EEven More Awesome Than Me

• MLP: FiM
• Sad
• Slice of Life

Yakyakistan is a cold place, and Scootaloo is starting to find that the chill is cutting deeper than she expected.

• Rainbow Dash
• Scootaloo

Emotion Nexus · 1.4k words  ·  58  2 · 638 views

The story in its shortness manages to reach and hold on to some particularly good feelings. First there is the fact that our protagonist, Scootaloo, is clearly sad.

But her sadness is not for long, her friend Rainbow Dash managed to send her a letter with inspiring words and a cheer up, exactly what the little filly needed.  So what is in for the reader? While it is an uplifting and good natured fic it unfortunately lacks depth as well as tragedy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should have her killed or anything like that, just that the lack of tragedy makes the uplifting less valuable. Maybe I’m just too cold hearted but in the end in this particular case RD is just a friend to Scootaloo so her absence is not something I would say is too much of a hindrance on her daily life. 

I dare say the fact that she is not with her aunt is more of a sad story then RD’s absence. So to conclude, for the reader you can read a decent uplifting story albeit not one I would put down as a masterpiece. 

SCORE

Core Idea: 6/10 A bit overused of an idea with nothing more to spruce it up.

Pacing: 8/10 A good work there, there is emotion and heart in the character clearly the sign of effort.

Grammar: 10/10 The story does a good job in making you feel the loneliness of Scootaloo as well as her craving for having friends. Puts you in the perspective of what she should do, she used mementos and souvenirs to fill that loneliness. 

Final score: 8/10 A good work, shows potential but still lacks experience. For the Author, You did good but I would argue you could have done better by explaining the circumstances around the scenes, like how and why is Scoot there, and also why aren’t ponies visiting, I mean we saw they can so why can’t they? In any case it was a good read. 

At least she can fly. Not many do that, you are quite courageous.