Hello, this is the main review thread. All official group reviews will go here. The review format is still being worked on, but the basics are as follows:

1. Start with a greeting and intro.
2. Give the rating scale for core components.
3. Assess each core piece with a score and a 50-100 word assessment.
4. Give the net total of the core score.
5. Repeat with the relevant bonus categories, but give only a short blurb for each, ideally under 25 words.
6. Give a net score for those.
7. Give a gross score combining the two.
8. Write a 50-100 word conclusion.
9. Give a verdict.
10. Post a link to the review post here in the comments section of the fic.

This thread is for reviewers to post reviews only. No fighting in here. Contact first the reviewer, and then a group officer if you have a dispute. Any chatter in this thread will be deleted mercilessly. We are still working out the kinks, so thank you for your patience and forebearance.

Stoi, Suka! I am Kalash93 of the Content Cops, and I am here to assess your story, "A Night At Hrashwhinny's"

Main categories:

Grammar/Spelling: x/10
Readabillity: x/10
Merit: x/10
Characterization: x/10
Success in execution: x/10.

Core:

Mechanics: 2

Lemme just show the very first paragraph…

I was looking at myself in the mirror at the clothes I was wearing. A tight white V-neck that showed off my well aged breast and slim stomach. I had on a pair of yoga pants that showed off my wide hips and round flank. “Ok harshwhinny you can do this you got the looks and you got the know-how.” I heard a knocking coming from my front door and I looked at myself one last time then ran to the front down. I opened the door to sam dressed up in a nice button up caller t-shirt and loose fitting pants. “Wow, sam why so dressed up tonight?” He didn’t answer for a moment and I knew his eye were on me and I liked it. I knew I had dressed like this to get his attention and I did.

There are fuckups and problems everywhere. In fact, the rare exception is the sentence WITHOUT any issues. Lemme think… capitalization errors, commas missing, comma splices, wrong punctuation, missing punctuation, spelling errors, including in the TITLE! In short, pretty much every single possible error there is to commit gets committed eventually in this fic. The one points you get, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, is because you somehow had consistent formatting and remembered to change paragraphs between speakers.

Readability: 3

Technically, this fic is readable. It’s not a wall of text. It’s just a fucking mass of agony in every other way, though. The flow is terrible, the grammar is more fucked in the ass than a pornstar on anal gangbang day, and everything else is just awful. Still, at least the formatting is consistent.

Merit:

It’s pure govno, all shit. No inspiration, no spark, no magic, no engagement, no purpose to exist. It’s not even good porn. My bet is it was hammered out in 20 minutes while wasted like Lindsay Lohan. Was this your try at pandering with clop. Congratulations, I think you may have preemptively given 300,000,000 potential children of mine a chance of being born instead of shot into my blanket. Your story was likely the original form of birth control and everything since then has been efforts at replicating its amazing powers of ungoodness and unsexiness. I am so unaroused right now I may have to call my escort and tell her our next 7 sessions are off!

Characterization: :flutterhbad:

What characters? There is no establishment, development, or demonstration.

Success in execution: 1

You get one point, and it’s for being so terrible that it becomes perversely amusing to read, if only out of a sense of masochism and bile fascination, y’know, the reason why people watch the Kardashians.

Net: 6/50

Bonuses:

Use of show canon: x/5, x/10 if a fic is a crossover that tries to adhere to source material on top of MLP , may not apply to AU fics
Plot consistency and coherence: x/5 apiece
How well story adheres to genre tags: x/5 per genre, max total of 60
Uniqueness: x/10
Realism: x/5**

Canon: 0

Story does not break canon but also does not do anything to utilize the canon in any way.

Coherence: 0

There is no plot. 2 characters meet just to fuck for no reason other than why the fuck not fucking fuck.

Uniqueness: 0

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Realism:

I read the sex and was grimacing the whole way through. Sex does not work like that AT ALL. Please get laid, hopefully in 10 or so years once you’re legal, and then come back and try writing clop again. At least you’ll know what you’re writing about.

Net: 0

Gross: 6 (Fail (EPIC))

Verdict: Dudebruh, get an editor, pls.

Today, I bequeath unto this group a review of a short story, and by short I mean only four chapters in length and all not even cresting 500 words each. Interestingly enough, this particular fic that I will be covering is in the re-uploads folder, meaning it broke a rule or two and is somehow still up on the site.

Thomas's Adventures in Equestria being that fic.

Core: At heart, this... short story is an Adventure, Comedy, Crossover, and Random. And chapters so short, not even one half of a thousand, that I was legitimately wondering if, perhaps, it was rushed to hell. My readthrough of the first three chapters, sadly... did nothing to suggest otherwise.

Grammar: 7/10. It is surprisingly solid here, with minimal errors that made me think the author actually spell-checked it before hitting the publish button. However, a stutter is prominent whenever the character's anxiety issues come full force, a few words are capitalized when they shouldn't be, but that and a few cases of all-caps and addressing the Bearers of Harmony as the Mane 6 were the only things I took issue with (another being a misuse of the word "echoala" way out of context, but that was in a chapter title and can be easily remedied.)

Readability: 8/10. Probably due to how short it is, it reads surprisingly well. There was no leet-speak or moonspeak that I saw, and overall it was consistent in its chapters' contents. Not much issue here, especially since it didn't make my eyeballs bleed. This is one thing I have to applaud the author for.

Merit: ... after some thought, 2/10. The ideas are there and can be done well, but sadly are not. And besides, 'autistic brony goes pony and heads to Equestria' is one of those ideas which itself has been done to death.

Characterization: 1/10, for everyone who isn't the OC/self-insert. The story is so rushed the characters simply don't have the time to be there, instead being slightly less than cardboard. There's some semblance of them being there, don't get me wrong, but it's not even the bare minimum here.

Success in execution: *shakes head grimly* 0/10. Barely any effort put forth into making it a worthwhile story, and thus there is no execution to even speak of because of it. It's just... there.

Flow: 0/10. Chapters are rushed way to hell, going off at Mach Five on a crash-course with the sun. None to speak of here.

Net score: 18/60; 30%.

BONUS TIME!!!

Use of show canon: 2/10, barely used at all, thanks to the crash-and-burn speed at which this story goes. Only things worth mentioning are Discord turning the character into an orange for shits and giggles, and the few traits the other mains show that managed to get into the relevant chapters.

Plot consistency and coherence: 1/5 each; barely any plot to speak of, and despite the story reading near-seamlessly, it was going so fast I could barely make sense of it. You know something's wrong when something like this manages to happen.

Genre tag adherence: 0/10 for everything EXCEPT Random, which nets a 2/10 because it was like trying to work out how to solve a Rubik's cube. It jumps from event to event every "chapter" like a cheetah on steroids, and it was only thanks to its smooth grammar and readability that I could even grasp what was going on. 2/40 overall.

Uniqueness: 0/10. Nope. Doesn't exist here.

Realism: 0/5. It said, explicitly in the first chapter, that the OC's parents sent him to Equestria to learn about friendship. Barring Discord using portal magics, I must ask how such a thing is possible. But nope, I got nothing. On top of that, the OC wants to hook up with every mare he sees (in which case, I am surprised this story doesn't have a Romance tag), and does next to nothing to portray autism well. I get that different folks with the affliction will behave differently based on severity of said affliction, as I have it myself, but come on... the story couldn't even get that right.

Net bonus score: 6/75; 8%.

Verdict: Just... no. This needs to be edited by three highly-skilled, professional editors before it can become something better than it currently is. The few good things about it do not help to salvage it in any way. This was a trainwreck from the get-go, and the author doesn't seem to realize it, or possibly doesn't care that it's a trainwreck. Then again, nobody's paid this much heed to him until now, so I guess that's part of why. And seeing it in the re-upload side of the Rule Breaking folder cannot possibly mean anything good.