So, I guess we have to write a Bible for our Lord and Savior, huh?

5321035 Yes. For the most part it was derived from my quote speaking of the Whale-y Truth.

Well, I'll start...

Whale-Start, 1
In the beginning, there was only the Great Water, blue and endless
From the ocean came the Great Whale, and he said "I need more water."
And, so, he collected all the water around himself, drying parts of the world in the process.
The Great Whale looked at the deep sea and the dry land and said "Okay, that wasn't my intention."
He threw a small tantrum, and then calmed, saying "Eh, could be worse..."

5321050

Whale-Start 2

The thrashing of the Great Whale's tantrum swept water away,
Thus revealing land among only his infinite form and the water he so skillfully gathered.
This land, exposed to the great heat of the burning orb we call the sun, which is truthfully a small portion of his manifested rage, as a all suns are began to catch fire. The Great Whale having eaten plenty of strawberry ice cream, the meal of all true gods was too tired to clean up this fire.
So he spoke the words that became the first great Command:
"Could someone else, I dunno, do something about that?"
From this Command came many creatures, some in the likeness of the Great Whale himself.
Some crawled across the land, and some flew, others swam with the Great Whale.
Those who bore likeness to His Whale-y-iness beached themselves in attempt to cease the ever-burning flame, blistering their own bodies and giving up their lives in his name.
They did not succeed in their quest but for their faithfulness they were turned into the ice cream the Great Whale so lovingly consumes.
After this great meal, he gave the second Command:

5321057
Whale-Start 3
"Man, i didn't think they'd all die! Why am I the only smart whale?"
And, so, the whales in the ocean were seized by the uncontrollable urge to swim to the surface.
As the light from the burning orb began to hit them in the water, their bodies changed and warped.
One whale, now a two-legged hairless monkey that is in no way comparable to the Great Whale in magnitude, breaks te surface of the water and pauses.
He watches as all the other whales-turned-other-things crawl to land, die, and become ice cream with disdain.
The Great Whale breaks the surface alongside the Hairless One, and repeats his First Command.
The Hairless One shakes his head.
The Great Whale is angered, and blows water from his glorious hole as he curses the Hairless One.
The water shoots so high that it stops in the sky and collects around the world.
The sun's rays no longer scorch the world, all Whales-turned-others walk to the surface and rejoice.
The Hairless One has the gall to ask, "Do you see? I have done what you could not!"
He swims to the surface and proposes a new dish comprised of whale.
"Aw, hell naw!" the Great Whale utters in his mighty voice, and the Hairless One dissolves into ice cream.
But not strawberry,
Chocolate.
The Whale speaks again, "I'm better than you. Don't forget it."
The Hairless Chocolate growls, and slithers away.