Alright so this idea kind of a came to me a while back, while listening to the real song "Renegade" I would post a link to the song but. *Deep sigh* I'm typing this on my Xbox due to my families PC being used. And due to America's shitty economy at teh moment I'm having problems getting a job *Sigh*

But anywho! The story is called Renegade and if you haven't listened to the song I highly recomend it and if you have you might a have slight clue on what's this about! So let's get down to the plot shall we!

Jesse Robertson, is six foot one, brown hair, green eyed man. Who wears a nice brown Corduroy Jacket, and brown Trilby. He looked like your average day Joe!

But Jesse ain't no average day Joe, he killed over fourteen people. Robbed over thirty banks, he's been known to beat and rape women. And he's on the run, and has been for over four years now.

Jesse's on the run for four years now. He's been known to be one of America's most wanted criminals. He jipped dealers of their money, he robbed casinos in Vegas. He also even knows how to cheat a cheater at his own game. Jesse's been living the high life, he gots a reputation, money, women, you name it he's gots it!

At least he use to have all that stuff.

But Jesse finally fucked up, and I mean he fucked up bad. Real bad too, he was finally caught and taken to Prison.

Rockfellows Prison to be exact, located in the southern parts of Nevada, Hot as balls down there as Jesse likes to put it.

Filed for all his crimes Jesse was slammed into death row. Five months from now, but Jesse wasn't gonna die. No not yet, he stills has plans, goals, dreams! But also no one has been able to escape from Rockfellow before, not even once. They were either caught before hand, or shot on sight.

But Jesse wouldn't need a plan, because on the third month while he was in Prison. Something so bizzar happened that not even Jesse could explain.

When Jesse "Supposly" went to sleep on July 4th while the prison guards released the inmates outside to watch the firework show. Jesse encacted his plan, while the inmates were walking by his cell block. Jesse's trusty friend Big Joe (Who wasn't really big just a really short and skinny guy.) tossed a hair pin into his cell.

Jesse takes the pin and when everyone is outside he picks the lock, knocking out the guard Jesse goes and gets the keys at the other end of the cell block. He then moves to get his other companion Doc Needles (You don't want to know what the pshycotic German did to get that title.) from his cell, then he would move on to get Thiefy James, who was their in and out guy. If the boys needed something they could count on Thiefy James to get it for them.

While the inmates where enjoying the show Big Joe found his way back inside the Prison, while Thiefy James earlier was cleaning the armory while under the watchful eye of the guards. Big Joe who is also usually the decoy acted as if he was hurt. Distracting a few of the guards, Thiefy James was able to take one of the keys off the guards and smuggle four .357s from the armory sneaking out before he could get caught.

Now the four convicts were locked and loaded and ready to kick ass and get the Hell out of Rockfellows, they were even willing to die trying too. Yet they wouldn't need to do all that, despite how flawed their plan was they never needed to act upon it.

A bright flash of light engulfed the entire cell block, instantly Jesse felt himself become weightless. Despite his attmepts to fight the invisble force that was pulling him into the light, he wasn't able to stop it. So in the end he succumbed to the light.

What felt like a enternity, Jesse finally was able to hear voices. Two females talking over each other, the wierd thing though was there names. One kept calling the other Bon Bon rather excitedly too, while what Jesse guessed was Bon Bon who sounded paniced kept calling the other Lyra. Jesse was confused but before he could listen even further he fell unconcious.

When Jesse finally awoke he opened his eyes. Getting up he heard another groan looking over he see's his good trusty yet slightly pshycotic friend Doc Needles waking up too, so were the others all of them had a thumping head ache.

But instantly they all stopped when they spotted one thing, a candy colored pony sitting in a corner shivering in fear yelling out the name, "Lyra!"

The four convicts glared at it in shock, after shaking themselves out of their stupor they did the one thing they were good at.

Crime

Taking Bon Bon as hostage the four convicts than began the biggest crime spree in all of Equestrian history. What could possibly go wrong.

Sorry if I got a little carried away in typing I just like typing that prologue and part of the 1st chapter. Yeah but I'm almost done with the first chapter, and before posting I wanted to release this to see if anyone would actually enjoy this story.

This will be a comedy and slighty dark story, considered the fact that we got a Mobster, a Serial Killer, a Thief/murder, and a man that I will keep his past a mystery.

So post your feedback down bellow and I hope this catchs your interest!

This is an interesting idea so far.

But, because there is always one, before writing down your story you will have to set up the personnality of each of your "deadmen", like some profiling. People don't like to see characters jumping the gun and become friendzy for nothing, and we do know that serial killers are cold-blooded scheming bastards.

Similarly, i can say that a good story is the one who does not rely on only storyline with few development. A story about murderers can't only focuse on "killing, rampaging, raping, etc..." The fact is that the story takes place in Equestria, and that in Equestria, the main characters should remain the ponies (not that your killers do not have to be the center of attention, but that they are in a world which isn't their own).

But the idea is interesting. Let us see where this is going.

967375 Don't worry about it man, the story won't focus on just the three criminals it focus on the main six, criminals, and the princesses, oh and Bon Bon and Lyra.

Now for the criminals the first chapter, explains on how the main character who is Jesse Robertson became a criminal. Now the other three is sort of a mystery and you learn while the story goes... But yeah thinks 1st chapter should be up by tomorrow or some time this weekend.

967309
Now, not really going to comment on the idea, as it isn't the kind of story I'd ever go out and read.

Just offering a friendly reminder to make sure that you put in him getting to Equestria before you try to publish. If you don't have anything related to FiM by that time, it'll fail moderation.

I'd read it. I'm not too enthralled with the way the character's are set up (a little cliche perhaps?) but a crime spree through Equestria? Game on. Execute that in funny OR dark. I love the idea.