Title: Lady Bugs and Mother Bugs

Summary: 

A short story revolving around our one and only bug queen, in which she ponders her failings and what it means for the rest of the Changeling Race.

Analysis:

This is the author’s first story written and published on our wonderful site FimFiction.net. 

For his first outing they decided to take a crack with Chrysalis being the ‘villain of circumstances’ idea, and by that I mean she does what is needed for the benefit of her hive, or some other goal. She is only evil because of her actions, but they are made with the intent to preserve her hive for another week, month, year, and ect. This of course leads to confrontation where her actions are rightly countered, but that isn’t the meat and potatoes of this story- it’s the emotion. 

Because of the story’s length, I won’t dive into every detail out of fear it will ruin the story’s intent, and with that said let us continue. 

This version of Chrysalis is one I’ve seen before, in which she as the queen is the ‘mother’ to her hive even if she’s not related to them. Thus, the actions taken by her are viewed with the mindset it is for the betterment of her children, even if it means going to great lengths other species would consider immoral. One of the things I liked the most about this story was how it explained her reasonings for taking these actions, when many like to point out she could have talked it out with the Princesses; in her mind, sharing love means to be dependent on the ponies and other creatures for your food.

Logically, this makes sense because when one controls a needed resource another needs, that individual or group sets the demands, and thus holds the power. Chrysalis sees what Thorax is doing, and is worried not only should the princesses ever decide to rid themselves of the Changelings, but Love isn’t a stable resource in the long term- it's dependent on outside factors. The world at the end of Season 9 seemed happy and go lucky, but what if things are set in motion and we end up with a Fallout: Equestria style world?

How much love would Changelings be able to gather, let alone find creatures willing to share it with them for nothing? 

While her methods can be considered outdated, Chrysalis, like many in our world, clinging to the old ways in which they were brought up because either it has always worked, or offers a stable enough solution until something more permanent could be found to replace the old ways. In this case, our queen doesn’t have any new solution, but sees it as the only way for her race to remain independent instead of being at the whims of others.  

There is more emotion to this story, but this I feel is enough to project a good enough idea of what kind of character Chrysalis is, and will leave it here. Our Author has started another story that is to be a sequel in a possible bigger setting, and this was one of the rare stories I’m willing to favorite and see where it takes me.

Rating: 9/10

Additional:

Another aspect of this story that I enjoyed more was the word usage. The way the sentences and paragraphs were written showed me that the author has a good grasp and an understanding of the English Language that most seem to forget. This isn’t me criticizing the other writer’s abilities, but its a clear enough distinction to tell the difference between skill levels so to speak.

EX:
Twilight Series

Lord of the Rings Series

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― The Fellowship of the Ring

Dune Series

“Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense, But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.”

These three snippets of writings were written decades apart, and while writing is subjective for every reader, it’s easy for many to read something and know if its good or bad. I am picking on the Twilight Series for this example, so take my comparison with a suspension of disbelief. I won’t share my opinions on which quote or quotes I like. I leave them here as a way to show how the writings of each book series can completely change one’s interpretation of expectations. 

The author’s first story, while a bit short and possibly cliche at certain times, is written well enough with a premise in mind that leaves me confident enough to give his other story a chance.

Thank you for this review, I honestly forgot I even sought for this story to be reviewed!

I also wish to thank you for your point regarding my usage of English in this story, often when I look back on this story I regularly feel as if my skill in writing and English was insufficient for the story that I wanted to share. Hearing what you said about my usage of English gives relief to some concerns of mine, so, thank you, again. Yes, I know, I'm getting repetitive.

Also, in regards to the next story, I suggest you do not take it's current form as the final form of it. I published it on a whim and didn't exactly plan anything greater for it at the time. However, now that I have actually rested on it, I was able to plan a story and write chapters for it and it's following continuations.

I plan on releasing the rewrite next year, since I couldn't do it this year because of military service. If you were to be still interested at the time of its republishing, I suggest you pass by it to check it out. I plan to continue my focus on emotions, aswell as treating matters of morality, philosophy, psychology and destiny. I am greatly inspired by the epics of the Greeks, so that should give you a general enough picture of how this story will go.

Thank you, for the last time, for this complete review and have a good one!