I'm planning a fic, and I'd like some feedback on the idea. The human nations involved are listed below, as well as the pretense of the story afterward. Please tell me what you think.

Name: The Technocratic Republic of Industria
Short Name: Industria
Possessive: Industrian
People: Industrians
Primary Human Tribe: Transcendants (Tribes will be explained after the nations)
Government: Industria is a Republic made of one hundred states with democratically elected officials at every level of government. Every level of government is properly divided into an Executive, Legislative and Judicial branch, with the power evenly balanced between all levels of government instead of crammed mostly into the Federal level.
The highest level of government is the Federal level, which only focuses on issues that affect the entire nation (or, at least the majority). Powers not directly granted to it in the national constitution are strictly forbidden for it to take part in. If more powers are to be granted to the Federal government, such things must be granted by amending the national constitution with the approval of at least seventy-five states.
Federal Officials:
Executive Branch
President (four-year term, two-term limit, Commander-In-Chief of the military)
Vice-President (serves alongside the President, also a member of the Legislative Branch to check and balance it)
The President's Cabinet
Legislative Branch
House of Representatives (each state has one Representative per 100,000 people, no upper limit. Two-year terms, must step down after six terms for the length of three more terms before running for more terms)
Senate (Vice President presides over the Senate, counting as a full vote at all times. Two Senators per state. Senators are elected by their state legislature, one from their state's Senate, the other from their state's House of Representatives. Six-year terms; must step down after two terms for the length of one term before running for another term)
Judicial Branch
Supreme High Court (9 Justices, appointed for life by President)
The next level of government is State level. Anything not granted to the Federal government is given to the states (unless a state chooses to deliberate it to their counties, instead.)
The State governments vary from state to state, but they all follow similar models to that of the Federal government.
Below State government is county government, and how counties are governed vary vastly, but they still bear some semblance to the Federal model.
The lowest level is City government. The city governments are the most local governments and are often the best suited for local issues.
As beliefs vary from area to area, many issues don't rise past State jurisdiction. Things like education, health care, moral disputes, etc. are not the business of the Federal government, so they stay out of such things, leaving them to lower levels of government.
The people of Industria don't operate on a "one size fits all" mentality. Instead, the unique needs, opinions, etc. of each person are taken care of. Minority groups are protected in most cases. Only when the belief/opinion of a group is illegal/dangerous are they not protected.
Industria is vastly more advanced than the other nations, constantly repelling spies from jealous governments who would rather steal technology than ask for Industria to teach them the secrets to their amazing wonders of science.
The Technocratic Forums
The Technocratic Forums are what set Industria apart from any other republic. Every Saturday, the virtual forums open, and depending on which Saturday it is in a cycle of every four Saturdays, the forums affect a different level of government.
No matter what level of government is affected, the people become entirely in charge, making there be no politicians in the forums, just citizens.
The first Saturday of the cycle is the City Forums, which puts each individual city in the hands of its citizens. Members of the population make proposals anonymously, and the population then cast their ballots, which are tallied instantly. With a simple majority, officials can be expelled from office, ordinances can be changed, and many other changes can be made. However, to protect all individual groups of people and prevent actions that could make universally-immoral acts legal (such as if a city was overrun by gangs and a gang member wanted to make murder legal), a highly-advanced, unbiased AI serves as the moderator for the forums. The AI is made with secret technology that is even kept from the general public to ensure that it remains unhackable. If something that is unfit for discussion is brought up, the moderator will reject the proposal. However, if a proposal would hurt one group but benefit another, discussions must be made about the finer details (such as if the 'hurt' that could befall one group is actually the loss of an ability to use the law to oppress or intimidate another group).
The second Saturday of the cycle is the County Forums. Dependant on how each county is run, the issues brought to county forums can vary vastly from county to county.
The third Saturday of the cycle is the State Forums. States are quite similar in how they are run, and this is the forum that usually sees the most discussion and debate, for the State is the highest government level that can still be considered "local".
The fourth and final Saturday of the cycle is the National Forums. The intense load of so many citizens has to be split into multiple interacting forums at this level, with each forum moderated by its own AI. But as these issues will impact the entire country, an extra AI serves as a moderator over all of the forums. At this level, even the highest-ranking politicians can be expelled from office, and since all proposals and votes are anonymous, even a biased media is powerless against the sheer power of the National Forums. With anonymity, no one can be smeared, no one faces any repercussions for expressing their true opinion, and the silent majority will quickly find out that they truly are the majority, and silence the vocal minority so the majority of the Industrian populace will have their will fulfilled.
The Virtual forums keep the politicians in check better than even the branches and levels of government do. Every fourth Saturday, their position of power hangs in the balance, and if the people they represent are displeased, they can potentially face being removed from office.
Culture
Industria is a hyper-advanced nation, and as such, their lives revolve heavily around technology. Ideas are shared through every medium imaginable, and there is not any one true Industrian culture, for people with similar ideas and beliefs often settle in nearby areas, creating pockets of different cultures all over the nation.
However, due to how envious the other three human nations are of Industria's prosperity, Industria is extremely paranoid, always on the lookout for possible spies. Industria claims they would gladly teach other nations their secrets if they'd just ask, but whether this is the actual truth or simply an attempt to look better in the eyes of other nations is unknown.

Name: The Archmagedom of Arcania
Short Name: Arcania
Possessive: Arcanian
People: Arcanians
Primary Human Tribe: Mages
Government: Arcania is a Magocracy, where the government is divided differently based on the level of government.
National Level
The Supreme High Archmage is the most powerful person in Arcania, both magically and politically. The Supreme High Archmage is a master (or mistress) of magic without peer. They know more about spells than any other Arcanian, and as such, they must have an incredibly good education, making them obviously fit to rule due to their high intelligence. The Supreme High Archmage's reign lasts until either another mage is proven to be more powerful, or they die/retire. In the event of the latter, the next most powerful mage takes charge (sometimes, one declines the call to lead, in which case, the second strongest is placed in power).
However, no human is without his or her flaws, and the Arcanians know this well. So the High Council of Arcania serves as a sort of Parliment to keep the Supreme High Archmage in check. They can't remove him/her from office unless they can prove the Supreme High Archmage is unfit to lead, but the High Council can review the actions of the Supreme High Archmage and overrule his/her actions. The High Council also doubles as the land's highest court, where people can be put on trial for crimes against the Scepter, with the Supreme High Archmage serving as Judge in certain cases.
Provincial Level
Arcania is divided up into many provinces, each with a High Archmage serving as the provincial governor and a provincial High Council.
County Level
Each province is further divided into several counties, each led by an Archmage and a county High Council
City Level
Each city/township/village/etc. Is led by a mayor and a council of elders. Only at this low of a level is one's level of magic power not taken into consideration for political office. The people of each settlement vote on the position of mayor, while the council of elders consists of the old and wise (the senile are kept out of the council).
The people of Arcania aren't as advanced as Industria, but they compensate by having taken a different direction in their development by relying on magic instead of science. They use magic for all sorts of things, such as crafting weapons, making objects that make life around the house easier, provide fast modes of transportation, and many others. However, they still covet the technological wonders of the Industrians and have tried to steal it in the past.
Culture
Arcania is a country of magic, and as such, their culture revolves around education and the arcane powers they all possess. Seeking a higher education is highly recommended, as only the most proficient in magic can obtain public office above the settlement level.
In addition, the Arcanians are prone to keeping secrets and acting mysterious to outsiders. Though none can use magic besides them, they prefer to keep an air of mystery about them so as to impress others.
The Arcanians trust heavily in their elders, and value the wisdom of their forbears above almost all else. Magical prowess is valued even more, and having a strong mage in the family brings great honor to any household.
The Arcanians have learned how to make their government work through trial and error, for there wasn't originally a High Council. At one point, a master of the darker arts became the Supreme High Archmage. He banned the teaching of all non-combat magic and prepared to turn the entire nation into an army. A woman who had turned down the position of Supreme High Archmage years earlier confronted him, and deposed him through force in a magic duel that destroyed half of The Grand Citadel (the building that houses the seat of government in the capital). The people offered her the position once more, but she turned it down again, but helped form the High Council, instead, becoming the first presiding member of the Council.
Due to mistakes made in the past, the Arcanians are always aware that their government may not be perfect, for they as a people are far from perfect. When not around foreigners, they show their true colors and show more humility, keeping their own faults in mind to remind themselves that no matter how much power and skill they have, they still aren't perfect.

Name: The Principality of Atlantis
Short name: Atlantis
Possessive: Atlantean
People: Atlanteans
Primary Human Tribe: Finfolk (male: Finman. female: Finwife.)
Government: Atlantis is a Principality, a kind of nation ruled over by a prince or princess, rather than a king or queen. The Atlanteans chose to be a principality for multiple reasons, including that the terms "prince" and "princess" are more youthful, and that a principality generally has a leader with less absolute power than a kingdom does.
The highest ranking official of Atlantis is the Grand Prince(ss). (S)he serves as head of the Principality Council, where the lesser Princes and Princesses meet to dictate the laws for the Principality. The Grand Prince(ss) inherits his/her position, as do the lesser Princes and Princesses. The lesser Princes and Princesses each govern their own region of the massive area Atlantis takes up, with each region having its own form of government, but always headed by a Prince(ss).
The Grand Prince(ss) has the power to overrule the decisions of the rest of the council, but the lesser Princes and Princesses can overturn it with a seventy-five percent majority of the council. (S)he can make any order a monarch can, but can be overruled by a two-thirds majority vote of the council.
The people of Atlantis live underwater, in cities along the coastline and deeper in the ocean. As such, their development has adapted to accommodate their underwater environs. Still, like Arcania, they covet the technology of Industria and have made attempts to steal it for themselves in the past.
Culture
Atlantis is a collection of provinces, and the cultures vary widely, except some things remain the same no matter where they are: Atlanteans are a proud people with skill in both the fine arts and the art of war. They can be quite territorial, making it difficult for Industrian and Arcanian ships to travel out to sea.
The Atlantean people value youthfulness and beauty in all things, even treating battle as a literal artform. They wish to remain appealing throughout their lives, and will continue to act young at heart even after their bodies begin to reach old age. Their healthy lifestyle keeps them youthful longer, but they still eventually grow old, no matter how much they try to stop it.

Name: The Mu Empire
Short Name: Mu
Possessive: Mu
People: Mu
Primary Human Tribe: Buetos
Government: Mu is led by an Emperor/Empress who holds great power. However, their power isn't absolute. The Emperor/Empress can only make decisions that concern the whole Empire, and each cloud platform is its own region of the Empire, each with its own regional governor.
The exception to the limitations put on the Emperor/Empress is that any order can be made to affect the whole Empire simply by ordering the entire Empire to focus on one region of the Empire, technically using all other regions to take full control of the one (s)he wants to tinker with. Or (s)he can simply send in the military or some other imperial group to use the authority of the entire Empire on one area.
Though their system of government is confusing, the Mu themselves are more of a marvel. They live in the sky, thousands of feet in the air, far higher than any clouds used by pegasi, and can manipulate clouds to a greater extent than pegasi can. They can make clouds act completely solid, enabling anyone to step on them, even if they were from the ground, and these clouds can bear any weight without limit. The Mu have farms on top of clouds, so they can grow their own food. As for the weather, they don't have much control over what a cloud produces, but they are capable of producing more clouds if needed, including a special blue cloud simply called a "magic cloud". magic clouds never rain, instead remaining incredibly fertile for growing plants in the sky and can also be mined for materials to use in construction. Once the first magic cloud was produced, they became a part of random cloud forming.
Any cloud the Mu establish settlements on is modified so it can bear any weight, and then they proceed to build their settlements out of all sorts of materials. They don't make things out of clouds like the pegasi, instead relying on whatever material they can.
Though they have wonders of their own, the Mu are envious of Industria's technology and have tried to pilfer it in the past.
Culture
The Mu control the skies, and depending on who fills the Imperial throne, they sometimes do so with an iron fist. The Industrians have flying machines and the Arcanians have flight magic, but the Mu have reacted negatively to other nations flying high enough to match their altitude.
The Mu are graceful in flight, and in times when they enjoy more freedom, they use flight shows as a means of entertainment.
The Mu are very protective of the secrets behind their construction of clouds that can support anything, especially the magic clouds.
The Mu enjoy being able to look down at the world below them, so when the Industrians launched a space program, they were far from pleased. They did everything in their power to stop the Industrians from ever getting into space, but they have been bitter ever since their attempts failed to stop the Industrians from putting a man in orbit.
The people themselves don't vary that much in their opinions and culture, for they put loyalty to the Empire first. They have a strong national pride, and have been known to impede the growth of other nations they are angry with by reducing rainfall considerably over that country. (Which is useless against the Atlaneans, of course.)

Name: Unknown
Legendary Name: The Land of the Original Humans
Possesive: Unknown
People; Unknown
Primary Human Tribe: Ancestral Humans
Government: Unknown
Among the four human nations, rumors exist of a fifth human nation, one that is so advanced, they make even the Industrians look like cavemen in comparison. If this nation does exist, it remains undiscovered.

Backstory: twenty thousand years ago, the only sapient race was humans. They'd ruled the world alone for millennia, and it appeared that they would reign supreme for eons to come. But, that all changed on The Day of Apocalypse.

The Day of Apocalypse brought destruction in the form of an object from space called the Apocalypse Asteroid: a massive chunk of radioactive thaumium (a ficticious magic metal. Someone pointed out that a uranium and plutonium asteroid would kill everything larger than a housecat) which fell from the sky and detonated on impact with the ground. As far as the remaining humans know, all life was wiped out except for that on one continent: one on the opposite side of the planet from Ground Zero. The surviving humans were mutated by the radiation that made it to them into four new kinds of humans, dividing man into tribes. These tribes are:

Transcendants: Appear exactly the same as normal humans, but with more potent muscles and an average IQ of two hundred. A slightly below average Transcendant has the same build as that of a normal slightly below average human, but their body actually has the strength and power of a linebacker.
Mages: These humans have complete access to the arcane arts. They have hands resembling massive spiders due to how long their fingers are, and they use these hands as the foci for their powers. Magical artifacts can grant greater power, and the Mages are to thank for the sun and moon orbiting the planet. After the Apocalypse Asteroid hit, the world was thrown out of orbit around the sun, it ceased spinning because the impact was so great, and the planet started to sail off into space. To save the remnants of mankind, the Mages combined their powers to pull the sun into orbit around the planet, making the system geocentric, as well as manually causing the moon to rise and set. (When the unicorns took control of the sun and moon, the Mages were confused and thought the sun and moon had finally accepted the orbit they'd put them in, not knowing that another force had taken control from them.)
Finfolk: These humans have webbed hands, flipper feet, fin ears, and gills. They can breate both on land and underwater, and can manipulate the waters and what lives in it (at least, to an extent). They can swim incredibly fast. Supposedly, one of them can swim fast enough to break the sound barrier underwater.
Buetos: These humans sport massive feathered wings that enable them to fly. They can manipulate clouds, manipulate the weather to a lesser extent, and can survive at altitudes that would make the other tribes pass out. They rule the skies above the human continent.

Over time, the four tribes established nations on and around the renamed continent of Hominia. The Transcendants took one half of the landmass and established Industria, the Mages took the other half and called it Arcania, the Buetos established Mu in the clouds, and all the water around the continent was settled by the finfolk, granting their new nation of Atlantis complete control of the waters around Hominia.

Millennia pass, and then The Day That Refused To End happened. Arcania was blamed for it, but they denied all responsibility for the sun freezing in place. Two weeks later, Atlantis and Mu declare war on Arcania, publicly stating that Arcania was lying and was trying to use the sun as a superweapon to evaporate the clouds supporting Mu and boil the waters of Atlantis, which would bring both nations to their knees. Arcania fights back, sometimes even taking the offensive, telling their people that to defend themselves from future attacks, they must push into enemy territory and teach the enemy not to mess with them. Finally, the three already warring nations declare war on Industria, publicly telling their people that Industria deserves to be punished for "hoarding technology". Industria joins the war, telling their people that the offensives they take into enemy territory are because their greedy neighbors need to be taught some manners.

Whether or not those are the actual reasons for the war declarations, no one knows but the governments. All the while, the rumors of a fifth human nation hiding somewhere becomes more frequent.

The story finally begins with a mapping expedition from Equestria arriving on the shores of Industria with no knowledge of anything that's going on on this "new" continent.

So, what do you guys think?

5474983 Well that was a lot to go over. I guess I'll start with the Hyper Humans, First Hyper Humans is a poor name for a tribe, and sounds more like a subspecies. The Government is more or less the USA with some tweaks to make it better. But it suffers from the same problem the USA's does: it's sounds good on paper but turns in to a corrupted bureaucratic hell in practice.

a highly-advanced, unbiased AI

Unless you are writing your story in a more modern times using AI is a bit immerse breaking. The show world is a bit closer to that of medieval times with a bit of the magical equivalent of modern tech sprinkled in. Now I not saying you can't have an AI, you can certainly make a magical version of it, but you don't want you humans to be too advanced.

The rest of your tribes read more or less the same: a brief overview of how the governments work. The problem with this is while I have an understanding of government I don't know what the people are like, what is their culture like? Look at the post by Castok the Shadow, his Civilization told us about it's government, but also about the people and their culture. By the end we could understand a bit of how the humans in that story thought. In short humans are more then our government frameworks.

Good job on coming up with all of this; it's not bad it just needs more fleshing out.

I like the preview,there aren't many stories about human kingdoms in equestria so detailed

5475035 I admit, I should've put more effort into the cultures, but let's talk about the Hyper Humans for a bit.

I called them Hyper Humans because it sounded better that "enhanced humans", and I didn't want to use a term that would directly call them superhuman. The mutations made them both super strong and super smart, and I couldn't come up with a better term. If you have a better term, I'll gladly use it instead.
As for the AI, Industria has had twenty thousand years to recover from the global fallout, and with an average IQ twice as good as humans on Earth, they are insanely smart. Arcania has magic, while Industria has none and must rely on their strength and intellect. But with technology advancing faster for them due to their improved intellect, I find it had to believe that they wouldn't have something that advanced. I mean, they advance at twice the speed we do, and even after the Day of Apocalypse, they retained the knowledge of everything man had accomplished before the setback, so they just had to reinvent the parts so they could pick up where their progenitors left off. (Also, the virtual forums keep the politicians in check, for every four weeks, they're up for review by the people they represent. If they start making a bureaucratic mess, they'll likely get expelled from office when the next virtual forum comes around.)

But back to the culture aspect. I'll revise the post with the cultures of the other three tribes, which may take me an hour or two.

Thanks for the feedback!

EDIT: I finished editing it. I'm not that good at coming up with the finer details of cultures, so I hope it'll do for now.

5475438 Instead of Hyper Humans how about just Industrians.

But with technology advancing faster for them due to their improved intellect, I find it had to believe that they wouldn't have something that advanced. I mean, they advance at twice the speed we do, and even after the Day of Apocalypse, they retained the knowledge of everything man had accomplished before the setback, so they just had to reinvent the parts so they could pick up where their progenitors left off.

It sounds like you have some favoritism happening here. This tribe is borderline OP, having them retain all the knowledge of the past age and making technological advances faster then modern day is a bit much. If you look at the other tribes this one clearly stands out, and not in a good way. While the rest of the world is fighting with swords and magic this tribe is sitting back with plasma guns and tanks, which is why I said before that AI was immerse breaking. Yes, you can still use AI with enough clever writing, but you have to be careful not to make these humans too advanced.

and with an average IQ twice as good as humans on Earth

You are also going a bit overboard with a 200 IQ. A genius is considered someone with an IQ over 140, so having everyone be in the 200 is just over kill.

But that's just my opinion.

5475806 Well, I already changed the term to "Transcendants" (not a misspelling. I made that spelling up myself), so Hyper Humans is no longer an issue.

Now, as for retaining the knowledge of the tech from before the cataclysm, I never said the other three didn't, as well. It's just that Industria advances faster. Everyone is more advanced than modern Earth, but Industria is far superior in traditional tech. Arcania can hold their own with their magical compensation, but they still want what Industria has. Atlantis has power over water and what lives in it, so they can use that to advance down a new path. And Mu has their own schtick: they rule the sky, and they've also advanced in a different direction. It's just Industria are the guys who didn't have any reason to change their path, so their advantage comes from advancing at twice the rate we do. Everyone has better tech than modern Earth, it's just that only Industria put the pieces back together in the exact same way they were before they broke apart. Everyone else put the pieces together in different ways. (Plus, we already have some very humanlike AIs today. The difference here is that these moderator AIs are programmed to make them remain unbiased in spite of having learning programs using a secret code to keep them from being hacked.)

5475889 Well I suppose as long as it's balanced. Good luck with your story.

5475908 Thanks! I hope it goes over well!