Short or very short stories in and around the Oversaturated World. Go!

"Show some respect fer yer elders, Jackie, Ah ain't deaf!" barked Granny. "Ah understand that Shimmer girl turned inta a sun goddess and changed the world bah magic."

"Uh, good. You just seem weirdly... chill about all this."

Granny smiled. "Ye say tha world's changed forever. Ah've heard that before. They said it when Fence Gates invented tha Internet. They said it when they split tha atom. An' by gum, they'll say it again someday!"

"Ah don't think this is entirely comparable."

"They said that before too. Now, since y'all can lift fifty stone onehanded, there's some chores need doin'..."

5064522

at least a hundred words or less

You may want to rephrase that.

That being said, very nice piece. Granny raises an excellent point.

5064595 Duly clarified.

I took the idea from the Hundred Word Optimalverse Stories thread. It's a fantastic story prompt, but the strict wordcount constraint bugs me sometimes. Let's see what happens if it's relaxed a little.

"Hey!"

Sunset looked away from her locker to see a scowling Scootaloo. "Yes?"

"I want to file a bug report."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

Scootaloo spread her wings... which didn't even extend past her shoulders. She grunted and groaned like a constipated anime character and managed maybe an inch of altitude before landing, panting and furious. "What... gives?"

"Well..." Sunset put a hand on her chin as she thought. "Fluttershy's closer to animals than ever, but she has a very low top flight speed. Maybe unusual talents like your fate magic come at the cost of normal pegasus magic." She frowned. "I may have done this to you, Scootaloo. I'm sorry." She reached out to put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder.

After a blur of motion, Scootaloo wasn't there. "It's not all bad," she said from behind Sunset.

Sunset turned. "Wha—"

Judging by the blur and the brief pressure on Sunset's shoulders, Scootaloo vaulted over her at ludicrous speed and, once more behind her, said, "I'm still pretty awesome. Just wanted to know why I couldn't get airborne."

(Just like her pony counterpart, lots of thrust, very little lift. For now, at least.)

The president looked over the new diplomatic envoy. Even with the feathers down his neck, he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

"<Chriiip Krrk keeek-keke yurplip!>"

Sea Swirl cleared her throat. "The honorable Screamseeker understands your surprise, but wishes you to know that his service octopi can only last so long even within a magically propelled spout of seawater and would like your response before he has to return to his pod."

That managed to shake the president out of his shock. "Ah. Yes. Well." He cleared his throat. "I will have to consult with my advisors, but I suspect that they will agree quite readily to an alliance with the..." He gave Sea Swirl a look. "Green-kelp pod?"

"Greensea, sir. Green-Kelp is... a rival pod."

"Ah. My mistake."

Sea Swirl nodded, turning to the twisting column of water. "<Flii krknrup pepepep chiprachip!>"

"<Ayheyheyheyheyhey!>" With a clap of its forefins, the dolphin leaned out of the water and planted a toothy kiss on the president's forehead, then on Seaswirl's, before turning around and directing it back into the greater sea.

The president turned to the young girl.

"...Dolphins."

"Dolphins."

Twilight massaged her forehead. “No, I mean the geometry of the space you travel through. Is it Eweclidean? Mincowski? Is it even a manifold?”

“Yup.” Pinkie nodded sagely. “I have no idea what those are.”

“Well, is it hyperbolic, elliptical, or flat?”

“Oh, definitely not flat. It's all floofy, like cotton candy!”

“Ugh, this was a waste of my time. Sorry, Pinkie, but if you don't have the technical basics to – wait, how is it like cotton candy?”

“Well, cotton candy's made of sugar threads wrapped around a long stick. So if the stick is the universe, the candy is like...”

* * *

… this five-dimensional region is surrounded by the Bubble Bath, which doesn't contain any strawberryways because it would dissolve the sugar.

I would like to thank Pinkamena Pie for her contributions to this chapter.

- extract from Probability Space: A Primer by Twilight Sparkle

Some time later...

Twilight sighed longingly, her head resting on the Cutie Map. Odds were that she couldn't sway the mysterious artifact through the same passive-aggressive tactics that always worked on Shining Armor, but it was worth a try. After all, it wasn't like she had anything better to do, even while some ponies were allowed to go to Manehattan.

"You did have two missions, you know," Spike said as he entered the throne room.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "The second one hardly counts. I don't even know why I was supposed to go with Sunset to the Tree of—" She gasped, cried "Sunset!" and dashed out of the room.

Spike hurried to keep up. "What about her?"

"Well, I may not have anything to do in this world, but I'm sure my friends in the human world wouldn't mind a surprise visit."

"Surprise?" Spike scowled as he finally caught up to Twilight, who was activating the portal. "You can't expect them to drop everything just because you're bored."

"Of course not." Twilight pranced in place as she waited for the override device to warm up. "If class is in session, I'll just wait in the library or something. I've barely even looked at their history."

The portal opened with a flash, displaying a pattern on the rippling spacetime membrane. "Huh," said Spike. "That's new." Five symbols lay in a pentagon, each in a slashed-circle "no" symbol. One was a silhouette of Discord's head, but the other four were cutie marks. "So, no Cadence, no Celestia, no Luna, and..." Spike hissed through his teeth. "Oh."

Twilight felt herself fall back on her haunches. "Well. Great. Wonderful! More than one universe doesn't want me to do anything!"

The symbols shifted and formed a familiar face. "Nothing personal, Twilight," said Sunset Shimmer. "It's just not safe to have an alicorn over here quite yet, and one Discord is frankly more than enough. If it's any consolation, we're in the middle of summer vacation. I'll see if the girls want to visit Equestria." With that, the portal pulsed with energy, shutting down the override device.

"Well, that should be fun, right, Twilight?" After a moment, Spike looked at up at the mare. "Uh, Twilight?"

"What am I going to do until then!?"

5068011

"Why, SCIENCE!"

Spike jumped as Discord dropped in out of nowhere, begarbed in a labcoat. "What?!"

"Science?" Twilight tilted her head.

"SCIENCE!" proclaimed Discord, juggling multicolored test tubes.

Spike rose an eyeridge. "Science."

"Science...." Twilight mused.

"Science," Discord suggested.

"Science...?"

"Science!"

Spike backed away, cautiously. "Science?!"

"SCIENCE!" Twilight cried with a wide grin.

"SCIENCE!" echoed Discord.

Shortly after interfacing an enchanted hoofmirror, a transdimensional relay, and a Linux smartphone...

"Look, you can't sign yourself Twilight Sparkle in Equestria. That's my name."

"It's mine too."

"I had it first."

"I don't have any other names I can use. You change, you can be HRH The Princess of Friendship."

"Absolutely not. I already had that argument with Luna once."

"Well, what's your idea?"

"We won't be the only ones dealing with this. Almost everybody has a duplicate, we need to establish a general convention."

"Oh, I see. So you can be Twilight-E, for Equestria, and I can be - no, Earth starts with an E as well."

"What's Earth?"

BE FOREWARNED THE FOLLOWING INVOLVES PROFANITY, FRANK DISCUSSIONS OF SEX, AND ADULT BISEXUAL WOMEN! YOU ARE FOREWARNED!

"...You are out of your flipping mind."

"Lulu, the fact that you said 'flipping' instead of 'fucking' just further proves my point."

Luna sighed, rubbing the crystal that had recently appeared on her forehead. "Chrysalis," she growled, "I am not. Going to make some sort of dreamworld brothel."

Across from her, stretching out her now longer legs, an ebony-skinned woman steepled her fingers with a smirk. "Whenever something new comes into existence, it's only a matter of time before somebody starts thinking about how to use it for sex. Just over this last week I've had a hundred new bedroom spells given to me by my children to look over. And some of them were quite exotic."

"Putting aside your cult's unnervingly... intimate nature," the blue woman said with a small shudder, "and the inevitable experimentation that, yes, I accept is going to happen... I don't see the point behind your proposal."

"Well, there are multiple points. Firstly, you can do in dreams what would be impossible in reality, even with magic. Secondly, dreams are private, for the most part, to a degree that reality is again unable to satisfy--"

"That might give legitimacy to people adjusting their own dreams--"

"--but the biggest point, I think, is curiosity." Chrysalis rolled her shoulders (and Luna managed to keep her blush down to a faint red line out of sheer willpower). "Let's be honest, almost nobody wants to admit to going into a sex shop, but almost everybody wants to poke their head in at some point. What I'm proposing isn't just a brothel, but a way to provide answers to questions that people would be too embarrassed to ask when they were awake."

Luna narrowed her eyes. "You were saying you'd have members of your church ready for private services."

"Only for paying customers," Chrysalis countered with an airy wave. "The main lobby wouldn't have any activity, just some informational pamphlets and, well." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her clasped hands (and oh, was that a low-cut dress she wore--Luna forced her eyes to snap back up). "Obviously, I would be there, to handle questions and generally be a secretary."

"That still sounds like a way to recruit innocent young members into your religion--"

"Harmonists have been running soup kitchens for ages, Lulu. The Wholesome would just offer something similar. And besides," she added as she flipped her long, silken hair (she always did that, and it frustrated the poor vice principal because she know Chrysalis knew that she got flustered when she did), "If I didn't do it, somebody eventually would. At least this way you have some idea of the areas you want to avoid, instead of stumbling on some up and coming house of commons that don't even care for their servants and treat them like TRASH--!"

"Chrysy!"

The ebony woman blinked at Luna's sudden shout, taking notice of how she had suddenly stood, and followed her gaze to her own hands. "OH! Oh, sorry, I just--!" She quickly extinguished the green flames from around her hands. "Yeah, that's... that's been happening since the whole, uh, thing. Kind of freaked me out the first time, I burned right through the dress I was wearing before I realized it was me..."

Luna took a breath and slowly sat down again. "...Don't. Ever. Scare me like that again."

For a moment, just the briefest of moments, Chrysalis had a look of genuine shock and appreciation on her face. And then, once again, the mask of a sly and conniving flirt smirked at her. "Awww, you still care about me? That's sweet, Lulu. You know I'd be willing to pick up where we left off--"

"Regarding your proposition," Luna interjected firmly, "I can see that you have clearly put quite a bit of thought into this. However, I cannot in good conscience agree to it without some time to review the concept in its entirety. Furthermore, I will have to insist you draft up a written proposition and put it through the proper channels--"

"But Lulu--"

"SO THAT," she continued firmly, "in the event of further dreamworld based businesses, there will be a legal precedent from which their operation can be extrapolated."

After a moment, Chrysalis nodded. "I can agree to that."

"Good. Now... I have a school to run. I would be quite happy if you left me to it."

The ebony woman opened her mouth... and shut it, standing up. She walked to the door.

And stopped.

"...Luna... Even if you don't approve of my lifestyle... even though my choices hurt you... you know that I still care about you, right?"

Luna sighed. "Just... there's too much going on for me to handle this on top of everything, Chrysy. I need space right now."

"...so the moonbutt," Chrysalis said contemplatively, "needs some space."

"Oh get the fuck out."

5068046
(Firstly, thank you. I had no idea how to manage changelings in this setting. Now, as for the matter of SCIENCE!)

Twilight blinked and looked up from her book. "Okay, that's weird."

"What is?" asked Sunset, sitting next to her under the same tree in the town park.

"It's this weird tugging sensation, like someone's pulling on my hair or something, except the pull's coming from a direction I can't place."

"Huh. Hang on." Sunset blurred, becoming a vague, roughly humanoid region of orange energy for a moment before resuming her usual shape. "Okay, bad news is that someone is trying to summon you. Good news, they didn't mean to, and they're not putting enough into it to actually make it work."

Twilight frowned at her. "I thought you were trying to tone down the whole 'omniscient observer' thing and stay on the level of us mere mortals."

Sunset smirked. "Look, Ditzy Doo was bad enough. I don't want you of all people falling out of the universe."

"Thanks," Twilight said with a little smile. She tilted her head. "Though I have to ask, how are people accidentally summoning me?"

"Well, one of them is the you of that world, which helps, and they're..." Sunset trailed off, looking away from Twilight.

"Yes?"

"They're, uh, chanting..." Sunset said the last word so softly, Twilight barely heard her say "science."

"Science?"

"Science."

"... Science."

Sunset grimaced. "We should probably stop. Summoning yourself rarely ends well."

"Two months," Sunset groused. "It's only been two months, and there's a zombie outbreak."

Twilight coughed. "I don't think it can be considered an 'outbreak.' Lab accident, maybe. And they're contained, and... well, it's lab rats, Sunset." She paused. "Unless some of them escaped--?"

"No, we're lucky the scientists were smart enough to lock the cages." She gestured at the online video of a partially dissected rat skittering around its enclosure. "I just... There isn't such a thing as zombie ponies in Equestria."

"Why not?"

Sunset opened her mouth... and paused. "...You know, I don't actually know. Hold on." She pulled out the magical world-connecting joruanl and quickly wrote something down in it. "Let's hope we get an answer soon though. Honestly. Zombies."

"Lab rats, Sunset."

"ZOMBIES!"

"...I think they're ghouls, technically." Twilight looked over her shoulder at the video of the rat trying to tug its own entrails free of the hamster wheel. "They still retain some some self-control."

"...what, there are classes of undead now?"

"Trust me, when your brother plays as many fantasy games as mine did growing up, you learn these things."

Weeks before Sunset would have a reason to research Oubliettes & Ogres sourcebooks, she got a phone call while at home. "Hey, AJ. What's up?"

"Ah don't wanna worry ya none, Sunset, but we may have a problem." Applejack tried to sound casual, but the underlying tension in her voice was clear.

Sunset got off her couch. "A magical one?" She grabbed her jacket off of the worn arm of the sofa.

"There any other kind these days?" Sunset could hear Applejack's smirk before the other girl got back to business. "See, jus' now, there was this big song an' dance number across the street. An' Ah mean an actual song an' dance number. Flips an' spins an' backup dancers, th' whole nine yards. Part o' me wanted t' join in."

The tension melted out of Sunset. She plopped back down. "Oh, is that all? Heartsongs are a well-documented aspect of harmony magic. You even participated in one a while back."

"Ah did?"

"Remember that flash mob thing you did in the school cafeteria to get everyone to support Princess Twilight? After..." Sunset sighed as her head dipped down. "After my smear video?"

"Yer a long way from that girl, Sunset." Applejack's tone turned thoughtful. "Still, never thought much about that. Shoot, how long've people been doin' that kinda thing?"

"I can't say for certain, but it's a perfectly natural part of magic as I understand it."

"Includin' songs about gettin' out mustard stains?"

Sunset blinked. "Huh?"

"Ah'm across th' street from a laundromat. This still normal?" Applejack's voice took on an uneasy edge. "If mah whole life's been an opera, Ah wanna know about it."

"Oh. I see. That is a bit much." After a little contemplation, Sunset said, "It's probably the world recalibrating itself as it adjusts to higher magic levels."

Applejack still sounded nervous. "We ain't singin' right now, are we?"

Sunset smiled. "No, Applejack, we're not singing. I'll try to tell you if we are."

"Alrighty then."

"We hypothesized as far as magic's concerned clothing is actually a part of the human body which is Pinkie-level bizarre but it explains so much like how Sunset and my counterpart came through the portal in normal human fashions and also you know how animals -"

"Twilight, dear, a little focus wouldn't go amiss." said Rarity, examining the tree, which gave off a gentle crackle of residual magic. A baffled but unworried rabbit glanced down from among the branches.

"Oh! Sorry I have a bit of a high at the moment from the magic surge because I overestimated the mana the spell would need for such a short duration and didn't control it well enough to adjust I'm used to having an external power source like my spectrometer actually have I shown you my spectrometer yet -"

"Twilight!" hissed Rarity. "This is turning into a disaster! We're already late for class, and if you don't figure out a counterspell in the next minute, someone will come out to investigate, and the entire school will know you TURNED FLUTTERSHY INTO A TREE!"

((I promise this entire thread is not just an excuse to share my miscellaneous EQG headcanons.))

5114782

"...Mana is a snackfood," Sunset said, confused.

"Wh...what?"

"Yeah. Snackfood." Seeing the baffled look on Twilight's face, she rolled her eyes. "We'd make, basically, granola bars, but the ingredients were high-thaum-concentration plants--"

"Thaum." Twilight leapt on the word. "Thaum, is that a measure of magical energy?"

"It's a quantitative measure of potential magical energy--wait, is that what you thought mana was?"

"Yes! I mean, all the video games use... mana bars..."

The two of them stared at each other.

"...crrrrrrrap." Sunset buried her head in her hands. "We're going to have to sort out basic terminology ASAP, aren't we?"

5121627 There is so much mileage in the humans having to suddenly invent terminology for an entirely new part of their lives. So much.

And I for one have high hopes for their naming conventions. After all, this is the species that named a fundamental particle the "quark" - which was literally a nonsense word that sounded appropriately sciencey.

By the way, "thaum" and "mana" are pretty much equally valid: they're both derived from words in an ancient language for miracle/spirituality, Terry Pratchett popularised the one, and Larry Niven the other. I chose mana because that's the word used in Magic: the Gathering and hence in some of FoME's other stories.

5121627 5122231
I have to admit, I'm split on this. On the one hand, Masterweaver's vignette is hilarious. On the other, mana may be a thing beyond snack food in this instance of Equestria. This is going to take some thought...

Also, are you guys okay with me reproducing these in a compilation?

5122231

I'm assuming Mana is based off the biblical Manna, which literally means "What is it" and refers to a miraculous food substance that fell from the sky while the isrealites were wandering the desert. Basically, it's a minor joke.

The real point is to point out how different fictional magic systems have conflicting terminology; a Harry Potter Witch and a D&D witch are both separate and distinct from, say, the Wicked Witch of the West, but they're all Witches---maybe. Sunset has only just realized she's got her work cut out for her in more ways than one.

5122292

Oh, I'm fine with it totally.

5122353
Mana in the supernatural sense actually comes from a Polynesian term for a supernatural quantification of social and cultural importance. Sort of. It's a very complicated concept and the foundation of a lot of Polynesian cultures, so it isn't easily summarized. The Wikipedia article I linked does a much better job of outlining the various meanings for the term. You do make a good point about the many speculated magical systems. It'll be fun to explore.

5122292

Also, are you guys okay with me reproducing these in a compilation?

Fine with me.

Celestia had seen a great deal while on the throne, but nothing quite like Twilight Sparkle’s human counterpart. Though they were in Princess Twilight’s castle, the girl retained her usual form, though Celestia understood that the ears and forehead crystal were recent additions. Celestia couldn’t help but compare the girl to a minotaur, though the proportions were as off as the feet. “I must confess,” said the princess, “I wasn’t expecting to meet you quite like this.”

“Nor was I,” said the human Twilight as she filled a silvery container with water. Wires connected it to a bizarre assembly of crystals and circuitry. Twilight fiddled with switches and dials as she continued. “On the one hand, well, I still have hands. On the other, I was looking forward to getting some experience as another species.” She faced Celestia, apparently satisfied with her gadgetry for now. “But that’s not why we’re here.”

Celestia nodded. “Indeed it is not. You and Princess Twilight have been very enthusiastic about trade between our two worlds, but I fear that both sides may receive innovations that they aren’t ready to use wisely. This is an exciting time, yes, but we must not let eagerness overtake prudence. Perhaps—” She was interrupted by a mechanical pop. “What was that?”

Twilight smiled and lifted the now steaming container from its base. “This, Princess Celestia, is an electric kettle.”

5122587

Two weeks later, both Twilights looked at the smoldering remains of Canterlot palace's west wing.

"...Okay, so I know about electrical fires."

"Mmmhmm."

"And I can accept that magic can amplify fire."

"Yep."

"And, yes, it kind of makes sense that one of the cooks could overclock an electric kettle."

"It does."

"...But an entire wing of a marble palace?! AN ENTIRE WING?!"

"You're looking at it."

"I just... How?! HOW?!" Twilight stretched her hands wide. "It should have been contained to the kitchens, at most!"

"It should have," Twilight agreed.

"And, horrific as it sounds, you should have less property damage and more injured ponies! Maybe even a few dead ones!"

"I'm glad nopony died," the alicorn said, a hint of reproach in her voice.

"Me too, don't get me wrong, it's just... HOW?! The kitchens are in the east wing for crying out loud!"

"As you can plainly see, a vibration in harmonic register has been generated over the pacific. If you live on the west coast, you should expect a minor increase in personal heartsongs over the next week; the register seems to be low-power enough that you don't have to worry about major numbers breaking out, but it might be best to wear thick shoes if you're especially susceptible to good cheer. And that's the weather; now to Aria for the news!"

"Thank you Sonata. The Wholesome has made a strike against the recently formed Crystal Champions, using never-before-seen mental spells to bring them in. While the ethicality of these spells is still debatable, most pegasus and earth aspected members of Centauros are celebrating in the streets. The dictator Tirek has not been seen all month, and analysts predict his eugenic policies will be overturned before the year is out. Good riddance. Meanwhile, Adagio has news over in the entertainment industry."

"Hmmph."

"...Which I'm sure she'll be quite willing to share, since it pays her flippin' bills."

"Fine! Some whackos calling themselves the Technowizards have developed a gaming console that incorporates magic! They're calling it the Lotus! And maybe it'll be cool and maybe it'll flop! Rave about it online or not, I DON'T REALLY CARE!"

"This has been Siren Spell Stories, your channel for worldwide magical news. Stay tuned for our next segment: beating some sense into our former leader."

"Oh you wanna go? You think you can take me? Well come on and AAAAAAAAAUGH!"

"Whoopsie! Did I hit the taze button again?"

"...screw you, Sonata...."

5122539 5122353
The anthology is now up. I tried to give the vignettes clever titles, but if you guys have better ideas for yours, feel free to tell me.

5147380 yaaaaaaaaasssss

I'm torn between "Yay, my writing's on the Internet and people are enjoying it!" and "oh god, I'm a pony fanfic writer now, what's gone wrong with my life". Thanks for everything FoME.

And I motion we rename the chapter "Yay" to "Mana Points".

5149949
Mwah ha ha. I have successfully enacted my villainous plan to more fully ensnare you in this website.
... We really need better "evil" emoticons.

Also, the snippet in question has been renamed.

Lunch at Canterlot High hadn’t changed much since magic first started leaking into the world. Though the school had been unified for months, the clique tables were slow to dissolve, held together by force of habit. Still, the cafeteria had a much lighter, livelier air than before the Fall Formal. The addition of novelties like winged students eating together near the ceiling, trays in their laps, only added to that.

However, some moods didn’t match the ambiance. Twilight Sparkle frowned, stabbed an innocent grape out of her fruit cup, and chewed it with extreme prejudice.

“Uh, Twilight? You okay?”

She took a deep breath and tried to smile as she turned to Sunset. “Fine. Why do you ask?” Twilight looked around. All her friends seemed uneasy, eyes wide and barely blinking. “What?” Her arm went down to impale more produce, but missed the mark by far more than she expected. She looked at it and blinked. “When did my fork turn into a Möbihoss strip?”

“See, that’s why I’m asking if you’re okay.” Sunset licked her fingertips and reached up to Twilight’s bun. After a brief hiss, she pulled back, shaking her now smoking fingers. “Hadn’t thought impassioned evocation was even possible in this world, but you were starting to smolder. What’s wrong?”

“It’s…” Twilight bit her lip. “This is going to sound crazy.”

Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all pointed at Pinkie Pie, who smiled and waved.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “It’s just… have you ever wanted the world to be quiet for a second so you can hear yourself think?” Most of the others nodded. Twilight smiled. “And sometimes you just feel surrounded by fools and children, and the constant coughing and sneezing and breathing and sounds of disgusting flesh surround you and…” She trailed off. Pretty much everyone was looking at her funny now.

“I was with you up until the breathing,” said Sunset.

Pinkie looked around the table. “Huh. I thought everyone felt like that sometimes.”

Applejack scooted away from her as best she could. “Uh, yeah. No.”

Sunset put a hand on Twilight’s shoulder and smiled. “We should probably check on that mental contamination hypothesis of yours.”

Twilight felt her cheeks burn as she nodded. “Sooner rather than later.”

(This one is more than a little autobiographical.)

"No."

"But--"

"No," Sunset repeated, frowning.

"But--It's a lightsaber!"

"Yes it is. Now think about that feeling you're having. Now realize that every little kid that has seen Star Wars will have that same feeling. Now think about how easy it was to make that thing when you realized you had magic."

"...Oh."

"Give," Sunset commanded, her hand outstretched.

Reluctantly, the five star general handed over the metal cylinder. "You... do realize that people are going to make this all the time, right?"

"Mmmmyep. I'll just make sure only my 'chosen paladins' can keep them." The girl lit the blade up, examining it. "Or something. I'm still kind of new to this whole 'god' thing."

5203196
"'Chosen paladins'? Really?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "What, will you take their lightsabers away if they stop being lawful good?"

Sunset glanced about the Canterlot High lab, unable to make eye contact with the other girl. "Well, what was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know." Twilight crossed her arms. "I'm not a god."

"I don't think of myself as a god, and I don't want to. But there's a time and a place for explaining what I've become. Convincing someone not to give lightsabers to one of the world's largest armed forces is neither."

Twilight sighed. "Sunset, from a cynical perspective, human history could be seen as an exercise in finding new and exciting ways to kill each other." Her expression softened as she put a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "You're going to run yourself ragged if you try to keep everyone on the planet from weaponizing magic."

Sunset kept looking away. "I... wasn't entirely joking about the religion."

Twilight took a step back, frowning. "Sunset..."

"Like it or not—and I don't—a few people already worship me. Heck, someone with a 3D printer has been making pendants of my cutie mark! I might as well try to use that for good."

After a bit of awkward silence, Twilight smiled. "Well, I can't do anything about your little cult, but I may have a better way for you to effect change."

"Hello. I'm Sunset Shimmer, and welcome to Magical Mayhem, where I explain safe, responsible magic use by showing you what can go wrong if you don't. For our first episode we have... Well, let's at least try to avoid the lawsuit and call it a "beam sword." Before we begin, remember, I am a trained professional and also immortal. Do not try this at home. That's the whole point of this series. Do share, like, and subscribe though!"

5204044

"...I cannot believe I'm doing this."

"Don't worry deary. If you're uncomfortable, you can just leave."

"Just leave--? HER? She's the reason we had to form this group in the first place!"

"The whole point of this group is to be comforting, understanding, and supportive. If she doesn't feel right being here--"

"No, it's fine, it's just... a little silly, you know? 'Gods anonymous.'"

"Deities, dear. It's less denominational. And not all of us are really gods."

"Right, right. Okay. Hello, I'm Sunset Shimmer, the personification of magic and... I have over three hundred thousand worshipers worldwide."

"Three hundred thousand? Quite the burden. I've got my hands full with the three thousand children I have and, somehow, more are trickling in every day."

"That might be because of the whole counterpart thing. The Chrysalis of the other world is the queen of a eusocial species with all that that implies."

"Ahem, well. It's good to know the Wholesome will be completing so many lives."

"So your slutty cult is getting more sluts. Whoop-de-doo."

"Actually, Ahuizotl, the Wholesome believes in sharing all weakness to fill together all strength. How many children are in your flock?"

"....five."

"What? Only five? I mean, I'm not from this world but I would have thought the catgirl transformation would be more popular."

"Well, there's the whole 'sacrifice a cat to get the transformation' deal, and the fact that I'm apparently not as much of a god since I need an amulet to use my power... and my professional rival. She slandered me all the time before this."

"Don't worry, dear, I'm sure you'll get more kittens as you establish your beliefs...."

"Look Discord I'm not against the idea that you want a holiday for all the other Discordians out in the world"
Said Sunset Shimmer, "The Wholsome will get one for themselves sooner true, but Kids Day isnt going to be all that diffrent really."

"All I'm saying is your going to have to wait a bit before I allow your magical version of that holiday out into the world so that things can settle down."

"How long?", asked Mr. Discord

"One decade....maybe?" Sunset replied.

"Sigh, fine then but that will be one epic April Fools day Sunset Shimmer mark my words."

"Oh and Pinke Pie has a request."

"Yes?"

"I couldnt understand most of it, but it sounded something like chocolate rain"

(Had this knocking around in my head. You can expand or polish it however you please)

(Heard the next day in Crystal Prep's hallways after the convergence and news of what she was going to do to Twilight Sparkles' transfer to Canterlot High courtesy of Mr. Discord)

You're a mean one, Ms. Cinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddley as a cactus
And as charming as an eel, Ms. Cinch
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel

You're a monster, Ms. Cinch
Your heart's an empty hole
You're brain is full of spiders
You got garlic in your soul, Ms. Cinch
I wouldn't touch you with a 39 and a half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Ms. Cinch
You have thermite in your smile.
You have an all inner sweetness of a sea sick cragodile, Ms. Cinch
Given the choice between you I chose the...sea sick cragodile

Needless to say Principal Cinch started to loath heart songs that day, and this one would haunt her for quite some time.

(Changed a few Lyrics, but I just couldn't help myself. The song just fit soo well. Dunno if its postable since its mostly the same lyrics as the original song, if you want to help me brainstorm more changes so that its more parody before its posted be my guest. Dunno if this does fall under the copyright laws)

5207221

"In entertainment news," Adagio reluctantly grumped, "various record labels have come under fire for repeated lawsuits against heartsong riffs. Disney has gone on record to state that any lawsuit filed in their name is to be immediately retracted, on the grounds that expecting artistic creativity from the majority of the populace while they are ensnared in harmony magic reveals a fundamental lack of understanding on how heartsongs work." She rubbed her forehead. "Meanwhile, dozens of musicians have received lawsuits for publishing heartsongs under their labels with unwitting people as participants in the performance... Shoo be glorfet do..."

"Yeah, this is going to get pretty ridiculous," Aria acknowledged.

"Glad this didn't happen back when we were the Dazzlings," Sonata quipped.

"...Are you good?"

"I... I'm better now," Sunset mumbled. "Thanks, Rarity, I--"

"Not a problem. I'll admit that you simply teleporting in was rather startling."

The other girl shivered.

"...do you want to talk about it?"

"...I..." Sunset finally broke off the hug, sitting on the edge of the dress-shop's showstage. "It's... okay, so... uh, you know I have... people who worship me, like a god, right?"

"Yes. Did you have a run-in with some zealots?"

"Not... exactly. See, magic is still rebalancing and, uh, accidental summonings..."

Rarity rose an eyebrow.

"They were married," Sunset explained. "And... really, really in love with each other."

"But what does that have to--oh. Oh my."

"There were ropes, and... and she was, bent like, and he, and... heat lamps... runes, I think a... plushie?"

"Ooooooh my."

"Three hours, they said."

"Oh." Rarity coughed. "Transporting into a complete stranger's room like that without any, uh, foreknowledge--"

"That's the worst part," Sunset whispered. "I knew one of them, they're a teacher at school..."

"I... think," Rarity managed, "that you just need to take a teensy little breath, figure out a way to lock down your summonings, and then have a small vacation. I'll cover for you in your classes. Does that sound alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's... yeah...." Sunset hugged herself. "They shouldn't do that with tomatoes....:"

Vinyl bobbed her head as she went down the stairs, the entry hall dim from the setting sun. As she reached for the front door, a harsh red light shone from behind her, and a monotone voice even more heavily modulated than her own spoke. "Unit dee jay pee zero en three. State destination."

Vinyl rolled her eyes as she turned around. "Wasn't funny the first time, Dad."

The hall lights went on with a clap, revealing a white-skinned man with close-cropped purple hair and a matching suit. Soundwave smiled as he extinguished the vivid glare from his head jewel. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't make terrible jokes?"

"The cool kind," Vinyl said, crossing her arms.

"I leave such matters to the professionals." Soundwave dipped his head at her.

Vinyl smirked. "You're damn right."

He scowled. "Language, young lady. And just where are you going?"

"Hangin' with my friends," Vinyl said with a shrug. "Got my phone, got my permit, got my sweet, sweet ride."

"Don't wear your sunglasses while driving, and be home by eleven."

Vinyl sputtered across three octaves before crying, "It's Friday night!"

Soundwave narrowed his eyes. "Be home by eleven or I send out the gnomes again."

She looked away, frowning. "Stuck in the cassette age."

"You wouldn't be here if it weren't for cassettes."

"I know, I know, most romantic mixtape ever." Vinyl sighed. "Fine. See you later, Dad."

"Have fun, sweetie."

"Wanna guess why Pony You doesn't wear glasses?"

"I'm blind as a bat without them, Rainbow. Assuming magical talking ponies don't have Daring Devil-based echolocation powers, she probably just wears contacts. Which probably aren't very comfortable if you have to put them in with hooves... I wonder how myopic pegasi manage."

"Nope, that's not it! I have here a text from Other Twilight herself saying she got hornbeam-eye surgery. And then two more asking what our word for hornbeam is."

"Fascinating. Well, mystery solved?"

"Wwwwwweeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll..." grinned Rainbow over the course of five seconds.

"I saw that face when Pinkie was plotting the rock candy prank. It looks scarier on you."

"Okay, hear me out. Unicorns shoot lasers out of their horns - which, by the way, is totally awesome. You're part unicorn. So, I - "

"Are you about to suggest I perform high-energy magical surgery on myself, somehow shooting a laser from my forehead to my eye without hitting anything in-between, to fix a small cosmetic problem?"

"Oh yeah, didn't think of that. You'd have to use a mirror. Unless you can make your lasers curve."

"Rainbow, it would literally be less dangerous to request help from Mr. Discord."

5220225

"...and that's when Rainbow changed tack, and, well, I did work with mister Discord a lot before I met you, and..."

Twilight sighed, awkwardly rubbing one of her four eyestalks.

Sunset facepalmed. "And that's why you have nine eyes now."

"I swear," Discord insisted, "I did not mean for this to happen."

5220322 Thinking of writing the interquel now. Human Discord seemed to be in fairly good command of his powers in Oversaturation proper, but at some point he's shifted from "dangerous because he's a villain who knows what he's doing" to "dangerous because he's a well-intentioned almighty idiot". And Sci-Twi knows this, and she's proven right, and yet she's still talked into Operation Twenty-Twenty. I'd love to see the scene where all that happens.

... am I overanalyzing the continuity flaws in something I wrote myself? Tell me this isn't how writing is supposed to work.

5220322
I am so tempted to write a disgustingly shippy resolution to this about how Sunset thinks Twilight is cuter with the glasses. So very tempted.

5224712
I think I get final say when it comes to the story's overall canonicity. Though this specific instance could easily be explained by Mr. Discord having a degree in physics, not biology. He has some familiarity with genetics, but it wasn't ever his area of expertise. Or he just exercises restraint in general but gets very enthusiastic when someone actually asks him to do something. Lots of possibilities there.

5220225

Why'd it take two messages to ask for the translation of 'hornbeam', instead of just one?

5224855

I would have just assumed that Discord got it wrong 'cause he planned, like in that Write-off bit of yours where planning is what leads Discord to fail.

Twilight Sparkle cackled, once more aloft on wings of stolen magic. Five of the Rainbooms lay prone at her feet, and the sixth gaped in horror before her.

"How could you do this?" Sunset cried.

Twilight smirked. "I'm just applying the lessons you taught me, Sunset." The smirk became a sneer as she spread her arms wide. "After all, I couldn't have done this without my friends!"

"You're just making the same mistakes as before!"

"Oh, I won't deny that I've made some mistakes, but not the ones you mean. My first mistake was ever relinquishing this power. My second..." Twilight trailed off as she drifted closer, her mad grin softening as she cradled Sunset's chin in her hand. "My second was not sharing it with you to begin with."

Sunset blinked and felt herself flush. "W-what?"

"You come from a world of magic. You know precisely what we can do with this much of it at our fingertips. And you've tasted real power twice now." Twilight stroked Sunset's hand with her own, leaving lines of angry, demonic red in her wake. "Surely you're eager for a third time." Twilight gazed into Sunset's eyes. There was madness there, yes, but passion as well.

Sunset swallowed against her dry mouth. "I... I..."

"Celestia's cake-fattened rump, will you two just kiss already!?"

Both girls turned to see another, pajama-clad Sunset, her arms crossed, her eyes half-lidded, her ears pointed, and her forehead decorated with some kind of gemstone. "Honestly, people in other universes are trying to sleep."

Sunset's jaw dropped. "I... whuh?"

The other Sunset rubbed her temples. She muttered, "I really need to get Luna up to speed on dreamscape management," before taking a deep breath. "Okay, let me just check something." She shut her eyes, and her hair started dancing in an unfelt breeze as golden light streamed out from her shoulders like a cape. Phantom arms faded into translucency around her as her head started looking in all angles at once, making Sunset's eyes water.

After a few moments, the light show ended and the other Sunset shook her head, nearly losing her balance. "Don't know how Ditzy deals with that stuff. Okay, so we're just at a sort of polycosmic perigee. No risk of collision, which is good. But seriously, could you dream louder?" Her gaze shifted to Twilight, then her eyebrows rose. "On the other hand, if this is your power-mad Twilight, I can see why you're dreaming of her. Mine just looked like an angry anime character in her pajamas."

Twilight took a step away from Sunset and shrunk into herself, even folding her wings around her like a cloak.

The other Sunset turned back to the local. "Seriously, talk to her when you wake up. I don't think either of you will regret it." She yawned. "Anyway, I've got to go back to whatever passes for sleep for me anymore. And seriously, have some faith in yourself. You're one of the good guys now."

Sunset nodded slowly. "Um... sure."

Her other self gave her thumbs up, then faded into invisibility.

Sunset turned back to Twilight. "So, uh, what now?"

"I don't know. Apparently, I'm made of your deep-seated issues."

"Kiss!"

"Kiss!"

"And Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are your id."

5231709 Twilight gets hyper when she's found something interesting to learn about.

5224855 Of course you get final say! I only meant that potential plot holes can serve as jumping-off points for new stories.

Sorry for the delay on getting this latest batch into the compilation. Meant to put in some last weekend, but I never got around to it. My bad.

"...Fluttershy?"

"Mmmmm. Yes Rarity?"

"I can... understand that you're comfortable using your magic. And that you have a love of nature. And... and I'm glad that you're getting more confident."

"You're uncomfortable."

"Well... yes. I mean, there were always plenty of... well, nature girl jokes behind your back--"

"Understandable. The need to categorize is almost as fundamental to humans as the need to explore."

"Fluttershy, you've been out here for three weeks, and now I find you half naked, half tree, and--and there are literal bird's nests in your hair! I really don't want to come across as condescending, and I guess I'm partially motivated by missing you, but--don't you think you're taking this druid thing a little too far?"

"...three weeks?"

"Yes. Three weeks."

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I thought, it was summer vacation, and... well, I guess I just..."

"...just tell me your brother knows where you are."

"He does."

"Alright. I... can't stop you, I guess, but if anything goes wrong let him know."

Wonder Comics Headquarters

“Okay people, time to deal with the elephant in the room. What do we do?”

“What do you mean, boss?”

“The world’s changed, and we have to change with it. But that change is going to be rougher for some heroes than others. The staples aren’t anything special anymore. Flying, strength, magic, we’ve got people in this very room who can match some of the characters. So, what do we do? For that matter, what do we do with the Cinematic Universe, especially the ones midway through shooting?”

“All of Applewood has to worry about that one, boss.”

“And so do we. It’s just like that one line in The Amazings. Everyone’s super these days, and that just made a whole bunch of characters a lot less so. Heck, the Y-Men books just lost their main conflict. Everyone’s a mutant these days.”

“We could explore that.”

“Well, it’ll buy enough time to figure out something else to do, as long as we don’t turn it into another Clone Saga. Still, that’s one problem down, a hundred to go. Settle in, gentlemen. We’re in for a long night.”

SC Comics Headquarters

“All in favor of Filli-Second running fast enough to reboot the universe again?”

“Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.”

“Fantastic. What’s for lunch?”

Shining Armor smirked. “Pretty sure that isn’t how it’s going to go, Dex.”

Poindexter scowled and adjusted his glasses. “Wait and see, Shining. You just wait and see."

(SC once stood for Sleuth Comics, of course.)

5255655

"In entertainment news--girls, do I really have to say this?" Adagio groaned.

Aria grinned. "Yep."

"This is stupid! This is stupider then the heartsong thing! This is literally the child of stupidity incarnate after it got knocked up by a drunken geek! Who is also stupid!"

"...Wait." Sonata tapped her chin. "Who in their right mind would incarnate stupidity? And what would it end up looking like anyway?"

Aria coughed into her sleeve.

"Huh? Oh right! Tangent. Entertainment news, Adagio."

"...in entertainment news," Adagio managed, "there have been a number of people arrested after they insisted they were... copyrighted... comic book characters. To be fair, they were arrested for vigilantism. The comic book industry is now... partnering with... this can't be right."

Aria tilted her head. "What?"

"...is now partnering with the police force to create a super hero training program."

There was dead silence for a moment.

"...I can not be the only person who thinks this is beyond stupid," Adagio said flatly.

"No," Aria managed, "I kind of find it stupid too."

Sonata twiddled her 'Marrina Was Innocent' button with a small blush. "Uh... it might not be all that stupid..."

"Really?"

Mr Discord steepled his fingers and smiled an all too friendly smile in Sunset's general direction. He turned his head to catch it a moment later and waggled his eyebrows. "Really."

"A supervillain school."

"Of course!" His smile broadened. "You did take great pains to lecture me about maintaining the balance of nature and magic in this world, my dear. There can be no light without darkness, no pleasure without pain."

"No up without down," Sunset supplied. She put her hands on her hips, but Discord only laughed at her interruption.

"No straightman without the clown," he continued, gesturing smoothly toward the motley assembly before them. "The moment these superheroes turned up it was inevitable that their mirror would appear too, yes? And frankly it seems unfair, nay unjust that they be allowed out into the world without a little guidance."

"Guidance. Discord..." Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "You're training them to be bad guys."

"I most certainly am not! And I resent the implication that you think I'm somehow 'bad' as well. Being bad means following the rules."

"You used to be a physicist."

"And you used to be a horse," Discord shot back. He paused as Sunset raised her hand, but then she lowered it and sighed again. "And so we reach an impasse. I'm not teaching them anything about how to commit crimes or whatever other schemes your worryingly expanded mind is coming up with. Is it boredom that makes you so paranoid? If I were in your position—"

"You aren't! I am! And I'm not paranoid!" Sunset rubbed her temples this time. It had little effect – the headache she was feeling was only as real as she wanted it to be, which raised all sorts of ontological questions – but it gave her something to do for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, Discord was edging back toward the group, though one eye remained firmly fixed on her.

It was in his ear.

"What," she said, very carefully, while ignoring the mischievous grin that was now flitting about her head, "are you teaching them?"

Discord pouted. "Why, how to laugh, of course! A villain is nothing without his laugh."

"Or hers," Pinkie Pie yelled from the back of the room.

Sunset could only put her head in her hands.

"Alright, mister Discord, who is it you want me to meet?"

"Don't get me wrong, Twilight, you've been an excellent student, but both you and I know we're moving into new stages in our life. So I decided to find a new assistant!"

"I... suppose that's fair. I'm a little hurt that I'm being replaced, but--"

"Ah-ah-ah. You're not being replaced. She is your replacement."

"...what's the difference?"

"The difference is that you're leaving by choice, not by force! And I couldn't be more proud of you if you became a chaotic spawn of nightmares."

"...you... do realize that I kind of--"

"No, that was an orderly spawn of nightmares. Completely different."

"Well.... I guess I appreciate the sentiment. So, who is it that you're replacing me with? An eager young teenager, or an older professor of exotic sciences?"

"Both! Twilight Sparkle, meet Sonata Dusk!"

"...."

"...."

"Didn't you try to kill me?"

"Oh, that was you? I'm sorry, I wasn't myself that day."

5247672

Fluttershy has a brother? ... Is that Angel?? No...?

5257244

So, was that cough a disguised "You."?

Sugarcoat sat on her bed and frowned at the pendant in her hand. Cinch didn’t like them, but that didn’t keep the shop classes from running them off of Crystal Prep’s 3D printers. It was pretty crude, a quick-and-dirty job that had a sort of pixelated look along the design’s curves. Still what she expected for a buck, though.

She took a deep breath, shut her eyes, bowed her head, and gripped the thing in her hands, enlarged fingernails clicking together in a way she still wasn’t wholly used to. “II don’t know if you want some nicer representation of your icon, or if I need to be sincere about this. But I don’t do reverence, and I don’t think you want any. Besides, if this doesn’t work, I’ll just talk to you in person. But we need to talk about Twilight.”

“I’m listening.”

Sugarcoat’s eyes snapped open. She managed to keep herself from flinching away from the other girl suddenly standing before her. The same couldn’t be said for her tongue. “You really need to work on your entrances.”

Sunset Shimmer smirked. “Don’t worry, I am.” She looked at Sugarcoat’s hands and the sun pendant within, her expression falling to a frown. “You were right, by the way. I’m not really comfortable with the whole ‘divinity’ thing.”

“Answering prayers doesn’t help.“

“I don’t plan on making a habit out of it.” Sunset’s smirk returned. ”Still, based on my experience, that’s making me stand out from most of this world’s gods.”

Sugarcoat nodded. “Valid point.”

“So, what’s this about Twilight?”

“I…” For the first time in her life, Sugarcoat couldn’t say what she felt. “Is she happy?”

Sunset stared at her for a moment, her expression unreadable. “She is. Would you like to see her sometime?”

“That wouldn’t be a good idea.” The words came flooding back before Sugarcoat realized. She certainly couldn’t stop them. “Crystal Prep is a toxic cesspool for her and anyone else who isn’t an a obsessive, hypercompetitive overachiever. I was the closest thing she had to a friend there, or maybe the furthest. At least most people just treated her like she wasn’t there out of jealous resentment. Lemon Zest even tried to be nice when she remembered there was a world outside of her headphones. But I just blasted Twilight with the same unvarnished truth I do everyone. I’d hoped it would make her grow a backbone, try to improve herself, but all it did was batter her further into her shell.” By the time the logorrhea tapered off, Sugarcoat had her head bowed and her arms wrapped around herself.

A hand on her shoulder made her look up into Sunset’s sympathetic smile. “Don’t you think you’re giving yourself too little credit?”

Sugarcoat shrugged off both the gesture and the supposition. “I don’t pull any more punches with myself than I do with anyone else. Besides, after hearing that, do you really think I’m being uncharitable? Imagine running into that wall of text every day for the past few years. And if Twilight’s happy now, that means she has new friends. Better friends. Actual friends.”

“You care about her happiness enough that you prayed to a god you don’t believe in. I’d say that’s a good sign.”

Sugarcoat scowled. “What happened to not being comfortable with divinity?”

Sunset shrugged. “I’m not, but that is what you did from your own perspective.”

After a moment, Sugarcoat gave a shallow nod. “Point made.”

“I do think it would be good for you to see Twilight again. Get some closure, if nothing else.”

“… I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask.” With that, Sunset vanished, leaving Sugarcoat alone with her thoughts, looking at the phone on her nightstand.