TBefore the Storm: The Rise of Firefly

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Adventure

Before the Wonderbolts, there were the Bolt Knights. And before Rainbow Dash, there was Firefly. The story of Rainbow Dash's ancestor, the origin of the Wonderbolts, and the coming of the Great Pony/Gryphon War.

• Gore
• Alt. Universe
• Celestia
• OC
• Other

Firesight · 260k words  ·  407  19 · 6k views

So, where to start? 258,895 words are a lot, although I read every single one of them. But let’s go in order, first a rapid view of the story itself without having to spoil anything for anyone. Rise of Firefly tells the story of a young pegasus mare whose dream is to become a true warrior and join the armored guardspony, a unit that until that moment only had stallions in it, she will be confronted and challenged for her choice, she will endure and climb her own route to the top. In her voyage though she will face many challenges, the judgement of her fellow ponies at first and the harsh reality of war later on.

The rise of Firefly is a diary like story, the whole novel is told in first person from differents POV using the escamotage of the diary as a way to change them through the story, the change of POV includes some minor let’s say spoiler about how the story ends but not HOW the story ends, what I mean is, the reader will know that Firefly will achieve her dream, they will know that many will survive etc etc… 

The novel is written in a semi archaic english with a lot of “tis” and “methinks” which adds a good amount of immersion without being absolutely impossible to understand for the readers, and that’s good. The story has many character all of them with their own personality and history the setting is also interesting exploring the “early” years after Nightmare Moon banishment, “early” because you know, 300 years are a lot but I digress. The Gryphon kingdom and Equestria are the main antagonists here, Equestria in this novel is similar to a modern society in terms of military and ranks while the gryphons are clearly inspired by the romans especially the names, which are heavy on Latin. As an Italian I’m very satisfied with it hehe.

But let’s go back to the story itself, what will you find in it? You will find a charismatic and interesting character in Firefly, one that dares do what others would tremble to think of, you will find a caring and almost sister like attitude and compassion in Wind Whistler, Firefly best friend. You will find stern authority, realistic snob and contenders, you will find greed and jealousy conflicts arising from the very heart of a nation based on harmony and trust. You will find that same trust and harmony can make miracles come true as well. You will find a warrior Celestia while still being the caring and motherly figure we all know and love.

Let’s now detach from the story and go more in depth with the characters, they are a vital part of any story after all, all of them are memorable and they reflect what a society in ancient times could have been, they are mostly polite but easy to anger and very reliant on duels to settle disputes, this is a point in favor because duels were a thing done almost regularly on our own history. The Equestrian go with non lethal duels (Most of the times) Gryphons well, they don’t. What all of this entails though? It makes the world around Firefly feel true, not built for the Main character but with the main character something that too many times is forgotten, in the real world the universe won’t go around a single mortal but a good storytelling can make you feel like it is. And this is the case.

Rise of Firefly will gift you hours of entertaining readings, especially if you are a sucker for military stories, like me. Now the novel will also give you introspective visions of the characters making you see that they are not simple NPC but real feeling creatures that do wrongs and goods but both with motivations, especially the gryphons they can be seen as the bad guys here but you will see that many of them are not different from a pony they only got caught in an unfeeling machine that used them for its own glory.

But as I said I won’t go into too many details after all a story must be read to be really enjoyed and you wouldn’t want little old me to spoil it for you now would you? Then without further ado let’s go into the “For the author” Section.

My dear Firesight, I love your style of writing, it gives the right amount of weight to the story without being obnoxious. You wrote this book with your soul and it shows I can feel it and I could feel it while reading, you created a world that felt alive in its own intricacies and facets with many, many wonderful moments that are usually difficult to write and yet you did them masterfully. The work of a reviewer is viewed maybe as an easy one, we judge authors for what they do and maybe judging harshly gives more attention to one reviewer than another. In my short carrier though I’m pleased to say that you stand at the top of the authors that I reviewed so far. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe a more talented reviewer would have found errors or things to chastise you for but for me? You are good, very good. Continue to write and makes more people go in awe with your stories! 

As a side bonus thingy here you have some trivia!
Number of “Tis”:641 not bad in my opinion
And that’s all I just liked the tis.

The scores! 

Core idea: 9.5/10 The story of Firefly is a very interesting one although the war against gryphons is one that I saw a lot, but I won’t penalize you that much for it.

Pacing: 9.4/10 The pacing is almost perfect, although what I would say is too sudden is Firefly promotions through the ranks, a bit too many in my honest opinion.

Grammar: 10/10 flawless and correct all the way to the end.

Final score:9.6/10 A wonderful incredible adventure and an honor to review it, keep it going my friend you have talent and a lot of it. Thou are a talented and ingenius writer methink you will go far in thou life with tis ability, good luck for all your endeavours.

P.S. I also read your phoenix Wright story, it was good.
                           

Thank you for the review! A few comments:

The rise of Firefly is a diary like story, the whole novel is told in first person from differents POV using the escamotage of the diary as a way to change them through the story,

I learned a new word today! Escamaotage=juggling, sleight of hand or trickery.

the change of POV includes some minor let’s say spoiler about how the story ends but not HOW the story ends, what I mean is, the reader will know that Firefly will achieve her dream, they will know that many will survive etc etc…

This is something I've been dinged on by other reviewers on the grounds that I'm giving away the game. My response to that is two-fold: 1) as this is written autobiographically, it's unavoidable--they can't be here to write this if they didn't survive--and 2) that doesn't mean I can't surprise you, and knowing what will happen does not mean you know when or how it happens. Personally, I think the story mechanic works quite well for its purpose, and I'm very glad I didn't choose to write this in third person.

The novel is written in a semi archaic english with a lot of “tis” and “methinks” which adds a good amount of immersion without being absolutely impossible to understand for the readers, and that’s good.

Thanks! That's actually been a chore at times, writing that way. I had to learn the rules of archaic English first, and it took me a long time to internalize them!

The story has many character all of them with their own personality and history the setting is also interesting exploring the “early” years after Nightmare Moon banishment, “early” because you know, 300 years are a lot but I digress.

So are the 700 years before present this takes place in! Yes, it's a lot, but it's basically medieval times.

My dear Firesight, I love your style of writing, it gives the right amount of weight to the story without being obnoxious. You wrote this book with your soul and it shows I can feel it and I could feel it while reading, you created a world that felt alive in its own intricacies and facets with many, many wonderful moments that are usually difficult to write and yet you did them masterfully.

Why, thank you! This was my favorite story to work on when I was writing it, and I do believe it showed. I poured my heart and soul into this story, and what's amazing is that it grew out of what was initially supposed to be just a short side story to one of my adult works--The Lawyer and The Unicorn. But I wrote it, liked it, and realized I had something interesting, and then continued it. It then took on a life of its own and pulled me along for the ride, and I couldn't be happier.

The work of a reviewer is viewed maybe as an easy one, we judge authors for what they do and maybe judging harshly gives more attention to one reviewer than another. In my short carrier though I’m pleased to say that you stand at the top of the authors that I reviewed so far. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe a more talented reviewer would have found errors or things to chastise you for but for me? You are good, very good. Continue to write and makes more people go in awe with your stories!

Again, I thank you. This is the kind of feedback that authors crave and so rarely receive. Good comments leave you with a good feeling, and good reviews leave you glowing.

As a side bonus thingy here you have some trivia!
Number of “Tis”:641 not bad in my opinion
And that’s all I just liked the tis.

Heh. I believe it!

Final score:9.6/10 A wonderful incredible adventure and an honor to review it, keep it going my friend you have talent and a lot of it. Thou are a talented and ingenius writer methink you will go far in thou life with tis ability, good luck for all your endeavours.

It should be "thou art" and "methinks". That's how well I've learned archaic English now. But thank you very much for the kind words and sentiments, to say nothing of such a high score! I will write on, and I hope you continue reading into the second story.

P.S. I also read your phoenix Wright story, it was good.

Thanks! But in fairness, the story is not mine, per se--that credit belongs to the original video series author, NeoArtimus, and the initial author of the story adaptation, ChromeRegios--but the greatly expanded and cleaned-up novelization was all me. Nevertheless, I appreciate that! Firefly came from there, you know, from her brief appearance at the end.

Thanks again for the review! If you're interested, the second story in the series is in-progress. It details the war proper and is already 25 chapters and 243k words long. I haven't submitted it for review because it's not finished yet and won't be for some time, but don't let that stop you from reading on!

TInto the Storm: The Flight of Firefly

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Adventure
• Thriller

Before the Wonderbolts, there were the Bolt Knights. And before Rainbow Dash, there was Firefly. The story of Rainbow Dash's ancestor, the founding of the Wonderbolts, and the outbreak of the Great Pony/Gryphon War.

• Gore
• Violence
• Alt. Universe
• Celestia
• OC
• Other

Firesight · 421k words  ·  211  8 · 3.4k views

7197202
I'm glad you liked the review as well and do you really think I haven't already XD? I'm starting it right away I just wanted to finish the prequel of course.

7197779

Then I hope very much you enjoy!