Welcome to the very first Twilestia is Bestia Mini Contest! Unlike its bigger cousins, the Bimonthly and Quarterly contests, we’re going smaller for the Research and Development Edition. This is a complement to our main series, which you can find here. Authors are welcomed and encouraged to participate in both! Because we run these in tandem, there is a lot of crossover. Feel free to submit stories to both, so long as it follows the rules outlined below.

The Premise: Decades of careful study and market analysis produced the following prompt: On A Pedestal

Limitations: Any and all content in the fic is legal unless the group rules say otherwise. Please check over the rules thread if you have any worries about content. If it's within the rules, it's fine. As for word count, our lower limit is 1000 so that your story can actually be, y'know, a story, and our upper limit is 15,000. Lastly, the story you write for this contest must be original. This means that you have to have never posted it before the contest started. Stories that have been written up but not posted are allowed. Reworks of stories written and posted two months ago are not. However, reworking and adapting prompts is acceptable, provided there has been significant change or expansion. If you’re unsure, message me!

Entering a story: In order to enter the contest, simply add your story in a comment in the thread of the contest. If the judges don't know where to find this story, it can't be judged.

Judging: Because this is a mini contest, we’re trimming things all around! This contest will have one judge who follows a predefined rubric. The spot is open to anyone so long as they don’t also submit a story for this contest. Because we’re also shaking up the formula in other ways and we want to try out a ton of new ideas, we’re going to use a rubric to judge the stories. It can be found here for potential judges and authors alike! If you’d like submit feedback on how the rubric is set up, please leave in comments below.
Your judge for this contest: OPEN

Winnings: This contest will have only one “winner” for first place, based on the scores from the judge. But, fret not! We’re also going to offer special recognition for stories that stand out in some way. The winner will get a place in the contest winner’s folder, as well as a selection from the prize pool from the associated Quarterly contest. Check there to see what’s available!

Deadline: Entries will be due by March 5th (11:59:59 PM, PST), giving you plenty of time to write them up during the contest!

Best of luck to all entrants, and enjoy the show to everyone!

For those interested in seeing what criteria stories are to be judged on, here is an outline of the rubric (again, subject to change as we learn what works and what doesn't from our mini experiments contests): Ze Rubric

edit 3/9: Here is the rubric used for this contest. The link above has been changed from this version to reflect feedback.

Writing Mechanics
On a scale of 1 to 5, how well does the story adhere to proper English grammar and punctuation?

Writing Style
On a scale of 1 to 10, from a subjective standpoint, does the author’s writing style serve the story well?

Adherence to the Prompt
On a scale of 1 to 5, how well does the story fit the prompt?

Originality
On a scale of 1 to 5, how original is the story?

The Feels
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much emotional impact does the story have and is it well presented?

Overall Quality
On a scale of 1 to 10, in general, how good is this story?

Bonus Points
Optional. On a scale of 1 to 10, would you award extra points to this story for any reason? Perhaps a particularly funny moment, a clever twist, an appeal to a specific trope you love, etc. Please explain.

Overall Impressions and Feedback
What did you like and/or dislike about the story? What observations would you give to the author?

5771610
I think there should be a few changes to help differentiate these "mini" contests from the big boys. Right now, looking at it, outside the judging section, there is little difference to the actual participants.

I propose a lowering of the bar for entry. Say take the word count minimum to 1000, and the maximum to say, 15,000. The reason I think doing so would be good, is because it makes actually entering it as easy as just getting a story on the site in the first place. Limiting the maximum will make things feel less intimidating. 35,000 words is a monster fic size, and I know we set that limit so high in case someone wants to go gonzo. But on the other end of the spectrum, I feel it can be intimidating to smaller fic ideas and writers when they think they might have to compete against a monster like that. (And let's be honest, if someone came anywhere close to that word count, it becomes highly unlikely that it would be done by someone without the skill to make them worth reading, thereby winning them the case without the need to really scrutinize the resultant story.)

If we limit the story size, another benefit would be to the single judge. In that they don't end up with a small novel to examine.

Beyond that, I like the change to the judging. Having a defined rubric is something I've always advocated in the WriteOff group (who never listen, but eh...). It provides good structure and should turn into something valuable to the winner as well. I also agree with the time limit. All that stuff looks good.

5771654
I have no idea what you're talking about. The min/max was always 1000/15000. :liarjack:

5771680
Don't you sass me.

5771610 Hope I'm doing this right. A story for the contest: She's So High...High Above Me.

5831400
We have our first entry!

Noooooo I wish I'd seen this sooner D: [cries in pinkie] whyyyyy :'(

now how do I stretch out 323 words into 1000

added so much fluff and it is still only 606

5833539
5834381
There's still more than 48 hours! You have all of Saturday and Sunday to get something going!

So wait the deadline is sunday at midnight? Question: what if I get it done before then but it doesn't get approved right away? Lol *technicalities*

5834658 Since you already have stories published on the site, you may have the option of Auto Approval when you submit your next one. No waiting for mods to read through it, so it gets published immediately. You may not have the option, as it may be based on how many stories you've published, but if you do, that solves your problem.

5834715 Awwww snap. That's useful to know, thanks for the tip!

5834658
Ain't no rule saying your submission has to be published prior to the deadline. It just has to be posted and readable to the judges.

Which, in practice, just means you'd need to post a link to the story here on Fimfiction and give us the view password, basically. The auto-approve option works, too.

5834381 5834658
A little more than 27 hours to the deadline! Entries are still open until midnight Pacific Standard Time tomorrow, March 5th! (3 AM Eastern, 7 AM UTC)

5835842 I'm gonna have to back out, there's no way I'll have it done on time But I do love this mini contest idea and hope you guys decide to do more in the future :3

5835842 I would kind of feel bad "winning" if I'm the only entrant. Would still like the story to be judged, per se. But it wouldn't be right to win one of those lovely prizes if it's by default.

Another entry!

5836170 Yeah, I had too much on my plate (Tuna Contest!) to do one this time either. I definitely want to see the mini-fic thing done again so I have a chance to enter! I really like writing shortfics, they're fun.

Though I don't know, if the prompt had inspired me I might have tried to squeeze one in. Can I request that next time we have a prompt that isn't the single most common theme to TwiLestia ships? It's hard for me to be inspired by an idea that I've seen done over and over and over and over and over. I did actually consider at least reversing it and having Twilight be the one on a pedestal, but I've even seen that done too, and also that's hard to do in so few words, since it requires establishing Celestia as being somewhat different than who we see in the show, in order for her to be insecure about Twilight. If I was a comedy writer I'd have done something really stupid with a literal pedestal and somebody ending up stuck on it somehow... but I suck at comedy.

5836391 I agree with you about the prompt, and honestly I was going comedy route with my idea. Pretty off the wall comedy tbh. It also involved an actual pedestal at one point.

I just like how you called it lol

5836391 5836423
The prompt was chosen by a vote, which I'll probably reopen for suggestions on new ones and run the poll again. I totally get the "prompt doesn't work for me" thing, though, and that's always a concern with these! Still, 12 hours to sneak something in if you can manage it!

5836476 Heh. If I manage to think of *something* worth doing with the prompt, I might try, but right now I'm completely dry on ideas.

5836476 Okay, somebody gave me a usable idea, and my kid went down for a well-timed nap, so I'm in!

It's up.

Stepping Off

5837545
Awesome, our 3rd entry!

I am starting on the judging.

Here are my notes, review and score for the first entry: She's So High...High Above Me by Art de Triomphe.

Notes & Review
Hook & Presentation
Description is serviceable with no noticeable flaws, direct and to the point without being blunt. Cover art is cute. Title is a song lyric, ties well into Twilight’s perception of Celestia and the prompt itself.

Technical
Minor: A few compound sentences. There are a few commas that should probably be full stops. There was an instance or two of odd capitalization in dialogue that was broken up by action text.

Pacing & Style
This story is somehow both showy and tell-y? There are multiple instances of action text telling what the following dialogue then shows. This is a little repetitive as is the use of a few phrases. Some broader word choices could clear this up remarkably. Pacing is a tad slow at the beginning and lends the piece a very atmospheric feel. It picks up after Spike starts to provide advice, and then seems to jump again during the conversation with Celestia. You could adjust this by adding in a few lines about the environment, and provide a sort of speed bump to slow the reader experience. You might also want to remove or tweak the parts where both Spike and Celestia stop Twilight from being her neurotic self. Kudos though, on the 'bury the lede' throw in though. I had to look that one up and that's a rare occurrence for me these days. Ending is predictable and feels a little abrupt, but is otherwise perfectly fine.

Overall
This is quintessential Twilestia. It hits all the right notes of the ship and adheres to the spirit of the prompt with a nice twist in Celestia's response. It feels very much like pre-alicorn Twilight/early seasons Twi and Spike. (Because it is. I just noticed the use of ‘unicorn.’) Celestia is very mom-like, unflappable, but she lacks the essential enigmatic nature of an ancient god-horse. She’s a bit too grounded and practical. She turns down Twilight’s affections in a very understated, mature way that is honestly refreshing. Celestia, for all of Twilight’s build-up, unfortunately falls flat. It’s not a bad characterization, but she feels perfunctory and almost cookie cutter of other similar types of worldwise characters. She doles out advice that is practical but not particularly tailored to Celestia’s style or who she is doling it to. While the ending feels abrupt, it still conveys a good message of their relationship continues on, even if it's not in the way Twilight might have wished.

Scores

Writing Mechanics
4 There were a few minor issues but nothing that a pass or two with a proofreader/editor couldn’t clean up.

Writing Style
5 I want to stress that this is subjective. The story hit all the right notes in the right order, but it didn’t ever really sing to me.

Adherence to the Prompt
3 Twilight certainly puts Celestia on a pedestal when it comes to her view of her former teacher and how she feels unworthy. Celestia’s characterization however, falls a little short of displaying why she should be on the pedestal.

Originality
1 As I mentioned, this is the quintessential Twilestia set up: Bookhorse loves Goddesshorse, stresses over expressing those feeling through a letter.

The Feels
4 Twilight is earnest, but Celestia’s lackluster performance puts a damper on the feels really coming across.

Overall Quality
6 Compared to the usual stuff we get on this site, it’s pretty well put together and exicuted with only a few flaws that easily addressed.

Bonus Points
3 Celestia telling Twilight she doesn’t have romantic feelings to return is, frankly, unusual in the Twilestia crowd. The fact that she does it in a smooth, natural way that comforts Twilight that it’s not the end of the world, and hey, maybe one day… That makes this standout from the rest of the ship base if nothing else.

Total: 26

5839747 Good to know I'm still a terrible writer. After the judging has been completed, and I get last, I'm going to delete the story and leave this group. Nothing against any of you, it was a mistake to write it in the first place, just like everything I've ever done in my life has been a mistake. Sorry for wasting everybody's time and energy on this piece of shit's attempts at story-telling.

5839892
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Deleting the story a leaving the group is a disservice to everyone. These contests are about getting writers new and old to try something. The group is better for your contribution, and I would hope that you can take the time you spent on it as productive for that reason alone. We all start somewhere with our writing and the only way forward is to practice.

5839924 Well I'm going to. Never should have wrote it in the first place. I knew it was shit, and I published it anyway. What kind of feeble-minded moron publishes something they know is shit!? Literally debating deleting my entire library at this point.

5839974 What the hay. It's a nice little story! Just because it's not amazing doesn't mean people haven't enjoyed reading it.

5840181 Like I said, I never should have written it. And I don't like the story myself. I'm doing my best not to be rude or anything. But this has been a full day of signs leading me to believe that I should delete the story, delete my library, delete my account, and delete my existence. That probably sounds insane, and you're probably thinking "who the fuck does this guy think he is", but I don't care. I'm not capable of taking criticism, so I should probably stop inviting criticism.

5840214 I'm sorry you're having a bad day. If taking the story down will make you feel better, please do it. I am familiar with the feeling of hating one's own work, there's a couple of mine I sometimes debate about pulling. I do hope things look up for you soon.

5839924
5840247

Upon further thought, I admit that I over-reacted to the initial situation. I do not take criticism well at all, and I know that that doesn't make sense given my attempts at writing. So I don't know what I'm going to do with this story, as every time I see it, I will probably be reminded of this and how terrible I feel/felt. Again, sorry for wasting everyone's time.

5840304
Again, I don't think you wasted anyone's time. I certainly get being invested in how your story is received, especially in a competitive environment. For what it's worth, I also enjoyed reading your story. It's not perfect, there are things that could be polished to make it shine, but it's worth reading.

The biggest reason why I like running these contests is seeing new stories get published. We all love to see new submissions and I want to thank you for being part of it. If you really feel compelled to take down your story after this, I would encourage you to unpublish it, not delete it.

Here are my notes, review and score for the third entry: Stepping Off by SPark

Notes & Review

Hook & Presentation
Uses the prompt in the description. Cover art implies a literal take on the prompt. Description is minimal with a hook that works like good clickbait, i.e.: what did Celestia tell Twilight about being put on a pedestal?

Technical
Zilch: It’d take a better editor than I to find anything wrong here.

Pacing & Style
The pacing is just a hint on the quick side, but it works in this story’s favor that it remains consistent throughout the whole 2.5K length. It’s urgent without being breakneck and the small time-skip keeps it from tripping up while waiting on Celestia to finish her princess business.

Overall
This is pitch perfect. It addresses both the literal interpretation and the spirit of the prompt in a very realistic way that, frankly, gobsmacked me. Characterization for both Twilight and Celestia is spot on. I really liked the idea of the romance angle being pushed to the background while Celestia did her actual job as Princess of Equestria. The comedy is actually funny, in character, and timed just right.

Scores

Writing Mechanics
5 I found no faults.

Writing Style
8 I have no pre-existing knowledge of the story line/verse that this is potentially a part of from the author. I am also not a fan of the ‘well meaning prankster’ fannon version of Celestia and neither of those factors detracted from my enjoyment of this.

Adherence to the Prompt
5 From the cover art to Twilight’s first scene, her concerns about others putting her on a pedestal and Celestia’s referencing that to the way Twilight used to put her on a pedestal...yeah, this adheres.

Originality
4 I would categorize this as a ‘Twilight settling into her Princess-hood’ style story. Now that we’re a few seasons out from her coronation and her taking on her own student, I would say these types of stories where she is finding more common ground with Celestia are on the rise, but still fairly new and rare compared to the glut of former student and fresh princess focused stories.

The Feels
7 Comedy is hard, romance is hard, cute is pretty easy. Cute comedy romance that doesn’t make you want to vomit is really hard, but this story pulls that delicate balancing act off and will make you gurnning like a fool from start to stop.

Overall Quality
8 When the biggest negative you can come up with is ‘I wish it was longer’, then you have a gem on your hands. It is short, but nothing is wasted and every word and turn of phrase is built for maximum enjoyment.

Bonus Points
3 The line ‘I put my horseshoes on one at a time, like any pony’ made me really laugh and reminded me - specifically - of a Beetle Bailey comic strip, of all things. There are several good jokes in here, but that phrase made off with my sides.

Total: 40

Here are my notes and review for the second entry: Celestia Wants to do Naughty Things to Twilight Sparkle by JKinsley.

Notes & Review

Hook & Presentation
Apologies for “vanilla” lesbian horse sex...wtf? The description is “exactly what is says on the tin” levels of blunt. Given that this is a clopfic, that’s probably for the best, but it kind of kills the hook part. Still, it is serviceable and lets you know what to expect without giving it all away.

Technical
After the editing and proofreading pass, this has nothing that will jump out and slap you out of the story. However, there is a lot of POV shifting and with the slow pacing it can sometimes catch you by surprise and confuse who is licking whose winking horse clit.

Pacing & Style
A little quick at the start. The story wastes zero time getting to the point, but that can be slightly excused as it IS part of a larger story line/verse. Once the actual action starts up the pace slams on the breaks for a slow burn type of feel. It works thanks to the focus on the emotions of Celestia and Twilight, rather than explicit clop material.

Overall
This is an above average entry in the clop section of the Twilestia ship. It avoids a lot of the blushing virgin tropes while still managing to convey two characters that are by no means practiced at the sex. While the action lacks the electricity of a good lovemaking session, it instead has the sweet tenderness of lovers getting to know their partners, which is something of a rarity in the clop on this site.

Scores

Writing Mechanics
4 Other than a few unclear POV shifts in the middle section, everything is golden.

Writing Style
7 The style is much more toward emotion and implication, rather than explicit, raunchy action. It has a bodice-ripping erotica feel to it that is rather pleasant.

Adherence to the Prompt
3 To be fair, both mares here are sort of putting each other on pedestals, but as this was partially written well before the contest and prompt, it feels a little flimsily tied to the prompt. It worked out that we got some good lesbian erotica, but the prompt feels more like an excuse here.

Originality
3 We don’t get a lot of Twilestia erotica that is free of fetish stuff, futa, and/or spicy mayonnaise, so there’s that. We do, however, get a lot of strong mature stories with this ship that do a lot of the same things here.

The Feels
9 This is pumped to the brim with the feels. It feels realistic and ernest from both parties and ends on a contented note.

Overall Quality
8 The writing is strong, the pacing is appropriate and the emotions are right on target. The sex action is more than good, but it does feel just a little mechanical and perfunctory at times. This doesn’t really detract from the story, but at the same time, some of it could be cut out with no adverse effect to the story.

Bonus Points
2 Mixing in actual horse anatomy into clop has two possible effects: derailing the whole reading experience or being a neat use of silliness in an otherwise serious event. This is thankfully the later.

Total: 36

5831400 5836262 5837545
Now that the judging is finished, I'd like to formally declare the contest over and congratulate SPark! 5839183 told me that comparing each apples to apples wasn't really possible. Each of them did something different and special, and that deserves its own recognition.

I want to thank everyone for being part of this! As always, it's a real treat to see what our group can come up with, and I sincerely to see more in the future!