4689903
Hey!

I'm Bad Dragon.

My history:
When I got into this fandom in August 2013, I had ideas roaming in my mind. It was like my brain was infected with MLP. I couldn't go a day without seeing something pony related.

I found out, that putting down my ideas calmed my inner pony chaos and gave me a fix of daily MLP.
Posting my first story made me feel like I was a part of something greater. I wasn't just an observer; I was immersed.

One year later, things haven't subsided yet. I'm still drawn here. My ideas are still procreating in my mind.

I have a problem, though. I'm not the best writer out there. I make mistakes. Many mistakes of all types and I can't even see them. For some reason, I'm blind to them until they are shown to me.

Feedback helps me tremendously toward improving, but it is scarce. Getting more views also increases the feedback that I get. In a sense, I want to get famous in order to get more views, in order to get more feedback, in order to learn how to write properly, in order to be able to increase my quantity of writing by lowering the time invested in editing, in order to purge my infected brain.

There is another reason. One that I haven't noticed at the beginning. My writing acts as a mirror. I can see inside myself. I can see things that I never even imagined. I want to learn more about this subspace of mine, but it can only be observed in my writings. I need to write more, to understand myself more.

I've already ventured too far. I would, at this point, write even if nobody saw my stories. It’s like there is no escape from it. I don’t even want to escape it. I want to stay here. It’s so blissful here.

I'm afraid of missing out, that's why I try to stick my nose everywhere. I'm not sure if that's healthy, but then again, missing out feels terrible, so... yeah.

I was hooked on MLP completely off guard. I used to be a gamer and I watched lots of movies. The moment I got introduced to MLP my past life just stopped. I haven't seriously played any game for over a year and I haven't watched any movies since then.

I found out that I really enjoy writing. The story just flows through my keyboard when I sit down. The problem is, that everything I write is illegible as English isn't even my primary language. 95% of my writing process is editing and I don't enjoy that part of it as it lacks creativity.

I really hate making mistakes. Every time I publish a story, I'm sorry afterward as I learn that there was a glaring typo that I should have seen. I've reread all my stories 50 to 100 times and I still know that there are mistakes in them. I just need to find them...

Either way, all in all, writing is still very fun for me.

I used to write a bit when I was still in school (more than 15 years ago). I then sent my story to a more serious magazine and got back a review of my story. Looking at it now, it was a bad story, so obviously the review wasn't positive. I concluded that I suck at writing and I never wrote again until last year when I found MLP.
Saying that I was out of practice would be an understatement. Looking back at the story that I wrote 1 year ago, I would say that it sucked. I'm amazed that I didn't get loads of downvotes. I'm glad that I didn't, though. That was my only 'objective' measurement of my ability to write. It was the positive encouragement from the comments that made me stay. That and my rediscovered the love for writing.
I want to read as well, but I kind of made a pact with myself, that I will first write my ideas into stories and then dedicate my time to reading. The problem with that is, that more I write, more ideas I have to write about. Despite that, I managed to squeeze in the reading of the most talked about fanfictions on this site:
Fallout: Equestria
My Little Dashie
Past Sins
The End Of Ponies
120 Days of Blueblood
Rainbow Factory
Cupcakes
I know there are a lot of other good stories out there, but I just hate leaving my 45 chapters of my novel about Sweetie Belle lying about. There's so much stuff that I should do and want to do, but there just isn't much time with full-time job and other RL stuff.

By trying to leaving, a mark I don’t mean to become horse famous in the eyes of other people. I don’t care about that. What I like about my stories is the mark that I will be able to detect for the rest of my life. I would probably write even if nopony would read my stories (I wouldn't edit them so much, though.)

I always try to use logic. In fact, I 'cut out' my mental processes that I couldn't trace. My default reaction to everything is non-responsive. Only traceable mental streams in my mind may produce reactions. I believe that only through logic can one see the true being of the world.

How I view the world
Here's what works for me: I always try to do the right thing. Whenever a decision needs to be made, I make the correct one, regardless how I feel about it.
I imagine a perfect me, being in my shoes. What would the perfect me do? Would a perfect me be cutting himself? Of course not, he'd never do that, it wouldn't be the perfect thing to do. Would he go do something productive? Yeah, that's more in line with his character.
I then just imitate the perfect me and emotions don't even play a part in it. Not in decision making and not in execution. I just do the correct thing and ignore everything else.

Writing
The themes in my stories are mostly:
Control—shaken
Prospects—taken
Aspirations—broken.
Ability—lost
Potential—gone
Hope—annihilated

I use the natural reader a lot. When I read things, I read the whole sentences at once, missing the mistakes. I can mostly hear the mistakes, though. I also use this app:
http://www.fromtexttospeech.com/

I have a rule. If I can listen to my whole story without anything irking me, then I may start to consider publishing it. It would pain me to have 1000 people read my story, only to discover a mistake after they've already read it. By not reading my story one more time, I've multiplied the dreadness of that mistake by 1000 times. 1000 people got hurt by it, just because I didn't take 15 minutes more of my time.

The other thing is, no matter how I try, I still have many mistakes in my stories at the time of their publishing. My first comment on this site was:

spelling mistakes... a lot of them

I'm lacking in a lot of areas and I don't want to be lacking. Trying extra hard makes up for it a little and hopefully causes me to lack less in the long run.

The ratings on my stories do suggest, that my efforts aren't wasted. I do have many more stories to tell and I do plan to stay here for some time. Simply because I don't see myself doing anything else with my free time. Though, I feel that I have more renown than I deserve already, in time that may increase even more. Though, on the other hoof, there is a lot of competition. 100 stories are published each day and with my writing speed, I can be glad to publish one chapter or one shot per month.

The main reason why I'm here, I guess, is leaving a piece of me in the world. I wasn't doing that in all of my years of watching TV and playing video games. Looking back at it, it seems like a lost decade of my life. I don't have anything to show for it. It's as if I didn't exist.

Anyway, since I'm going to be here for a while, I'd rather have my presence be rooted to solid foundations of my stories that don't have glaring mistakes. I have a lot more motivation to re-read my stories before I publish them. I rarely re-read them after that. It would feel tragic to me to attempt to fix a story after I've already hurt hundreds of people with its mistakes.

My stories are, in a sense, a mirror of me. I'd rather keep them together on one account. If I would publish a story on a separate account, I couldn't publish it on my main account afterward.

My pet theory is, that I need so much time with my stories because I'm not good enough yet. Perhaps, in the future, I will know how to write and will be able to create stories with far fewer mistakes to begin with. Maybe.

I wouldn't put it so much as passion as addiction. But then again, those two things may be one and the same. I'm simply doing it because I don't see myself doing anything else.

I'm a one thing kind of person. That's part of the reason why I don't have any other hobbies. I want to 'complete' this Fimfiction thing and only then will I start thinking about my next step. If I do multiple things, it feels to me like I'm not doing anything at all, since the progress on each one of those things would be slow.

Getting myself to write is easy. I just have to forbid myself from doing anything else. I get bored, not doing anything, so I start doing the only thing that I’m allowed to do.

I set priorities for myself that I never break:
1. Check for new groups
2. Check for new responses to threads
3. Check for new messages
4. Get some food to avoid starvation
5. Get some sleep to avoid delusions that arise from sleep deprivation
6. Write stories

I feel stuck in this world, and writing feels liberating. It's like a doorway to new worlds for me to explore. It also acts as a mirror and a storage for my thoughts.

If in the world, covered with shit, you managed to clean up one stone, that stone would be beautiful and meaningful. That's how writing feels to me.

Everything I do in this life is prone to decay. But not writing. Writing stays. What I wrote years ago are still the same now. It feels like an anchor. Something that can stand up to the wildest storm. As everything fades, the meanings behind words will still shine.

I write because it's the only thing that feels meaningful.

My avatar and username:
I'm analytical and doubtful in nature. I want to know things. Not just how they appear on the surface, but the truth behind them. I recognized myself in that piercing look that Spike is giving. It was an obvious choice for the avatar.

As for the name, it was prompted by people dissin' on defenseless Bad Dragon ads. I couldn't just stand by, and watch all that blunt display of intolerance. I felt obligated to intervene, so I draw a target on myself, implying, "Stop picking on something that can't fight back. Come at me, bros!"

Before my current name, I was Dragor because Dragon was taken—dragons are cool.

My prospects:
I think I'm still a blank flank. I haven't found my spot under the sun yet. I'm not sure if I ever will. I've tried things, but always ended up trying to find a replacement. It's like I can't satisfy myself.

This aspect of me is getting worse with time. I'm now at the point where I can't even play video games or watch movies. It's like trying to read a book when waiting at the dentist. You can't enjoy it.

I feel like I'm missing something. I don't know what it is, but I know I won't find it if I dull my mind. I want to stay sharp. Be prepared.

It might be something inside me. That's part of the reason why I started writing. I was surprised when I read what I wrote. There seems to be some kind of darkness in me. Everything gets twisted and corrupted. There's a common theme to everything I write. It's like I'm incapable of writing anything else. It can all be summed up in 'death of all hope'.

I've tried love life. I used to have a theory that I could make any girl happy. Indeed, I found one. She was dreaming of marriage and kids. Those were her dreams, not my own. I had to put an end to it. There was no other way. I have a new theory now. I can't make any girl happy.

I will never be intimate with another person for the rest of my life. I know this. I'm okay with it. People get hurt around me. That hurts me in return. I have a solution. No people around me, no hurt. It's a foolproof plan, and I intend to stick to it.

I can see my future. I will die alone. The stories I'm writing. They're actually for me. I'll sit in the corner of my room. Reading them. They resonate with me. More than anything else. I also collect music that is thematically connected to my stories. That also speaks to me. In future, I will listen to my collection. Many times.

In short, I think I'm drifting off a little, and there's nothing anchoring me down. Interesting stories are bound to flourish from that kind of manure, I venture.

5747130 Hello there. Feel free to post and promote whatever you like here. :) And feel free to put all of your stories in the story folders. If you have any questions, let me know. :)

5747137
ok i have two questions.

1 - Do you like beef?

2 - How are you today?

5747132 Wow, that is quite the introduction. I enjoyed reading it.

There are a few things I can relate with in particular.

I used to think I would give up on the love or dating thing until I met my husband while attending university.

Never say never when it comes to romance. It hits you when you least expect it.

I suffer from depression, social anxiety, ptsd, agoraphobia, and some other emotional/ physical disorders so I often feel helpless or depressed, due to my conditions. But I always try to think of things I have to be grateful for every day. I make a list in my head and really practice feeling grateful for those things. Even if it is just having food. Because I'v gone without food a lot in my journey over these eight years. Which makes me very grateful for everything I get. I've gone without a lot of things which just makes me grateful for being alive to be honest. lol

Anyway, things might seem tough now. But you are a strong person and I am sure that you will get through it. I am always here if you want to talk about things. Feel free to send me a pm any time.

5747143 I like all meats although I prefer seafood. XD

And I am doing pretty good. How about you?

5747150
i am good, trying to write a political article about the curent floods in Argentina.

(argentines [or at least me] use the "how are you" not only as a way of asking for someone's well being but also as a greeting).

5747153 That sounds interesting. Are you going to post the article in your blog?

5747157
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/207724/the-insane-creators-guild/thread/299094/post-political-stuff-here

5747157
also i might add the fires.

5747167 Interesting. I will read it now. :)

5747171
you need to wait i need to traduce the news.

5747176 Oh okay. Then I will read it when you post it. :)

5747147 Oh, I've had my share of love. We lived together and she was dreaming of marriage and kids. It just wasn't the life I'd choose for myself and I never will.

But I am grateful for the things I have. I could do with a lot less and I still wouldn't break.

And the tougher the things get, the more you can appreciate the bits of good around you. I honestly don't know what I'd change in my life if I could. Everything is exactly as I wish it to be. There's nothing else I want.

Oh, and the offer goes both ways. I can't help you financially, but I can always talk to you if you need an ear to hear your troubles.

5747183
done!
Here.

5747239 There are plenty of girls out there who don't want kids. I, for example, both can't biologically have kids and don't want them. And there are a lot of young women like me. So I am sure one day you will find someone who shares the same thoughts about the subject that you have.

Thank you for offering to help me out as well. It is very much appreciated. :)

5747361 Cool! I will give it a read. :)

5747520
And any opinions?

5747564 I left a comment on the thread.

I doubt anyone will see this but why not. I'm Saberking2012(but you can call me Saber for short).

My history(on this site):

Well, I originally started back in 2014 but due to an accident, I was placed in the hospital for a good amount of time. Unfortunately, I let one of my old friends into my account and... well, let's just say he caused a number of problems. So, after all that, I had one of my older friends lock it out and for a time, I didn't come back onto the site. I only came back about a year later when one of my buddies convinced me to come back under a different aliases and so... here I am.

But barring all that, I was a brony back when season 3 was around and since then, I've been a fan of the show. As for now, I write from time to time, posting when I can. I've ahead a few rocky bumps here and there but hey, I'm still breathing, right?(ugh) In any case, my goal is to get features at least once and be a part of a good fandom. I hope to become friends with you all and become well known.

6799560 Hello there! Thank you for joining this group. Feel free to post and promote whatever you like here, as well as in my other groups. It is good to have you here. :)

4689903
hai! No name here!..... again. I think I joined all of these groups..... Heh. Anywhoo, this group ain't have a Facebook group! Aaah!

7305636 Welcome aboard. It is good to have you here as well. :3 Would you like to be an admin here too? Let me know.

7305637
sure! Heh. This group needs a Facebook group, don't ya think?

7305639 Well I do have Facebook pages associated with my art and music, if that counts. :3

This is my Facebook Art Page: https://www.facebook.com/emma.l.downs]https://www.facebook.com/emma.l.downs

This is my Facebook Music Page: https://www.facebook.com/EmmaLeeDownsMusic/]https://www.facebook.com/EmmaLeeDownsMusic

I will make you an admin here too. Keep on being cool.

7305666
goties! Stay cool as well! =D

7305667 Thank you. I'll do my best.