TThe Haunting of Carousel Boutique

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Drama
• Horror

Rarity has been keeping to herself lately. Applejack is determined to find out why.

• Applejack
• Rarity

mushroompone · 33k words  ·  155  6 · 2.6k views

Reviewing: The Haunting of Carousel Boutique

Summary: It's a Haunting creepy Boutique.

Review: It does have some creepy vibes which is so good that’s all in chapter 2 and further however, the beginning was alright, start to get to the next chapter and then you get hooked.  Geez hopefully none of us get cursed when reading this fiction and have nightmares muahahahahahaha!!!!!

Things about that I didn’t like…  Some stuff were entered too much where you could place a … for a pause or a , in chapter 2, 3,4,5… the grammar might be questionable just for too many enter’s and sentences without periods and commas perhaps.  That is the most weird thing I've ever seen in fiction.  Unless that was a letter and it should have been slanted. Which they weren’t.

Now this is just my opinion and I think this fiction deserves at least a 8/10.  It does have a creepy touch to the story which I liked but it still needs a little more work to get me frightened. Also some of the parts need to be more detailed like chapter 3,4 just a little bit.

7587803
Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it - 8/10 seems like a good score to me.

I have to say I'm a little disappointed in the lack of detail in this review. I submit to groups like this so I can learn, after all! I like to hear what people liked (or did not like) so I can make adjustments and improve my writing skills. There really isn't enough meat here for me to make any meaningful changes... your first paragraph is mostly a joke, your second seems to be a misunderstanding of an intentional stylistic choice, and the third makes reference to "wanting more detail", but doesn't elaborate enough for me to actually make changes. If you did want more detail, I'd love to hear about what other details you were hoping for, so that I could elaborate a little.

Again, I'm flattered by the score and glad you enjoyed the story! But I was hoping for a little bit more in terms of your review. I can't act on this feedback - it's just too vague

7587845

Like something like this

Just

and then

^ like no periods and this is what I meant enters gaps...

scrolling down to read with one word with no period things like that I never seen before in a fiction.

Usually all my elaborate is always the second post.