Scootaloo 2,575 members · 3,273 stories
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tell me what you think and how this might work

So essentially each tribe has their own magic (unicorn - magic manipulation, earth ponies - strength and farming abilitys, and Pegasi - flight and weather control) but very rarely a pony will be born and their magic will be suppressed, meaning no flight, no strength and reduce farming talent, and almost no magic.
The reason for this is that these ponies have magic that naturally manifest as combat based magic and in this way it's stronger then what normal ponies can achieve in combat magic.

There is a trigger that holds these ponies back, this trigger could be anything, there's even been cases where the trigger was having the ponies magic removed and returned (only a princess has the legal authority to deem this necessary or to do it)

You probably know where I am going withe this but...

The last combat orientated deity or C.O.D died tend years after Nightmares baneshment and none have been seen since...
Until a week after Tireks attack when something attacksimilar pony ville elementry and this makes Scootaloo instinctively call on her own combat magic and reavel that she is a C.O.D and why she can'take fly. Maybe she even gets her cutie mark?

I just thought this could be cool.

edit: they are referred to as C.O.D because ponies thought they were gifts from the gods

Scootaloo96
Group Contributor

5909942 Sounds interesting. So I'm guessing it would be pre cutie mark?

5909981 yeah
I mostly want to see what people think before I write it

Scootaloo96
Group Contributor

5909996 I would give it a read but with these sorts of stories they need to be written perfectly

RaylanKrios
Group Admin

5909996 first Scootaloo96 is right, if you want to write some kind of Scootaloo as chosen warrior fic the community will give you no quarter.

Secondly change the COD acronym, because fair or not its one step away from "then Scootaloo no scoped some newbs..."

5910206 I didn't even notice the code thing:rainbowhuh:
Thanks for pointing that out

Any ideas for a replacement?

RaylanKrios
Group Admin

I don't know, if i were writing this I'd be careful about deifing these ponies. Fighting doesn't appear to be a particularly prized skill in Equestria as we know it. I might call them something slightly perjorative, it depends on what the deal with them is.

Are they trained as a special force type thing? Or are they just expected to live normal lives and fight when called upon?

earth ponies - strength and farming abilitys,

It's nurturing, actually. Which is why they're better at farming... they nurture plants better. But it goes beyond that. They're also better with animal husbandry and such. Which I mention because of Fluttershy. She's sort of what you're thinking of for Scootaloo: a pegasus who is a weak flyer (except when the plot requires her to hulk out) who has a talent that falls outside of the norm. She's a pegasus with an earth pony talent. And as the stare shows, a strong one.

So perhaps, maybe in the past, there was another tribe of ponies (beyond the four we already have) whose talents leaned toward fighting/protecting. A lost tribe in whose domain Scootaloo's talent falls. Or perhaps, she's just a throwback to early pegasus history. We know from the HWE episode that the pegasus were militarily focused back then, so perhaps, way in the past, that was where their speciality was, and at some point, it changed to weather control. Making Scootaloo a throwback to the days of yore. You'd have to address the flight issue, with some story of how the pegasi got their wings and cloudwalking abilities, as otherwise it wouldn't make sense as to why Scootaloo's talent would come at the expense of flight, but as long as you do that with some ancient legend, you'd be off and running.

One suggestion: as opposed to tying it to Tyrek, why not go with the Starlight alternate Sombra history? That provides you with a war setting, one where ponies could use a hero with a talent for war. It also removes the Main-Six focus as the Heroes of Equestria, leaving you (mostly) free to forge your own path.

5910255 to fit this role you need a weak connection to your magic which means flutershy would not fit as her magic is just fine.
Also a Pegasus in this role wouldn'the be able to fly (scoots hover doesn't count)


5910253 these ponies were from a more paranoid age so they would have beenough praised and being one would be an honor
Also they would choose which of the paths you mentioned

RaylanKrios
Group Admin

5910295

these ponies were from a more paranoid age so they would have beenough praised and being one would be an honor

That kind thing reads like your trying to force this warrior culture thing on top of the Equestria we know; THIS ALMOST ALWAYS ENDS BADLY.

Mudpony's got the right idea, in that if you want to do it, best establish this as a big time alternate universe where the mane six aren't heroes.

5910421 I migot go with the mane six not being hero's
The point of the paranoid idea is that all the threats happening in the show would have been recent during the time that the Warriors (new name I thought of) are from... also the time where they were most well known was after the elements stopped working so that would cause some paranoia

I also thought that maybe all the villains are escaping from the place where the elements are banishing them to, making the elements not work.

This is why I posted this here, it helps me plan

RaylanKrios
Group Admin

5910443 I'm glad you're able to plan, you haven't yet told me how you plan to avoid making this another mary sue power fantasy fic.

5910498 I forget what 'Mary sue power fantasy fic' is exactly...
Villains will be powerful as well if that has anything to do with it...:scootangel:

Also the story will have a gore tag and rated teen? Mature? I'll get to the rating later
It will feature real style battle not fights where the worst injury is a bruis

(WARNING may include dismemberment and large amounts of death)

RaylanKrios
Group Admin

Villains will be powerful as well if that has anything to do with it..

It doesn't really.... If I'm reading your plan correctly it's that Scootaloo is a member of this super rare, super powerful combat magic wielding pony group.

That's a power fantasy, it's giving a character a tremendous amount of power arising from some natural circumstance. So even if the villains are powerfull and the fight scenes are visceral it's still Scootaloo using combat magic that we didn't know she has to save Equestria.

And if you want to write that fic, then fine....But be aware most readers on this site do not react kindly to that sort of thing, because there are A LOT of them, and they tend to be poorly written AND they tend to be boring. So if you think you're skilled enough to write Fighter-loo well, then go for it, though even the best of authors know there are tropes to stay away from.

If you'd like some ideas to help mitigate the inherent power fantasy here are some suggestions.

Scootaloo isn't some natural badass warrior, she realizes she can't fly but dedicates herself to training so she can still help defend Equestria.

Scootaloo is a natural badass warrior but it causes a lot of problems, ponies are scared of her, she has to train and go to school, even though she's got this natural talent using it is still hard and requires a lot of practice.

For the villains be careful that Scootaloo doesn't just overpower them with her awesomeness...outthinking them is a far more compelling story also having her sacrifice something in order to win makes for a compelling story too.

That's my two cents.

5910560 oh...
She just has an easier time with combat magic. Anyone can do it, it's just harder.

I think the best example of this is skyrims dragonborn and the thu'um.

I hope this cleared that up.

RaylanKrios
Group Admin

5911489 skyrim is a power fantasy (lots of videogames are).

Again i strongly urge you to reconsider the mechanics of this story.

5911579 alright...
She has to learn how to do the spells it just come easier to her

You know what, I will explain what I mean exactly

While most ponies have to shape their magic into combat magic the cast a spell scoots doesn'the need to shape her magic because that's the way it is.
Having to shape your magic increases the amount of magic used and weakens the spell
Scootaloo skips the first step and will have one spell that she instinctively knows and can use withouthe trying, that's what makes Warriors so special

RaylanKrios
Group Admin

We're going around in circles.

If you're writing a story where Scoots is special, and that specialness involves combat magic then its probably a power fantasy and you should be careful

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