Okay next story, "Day By Day, Moment By Moment" https://www.fimfiction.net/story/342456/day-by-day-moment-by-moment written by Jarvey Jared. Sequel to "The Chronicler"

I didn't think I'd be seeing Artifex again, thankfully this time I don't have to charge through a 24,000 word chapter in one go. This time I decided to read up to the fourth chapter.

Now when I first finished the first three chapters in this story, I knew right away that they were RE-MARKABLY...average. The first two chapters were just alright. They weren't bad by any means, but they weren't really gripping either. Artifex chats with his friends, reminisces a bit and signs up for school.

The third chapter interested me a bit, but not really that much. However, things started to pick up on the fourth chapter, that's when this got me to really pay attention. I must say, this author of this story seems to have quite a gift for making new characters. The teacher Mr. Solil and the new kid No Clue and interesting characters, especially the teacher. I am impressed that you managed to get me to become rather interested and drawn to a character that I had been recently introduced to. He really does seem unique, and he caused me to enjoy myself.

Ah, that reminds me. Last time in the prequel story "The Chronicler" there was something I wasn't able to say then. I had already finished the review to that story when I thought of it. This is a minor gripe so take it with a grain of salt.

I kind of dislike that some of the more popular MLP characters already had boyfriends. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Sunset Shimmer etc. That they were characters that we'd never really heard of, and that the story played it off like it was completely normal. It kind of rubbed me the wrong way each time. Now OBVIOUSLY this isn't a story flaw, so I'm not gonna dock points. Still, I doubt that I'm the only one who felt like this when reading. This didn't appear in the first four chapters, but considering this story is close to eight times larger than the prequel, it seems like a safe bet it'll show up.

Onto more important things, when reading the four chapters, it didn't really feel like there was much of a direction like "The Chronicler" . A sort of goal, a need, something to push the readers to keep going, but this didn't show up in those four chapters. It probably showed itself later on, but you should probably should've gotten to it sooner since the first three chapters are rather unremarkable. And readers may not have the patience to keep going until it becomes worthwhile. People have to read the first story in order to get to this one, so comparing the two is almost unavoidable. The prequel had quite a bit of drama that would encourage others to see this through to the end. Suicide issues, learning to trust and open up, and other compelling things.

From what I read, those events were not able to do so. Interesting? Yes. Compelling? No.

Still, this story's saving graces are definitely it's creation of new characters as well as characterization. These two might make this story a top read for some.

Day By Day, Moment By Moment: 70/100
If you push past the beginning, you'll probably find yourself hooked.

6045102
Good God, I'd forgotten I'd even submitted that story to here... damn.

Well, four chapters in is a lot to read, especially given this piece's monstrous length. My reasoning for not introducing any main conflict was to keep in line with the chapter structure/orientation of the story. I wanted to focus on this "day by day" feeling addressed at the very beginning, by having small plot points that are more slice-of-life than grandiose--at least at first. The main theme, really, was to demonstrate Artifex slowly coming back to a normal life, which is why Day One was split so long. I wanted to show various aspects of that life in the course of one day, similar to how I had showed one day with The Chronicler.

Your issue with the boyfriends is understandable, and in retrospect, to be expected. The boyfriends themselves are not my creation: they belong to other authors who had given me permission to use them and have their own stories (I believe these are linked in the story's description, but I'm not sure). It's a PoME thing. Which is another group thing... yeah, out of that context, such inclusion would make little sense.

While I would encourage you to keep reading it, due to its length and the fact that a lot of its content relies on readers already familiar with certain ideas, characters, and fan-creations, I don't think you should unless you really want to get to the bottom of Artifex's story. But I do thank you for the review! It was well worth the wait.