Original Pairings 478 members · 676 stories
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I'll happily write for this. I assume when you say a story may not include OCs, that just means as part of the pairing, or as an important role? I tend to make throwaway OCs for simple interactions, like generic baker pony in Canterlot bakery or something.

I've published a story, just waiting until it's approved so I can submit it.
I don't know how long that usually takes, I really hope it's approved before the deadline. 😛

EDIT: It's up!

i'll probably write something for this it's not like i'm doing anything else

I'd love to join, I love ideas like this, but I'm really not sure I can write something of good quality in ten days without rushing it....

Alright. I found out about the contest (and this group) on the 19th, poked around using the search function, and came up with a pairing. I just finished the first draft of a story for the contest and I should have it submitted and into the folder in the next day or two.

Comin' in a little close to the deadline, but considering I found out about it after the contest originally was going to end, I'm not too upset about it. :rainbowdetermined2:

Well, I just found this because of me running across the mention on Silver's story, I could whip you up a story. (Or I could toss one of the other seven weird pairings I've done this month.)

Ok, I got super distracted by my other fics so I dunno if I'll have time to write a new one for this, so I'll just submit my one from the 24th. Trixie Celestia's is a rare ship. *Snickers* Well if you wanted you could have four, I've been doing odd pairings lately, because I too am odd.

Nope, I lied. Because I'm a crazy person have another strange pairing fic.

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  • As for the ending… there are three ways that I could interpret this: 1. Luna is secretly into dudes, 2. Luna fell for a reverse trap, or 3. Ocellus was lying and it was secretly her all along. I want to believe number three is the correct answer, because it seemed like how comfortable she was with Luna, it was only obvious that she would be the mare Luna met the night before. That would also explain why Donut Joe had a vajayjay, but there weren’t enough hints to make me think for sure that it wasn’t 1 or 2… but I’m still gonna believe number 3 was the correct answer anyway. Sorry if one of the other options was actually the correct answer or if what really happened just flew over my head.

Actually, the whole thing was that Ocellus, being unfamiliar with ponies, doesn't know that Donut Joe is a mare. Not even like a reverse trap, just a normal mare like all the others, and Ocellus is just missing something that is obvious to ponies. It's a meta joke where humans also see Donut Joe as an obvious stallion, and of course in canon, he is, but what if an "obvious stallion" to us is clearly a mare to ponies? Because different universe. I dunno, it was really dumb, and yeah, I certainly could have put more effort into it. Glad to see some more deserving stories than mine win, so congrats to them. Also glad you liked my dumb horse words though. Thanks for hosting this contest.

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Well, that makes this the first writing contest I've ever won (on FiMFiction or otherwise). I'm honored.

I've read through most of the other entries and the stories were all interesting and unique (which should be unsurprising given the nature of this contest). Reading those other stories has been very enjoyable. It makes me glad this contest happened, because it means that there are more creative stories on the site now. Hopefully it will inspire more people to write stories featuring original pairings.

I'm also happy that the contest helped me to find this group. I've already added a few of the other stories to my (admittedly too long) Read It Later list. If they're anything like the other contest stories, I'll need to make sure I make the time to read them.

Just a small note, when separating independent clauses, you want a comma before the conjunction.

You are correct. I forgot about that. I'll blame it on the fact that I regularly write in a foreign language and the comma rule in that case is the opposite (no commas before conjunctions), but considering that English is still my native language that's really just an excuse. :twilightblush:

However, I still would have taken out the scene right after that when the two of them are sleeping. That part didn’t seem to fit as well as the part before it.

I can see why you feel that way. I debated for a while about removing that scene. I wanted to include something that would 1. show the way the two were feeling about each other without having it conflict too much with their shy personalities and 2. not involve the two of them talking to each other about how they felt. If I'd given myself more time to work on the story, maybe I would have come up with something better, but I don't regret keeping it. I'm not afraid of cutting scenes, but this one felt like it added something to the story. I can't exactly explain what I think it adds, but I couldn't convince myself to cut it.

Thank you for taking the time to host this contest and for leaving such good feedback for all of us! I look forward to seeing what comes next from this group.

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  • The idea that Marble is attracted to new things seemed like it came out of nowhere. Not only did I not see it working too well with her personality (seeing as how it’s a depiction of spontaneity whereas Marble Pie is typically seen as reserved), but I also felt that there wasn’t enough backstory to it. I want to know in what ways being attracted to new things has affected her life, and being attracted to a new pony that she met didn’t feel like it was enough to justify it being a part of her normal personality.

I'm a bit confused here, so did you not like it because on a fundamental level you wouldn't accept it with how you view her personality or did you not like it because there wasn't more backstory?

  • The pairing stone seems to have a very pivotal part in this story, but it was only mentioned in two lines in the show. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to introduce what it is and why it’s so important to those who might not be as versed with it already.

Hehe, I learned that from the comments! :D

  • The narration seems to switch between Marble’s thoughts and Autumn Blaze’s thoughts, which is a little jarring to the reader. Even when writing in third person, it’s important to pick one character to be the narrator while telling the story. HOWEVER! That last chapter was the perfect way to segue the narration to someone else. There was a new scene established where the main character was not present, which easily allows the reader to understand that there’s a new narrator telling the story.

Hehe, heard that one before! Unfortunately, since that's just how I write it's probably not going to change. ^.^

  • There were times when the narration seemed to go off on a tangent, which would be perfectly acceptable for Autumn Blaze, but not so much for Marble. Example: “She wanted to run her hooves through that curly mane!... Through Autumn Blaze's curly mane, not Pinkies. Though she did love Pinkie's mane, it was so soft, she had taken multiple naps on it when they were foals.”

I like to crack jokes whenever I can. ^.^

  • The scene where they’re on the balcony happens too fast. They had just barely met two minutes ago, and now they’re cuddling with each other? This makes Marble seem two-faced, seeing as how reserved she is throughout the story and how forward she is in this scene, and it also makes Autumn Blaze sound like a pervert who’s willing to make out with the first cute pony who shows signs of interest towards her.

Now this one I'm curious about did the cultural comments about the kirin not taking relationships as serious commitments not waylay that issue? Hehe, and on Marble's side, you need to make more dumb decisions that you instantly regret it sounds like. :D Also probably comes from me seeing how cuddly they are in the show and translating that into cuddling is not that big a deal to them, but that's more headcanon.

  • The word precious was used 35 times. The story is only 2,584 words long. That means that out of every 74 words, precious was one of them. Plus, I personally can’t see Celestia calling anyone by that name, even her royal consort.

It did! I like to pick weird themes for my stories! (I never said they were good themes.) Like how in my other one every title is the first spoken dialogue (usually by Marble but obviously not the last chapter.)

  • Speaking of consorts, I had to double-check the definition to make sure I had it right. They’re getting married after one night of being drunk and opening up to each other? That does not make for a good romance. If there was a history between the two that was explained, I could understand it coming so abruptly, but all the information I have is 1. She performed for the princess, 2. She got drunk, 3. Now they’re getting married. If this were the start of a relationship (not even a romantic one as much as the two growing closer to each other), I think it would have worked much better.

Ahh, this is just a cultural thing. When you looked it up you got the European nobility definition. I actually was thinking of Imperial China when I used consort. But maybe I should go change it to concubine because that'll put a better picture in most people's minds. I was -not- intending for them to have been married.

But anyway! YAY! ^.^ I write oddly, I know. But an aspect of that is perfect for this contest because I write odd things too! :D

Third Place: “A Fateful Letter” by R1FB

Wahoooo!


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Gabby and Terramar? Both highly underutilized characters, in my opinion.

Say it again for the people in the back!

I’m honestly impressed with the way you made an instant connection between Gabby and Terramar. I guess I should have guessed that the CMC would be the link between the two of them, but the way you made it happen seemed so natural!

I got so excited when I noticed that Gabby and Terramar both knew the CMC – that was when I knew that my idea could actually result in a great story.
The first conversation between the two was a blast to write. I'm embarassed to say how late I stayed up writing that part. 😛

I noticed that you used double-spacing when separating paragraphs except for when Gabby said something internally. It’s not bad, per se, but I personally think it would have been more aesthetically pleasing to add the extra line of space in those places too.

Duly noted. I'll definitely try that out and see which one I prefer.

This was a really fun, really cute slice of life story, but at the same time, I wouldn’t say that it was groundbreaking.

[...] make every event matter in the progression of the story.

I agree with the entire paragraph, especially these two parts. I'll chalk that up to things I'll learn with experience.

You did a fantastic job with Gabby! I can easily see her personality shining through as you wrote this story.

In the end, you should feel very proud of this story. It was honestly very well done.

😊

Thank you so much for hosting this contest! The theme instantly reminded me of that comment of mine and inspired me to write my first story. It was a very enjoyable experience and I doubt I'll ever forget it.

"What's Up YOUR Butt?" was unironically pretty funny. Titling it so abusurdly was a genius move too, since it attracted me (and I assume a few others as well) to this competition.

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I kind of realized that my response might have come off a little harsher than I meant. I always like to debate my stories! ^.^ But I'm starting to get sick and that might have made me into a little bit of a grouch. I will also add...

It’s difficult to find similarities for these two to establish a common bond, and I can really respect Jhoira for making it happen.

EEEE! ^.^

And I do think I can go back and rework that porch scene a bit... But I did kind of write this the before the contest ended *Cough.* Also, you got me to go and start writing a little prequel that focuses on Marble Pie! Hope that'll make my Marble seem a bit more believable! I'll shoot you when I'm done. ... I mean... Shoot you a link... Yes... A link... <.< >.> (Just so we're all clear that was a joke! I have no intentions of murdering anyone!)

Edit: Yeah, I'm crazy, here's that Marble story. Losing Her Marbles

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