Edit: This post was written on April 1st, and posted while I was pretending to be Jake R. The opinions expressed in it may or may not be ones I share, and the language is definitely not language I would have used.

Every now and then, people will post asking about F/F ships, and which pony is the mare in that ship. But I just realized, we've never really talked about that in ships like SpikeDash, FlutterMac, FlashLight, and other straight ships. Who's the mare there? Who's the stallion? Well, I thought about it, and here are the answers for you guys:

Spike x Anypony or Anything, ever:
Spike is the mare. SpikeDash? Spike is Dash's bitch. Sparity? Spike is Rarity's bitch. Spike x Tom? Spike's the bitch for an inanimate object. Spike is the bitch when he jerks off. Somewhere there's a place where destinies are recorded for every character in Equestria, and Spike's is one word: Bitch. No questions: Spike is the mare.

Mac x Anypony:
Mac is a pretty big, tough, farmer type... but he's still the mare. Hell, he talks back less than Fluttershy, and you'd better bet that if he tried stepping up to Dash or Twilight he'd get a bitch slap for his troubles. Granny Smith and AJ trained him right, so he'll be a good little mare for his lady.

SoarinDash/ SoarinJack/ SoarinFire:
It's canon that Soarin is Spitfire's bitch, and Dash or AJ would clearly be the stallion if he went with them. Look at what a pussy Soarin was in Rainbow Falls, he didn't have the balls to stand up to Spitfire and Fleetfoot even after those mares kicked him in them. He'd fall right into that with Dash or AJ, so Soarin is clearly the mare.

FlashLight:
Twilight: Princess with tons of magic at her disposal, favorite of Princess Celestia, able to lead ponies to defeat massively evil bad guys. Flash: town cop in a backwater kingdom. Twilight could have him thrown in a dungeon for thinking about backtalking. Flash is the mare.

CheesePie:
Cheese Sandwich came to Ponyville to kiss Pinkie's ass. Pinkie is clearly the Head Bitch In Charge here, and Cheese is on pussy licking duty. Cheese is the mare.

Cadance and Shining Armor:
Shining is Cadance's bitch. Not only that, but she leaves him alone for ten fucking minutes and he finds some other ho to roll over for. Shining is clearly the mare in whatever relationship he's in.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake:
Not only is Mrs. Cake the stallion, she's got a pegasus bitch and a unicorn bitch on the side. Mrs. Cake is a pimp, yo. Mr. Cake isn't just the mare, he's the ho.

DisLestia/DiscoPie/DiscoShy:
If Discord isn't in the kitchen making these ladies some sandwiches, his ass is getting turned to stone. Discord is the mare.

Feel free to discuss why all the male characters in Equestria are bitches. Peace out.

3165358
Huh.

I actually agree that you make a valid point. And are correct.

Long live the Matriarchy, I guess?

Though Iron Will is never the mare, except with Equestria's most intense domme, Fluttershy. I can only assume he's not an Equestrian citizen.

3165358

Conclusion : the only difference between a Straight ship and a F/F ship is that one of them has a dick in it...

3165358

So mares (personality wise) are supposed to be timid, weaker, and subservient to the stallions?

3165358

Er, I think you forgot how much swag Spike has.

3165423
Nah, but someone in the relationship has to be the mare/bitch, right? Because otherwise the question of who's the mare in a ship like AppleDash would make no goddamn sense, now would it?

3165358 of coarse this is all from a western point of view, i see Equestria as a maternal society, controlled by females, in witch case the mare would be the dominate one in the relationship, and the stallion the submissive one.

3165565

should we doubt the logic of countless Shipping Dash writers?

Yes. Yes we should.

Shockingly, dominant people tend to be dominant. And submissive people tend to be submissive.

I can see how people would get confused though, with such a shocking revelation.

3165413
That explains all the futa fics. "It's just like a straight ship, guys. It's two feminine characters, but one has a penis."

3165413
3165856

There are straight ships?

3165358

I admit, I imagine Twilight saving Flash's bacon more than the other way around.

3165358

DisLestia/DiscoPie/DiscoShy:
If Discord isn't in the kitchen making these ladies some sandwiches, his ass is getting turned to stone. Discord is the mare.

I think you're completely misconstruing their relationship here.

Celestia has been running the kingdom for a thousand years while Discord is lying around stoned in the backyard, not helping at all, and even after he misbehaved, she refused to get rid of him for good.

I dunno, if someone is doing that to you, doesn't that make YOU the bitch?

3165444
I disagree. There doesn't always need to be an extreme power dynamic for a pairing to work. That sort of thinking is not conducive to a fulfilling relationship.

Having two strong assertive people actually works well together, as long as they match up in important areas such as ambition, intelligence, smarts, priorities, ethics, strengths/weaknesses and basic morality. Hence the Power Couple trope.

An extreme power dynamic is not the only dynamic that works. It's just not as easy for people to write. Real relationshisp are a mix of dom/sub in the sense of confidence. While Dash would likely avoid certain situation and activities, I can see Applejack picking up the slack where Dash might feel insecure.

3167071
Like how she also keeps saving Shining's?

3165889
Hahaha! IKR?

3165856
I don't like thinking of lesbians as femmes (lipstick) or butches, because that sort of dynamic is so limiting. It assumes that there is still a stereotypical feminine/masculine dynamic even if the two individuals involved are female. I prefer tachi/neko, the Japanese versions, or even tsundere and yandere, which allows women to still be feminine rather than short haired, boot rocking tomboys. Not that there's anything wrong with that.