Now that you're here, you'll notice that there is actually no alcohol here. It was a clever ruse to lure you in.

I notice that it is not uncommon to find stories where one or several characters get their hands on some alcohol and soon engage in shenanigans. It's most common in comedies, but I have seen cases in most genres at some point or another.

Sometimes boozing is just a small joke in a single chapter, sometimes it's a running element of a chapter, and sometimes it is at the center of the story. But regardless of the size of the role it plays, more often than not I find myself rolling my eyes and wondering if the writers have ever actually seen a drunk person or if they're just trying to imitate drunkenness as they know it from bad movies. I understand that alcohol effects people differently, and that even different types of alcohol can have a large difference on the same person. But when Rarity starts running screaming through town after a glass of wine, it just makes it look like the author doesn't actually know what they're talking about.

So I would like to use this coalition of minds to put together a "Getting Ponies Drunk for Dummies" with some do's and dont's and general words of advice. Share some stories where it's done right or wrong, maybe have a snifter of whiskey while you're at it if you're still upset that there wasn't any alcohol here.

*Alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes people act silly after a point, that's a fact. But unless you have someone with the alcohol tolerance of a dehydrated toddler, it takes more than one beer to get there.

*Mood swings can happen, of course. Just not as sudden as going from laughing and hugging someone to threatening to kill them.

Take it from there, you adorable drunks, you.

Hey.

Heyheyhey.

Hey.

Shaddafuckup about us bein' drunk allatime, you..

You...
...
you...
...
...
...
Whaddahell were we talkin' 'bout, again?

749811

ooohkay dude... dude.... dude.... y-you're drunk, okay?

G-Gimmie 'dos key-s... I'm ganna uuhm... drive.

749839

You?!

You couldn' t drive...
...
...
...
Shit. Gimme a sec.
...
You...
...
...
You couldn't drive something driveable!

Well, one beer and my dad's cheeks go red, he laughs too much, gets real happy, and real drunk. By the by, he has a beer belly, even though he doesn't drink much, and he looks like anything like a lightweight. It's weird.

749868

Beer. Bah.

I refuse to drink anything that enters and leaves my body looking roughly the same.

749794

It is actually possible for some people to get drunk after one or two beers. There are just some people with incredibly low tolerance for alcohol.

Fukkin

Asakoq,les

Godamann

Boooaze ismagicms

Alcohol is a small Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid (that's me, by the way) releaser. The most important unspecific inhibiting neurotransmitter in the central nervous system.

Hint: The brain's inhibition center is the first to be inhibited. This is why you get "loose" before becoming annoying.

Suffice to say that when you're drunk, you'll never be "doing things you wouldn't normally do". On the contrary, you do things you WANT to do, but is "afraid" to.
So, if you declare yourself to be gay, I've got bad news sunshine.

749811
That is cannabis, not ethanol.

Whenever I drink, I get make this massive farts. Just like Farticus Maximus the Flatulent Pony.

Naw, I just didn't shamelessly self-promote...

When I consume a certain amount of alchohol, I get the crazy idea that I can consume more. It's called...er... what did my girlfriend call it? Oh yeah, stupidity.

In seriousness though, drinking seems like it makes you want to do more. Not just drinking, but smoking, eating, talking, peeing, etc. I know that when I drink, I smoke like a damn chimney.

It also seems that most authors who use alchohol in their stories don't know the difference between a buzz and full-on tits-out blitzed.

I know that there are happy drunks, sullen drunks, angry drunks, and emotional drunks, they're just not all the same person. That can change with different alchohols, though. A friend of mine can drink beer all night and be happy and cheerful, but you give him an ounce of bourbon, and goodnight, Saigon.

I rarely drink, and when I do, It's dry cider (Strongbow, you magnificent bastard) with an occasional shot of something stronger. It's not wise to mix alchohols too much.

What gets me is how folks write hangovers. some of them are hilariously over-dramatic.

Twilight woke up to the stark cruelty that was daylight. Her face felt like it was going to explode.

What the hell did you drink?!

One final note: Bacon is the ultimate hangover food. All kneel before the messiah that is bacon.

750722 Thumbs up for "strategically shaved."

750326

I wrote a story in which Twilight and Pinkie get completely wrecked, but I have a legitimate reason for Twilight's extreme hangover- Pinkie made a bowl of punch for the two of them, but accidentally used hard cider as the base and then added a small bag of salt, thinking it was sugar...

751890 Ouch, dehydration overload. That's legit, though.

I'm talkin about the folks who think that a beer or two is going to have you cursing the day you were born next morning. There's lightweights, and then there's folks who shouldn't be drinking.

Another thing to note that I've seen in a few fics: What ponies do to rid themselves of the hangover. Drinking an ass-ton of water with no food after a night of hard drinking may seem like a good idea... It is not. It's important to rehydrate, but gulping down three glasses of water consecutively isn't going to make you feel better. Drink water or juice (stay away from soda), eat a hearty breakfast (bacon, as previously mentioned, is awesome. Waffles, too.) and overcome the hangover slowly but surely. Hair of the dog isn't recommended.

753355

I used a spell n this case, cast when Twilight was given a spare moment of relief until the jackhammer started up again. Not specifically an 'anti-drunk' spell, just a pain relief spell.

Then she had a big bowl of granola when it kicked in.