria... not everything was perfect. The three pony tribes, forced out of their home, stumbled upon the fertile land that was to become known as Equestria, and settled there. An agreement was struck between the three to share this new land, and to put behind them past misdeeds. Unfortunately, it was not that easy. Hate and hostility continued to fester between the earth ponies and the unicorns, kept at bay only because of the pact, with the pegasi caught in the crossfire. With tensions coming to a boil, and the threat of a civil war looming over everypony’s mind, everyday became a struggle.

Something is stirring in the shadows. Enemies long forgotten by the children of Equestria have returned, and brought with them a much greater threat. With ancient forces amassing, and the dead rising, the fate of the world falls into the hooves of an unlikely trio to unite the three provinces of Equestria – if they don’t kill each other first.
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: One thing that should be noted is that the chapters rotate between three different characters, until the end of volume 1. Also, I'd like you to review all the chapters I've done so far; I've given you the link to the Google Docs page, because it contains the revised editions of the chapters, which I haven't uploaded to FIM yet.
Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Characterization. My biggest fault is that I fall in love with my own characters, and I tend to be too nice to them, or make them too nice. The second big thing is pacing. Oh, and anything else that raises a flag to you.
Other important information: I already have a pre-reader, but he doesn't really care much for crossovers or first person narrative, and I'd rather not burden him. I'm still going to use him as an unbiased opinion, but I'd also like someone who wants to review it.
Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Since you like e-mail, we can talk through that. PM me if you decide to take on my story, and I'll give you my address.

3078833
Title: Sun's Fire

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Romance, Tragedy, and Alternate universe

General Summary/Description: An origin story of Discord, except gender-bent!
It was a beautiful day in Equestria as usual, but something was a bit off. It might've been the strange pink clouds over the mountain or maybe that the small paths were made of soap. What's going on in Equestria? Prince Solaris is curious and goes to find what has been causing all the chaos. Up in a cave on the mountain he finds a strange creature with no name and no idea where she came from. Will these two complete opposites be able to find friendship in each other? Or will chaos reign and harmony blown to the winds.
Slightly based off Hunchback of Notre Dame, the songs anyway.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: By the description you know that the characters have gender-swapped, this is mostly going to focus on Celestia/Solaris and Discord/Eris.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional, but appreciated): Mostly keep watch for grammar and spelling errors. I think I'm pretty good at most things, but I'm horrible at comma-splicing or whatever it's called. Also as a pre-reader I want to know (honestly) if you think I'm keeping true to the characters' personalities and if I'm doing enough for character development. Sometimes I think I'm way too focused on getting to the next event that I kind of throw development out the window. Also if you think there's anything that could make it better, please tell me.

Other important information: None that I can think of.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Usually I would prefer PM, but if email is what you're comfortable with, I'll go with that too. PM me first if you accept my story and I'll give you my address.

Hope you accept my story!

3078833
Title: Fallout: Equestria - Outlaw

Tags: Dark, Crossover, Adventure

General Summary/Description: The story of a world-weary recon soldier who one day has his life turned upside down by an internal investigation of his father's seedy activities. Things begin to roll downhill for our intrepid hero when the impending doom of an innocent pony causes a deep moral conflict within him. Making a choice that offers him no way to return to his own life, he leaves behind everything he knows to selflessly save his father from being imprisoned and dedicate his life to helping ponies who need it. Soon after leaving, he crosses paths with a bitter old foe and a race to stop him before he can kill countless thousands ensues.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: This is a Fallout: Equestria story, as you've seen. You're probably familiar with it by now, if only by name. Few people in the fandom haven't heard of it at least in passing. I do hope it's not too much to ask to have you give my story a look. While the niche is quite saturated with fics both good and bad, people have said very nice things to me about Outlaw. The story is currently in re-write, so any changes I can make now would be nothing but helpful for the future.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): I'm pretty confident in my spelling. Grammar as well for the most part, but I do make mistakes on occasion. I'm mainly looking for someone to look over the story and make any suggestions for improvement to the story's infrastructure. I've never had a complaint before, but it doesn't hurt to have a second opinion.

Other important information: I've only got it uploaded to FiMFiction for now, but I can put it up onto Google Drive if that would make things easier.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: I'm fine with email. You can find it under my contact info in my profile page.

I hope to hear from you!

Title: Everything you Wanted

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure, Alternate Universe

General Summary/Description: Scootaloo overcomes her defective wings though the help of a mysterious entity. She then has to confront the influence of her body on the course of her life, while the entity begins to offer similar "help" to other ponies. As conflict builds, the story ultimately builds to an examination of the interplay between body and self, and the ethics of power and control.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: I am aiming for placement on EqD with this story, so there is a strong emphasis on proof reading, but if the story doesn't measure up on a pre-reading level, that would be incredibly valuable to know.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Strong focus on grammatical perfection and raw appeal of the story. Do you want to read more?

Other important information: The story is set approximately 24 years after the end of season 4.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: PMs on fimfic are preferred, though Skype is an option for more in depth discussion.

3078833 I guess it'd be easier to reply to yours so you'll actually see it XD

So, I have a story I would like you to look at Please?

Title: Broken Pieces

Tags: Sad, Dark, Adventure

General summary/Description: The story itself is about a young mare named Ruby Star. She had just entered initiation to become part of the Solar Empire (which, strangely, has meetings at night) and something had gone terribly wrong. Today, Celestia had decided to fly over the sun, making the initiation flawed and, in the aftermath, giving Ruby Star a piece of Celestia herself. The story will be about her adventures and how she copes to change, loss, memories, and most of all, sadness.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: It has actually just begun. I have written the prologue. Right now, my thoughts are to not post it on here until it is completed, and I would be so appreciative if you could do with editing from Google Docs at the time being. This can subject to change if requested by you.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): umm....nothing serious. I just want to know if it flows nicely, has a good plot, all the normal stuff. Editing, Pre0reading, and proof reading are all greatly advised, if possible :)

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Umm...well I'm always checking my PM. I also will regularly check my email, which can be asked for in a PM. Facebook....text..pretty much the basics.

Thank you so much :D

3078833

Hoping you can help me improve my story. Also, PDQ is my favourite way to get things done. :)

Title: Origins: Vinyl Scratch (Google Docs) or Origins: Vinyl Scratch (FimFiction)

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Slice-of-life, sad (maybe?)

General Summary/Description: Vinyl Scratch, now a music producer in Mane Francisco, is given the opportunity to go to school at the most prestigious musical school in Equestria. However, there is one slight problem- she's mute! When the school finds out, she becomes the target of hate and violence, all due to her inability to speak out against it. Will she succumb to the pressure, or break through it?

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: The story is meant to be told in at least a little bit of passive voice, but if it's overbearing or excessive, let me know where I can improve.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): I feel like my grammar and mechanics are fine, so that's not what I'm worried about so much as character and story issues.

Other important information: Nothing I can think of.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Either PM here, or email at carsonscottproductions@gmail.com You can also leave comments on the Gdocs link, or comments on the Fimfiction link.

3078833

Title: Lessons Learned from Loyalty

Tags: Adventure

General Summary/Description: Many ages after the original adventures of the Elements of Harmony, a young stallion soars high into the clouds, searching for the Element of Loyalty.

Her original life lived and gone so long ago, Loyalty, like the rest of her friends, has changed and grown over her many lifetimes to guide the ponies of Equestria. Because even after so long, the Elements of Harmony will always share their lessons of friendship.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Story is already completed and published on this very website. It is a single chapter story, but it's also over twelve-thousand words in length, so it'll be quite the read if you do decide to give it a look.

Specific things you want your reviewer to focus on: Grammar and punctuation, with mostly a focus on syntax and the terribly pervasive comma splice. That said, any and all critique that you could provide would be greatly appreciated.

Other important information: Story does not contain any immortal alicorns if such a thing bothers you. I like to think that the mystique aspect of my story is (hopefully) much more original than that.

Form of communication: PM or E-mail, either is fine by me.

3078833

Title: Inheritors of Vita - Severed Fate

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure, Dark, Random, Crossover, Anthro (on certain creatures, not ponies.), possibly human.

General Summary/Description: "I tell the tale of Icetra, a youthful Cryluzo who was thrust into a Omniverse of abhorrent horrors, unexpected twists, comical situations, and just plain randomness. Ecstatic joy turned reluctance, he wanders to different worlds, using his family sword and bone-chilling spells to smite all that threatens the delicate state of Vita.
Although amnesia might delay that process. If what that lengthy prophecy says is true though, it'll come back running to him like it always does.
Of course this is not aware to the bewildered dragon. Nor is he wise to the fact that this perpetual idyllic land is caused by a disturbance that lurks beyond the borders of the continent. What could have caused this world to have nothing but calm seas, and why was Equestria left out?
The answer can be only be found by the will of others, ready to guide our young hero to the unknown and back to serene greenery. But first, let us tell another tale of his recuperation and growing friendships by the people of this new land."

But first, it's time to see if friendship really is magic. New beginnings harkens new encounters after all, and he'll need as many friends as possible to face this profound evil.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Chapters focus on three characters that have their own tales that soon intersect with the main character, Icetra. The story is already on Google Docs so if you're interested just PM me and I'll send the link.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Characterization. Icetra has this unique ability that may or may not make him into a Gary Stu, which is something I want to prevent. Also others characters since I'm still technically learning the personalities of other ponies. Anything else that seems out of place is also fine.

Other important information: Story does contain different characters and powers that may seem outlandish, especially for certain ponies that can use certain traits of other ponies.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: PM.

3078833
Title:The Last Keeper of Harmony

Tags: Sad, Dark, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Gore

General Summary/Description:The Bearers of Harmony and their friend Spike, a baby dragon, have been working spreading harmony and the magic of friendship all over Equestria for 15 long years. However an ancient evil that could plunge the whole world into darkness, not just Equestria, is awakening. All this happening as Spike is growing in frustration. Spike has been stuck as a baby dragon for a long time...too long... and there doesn't seem to be any answers as ponies' knowledge of dragons is sorely lacking and in some cases wrong. He is getting desperate for answers. But what does this all have to do with Spike? Those answers come with the approaching darkness, darkness that only he has a chance at turning around... but only if his questions are answered. With the help of a wondering pony, Discord, and the Bearers of Harmony can he survive long enough to discover his destiny before the forces of darkness end him.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Story is already roughly at the halfway point. No new chapters being worked on at the moment (stuck on the next chapter + I want to fix all the previous chapters before continuing.) Story is on Google docs and I can send the necessary links via PM

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional):
Showing not telling, Dialogue, OC leans a bit too far to Mary Sue territory need suggestions on how to pull it back a bit.

Other important information: I think I got everything covered

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: PM here or Google docs

3078833 G'day! Here's my story if you wouldn't mind taking a gander.

Title: Fallout Equestria: Emergence

Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Dark, Gore (though, not extremely gory or dark so far).

Rating: Mature

General Summary/Description:

“The Lightbringer has risen, the Enclave has fallen. Equestria is on the threshold of a new era. This is all very poetic, but KnickKnack is a pony with ambitions and he intends to pursue them. Question is - is he willing to pay the price?”

Emergence is a spinoff for Fallout: Equestria, large focus on the changes coming across the Equestrian Wasteland and how the characters are affecting that future, whether they intend to or not.

What type of help are you looking for? Pre-reader or Proof-reader.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work:
-I’m looking for editing for what I’ve already written, but if you’re interested in helping me out long-term, that’d be much appreciated. Currently, the story is at about 15,000 words. The finished fic itself will probably be fairly long.
-It’s set in the Fallout: Equestria universe, but if you’re not familiar with Fallout or FoE, that won’t be a problem so long as you’re not put off by it.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on: Integral descriptions. Where they’re needed or could be improved, particularly with ponies. As well as that, anything that leaps out and says ‘Whoa, why’d you put this in here?’ I’m also looking for feedback on ideas for things I want to implement in the story that I haven’t locked in yet, largely for way ahead.

Other important information: I’m a somewhat sporadic writer. I don’t write extremely quickly and tend to work in chunks on the weekends. I progressively put updates on GDocs and find it works well to allow people to comment on it.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: FiMFiction PM or G-docs, unless you have a strong preference otherwise.

3078833

Title: Twilight Falls, Sunset Dawns

Tags: Sad, Slice of Life

Rating: Everyone

General Summary/Description: Two and a half years after the events of Equestria Girls (fic was begun before Rainbow Rocks), Sunset Shimmer returns to Equestria and uses an ancient relic to steal Twilight's body. With Twilight stuck in Sunset's body she's sent to live with her overbearing former tutor while Sunset heads to Ponyville to live up the royal lifestyle. However, her stolen life begins to unravel as the reality falls short of her dreams and her personal issues bubble to the surface.

What type of help are you looking for?: I need someone to take a magnifying glass to my grammar. Proper comma usage, both splices and lack of them, passive voice, any other technical problems I may have I'm unaware of, etc.

3078833I need an editor and proof reader, I hope that's okay.
Here's the info you'll need:
Title: Drifted Thoughts
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, Human, Alternate Universe, Random.
Description: A girl living a sad life gets pulled into Ponyville through her TV. Only to find she was saved from the dissapontment, lonelyness and sadness of her old life. Now she's a young filly with a plan. Her new mom(s) are the mane six. How will she cope with her new Adventure filled life.
Things you need to know: I already have six chapters finished. (I also need an opinion on those chapters. How I could improve them and my writing too.) I'm not quite sure how it'll work, but I think you could help me with those and the next chapters I'm writing. I'm looking for a long term thing, if that's ok if not can you just do the chapter's u have done?
Specific things to focus on: grammar, I want your opinion if that's cool, help with my ideas sometimes idk of there good or not.
Other: That's it I think. I'm on everyday.
Preferred form of communication: I don't have a Skype, so PM would be best or exchange numbers and text me.
That's all I got. So thanks!

Title: The Last Stand of Dame Twilight Sparkle's Personal Guard

Tags: Alternate Universe, Adventure, Dark

Rating: Teen

Description: After a week traveling through the Everfree Forest without sun, Twilight Sparkle and company have arrived at Castle Everfree, ready to face Nightmare Moon. They are not prepared.

Type of Help: Pre-reader

Necessary Info: This is a side story to Interloper, another one of my stories, and reading that one is not necessary. Start with "Steampunk pones" and all other required story elements will be explained in detail. Beyond that, consider this a sort-of rewrite of Friendship is Magic, Part 2, that patches up some plot holes and adds some headcanon.

Specific Focus: I spend a lot of time considering, in detail, every single sentence I write. I don't use words flippantly, unless writing a character that does, and nearly every sentence holds quite a lot of meaning and detail that casual readers might pass over, even be put off by. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I write.

Other Info: I have a lot of free time, and can provide a direct link to the Gdocs version of this story if needbe. I don't mind rewriting bits that are fully flawed, but I may get a bit miffed if told, "This entire scene doesn't work, get rid of it." Aside from that, I'm pretty easy-going.

Communication Details: I can be contacted here, by email, by Skype (Chat or Call), GDocs, nearly everything except Facebook, because I don't exist on it.

Thank you in advance!

3078833

Oh hell, I'm an idiot. Sorry, forgot to hit the reply button the first time, my fault.

And here I am, wondering if I forgot something bigger...

3078833
Title: Harmonycraft- Behind the Screens
Tags: Comedy Random Crossover Slice of Life Human
Rating: Teen, but for an ER scene that isn't in the chapter I need edited.
Description: An administrator for a server for pony fans contemplates his awkward existence.
It needs a Proof-reader, please. I have a pre-reader.
My story was rejected on the first try because, regardless of my spelling skills, I really suck at grammar. Also for a couple of other small issues I've already fixed.
I only have the Prologue and First Chapter ready to go.
Other important information: This is where it is at. Sorry, grammar boy, but I'm evil. >:) HC story
Also, I would love to help you out. I have a pre-reader form being processed. Sometimes stuff just needs another eye, you know?
Communication: Absolutely anything will do. I prefer email.

Title: Causality: Lost in a Broken Equestria

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Sad Dark Random Adventure Alternate Universe

General Summary/Description: Best to read my 200 Word Prologue http://www.fimfiction.net/story/258066/1/causality-lost-in-a-broken-equestria/causality-chapter-0-prolouge

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: Not much really I just need someone I can work with to proof-read and edit my work where I go wrong

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Punctuation and grammar. Generally anything you think wrong correct me on it

Other important information: I have personally read 2 chapters and edited and proof read it myself but it takes too long for me to do because I'm not that great at English I need more time to write the next few chapters I am half way through chapter 3 currently my chapters are 1000 words - 3000 words long at the maximum

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: You can skype me; therealcatface or PM me on FiMFiction

Thanks =^.^=/ProtoFelix

3078833 Title: Monster High Ghoul's out in Equestria.

Tags: Crossover, Slice of Life, Human(?)

Rating: Everyone

General Summary/Description: The Monster High universe and Equestria is connected by a portal and the ghouls use it to travel back and forth to fang out and make new pony friends.

What type of help are you looking for?: Pre-reader

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: I have Microsoft Word so there should be no mistakes.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Plot, characterization, and continuity.

Other important information: The first chapter is finished and ready to be looked at.

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Fimfiction PM and Google docs.

3078833

Hey here's my story if you're interested.

Title: We Need A Hero

Tags: Sad, Dark, Adventure

Ratings: Teen (Might move to M)

Description: An adventure fic that follows Twilight after she is thrown back in time to an Equestria when Discord and Sombra are both still in power.

I am looking for a prefreader and editor. And editor would be great but we would mainly like to hear feed back on the story itself (pacing, plot, and etc).

Title: Equestrian Wasteland: Zodiac Ruins

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Sex(There is no reference to this yet), Tragedy, Dark, Gore, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Anthropomorphic, Sad

Rating (Everyone/Teen/Mature): Mature (For later Chapters)

General Summary/Description:
A Thousand years ago the Miasma, a creature that absorbs fear, took over the world of Equestria. Princess Luna, despite warnings from her sister Celestia, spoke with the gods of old and made a pact to establish a defense against the immortal creature. The Zodiac Guard is made up of two parts. One is the basic army who defends Equestria at night, the Nocturnal Guard, also known as the Bat Races. The other are the rare few who bare the mark of the Celestial Zodiac, known more commonly as the Zodiac Guard. Between these two they fight against the Miasma's ever growing and evolving force of Nightmares.

Now after the entire world of Equiss was destroyed by war and savage greed, this monster returns evolved beyond what it was and its up to a new generation to revive an old guard or else Equestria and the dawning new world will be plunged into a thousand years of darkness and slaughter once again.

Welcome to the Equestrian Wasteland; where things are never what they seem...

What type of help are you looking for? (Proof-reader/Pre-reader/Editor): I am currently looking for a Proof-Reader, if you're not to busy of course.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: It takes place in first person view. So I, me, my, myself, etc. It currently only has the prologue posted on the site but the main one I need help with is the actual first chapter which is in a Google-Doc. If you are able to take this I would be delighted to email you the link.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Overall flow of the story, grammar, and spelling errors if possible.

Other important information: While you are reading this chapter, and going through it if you could or want to. Please tell me if I spent enough time building up the feeling of family between the main character Capricorn, her brother Leo, and her Father Knight Rider. Thank you!

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Preferably email if that is okay? If not we can use the PM here on the site.

Title: Equestria's chain of conflicts
Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Romance, Dark, Comedy (kind of), Adventure, Human (barely)
General Summary/Description: Some years in the future, Equestria is invaded by the heat of war and, once again, Twilight and her friends will embark on a new adventure, one that will change the fate of Equestria.
Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: It was my first story, and now that I look back at it... I think it's... not as good as it used to. It's already completed, but I don't know if that would be an issue.
Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): I have special trouble with action scenes, but I'd like help on the overall story, if that's possible
Other important information: Not really...
Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: I prefer PM, but I also got Google Drive, we can use any of those two (NO Facebook, NOR Skype)

Title: Fallout Equestria: The Bodies We Leave Below

Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Dark, Sex, Gore

General Summary/Description: Skiff, a skytank gunner in the Grand Pegasus Enclave, gets a taste for war in the opening events of Operation Cauterize.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: One shot. Rough draft is currently finished at ~10,300 words. It contains a scene of clop and a few bits of descriptive gore here and there.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Grammatically I'm pretty good. Most of what I'm looking for is help with flow and scene development, as well as overall opinions and stuff.

Other important information: *le shrug*

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Here's a GDocs link to the view only version. If you're interested, shoot me a PM of your ideal email and I'll share the doc with you.

Title: Chasing The Briny Neighsayer

Tags (clop/gore is a separate tag): Adventure, Romance, Alternative AU (very mild), Drama, Gore

General Summary/Description: Exploring new lands, adventures on the high seas, and finding great fortune are all things Rose Sweetsail dreams of. The trouble is, no one takes her seriously. As a part of the Sweetsail family, all she's ever been allowed to do is make sails for the lucky ships that get to sail away. Her sweet look and gentle voice do her no favors either. But the unicorn's true talent lies in ship architecture, and it is this that catches the attention of the dashing Captain Swashbuck. They strike a deal. Rose designs a ship that can do what no other has done before--sail to the legendary land of Equestria. In exchange, Swashbuck allows her to sail with him as his boatswain.

Of course, that isn't how things go. Who wants to read a story where everything goes according to plan, after all? No, no... This is an adventure of swashbuckling danger in an epic quest of revenge. It's also the fantastic tale of how one sweet pony comes to be the most feared pirate on the high seas.

Information the reviewer needs in order to review your work: This is meant to be a long form story with multiple chapters. Currently I just have rough drafts of chapters 1 and 2. Combined they are a bit over 5k words total. The gore isn't meant to be especially over the top, just somewhat true to the dangerous lives of pirates. Romance is a sub-plot and takes a bit to kick in. The adventure is the main focus.

Specific things you want the reviewer to focus on (optional): Dialect. I'm shooting for a vague mish mash of the British Isles. I'd like to know if it feels too subtle (I tend to prefer subtle suggestion over overt visual cues, i.e. "Oy! You wanker!" vs. "Oy, yoo wankah!")

Other important information: I'm new to pony fiction...but please by all means, do NOT be gentle! I'm a creative writing graduate myself. I can't make excuses

Form of communication you want to use with your reviewer: Email is fine. I have Gmail.