EPotato Dog

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Random
• Sci-Fi

Pinkie Pie invites Twilight over to witness a new invention.

• Twilight
• Pinkie

TheLegendaryBillCipher · 1.4k words  ·  55  2 · 1.1k views

I’ve been reading quite a few sadfics lately. Maybe I’m just a sad person. Hm. Anyways, let’s change that a bit. Today we’re going to be tackling the first in a series of stories from TheLegendaryBillChiper. First up we’ve got Potato Dog, a comical story that takes characterization in a bold new direction. Let’s hit it. 

The plot of the story is pretty much what the description says it is. Twilight is invited by Pinkie Pie to head over to the bakery to try out her latest culinary invention. Except… that’s not the only invention that Pinkie’s been working on. And it turns out the Pinkie that invited Twilight over isn’t actually Pinkie.

While that makes it seem complicated, the answer’s pretty simple: Pinkie’s built a robot replica of herself. The robot, named P-Buddy, is not only a perfect reflection of Pinkie herself, but it apparently also carries with it a sense of autonomy, as it fetches Twilight without being asked to.

Pinkie then admits that she built P-Buddy to impress Twilight because, well, she has a crush on her.

And that’s pretty much the plotline. It isn’t much, but given that the story comes in at 1,300 words, I wasn’t expecting a Lord of the Rings plot line anyways. And while short stories often have their word counts work against them, here it does play into the story’s favor.

The story moves along at a nice even pace and never feels like it’s moving too slowly or too quickly, making it a nice engaging read. Oh, and the cipher was a nice touch!

The three characters at play are Pinkie Pie, P-Buddy, and Twilight. For the most part, Pinkie and Twilight stay in character, although hardcore fans may argue against this depiction of Pinkie. I personally had no problem with it and enjoyed the way she was depicted here.

Twilight was also depicted pretty well, almost having a breakdown at the discovery of Pinkie’s robot. Again, no real problems with her depiction.

P-Buddy’s characterization was interesting, but there wasn’t enough of her for me to really draw anything solid about how she was depicted in this particular story. This may change if I see more of her in the future.

So in conclusion, there was pretty solid characterization all around. I don’t have any major criticisms here. 

There were a few tiny things prose wise. First, I’d recommend adding a “a lot of” after “gestures like this” in the phrase

Twilight flashed her a smile – Pinkie had been doing gestures like this lately.

Second, I think “Twilight” in this phrase should be “Twilghting” or whatever that phrase is.

“Do you mind telling me what’s going on?” she asked, trying to keep calm, though the early signs of a “Twilight” were beginning to set in.

And the last thing I’ll say is that in this line, P-Buddy ‘frowns’ and then ‘smiles’ in a very quick succession.

P-Buddy frowned. “You said you were going to go get Twilight Sparkle and let her try out your new invention.” She smiled. “I figured I’d go do it myself, boss. Save you some hassle.”

Now again, these are very small nitpicky details, but when a story is this short there isn’t much else for me to focus on. Other than these tiny things, the prose overall was strong and read quite well. 

I think that because these entries are short, I’ll provide an overarching final thoughts segment for the last part of this story. But while this story may seem short, it’s the perfect length for what it needs to do, and blends its genres together in a fun way.

The romance is there but not over the top, the sci-fi part is simple enough that it’s understandable by casual readers, and it is most definitely fluffy slice of life. I have a hard time finding problems with this story, but I suppose I could say that I wish P-Buddy played a role greater than a plot device and became an actual character, but the author has more stories down the road so I won’t hold this against them. Overall? A fun read! 

Next time we’re delving back into sad stories with Ice Star’s Distance Beyond Any Measure. See you there!

Deuces. 

If you’re a fan of Pinkie Pie/Twilight, like fluffy slice of life stories, or are interested in Pinkie making a lifelike robot, I’d highly recommend this story! 

Your writing is as pleasing as always, and I’m excited to see what else your series has to offer. I don’t have much else to say because again this was a short and pretty solid fic, but if you want to discuss anything you know where to find me.

This was a shorter story so I do not have any notes. 

Plot: 8
Characterization: 8
Prose: 8

Average: 8

How'd you manage to call her both P-Body and P-Buddy?
Seriously though, I'm glad you liked it, Red.

7251208

How'd you manage to call her both P-Body and P-Buddy?

Because I'm a trash horse

Nah. You're a good writer, a good reviewer, and a good person.