Everything Wrong
With
"Words From Our Hearts"
(by Eventide Indigo)

in only a few words.

Spoilers!!

(duh)

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When Trixie takes her own life, she sends her final letter to the closest thing she's ever had to a friend.

Her actions might not have been necessarily in that order. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 1

"When I die, nopony will say ‘it’s a shame’ or ‘I’ll miss her’. They’ll say ‘good riddance’ (...)

What really scares me is that when I die, nopony will remember me at all.

Well, they got to have some reason to think the 'good ridance' that you mentioned earlier. Which means they'll be remembering you in some way. Thus, you shouldn't be worried about that. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 2

Firstly, I’m sorry I sent this to you. You don’t owe me anything, and I know that. I owe you everything. I owe you for all the pain I caused and all the ponies I hurt. And I guess I owe you again, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay off this debt.

Why would you owe that to Twilight? If anything, that would be owed to the individual ponies that Trixie hurt in some way, and asking Twilight's forgiveness won't solve that. This would make sense if the ponies she claims to have hurt were only Twilight's Ponyville friends, but that's not clarified and the fic seems to imply something else. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 3

The thing is, I tell myself that I’m ‘great’ and ‘powerful’ to trick myself into believing it. All that boasting and showiness wasn’t intended to hurt anypony… just heal somepony. (...)

I realize now that I shouldn’t make everything about me.

You just explained that what you're doing is a facade, and why it is even kept in the first place. You don't follow it up with a "realization" that you shouldn't be doing that when it's implied that you knew that already, and the effort to keep said facade is conscious. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 4

If you’re reading this, that must mean you care.

Nah, I can think of a few different reasons why the most well-read mare in probably all of Equestria would keep reading even if she didn't care. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 5

I’m not sure how to thank you for that.

Well, earlier, you said:

And I guess I owe you again, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay off this debt.

... so it's safe to guess you wouldn't be planning to thank her anyway. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 6

I’m not accustomed to ponies liking me. Then again, it’s only wishful thinking to say that you like me.

It's not like there's no evidence towards that. Both times Twilight and Trixie parted ways, Twilight was never downright angry, or shunned Trixie verbally or physically. She seemed more worried about Trixie learning her lesson, and, after Magic Duel, she seemed pleased enough at the hints of redemption. So there. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 7

I’m just writing to stall time, really. I’m not sure I want to do this. I’ve got everything I need. All I need is a gun anyways.

... OK, that wasn't the weapon I was expecting. Not in this setting, anyway. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 8

I was never a brave pony, as you know.

Should Twilight know that, actually? Sure, Trixie didn't confront the Ursa Minor head-on, but if she did, that'd have been less bravery and more stupidity, really. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 9

Most ponies question what lies after death

They do? Could have fooled me. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 10

If there’s nothing after death… I’m alright with that. I’d rather be numb than feel what I feel. The only time I’ve ever been happy was when I was asleep anyways.

"Numb" is quite the weak word to describe the nothingness of feeling, but more importantly, that contradicts this:

If I go to heaven, I don’t deserve it. And the other way? At least I’ll be content knowing that I’m getting what I paid for.

One says they rather feel absolutely nothing than keep feeling what they are, but the other seems to be OK with feeling that so long as they're being tortured in the depths of the abyss, getting what they "deserved". ... The point is, Trixie has issues. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 11

I’ve made my decision.
I’m doing it. Please don’t try and save me.

You said before that this letter would reach Twilight when you were already gone, so saying this now is sort of useless. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 12

“I-I never know what to say to these things,” I finally began with a choked laugh, tears already welling in my eyes, “I felt the same way when I first recieved the letter, I tried writing a response to help me cope, even though I knew it would be a letter Trixie would never read… but I realize now that I don’t need a letter, I just need my words… words from my heart.“

TITLE DROP- Oh wait, it isn't exactly the title. Aw.

That was a forced insert of said almost-title, though. A letter still contain words, and being the literary mare she is, Twilight has no reason to dismiss such a writing just because she feels only words "from her heart" are necessary. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 13

“Those are the very best kind of words,” I sniffled, my voice faltering for a moment’s time, “I just wish that I had the words back then, back when Trixie was with us, because maybe… just maybe… I could’ve saved her. Maybe if I had smiled a little more and maybe if I had remembered to send her a card on her birthday…”

Ah, yes, the very best thing to do when someone dies and you can do nothing about it anymore is recount the many ways that such a thing could have been prevented but wasn't. Indeed, the best kind of words. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 14

“Maybe if I had taken the time to get to know Trixie a little better, maybe I could’ve called her a close friend… if there’s a heaven out there, all I know is that Trixie is there.

... Why? I mean, it makes sense that Twilight would think a little better of her than most, but she also knows how Trixie acts in general, and how this could inadvertedly cause backlash on one too many places. Why does she instantly assume she'll go to heaven, instead of just wishing so? *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 15

All I know is that the entire town gathered for the funeral of a mare who didn’t even know she had friends…

... And for that matter, who ARE all of these people? I guess the death of anyone is a somber occasion, but this is reffered to as a "sea of onlooking mourners". Hard to imagine such a big number of people just stumbling across the funeral when this is, in fact, the "ENTIRE TOWN", as Twilight put it. So, why are they there? *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 16

(...) and all I know is that sometimes there aren’t enough words to express how much we love somepony.

It'd make more sense to say "sometimes there aren't right words to express (...)". Because "enough" would imply that there are many words, and one would expect them to be constantly and frequently put forward towards the subject matter. Which, given the outcome of this whole fic, is obviously not the case. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 17

Also, Twilight says "All I know..." twice, for two different sentences. Clearly not only one of them is all she knows. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 18
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Fanfic Sin Tally: 18
Sentence: Twilight finding the best words for R.I.P. (in peperronis)

Well, at least this isn't that bad compared to the others here...