ESilver Bells

• MLP: FiM
• Sad
• Tragedy

There's a reason why one mare from Ponyville seems so sad during the holidays.

• OC
• Other

TheWingman · 4.5k words  ·  19  0 · 743 views

Summary of Story here: Golden Brooch, one of Ponyville's seamstresses with a loveable personality, was respected by many in town. Yet, one thing about her puzzled them. She always looked depressed during the Hearth's Warming season and never answered when asked why. The only pony that knew why was her daughter, Silver Draw, now living with her fiance. One Hearth's Warming Eve, Silver Draw decides to do something about it... with a gift her mother will never forget.

Introduction section: Hello everyone, Nailah here again. This one was shorter so probably not as long of a review this time. This whole thing with Coronavirus is crazy but at least we can still have ponies. Yay.

Initial thoughts: This is a story about death, and the holiday. Granted, I can see how easily the two could tie together, and this story tells itself in a way that it works, but I don't feel like it needs both things. Like it could've focused on the death part alone and still been a fine solid stand alone story, but let's dive in deeper shall we? Prepare your tissues if you are sensitive. 7/10

What I liked: The atmosphere. Often in a story like this, you wouldn't think much of the environment that surrounds the characters. But the atmosphere is almost as vital as the characters.

What I didn't like: Execution and "Hearth's warming" tie in. I don't know maybe it's just me, but I feel like if this story was just about the loss of a loved one, and not trying to put the feeling of the holiday into it as well, it would be even better. As is, it's passable. It's okay, but nothing that really stands out for me. It's probably will depend on how you feel.

Grammar: I didn't see anything that stuck out to me here. 10/10

Characterization: The two oc's are mother and daughter and granted their characters themselves are fine, I feel like at certain points comparing them to one of the main six doesn't help them be their own unique thing. They are able to stand on their own just fine. But they still have room to grow. 7/10

Story/Concept: This is the part where maybe it's just me, but this is my opinion. I noticed this was a gift, and that's why Wingman made it around Hearth's warming, but why? What was the point? It would have been so much more emotional impact for it to just be about death. I know death isn't easy to write without being 'overdramatic" or too wishy washy, but you have a good scenario set up here of a daughter and a mother bonding even though their loved one is gone, they can still find solace in each other. I just feel the "addition" of the hearth's warming ruins it from being great. 6/10

Overall thoughts: This story is good, it's certainly not a bad story at all. I just felt there are certain things that hold it back from being a great story. An emotional story about death. I can't help remembering "The Legend of Daring Do" here and how it handled death. This story also handles it well, but ack. The whole element of the holiday ruins it for me. It's nothing against the author here, I know it was personal choice. But overall the story is good, it will make you cry, and you will learn a thing or two about moving on, and keeping together. 7/10

NEW SECTION:
Headpat worthy: No
Boop worthy: Yes, story is decent, but I feel there's more that Wingman could have done to make it great.
Meh!: No
Cringe Level: No

Final score: 7+10+7+6+7=37/50
7/10

To the author: Keep being awesome and keep writing. I know some of this review is probably just personal taste, but I do hope you will continue writing.

Thank you for the review, Nailah! I know that the story isn't perfect but rest assured, I'll take this as a learning experience. I wrote this as a Christmas story for the heck of it and a Christmas gift (Wrote it without being asked by the artist, like deciding to do so) for my friend who is the creator of the OCs (He was involved to make sure the characters were portrayed faithfully) portrayed in this. Again, thank you for the fair review. :)