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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A brutal attack on a caravan draws the attention of a powerful warrior.The spartan kicks off with the recollection of the past by the narrator of the story, a pony who lives in the wasteland of Equestria, he starts his tale with a famous quote, that the strong never dies they just go missing in action. The story is fairly short, barely 1500 words long so I shall avoid saying too much but it is very strict and short on details, the fighting scene is over before it could even begin and mostly is there to portray the coming of said Spartan.
The story ends with Garment, the narrator, being given by the Spartan his gun and sword to continue his legacy stating that his time was long overdue. He accepts and then nothing it ends.
The story is for those who just want some short lived excitement with some ass pounding but it’s not really something that will keep you glued to the monitor. That being said it shows that the author poured some thought into it and that is commendable by itself.
Scores!
Core Idea: 8/10 not extremely original but not that overused, only thing that is a common sight is the Fallout equestria universe and Halo.
Grammar: 7/10 Needs some adjustments to the overall flow of the phrases to be felt less mechanical, other than that it needs some minor check for spelling errors.
Pacing: 7/10 Pacing is there but it goes out of the window fairly quickly with a battle solved in seconds and the overall decision of the Spartan to give what he owns to a pony he just encountered.
Final Score: 7.3/10 not bad but also not extremely good, it needs some polishing and some words in it. For the Author continue writing and improving never rest until what you do is good in your eyes.
Thank you for reviewing The Spartan, glad you found it enjoyable. I shall take this feedback to heart and apply it to the rest of my stories and perhaps it sequel (If I ever get to it).
Tempestus