TThe Previous Best Night Ever

• MLP: FiM
• Drama
• Slice of Life

The Grand Galloping Gala plays an immense and important role in the social and political life of Equestria. Sometimes in a very unexpected way. In a way that would affect the future for many years forward.

• Alt. Universe
• Celestia
• Other
• Night Light

SabreTheRedMane · 5.1k words  ·  17  3 · 761 views

By SabreTheRedMane

Summary:
The Grand Galloping Gala plays an immense and important role in the social and political life of Equestria. Sometimes in a very unexpected way. In a way that would affect the future for many years forward.

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

My first thoughts:
This short was different from how I have usually seen Celestia portrayed. Sure she is often seen as scheming and with her long lived knowledge of the world and very good at getting what she wants, but Sabre put a different spin on it with the powers Celestia has other than just her talent of raising the Sun. We are very much within Celestia's head here, descriptive and thoughtful as she prepares for another Grand Galloping Gala some few number of years before her Nightmare Moon returns, 15-20 or so years before the show begins I would guess (the year is never really mentioned, but this is important). We see a younger Nightlight as well, a former student of Princess Celestia, as they chat, along with other ponies that are part of Celestia's schemes.

Did I like it?: Yes and no, part of this I will go into more detail below but to start, it really STRUCK at my views on writing styles and made the English Major in me think hard on how I have been taught writing all my academic years. This has now started to haunt me, but that isn't the authors fault, their story was just the first where this style stood out enough to me to make me notice, and now I see it in my current published book I am reading as well.
As for the rest of the story in general, yes I did like it. The ideas for Celestia's powers seemed different from others I have read, such as literally being able to see her little ponies souls, and knowing how she can help them help her make Equestria a better place with such power. The descriptions of said power were interesting, and well detailed.

What I didn't like:
The main things that made me not love it were mostly grammatical errors, which reading the comments I find English is not Saber's native language, which would explain most of these, and some of the stylistic grammar choices. Having been an English Major at college and the more so 'academic writing' rather than 'creative writing' styles being drilled into my brain by my teachers and professors, this is mostly their fault as this particular stylistic choice went against what they taught for academic writing. I will get into that in the spelling/grammar section below though.

Heart/Setting:
I can feel that Saber was able to get into Celestia's head quite well here, and this is what gave the story its heart. We could see she cared for her little ponies, and wanted to make the world the best place she could for them. With her immortality and eldritch goddess self, she was able to manipulate events to her advantage, her view of the best Equestria had to offer. At times her strengths and being able to read and feel emotions so well almost made me think she would turn out to be a changeling in disguise in the end (Maybe not so spoilery), but I enjoy how it went even still. (Not going to spoil the ending!) With how Saber set the scenes, I could almost feel myself there through Celestia's eyes, her powers allowing her to see so much, yet sometimes confusing ponies for others in their family line, if only in her head, as she had known the current pony, along with their parents and grandparents and so on down the line. The Grand Galloping Gala was splendid and brought to mind what Celestia might have been thinking about in the show canon's Galas we do see.

Characterization:
The Main cast we see are Princess Celestia herself, of course, along with Night Light- Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle's father.
Princess Celestia feels different yet the same as her canon show self here. Much that isn't covered in the show, Saber has gone through here. We really see deep into Celestia's mind and how she is always scheming and micro-managing her Equestria, along with all its little ponies.

She always knew. Knew who to introduce to each other. Who should be kept apart. Who needs an advice, and who to encourage by silence. But beside a puzzle with hundreds of swaying kaleidoscopes, she also studied thousands of files. Files, meticulously compiled by the Royal Security Service.

With this quote, it shows how deeply involved she was with everyponies lives, going so far as to construct files on them all to help her know how to lead each of them on the path she felt right for them. I kind of like this Celestia, we see her not as just the sweet, protective, fiery, beloved leader we know in show, but also a kind of 'big sister' knowing everything and everycreature down to the littlest detail. It shows just how much she is willing to do to keep the peace she has made happen the last 1000 years. It is also adorable how much she dotes on one of her favorite personal students, Night Light.

As for Night Light, we see even less of him in show, but I really do like how Saber has characterized him in their short. He has the same modest, adorkable nature as his foals, and his daughter's studious long letters and the like to Celestia, I enjoyed his closeness to Celestia, how it explains the closeness of his daughter Twilight to her in the future of the show. Well done and I enjoyed reading on him.

Story/Concept:
I have seen similar things for Celestia, but that is not a problem necessarily as Saber has their own twist to it, with good foreshadowing as the story goes along on how it will end. The story is mostly focused on the one event, the Grand Galloping Gala, and how Celestia is doing what she can to prepare for the future. I do enjoy story concepts like this, seeing how much time and thought and planning Celestia puts into things to make the future go her way. She knows Nightmare Moon will be returning soon, and that she needs to prepare, that she can't be the one to take her on, so she needs to find somepony who can, no matter what. I can't say too much else on that matter without spoiling the ending, but just know it is a way I don't think I've seen exactly in other stories, so was a nice touch.

Spelling/Grammar:
Now, as hinted a few times above, this is where I have the most issues with this story. Saber makes use of the 'if you know the rules well enough, you can break them,' old saying in that they 'break' the often seen rule of 'never using And or But to start a sentence'. It wasn't until doing some research into this and talking to some of my fellow reviewers that I found out that this rule could be broken in the right circumstances. Still, for this reviewer at least, it is not a stylistic choice I really care for. I mostly blame my grade school teachers and college professors on this, since 'academic' writing frowns on breaking this rule as it is seen as unprofessional. 'Creative' writing, on the other hand, this is fine if you still use other rules correctly. Using 'And' to begin a sentence can have a stronger emphasis than if you use words such as 'however' instead. Or if you combine the sentence instead, which to this author is how she usually ends up doing it in her own writing.
Other readers might be just fine with this, and that is okay. We all have our preferences, and as long as the sentence still makes sense that is what matters. Still, I can't help cringing a little here as my inner English Major yells at me 'nonono, you can't do that!' Even more so, because ever since I read this short I am now noticing it in my published books I am reading as well. I must admit though this is something I never saw coming, that being a reviewer would teach me more about writing! So on that note, I do at least thank the Saber for giving me a new look on writing style.
This is not the only thing though for this section. Reading the comments of this short, I found that English is not the native language of Saber, which shows in some spelling and grammatical mistakes that don't fall under my above conflict. I'd advise Saber to find a good editor to comb through the story and help them catch those. If they were fixed, that would change a LOT in my mind for the story and make it even more enjoyable to me.

Final Thoughts:
While frustrating at first, not knowing about this rule-break allowance for And or But at the start of a sentence, I still enjoyed this story for what it gives. A nice view into Celestia's mind, some great set-up for what could be considered a 'prequel' of sorts for Season 1 of the show, cute adorkableness of Night Light, and a different view of Celestia in general. I might be done with school and college, but as I keep telling people, I really feel I have learned more about writing from not only doing it on Fimfic and getting comments from readers and my editor, but also from experiencing stories that are different from my own style, like this one, that bring a new focus on the 'creative' aspect of writing. So, thank you Saber for sharing your story with me. It is thanks to writers like you that I feel I have learned more from the above on Fimfic, then I ever did paying for college classes!

Heart: 8/10
Characterization: 9/10
Story/concept: 7/10
Spelling/Grammar: 7/10
Overall: 7.75/10

7335651
Thank you so much for taking time to read my story! I'm glad you liked it.
I adore and, one can even say, worship Celestia. I always strive to share my almost religious love for the Princess, and portray her as a living deity I saw her as in the prologue of S1E1.

Saber makes use of the 'if you know the rules well enough, you can break them,' old saying

Sadly, I think you give me too much credit. I, of course, had a formal English course but since then learned only by imitation, reading classical literature.
So sometimes I hardly know or can explain what have I done.
I broke the rule you've been talking about because in my native language it's completely OK to start a sentence with But or And. And I largely think in my native, even when writing in English.

Can you recommend some books about stylistics in English? I would like to delve into this topic.

7335658

Thank you so much for taking time to read my story! I'm glad you liked it.
I adore and, one can even say, worship Celestia. I always strive to share my almost religious love for the Princess, and portray her as a living deity I saw her as in the prologue of S1E1.

You're welcome! hehe Oh for sure I can see that, how much you care for her. ^.^ You did a great job with that, making her feel real as her deity self could be.

Sadly, I think you give me too much credit. I, of course, had a formal English course but since then learned only by imitation, reading classical literature.
So sometimes I hardly know or can explain what have I done.
I broke the rule you've been talking about because in my native language it's completely OK to start a sentence with But or And. And I largely think in my native, even when writing in English.

Well you know what they say, we learn best by imitation! Is also why writers should read as much as they can, helps us learn to write our own stories better. ^.^ Hehe and that is fine, as you still did it well! What is your native language, if you don't mind me asking? That is cool at least that it still works when translating eh? :D

Can you recommend some books about stylistics in English? I would like to delve into this topic.

I can certainly try! Not sure of any at the moment, but I shall look tomorrow (is late here so about to go to bed) and will let you know if I find any good ones! Heck, I'll probably try to snag it for myself if I find a really good one.

7335664

What is your native language, if you don't mind me asking?

It's Russian.

I can certainly try!

I would greatly appreciate that!

7335658

7335664
Fellow reviewer here. I can recommend a few, I think.

Pick up Strunk and White's (I think that's how their names are spelled) The Elements of Style. Some of their rules are a bit archaic, such as suggesting that certain present-day words aren't really words (one of them says that "student body" cannot be an accurate subject"), but it's a very useful place to start.

There's also the Chicago Manual of Style. The Turabian variant is more geared towards students and professors, but you may find its general composition tips useful.

7335689
Thank you for your suggestions!

The Elements of Style

Sounds like something Rarity would publish. :)

7335689
Thanks Jarvy! Those both sound so helpful. ^.^

7335690

Sounds like something Rarity would publish. :)

I agree, that book does sound like something she would write. XD