Squee!

Sunset Shimmer stood on a foggy bank, looking up at the starry sky. She was enjoying a rare calm moment, with no religious zealots declaring war in her name, or appointing random days holy, or even pelting her with oranges.

She knew it couldn’t last.

From the mist she heard a boat approaching on the river. When it came into view she saw a Minotaur aspected man with black and white skin and hair. He had a white shirt with a black overshirt, one black glove and one that was white. The only bits of color were his red tie and his golden crown. She couldn’t see his face under his black and white mask and ordinary black sunglasses.

He pulled one of his oars out of the water, revealing it to be a spatula. He lifted it to his mouth, and proclaimed: “Sunset Shimmer! I am Ronmoo! I am here to defeat you and claim your mantle as my own, just like how Hamilton became president! I am the god of gods! The spatula gods!”

Oh great, she thought. Another god complex. “Do you really want to do this? If you don’t mind, maybe we could do this some other time? I was rather enjoying the night.”

Ronmoo stepped out of his rowboat, revealing that his feet were also spatulas. Okay, that’s a new one.

“No, I already told my subscribers that we’d do this tonight.”

“Your what!?” Sunset asked.

“You know, the people that watch my Ewetube account.”

“Wait a minute… Are you trying to fight me… For likes on social media?”

Ronmoo looked at his spatula feet. “...Yes?”

Sunset just facepalmed.

Rainbow Dash was the first to arrive after they all got Sunset’s ‘Harmony Text’. When she got there, she saw fires and spatulas spread all over the football-field-sized battleground where Sunset was fighting… something.

She saw them by a large boulder. Sunset was backed against it, using a shield to hold back the stream of spatulas that were flying out of the hands of the strange man fighting her.

Rainbow dove towards him, aiming to tackle him, thus breaking his attack on Sunset, but as she got close he flung one hand out towards her, and a huge spatula slammed into her from above.

As Rainbow passed out Twilight teleported onto the scene, strengthening Sunset's shield with her own. But then Ronmoo pointed one finger right at her and turned her head gem into a spatula!

Sunset woke with a start, then slowly calmed her breathing.

“What’s wrong,” Twilight asked.

“You know how I said that sometimes I missed sleep?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t think I missed dreams quite so much. Especially after watching weird Ewetube videos.”

7778045
Here is the Youtube video that inspired that short. It’s the only video of his that I’ve ever seen.

7778045

- Niiice! I expected the explanation when the headgem transformed.

Would advise PM-ing FOME in case he hasn't seen this, but it's Christmas right now and stuff, so maybe wait?

----

Typo report:

Minotuar > Minotaur

“You’re what!?” > “Your what!?”

When she got there she saw > When she got there, she saw

football field sized > football-field-sized

Sunsets > Sunset's

Ronmoo Pointed > Ronmoo pointed

7783302
Thanks for the proofreading.
Yeah, I think I'll wait 'til the 7th to send a message.
I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure this short was one of the many projects I started by idly telling my sister I could if I so chose, then just not stopping with theoreticals.
Oh yeah! I boasted that I could do a better spatula bit than Ranboo.

7783530
My apologies for the delay. Holidays aside, I'm out of the habit of looking for shorts. Still, I always appreciate them, and this is wonderfully mad. Thank you for it.

Compared to most other locations in the inner solar system, the red sands of Ares were relatively serene. With an atmosphere unbreathable to humans - not to mention the hundred million kilometer journey to reach it in the first place - it spent most of its days and nights in untouched tranquility, only disturbed by the occasional dust storm.

Today, however, was a special day, as the rhythmic clanking of a great floating machine echoed across the plains. From a far distance it resembled a star or pollen grain bobbing in the wind, but closer up, it was an intricate spiny yin-yang of orange and pink glass, an impossible clockwork ship conveying two passengers through the alien sky.

Twilight sighed happily, cuddled in the arms of her girlfriend as the machinery clunked around them, carrying them over the burnt orange vista far beneath their feet. "Thank you," she whispered.

Sunset squeezed her, gently nuzzling her hair. "No worries. I'm sorry it can't be longer," she said apologetically.

"I know," said Twilight, clasping Sunset's hand to her chest. "Don't worry, it's okay. I'm not asking you to stay just for me. You've got important things to do today."

"You're my most important thing," Sunset said, smiling gently. "But yeah, thanks for understanding. Hopefully I'll actually be able to convince the world leaders that the climate crisis isn't just going to magically go away, even if they do now have actual magic."

"How long do you have?"

"Not long. About ten minutes," Sunset said. "Let's just enjoy this while we can."

Twilight sighed dreamily. "Thank you for doing this for me anyway. I really didn't expect this from you. You even got the costumes right and everything."

"Hey, if I'm doing it, I'm doing it right," Sunset said airily.

"I'm just surprised. In a pleasant way, I mean. Honestly, I didn't even know you liked the book."

Sunset pondered for a moment. Dim sunlight flickered across her face as a spoked gearwheel span overhead. "I'm not sure if I did, to be honest."

One of Twilight's ears perked backward. "Hmm?"

"Like it, I mean. Don't get me wrong, it was a really good book. I can see why it's so famous. It was just a bit..."

"Close to home?" Twilight offered.

"Yeeeah," said Sunset, awkwardly. "Kind of set me thinking down a dark path. One that I thought I'd closed off by now."

Twilight rubbed Sunset's forearm gently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sunset shook her head. "Nah, I don't want to ruin the moment," she said, gesturing at the red desert around them. "This is for you, not for me."

Twilight smiled, twisting gently in Sunset's arms to face her. "Come on."

Sunset frowned, avoiding her gaze. She made a show of adjusting their vessel's course, but Twilight wasn't deterred. "It's nothing, really."

"Are you worried about a nuclear holocaust?"

"Oh, no," said Sunset, with a dismissive flick of her wrist. "Nuclear weapons I can deal with. Nobody's blowing up the planet on my watch." She squinted up at the tiny blue dot of Earth in the sky; in the Arean daytime, it wasn't currently visible, but she still knew she was looking directly at it. "No, it was something sillier than that. It was Dr Manehattan."

Twilight hummed, pursing her lips. "You felt like... maybe you're like him?"

"Sorta."

Twilight scrutinized Sunset for a moment. "I think I see where you're coming from. But I wouldn't say that you're very similar."

"I know," said Sunset. "I'm more powerful than him, for starters."

"Plus you've never exploded anyone," Twilight added.

Sunset's eyes wandered suddenly, one of her ears flickering. "Uh..."

Twilight blinked. "Wait, what?"

"I've never irreversibly exploded anyone."

"...kay."

"But what I mean is... he kind of scared me," Sunset admitted. "He was basically the personification of one of my biggest fears. I mean, what if, even in spite of all my efforts to stay grounded, to stay connected, to care... what if I just... drift away?"

"You wouldn't do that," said Twilight. "That's not the kind of person you are."

"I know. That's what I told myself. But what if I don't notice that it's happening?" Sunset asked. "What if it happens so slowly, so gradually that I don't realize it? That's what scares me. I can deal with cosmic threats, reality malfunctions, even my own mistakes... but I don't know how to deal with god-level apathy."

"If it happens, you won't have to deal with it alone," said Twilight. "You'll always have friends to help you through it."

"I know," Sunset sighed. "I know all that, which is why I know it's silly. It wasn't really a big deal. These are questions I've already faced many times over, and I've come to terms with my situation. I just didn't expect a darn comic book to get to me like that."

"Custodians isn't a very typical comic book," Twilight noted, smiling.

"Yeah," said Sunset, resuming her cuddle with Twilight once more. The crystal vessel bobbed gently as Sunset made another minor adjustment to its course, taking them through a shallow valley. "Anyway, as you can probably tell, I really liked this part of the book. I came over here a few times in the first couple of months, just to make sure the orbit was stable and the Horsehead hadn't developed intelligence or anything. But until I read Custodians, I never considered that Ares could be beautiful."

"That's because you never photographed it through your 14-inch refractor when you were seven years old," said Twilight, beaming. "How long do we have left?"

Sunset squinted for a moment, synchronizing with her earthly presence. "We're out of time. Sorry, hon. We'll have to leave it here."

"Actually..." Twilight's eyes suddenly widened, "can I stay here?"

"No," said Sunset, immediately.

"Just until you're done with the summit, I mean?"

"Absolutely not."

Twilight's eyes continued to widen. Sunset found what could only be some kind of invisible psychic vice closing around her, applying pressure. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Twilight, I'm not leaving you by yourself on Ares."

"I'll be really careful, I promise!" Twilight begged. "I won't do anything dangerous and I'll just be looking at the scenery and please please please please please?"

Sunset groaned, and summoned a pot of rust-colored soil into existence, manifesting a tiny portion of herself into a bloom of red-and-yellow roses. "I will be keeping part of myself here. The moment I get even a hint that something's wrong, I'll be here, global summit or not."

"Oh thank you thank you!" Twilight said, squeezing her in a tight hug. "But seriously, you really don't have to -"

"Keep your arms and legs inside the ship at all times. Do not use magic unless instructed. Do not attempt to take control of the ship."

"Sunset," Twilight frowned, as Sunset placed the potted plant on a ledge above them. "Come on, you know I won't do anything stupid."

"I know, but I also know what scientific curiosity does to you," Sunset said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "When I'm done we can come back for a proper science date, how does that sound?"

Twilight beamed, delivering a peck to Sunset's lips. "Like the most romantic thing I've ever heard."

Sunset grinned and returned the kiss. "I'm glad I'm a hundred million kilometers away from anyone who can see me being this sappy. Love you, hon. Behave yourself."

She vanished in a flash of light.

Sunset reappeared at the podium of the summit assembly hall, where a large crowd of journalists and photographers were already gathered, seated behind a panel of leaders and experts from nations all over the world.

"Sorry, sorry for being late," Sunset said, adjusting a microphone with her magic. "I had something very important to attend to first..." she tailed off as she noticed the room had fallen silent far more quickly than she expected, and many were giving her some rather surprised looks.

She blinked and looked down at her bare amber figure. "Oh, right! Clothes."

7798108

Hopefully I'll actually be able to convince the world leaders that the climate crisis isn't just going to magically go away, even if they do now have actual magic."

Yep, still gotta work at it. Even if you have alchemical tech and stuff. Then there's magically enhanced air pollution and stuff, which could be bad.

---

Well, that's one way to know where she stands. If she starts not caring about clothes. ... So, was she in the altogether when she was together with her girlfriend? If so, were they both?

Sure puts a different spin on "I'm glad I'm a hundred million kilometers away from anyone who can see me (being this sappy)."

...

Is the potted plant a reference to sentient petunias of Hitchhiker's Guide?

7798684

"Thank you for doing this for me anyway. I really didn't expect this from you. You even got the costumes right and everything."

7798779
So Twi was in a Silk Spectre costume? Interesting.

I wonder how Agitated Mythmaker (Allen Moore) is taking to magic being real.

7798684

Well, that's one way to know where she stands. If she starts not caring about clothes. ... So, was she in the altogether when she was together with her girlfriend? If so, were they both?

Sunset was. Twilight was not. :) As others have noted, they are both in appropriate costume - it's just that, as per Watchmen, Sunset's costume happens to be nothing :)

Is the potted plant a reference to sentient petunias of Hitchhiker's Guide?

Nope! I just like the idea that Sunset can manifest herself into anything, and also because it's funny to have a plant overseeing Twilight.

7799287

Well, at least after https://www.fimfiction.net/story/487596/1/pant-a-loons/on-artistic-licenses-and-their-revocation, Sunset has the whole world on watch for if she starts getting god-level apathetic about depictions of herself.

7785489 - Just in-case you didn't notice Hawthornbunny's above, and also to notify you of this.

Based off of Face Facts and Starswirl's reaction to coffee from the comics.

----

Fic:

A greater example of how the Pony of Shadows was but a dark imitation of Stygian would be hard to find, since if Stygian himself were in his place, he would've known that Coffee Swirl's resemblance to Star Swirl was greater than skin deep.

Unbeknownst to any but his closest companions, while Star Swirl's love of magic was his greatest love, after some incidents in other worlds, he returned with a new love. Coffee. And it fought strongly to try and take magic's position.

But that was in Equestria, where Star Swirl survived the years unchanged. On this magicless Earth, his counterpart lived, loved and died, with the products of his love trickling down through to the present. And under the world's "magic to science" filter, the latest creation was Coffee Swirl. The apathetic, trust-funded, third child of a coffee emperor.

----

Author's Note: Basically trying to say that Human!Starswirl was a scientist, had kids, passed down his love of coffee and less of his love of science, and Coffee Swirl ended up with nearly no passion or something, but a lotta money? At least he's not wasteful with it, just living a nice life in the city?

Not sure if I can make more coffee wordplay.

-------------
EDIT:

V - Thanks for confirming my gut feeling!

7802000
Thanks for the heads-up. Sorry, 7798108, I'll get this up ASAP. Already did a belated Never the Final Word update today, after all.

As for your idea, Malandy... Well, it's an idea still. A concept. An interesting one, yes, but it needs to be extended into an actual plot before I can accept it.

7802034
No worries! I figured you'd get to it whenever :)

This one's several years in the future relative to most of the content:

Twichotomy

The rainbow of Harmony didn’t feel how Storm Surge had expected it to. The light stung her eyes, leaving inverted spectra when she shut them. A constant prickling like an unreachable itch swept across her whole body, especially around her neck as it tugged at the Alicorn Amulet. The Amulet’s silent screams in her third ear didn’t help.

But most interesting of all was the sensation that wasn’t there. No sense of guilt or remorse imposed itself on Storm’s mind, which just confirmed her suspicion that Princess Luna had been a weakling beneath the Nightmare’s bluster.

As the radiance faded, and with it the tornadoes she had summoned to level Ponyville, Storm got to her hooves, emphasizing every bodily tremor and keeping her wings limp. She even stumbled like a newborn foal a few times, just like she’d practiced.

“Land’s sakes…” said Applejack, and Storm held back a grin. Failing to plan was planning to fail, as the saying went, but actually planning for failure never hurt.

She turned the chuckle that threatened to betray her into a coughing sob and, still averting her eyes, said, “I’m so sorry! When I was a filly—”

Another, sharper pain interrupted Storm, like something had bitten and burned through her left ear at the same time. She clapped a hoof over it, words slipping out before she could think about them. “Gah! What the mule-rutting buck!?”

“Twilight, we’ve talked about this.” Fluttershy didn’t sound afraid, which must have been a rarity for her. She just seemed… disappointed?

“And when someone’s actually contrite after we blast them, I won’t shoot.”

Finally, Storm looked up. That had been the princess’s voice, yes, but the tone had been wrong. Rather than the insufferable serenity she’d heard in newsreels and radio broadcasts, this had been… not cruel, but annoyed. As though the righteous crusade to bring pegasi to their proper place was just an inconvenience for the princess to deal with.

Except that this wasn’t the princess.

Storm hadn’t gotten a good view of the surface as she’d led her vortices forward, just the rainbow rising up to meet her. Now she took in a human, a rare sight indeed in Cloudsdale. Even the ones who aped pegasus flight couldn’t manage cloudwalking, and this one had a weak facsimile of a unicorn horn instead. She—it was probably a mare going by the voice—also wore a full suit of armor the same color as Storm’s indigo coat and hefted a small cannon that definitely didn’t shoot parties. The business end still had a faint red glow, presumably after firing whatever had hit Storm’s ear.

“Hello,” said the human. “You were probably expecting Princess Twilight. Unfortunately, Princess Twilight is currently at a peace summit on the other side of the planet, and even if she weren’t, leaving would offend at least five other nations. She also created a form for scheduling coups and rampages specifically to avoid this kind of thing.”

Storm sneered. No sense maintaining the facade if the mare with the artillery piece didn’t believe it. She’d have already fled if the rainbow hadn’t left her genuinely exhausted. “I’m not going to sweep away her decadent regime at her convenience.”

The human shook her head. “It’s not for her convenience. It’s for your safety.” She pressed a few buttons at the base of her neck. The armor’s helmet folded into the rest of it, revealing a head with a pale lavender complexion, a bizarre visor across the eyes, and a short-cropped mane with an all-too-familiar two-tone streak. “Because when Princess Twilight can’t make it, you get Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer.

“Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer also has other things she’d rather be doing. Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer has a Paradiamond-powered vocal analysis algorithm that, to use the local vernacular, can tell when you’re dropping horse apples out the wrong end.” Various parts of the cannon began to glow and spin. An ominous hum began low enough to feel in Storm’s bones and steadily rose in pitch. “And Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer is much a bigger believer in the power of coherent plasma as a reformation tool.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes “Going a little heavy on the Trixie there, Twi.”

“Fool!” cried Pinkie Pie, wearing thick glasses and a lab coat. “She’ll show us all!”

Telekinesis constricted around Storm’s barrel. “You’ll want to take off the Amulet, darling.” She hadn’t even noticed Rarity moving behind her. “She only fires the one warning shot.”

Storm did so, despite the Amulet’s continuing screams. The corrupting power of infinite magic was one thing. A cannon that was now making a sound she could feel in her teeth was quite another.

7834054

This one's several years in the future relative to most of the content:

I guess that explains the doctor. I thought they were a fusion, but no, that's just her surname!

This story just keeps escalating in humor!

7834054

She—it was probably a mare going by the voice—also wore a full suit of armor the same color as Storm’s indigo coat and hefted a small cannon that definitely didn’t shoot parties.

PINKIE: You can't spell "high energy particle beam" without "party"!

Glad to see the ship remains as strong as ever however far into the future this is ^^

Iron Twilight with a particle cannon

Adagio had heard a lot of madness over the years. Inciting several wars had given her plenty of experience there, to say nothing of delving into the abyssal depths of her home’s oceans and having to listen to Mr. Discord before he had his first cup of coffee.

“You want to do an ad read.”

Nothing quite compared to what she’d just heard Aria tell her.

“I will do the next ad read,” Aria insisted, glaring at Adagio with her arms crossed.

“You want to do an ad read.” In Adagio’s defense, centuries of Aria not volunteering for anything unless there was a chance of bloodshed had left her unprepared for this, to say nothing of the other siren storming into her room unannounced. (After those same centuries, all three sirens knew better than to share a bedroom. Mr. Discord had happily accommodated them with a little chaos magic-powered remodeling.)

Aria rolled her eyes. “Is this going to be a whole thing?”

“Sonata always does the ad reads,” Adagio said with the same certainty as reciting a law of physics. Objects fell. The sun rose and set. Sonata did the grunt work that called for a smile.

“Sonata wouldn’t know dignity if she bit it in half,” Aria snarled.

Adagio nodded. That too was set in stone. “And yet you want—”

“I’m willing to make an exception.”

That got a sigh as Adagio recalled just who had offered to pay for singing their praises on My Sister, My Sister, and Me. “Should I just assume we’re losing this sponsor?”

Aria just grinned. Out of the three sirens, she definitely appreciated getting back their old teeth the most.

“… and so, no, ‘Family in Fillydelphia,’” Adagio concluded, “I am almost positive we’re not related.”

“That’s probably true,” said Sonata, staring at the ceiling and still thinking about a digression from three minutes earlier, “but what does it have to do with those things on the ends of shoelaces?”

Adagio permitted herself a slight smirk. It wasn’t like they were recording video today. “While we contemplate that, let’s have a word from our sponsors. Aria?”

Sonata sat up, previous thought forgotten. “Wait, what?”

Aria scowled at her, but it was one of her more affectionate scowls. “You’re not the only one who can deliver a sales pitch.” She cleared her throat, picked up the suggested ad copy, and promptly tore it in half. “Do you want to embark on a fantastic journey of magic and machinery? Well, there’s probably some games out there that can give you one, or you could put Love Love Naval Academy on your phone.

“Feel your phone overheat as it struggles to render enough particle effects and big numbers to make you think you’re playing a slot machine. Because you are playing a slot machine. It just pays out in imaginary currency and image files of girls wearing sailor uniforms and boat parts who are allegedly above the age of consent.

“Use the code DAZZ50—that’s dee aye zee zee five zero—for a bunch of fake money that would usually cost you real money. And do it fast, ‘cause they’re probably pulling the sponsorship as we speak. Love Love Naval Academy: You can’t buy self-respect, so you might as well embrace why you don’t have any.” Aria sat back with the same satisfied grin that followed her reaction to some idiot calling women “the weaker sex.”

Adagio shook away the pleasant memories. “We do need to make a living, Aria. Unless you want to go back to being Mr. Discord’s teaching assistant.”

“Or prison,” added Sonata.

Aria shrugged. “Eh, that got old.”

Sonata tilted her head in thought. “Which one?”

“Yes. Besides, speaking as a sea monster who used to feed on people's hatred, I say these things give predatory tactics a bad name."

Adagio thought about that for a moment. "Valid point, amazingly enough. Who’s up for another letter from the mailbag?”

OOF Not a kancolle fan?

7851866

Or it could be Azur Lane, but "Love Love" just sounds Japanese, true.

EDIT:

Adagio had heard a lot of madness over the years. Inciting several wars had given her plenty of experience there, to say nothing of delving into the abyssal depths of her home’s oceans and having to listen to Mr. Discord before he had his first cup of coffee.

“You want to do an ad read.”

Perhaps Aria just has something against the idea of Naval Warfare fused with Moe Anthro? The sirens live used to live the sea, after all?

This is my first Flash Fiction so am open to any critisism, please enjoy:

An orange skinned teen, with a unicorn aspect, was carrying his laptop down the hall of CHS, glad the universal goddess had agreed to, at least, hear out the request he had. Once in the room she agreed to meet in, he set his laptop up and waited. With a bright flash, Sunset appeared and nodded to the teen.

“Thank you for agreeing to this Sunset, as promised, I will not try and beg if you say no,” the teen said, pressing a key on his laptop to start the presentation he made.

“Sure Rusty,” Sunset began, “Not many people ask in the way you did, they usually just demand it until I say something.”

Rusty nodded and began the presentation, the first slide having an image of a fictional island. “If you would, please close your eyes and picture a land where the sky is so blue…”

Half an hour later, the last slide of Rusty's presentation was on screen, depicting a blue, orange, and white flag. He nodded to Sunset, signifying that he was done. She looked at him with a thoughtful expression before giving a sad smile.

“As much as this was a very well put together proposal, I think you know that the risks, and possible consequences, of expanding an island, and giving locomotives sentience would significantly outweigh the potential benefits…” 

The teen had a sad, but understanding look, and nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck and spoke. “Yeah, I kinda figured it was a long shot, but I was always taught that it never hurts to ask.”

“Well, I can’t do things exactly how you want, but I think I can do something that you may enjoy almost as much.” 

At this comment, Rusty looked at the deity with interest, wondering what she would do…

A few days later, Twilight and Sunset were talking, when Sunset’s phone went off. She was grumpy at first, thinking it was someone with a crazy request, like Rainbow Dash. Upon checking her texts, however, she smiled. When Twilight asked what was up, Sunset showed her her a picture of Rusty in his massive basement, watching his new, scale mode, replica of a fictional railway with a grin, a little blue model engine visible in the background.

7864419
I'm going to make some tweaks in the official release, but this is pretty dang good overall.

7864485
Thanks, based on what I have read so far, Sunset gets bothered/annoyed by people with dumb requests/demands A LOT, so I thought I would go a more respectful route.

Feel free to add anything you think it needs as well

5951002
Sorry for bringing this up from so many years ago... but why the Irish Sea?

7864507
Heh heh, I think you know. Never did follow up on that though, or on Serendip, although looking on google to check the spelling, that may just be Sri Lanka.

7864565
Would it happen to relate to my username in some way?

7864632
Yes.

7864667
Hehe, very nice

Oh, wait, shoot. Self aware vehicles- locomotives included- might still happen fairly soon anyway. Paradimond exists, and railroads are looking for ways to save money all the time, and if they can increase safety at the same time, all the better. If you can find a way to not need someone in the cab, that saves on personal costs and eliminates the possibility of human error at the same time.

Probably not enough for a chapter on it’s own, but I thought up a conversation between a railroad executive and an underling. Maybe someone can build off of this…

“They’re… On strike?”
“Yes sir.”
“Why? What are they demanding?”
“Well, sir, they say the level of maintenance they’ve been receiving is unacceptably poor and might even lead to an accident. They don’t want one of those to happen any more than we do.”
“I suppose. *Sigh* Let’s bring in an outside inspector, check their claims and see where we can improve. Give them access to whatever employees and records they need for their review. That’s going to take a little while to organize and complete, so see if you can get those locomotives back to work in the interim.”
“Yes sir.”

7867502
A red engine, blue engine, and green engine are the ones on strike, right?

Probably diesel or electric due the time period, but those colors, right?

7867532
Those colors might be in there, but I was imagining a lot more than three locomotives.

7867534
Fair!

Based off of Face Facts and Starswirl's reaction to coffee from the comics.

Was thinking up the idea from before, and I hit upon how Winter Lights is sorta like a Sunset so she might be able to become a goddess, powered by Shadows, instead of Harmony or Chaos. A third power. Although, the Man / Pony of Shadows thinks itself in charge. Then there's whatever Discord's doing with the group.

Dropping this here because I can't think of more plot. Although, Juniper Montage is sorta like Beauty? Focused on external appearances...

----

A greater example of how the Pony of Shadows was but a dark imitation of Stygian would be hard to find, since if Stygian himself were in his place, he would've known that Coffee Swirl's resemblance to Star Swirl was more than skin deep.

Unbeknownst to any but his closest companions, while Star Swirl's love of magic was his greatest love, after some incidents in other worlds, he returned with a new love. Coffee. And it fought strongly to try and take magic's position.

But that was in Equestria, where Star Swirl survived the years unchanged. On this magicless Earth, his counterpart lived, loved and died, with the products of his love percolating through time, to the present day. And under the world's "magic to science" filter, the latest creation was Coffee Swirl. The apathetic, trust-funded, third child of a coffee emperor.

With that genetic connection to Starswirl as part of his forces, along with having reflections of other important, magical ponies in his specifically selected forces, capped off with the Pony of Shadows being previously being part of Stygian.

Given what happened to the real Pony of Shadows when faced with the real Elements of Harmony, this fake's collection of people connected to both the Pillars of Equestria and Elements of Harmony would have been more concerning if he had more knowledge.

But behind every great man is a great woman, and Winter Lights was an older woman, trained to be a princess before being trapped on this planet as a human. She knew where she stood, and was eagerly awaiting her apotheosis.

7871291
I do have to say that there's just not enough here at the moment. It's a vague idea, not a complete story or even a scene.

7871919

Thanks! Will let it cook more.

Who Wants to Live Forever?

“I’m going to need to see some ID, Miss.”

Intellectually, Adagio Dazzle knew she should savor this sort of thing, given the wrinkles and gray hairs waiting for her scant decades in the future. But she’d putting with a slow infantilization for decades as it was, what with society continually expanding the scope of childhood. She was in no mood to put up with it now. Especially not today of all days.

“Miss—”

“I heard you the first time.” Sadly, a quick tune to enflame the wage slave’s scorn at pointless protocols wasn’t an option anymore, so Adagio had to play along. As if actually having to pay for things wasn’t insulting enough. Especially wine. She grudgingly pulled the relevant piece of plastic out of her purse.

Adagio watched the cashier deal with the unfamiliar sensation of thinking for a few mildly entertaining moments. Then he looked at her with something resembling pity, and she had to keep herself from throwing the first physical punch. “Miss, if you’re going to use a fake ID, at least put a number on the birthdate.”

That got him a flat look. “I hatched in the oceans of another world, twisting my siblings into tearing each other apart so I could claim the right to live. I wasn’t exactly looking at the calendar at the time. Hence ‘indeterminate.’”

The cashier didn’t answer. The concept may have been too complicated for him, or he was simply entranced by Adagio’s picture on her ID. Though furrowed brows didn’t usually go with enthrallment. “We also don’t recognize… ‘Beautiful Assistant Permits’ here.”

Adagio sighed. “Mr. Discord insists I’m several years and published papers away from a full mad scientist’s license.”

It took her a moment to recognize the look that engendered. Sympathy had been a rarity over the years. “Oh, you work for Mr. Discord.” Finally, the cashier began scanning her purchase. “You can just say that next time.”

Only after spotting the security camera—one that the earth aspect bagging the wine had more influence over than Adagio did—did she hold herself back from any response beyond a “Duly noted.”

“Hey, everything okay?” said Lemon Zest. “You not eating isn’t a red flag so much as a matador in the color guard.”

Sonata looked up from picking at her taco salad and shrugged. “It’s… well, it isn’t really a siren holiday. We didn’t have those back home. But I guess anything we came up with here counts.”

“Like the anniversary of the day you came here?” Sunny Flare said from next to her not-my-girlfriend. (They were still several months away from their official first date.)

Sonata shook her head. “Not something we really want to celebrate. And it’s not like we were looking at a calendar back then. But it is a sad anniversary.”

Both girls made interested human sounds. It was enough to get Sonata through the pain of the next sentence:

“Red Mercury died today.”

Sunny screwed up her face. “The singer from Princess?”

Lemon just nodded. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“It does?”

“If he’d lived to see magic, he’d have been a siren aspect.”

Sonata nodded. “He basically already was one.”

Sunny leaned back, crossing her arms. “Really?”

“To be fair-eon, Flareon—”

“Never call me by the name of a Capsumon again.”

Lemon stuck out her tongue at her. “I promise nothing. But some of the tracks are borderline supernatural. You start singing Bohaymian Rhapsody and people will join in.”

Sonata nodded. “Adagio spent a week listening to it, trying to figure out how he’d enchanted it. Aria had to break the record after she started talking about summoning the demons in the lyrics to get answers out of them.”

“Understandable,” said Sunny.

Lemon took a moment to answer, a rare frown on her face. “An unforgivable crime against vinyl,” she eventually allowed, “but for good reasons.”

“We met him once in the 80s.” Sonata smiled at the memory. “In all the time we’ve spent on this world, he was the only person all three of us liked.”

“Really wish I could have toured with you girls.” Lemon paused for a moment, thinking. “You know, barring the constant emotional abuse.”

“Wouldn’t be that different from Crystal Prep.”

“Principal Cadence is working on it.”

Sunny quirked an eyebrow. “How did you put it once? ‘Inertia is a harsh mistress,’ something like that.”

“Along those lines, yeah. But we’re not in class right now. This is a safe space for sincere emotional expression.” Lemon raised her soda. “To Red. May he be cycling with bottom-heavy girls in the hereafter.”

The other met the toast as best they could with paper cups. “To Red.”

One of the few things the sirens agreed on when Mr Discord designed their bedrooms, aside from having individual bedrooms in the first place, was high-quality sound systems. Indeed, all three had brought up speaker fidelity and soundproofing before such minor matters as a bed or a closet.

As such, opening Aria’s door meant getting hit with an almost palpable blast of sound.

Mr. Discord’s lips curled into a fond smile. “Ah, this takes me back. Luna used to sulk to this exact song.”

Aria briefly glared at him before her head rolled back into the embrace of her beanbag chair. “Get out of my room.”

“The nostalgia just keeps on coming. I don’t suppose you’re hiding any star-speckled teddy bears in here?”

That got her to look up more firmly, snarling and baring her shark-like teeth.

Mr. Discord sighed, his expression drooping to something more empathetic. “For the record, I provided the tapes she sulked to, as I have with a much younger niece. The world lost a great artist with his passing. I suppose being a siren means you feel the loss that much more keenly.”

Aria’s gaze darted away. “Out of all the sucky humans in the world, he sucked the least.”

“High praise. Adagio’s downstairs, working her way through a bottle of Chardoneigh. It doesn’t do anything for me anymore, but I’m providing moral support, ambiance, and detox should it prove necessary. You’re welcome to join us.”

Aria curled up, turning away from him. “Eh.”

“Fair enough.” Mr. Discord left, closing the door behind him.

After a few more minutes and the album moving onto Invisible Man, Aria groaned, forced herself out of the chair, and made her way downstairs. No one said anything, but they did clink glasses.

(After I saw the Tumblr post, this was inevitable.)

Not sure who to start with start this, so I'll just say that this is after "Where Parallel Lines Cross Over, by Tophe" and the two players she was playing with was Blue Oyster and Raspberry Fluff.

----

After gathering her cards and returning to her game in conventional spacetime, Ditzy's fellow players weren't quite ready to resume. Even after getting a short answer of what happened, it just led to less relevant questions, the first one being "What (do you think) are our alternates like?" since out of her world's native inhabitants, Ditzy's whole body was above anyone else's in experiencing other universes.

And even though that wasn't the high bar it sounded like, this Ditzy still was in the top percentage of all possible Ditzies when measuring by "number of worlds visited", so she could say some non-classified things. Eager to actually relax and finish the game, she decided to lead with the most surprising fact first:

Her pony counterpart in the world through the Wondercolt statue was actually less impressive than her human self. she was just a a wife, a mother, a postal worker, and not much more besides.
----
Explanation of things:

"Ditzy's whole body was above anyone else's" is a play on "head and shoulders above X".

Was just wondering about the question of "What's Pony Ditzy like? Since she's not a planeswalker."

...

Should do more with this. Have it be a Just In Time Sunset Interruption thing, Ditzy being about to Copy a Eldrazi with like Body Double or something, and if she did, then she'd Eldrazi.

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Terribly sorry for the delay; I just saw this. And yes, you'll need to do more with it before I can add it to the anthology.

“WHAT!?”

Indignant screams weren’t unheard of in the Canterlot High cafeteria, but they usually came from Sunset when one of her followers did something stupid, or from Sweetie Belle when one of Sunset’s followers was going to do something stupid. One coming from Pinkie Pie was almost unheard of.

“Hey,” said Ditzy Doo, “if you don’t believe me, I’ll show you.” She paid for her lunch and followed Pinkie to the latter’s usual table, where all of her friends awaited with varying degrees of concern.

Sunset took a deep breath. “Okay. On a scale from one to yes, how worried should I be?”

“Oh.” Pinkie let her tray clatter to the table, the better to cross her arms and narrow her eyes. “We’ll see.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “This ain’t another ‘cupcakes vs. muffins’ thing, is it? ‘Cause Granny ain’t gonna stand fer that kinda thing in ‘er cafeteria again.”

“Nothing of the sort,” said Ditzy. She turned to Rainbow Dash and Twilight. They weren’t sitting next to each other, but that wasn’t an issue for her. “I was hoping you two could settle something for me.”

They exchanged an uncertain glance. “Why us?” said Dash.

“I’m happy to answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability, even if… well, you do have a tendency to raise them more often than not. But this…” Twilight blinked as the penny dropped. “Oh. It’s Daring Do, isn’t it?”

Ditzy nodded. “Just wanted to confirm A. K. Yearling’s full name. I heard it from Blue Oyster the other day, but that didn’t sound right.”

More wary looks flitted across the lunch table. “Okay…” said both.

“I mean, really, who’d name their kid Aerling Kearling Yearling?”

Silence stretched on for several seconds. Then Dash and Twilight both started cackling like idiots, doubling over even as their friends looked on in fond disgust. All except Pinkie Pie, who just glared at Ditzy even more angrily.

“It’s Alluvial Karst Yearling, for the record,” Fluttershy said, having looked it up on her phone.

“Yeah, I know.” Ditzy smirked at Pinkie. “Told you I could tell a joke only those two would laugh at.”

“You win this round, Doo.” Pinkie managed to hold the pout for all of five seconds before devolving into her own giggle fit.

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That sure is a silly name! Is Aerling Kearling Yearling some sort of joke beyond just being a silly name that would impact her fans the most?

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A joking nickname for J. K. Rowling that appears to date back to this fake tweet.

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Sunset was smarter than she looked, which was saying something. At her highest level, she comprehended all the truths of physical reality at the same instinctive level as a child running the calculus needed to predict a ball’s path in order to catch it. Even the avatar she used to maintain her humanity had a general idea of where the current model diverged from the real thing, to say nothing of those terrifying first few minutes where the real thing had been ever more rapidly diverging from its own stable behavior.

Of course, understanding the true nature of dark energy and quantum gravity on such an intrinsic level made it difficult to put it into words, to say nothing of how Twilight never would have forgiven her if she just handed the knowledge down from on high without letting humanity discover it for themselves. The scientific community wouldn’t accept it even if she did; not-quite-divine revelation was right up there with “Dude, trust me” in terms of reliable, reproducible sources.

That also didn’t mean Sunset was omniscient. There was a lot more to know than the dances of galaxies and electrons: The nature of the Fae, the stubborn minds of her worshipers, what to get Twilight for Hearts in Hands Day, and more besides.

Today, she had come back to one particular irritant that had been lodged in her throats since her audience with the Tree of Harmony, the idea that the world was “intended” to have been so low-magic as to be mistaken for not having any at all, save for key “necessities.” She hadn’t had time to dig into that with the Tree back when the world had been less than an hour away from total collapse, but now she could at least try to explore the concept.

Thus an extension of Sunset sat in the still violently orange Astral Plane, on a comfortable if unpronounceable recliner, focusing on that mystery and a single goal: Finding the son of a mule who was responsible for the decisions she’d had to revise.

Sure, it wasn’t the most enlightened approach to the problem, but if the Shimmerists got a higher power to turn to, then it was only fair that she get someone to blame.

A rectangular window into the material world opened before her, and Sunset peered deep into the truth.

Two unicorn aspects sat facing one another, spells and summoned creatures scattered between them in inscrutable, arcane arrangements. One scowled. The other assessed the situation with apparent calm, belied only by his leg shaking under the table.

He turned several cards sideways. “And that’s eight in the air,” he said, his skin and hair oddly reminiscent of Snails if one ignored the age, glasses, and handlebar mustache. “Responses?”

Shining Armor threw down his hand of Hocus Pocus: the Get-Together cards in frustration. “One day. One day I will defeat you.”

That got a shrug. “It’s just a game, Shining. Good match.” The man extended his hand.

Shining sighed and shook it. “Yeah, yeah. Good match, Thought Bubble.”

The window snapped shut, and Sunset Shimmer, Catalyst of Harmony, soul of the universe, goddess in denial, frowned and leaned back in her chair.

“I don’t get it.”

(A/N: Shameless self-insert go!)

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Ha! Nice! Thought Bubble!

Well, at least it's hinting that the Tree was right, if it's not something that can be explained by someone of her current capabilities even with tons of hyper-sped-up time, then how would she figure it out in a few seconds?

Derponic Consultation

Friendship was magic.

Not all human magic was friendship, but the old Equestrian homily still held true even in this brave new world. So did all of the verifiable phenomena it implied, like sympathetic bonds. Sunset usually chose not to perceive the vast web of social relationships that crisscrossed Canterlot High; doing so would make it hard to see anything else. But focusing solely on the connections to a specific person drew her to her quarry as inevitably as gravity.

Even if that quarry turned out to treat gravity as optional. "Ditzy. Somehow I'm not surprised."

"Nice to see you too," Ditzy Doo said with a lopsided smile. "What did I break this time?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Why would you think you broke something?"

That got a shrug and a sad "Pattern recognition."

"You haven't done anything wrong." And, because Sunset also had good pattern recognition, she added, "Not as far as I can tell, anyway. But someone you're close to has gotten my attention, and I was hoping you could tell me about him." A minor exertion of will manifested a sheet of paper with Thought Bubble's face on it, captured from Sunset's own memory.

One glance at the picture and Ditzy was so surprised, she was almost seeing straight. "My cousin broke reality? That'd be a first for him."

"No one broke re..." Sunset trailed off as she considered what other extensions of herself had been up to this week. "No one you know broke reality. Recently. But I've been trying to get answers to some deep cosmic questions and he came up. What can you tell me about him?"

"He's a nice guy, but nobody special in the grand scheme of things," Ditzy said with a shrug. "The most cosmically significant thing he ever did was teach me how to play Hocus Pocus: the Get-Together. Which, you know, introduced me to the idea of multiverses." She tapped her seven-bubble tie clip.

"Huh. So not some transcendent being in mortal guise or anything?"

Ditzy snorted at that. "He writes fan fiction, Sunset. If he's a transcendent being, I'm an eldritch horror."

Sunset gave her a flat look. "You're a six-dimensional entity who wanders from universe to universe as a congery of iridescent spheres."

Ditzy rolled her eyes, which admittedly would've been quite the experience for someone who didn't have the constitution for mathematics. "Anyone can sound eldritch if you hit a thesaurus that hard. You know what I mean."

"At this point?" Sunset scowled at the externalized memory. "I'm not sure I do."

After a suitably dramatic pause, Ditzy cleared her throat. "Have you considered, you know, talking to him about it?"

"Now that you've confirmed that he isn't a bigger fish slumming it in our universe, I may do just that."

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Title reuse? https://www.fimfiction.net/story/323071/167/group-precipitation/derponic-consultation-by-saintabsol

Interesting place to put Thought Bubble! Makes sense though. Bubbles.
...

No one you know broke reality. Recently.

Well, hopefully that keeps happening less often, otherwise she isn't doing her job that well?

...

"Anyone can sound eldritch if you hit a thesaurus that hard."

Niice!
...

""At this point?" [Double "]