Everything Wrong With: I Should Have Never Bought That Pony - ReadingSins

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Sgt GobSmacker #1 · Aug 14th, 2014 · 7 · ·

Everything Wrong With...
I Should Have Never Bought That Pony: Chapter 1 By Final Draft
In 3000 words or less! Help me...

SPOILERS!
(duh!)

“I don’t want dollies! I want a pony!” Tiffany was screaming now, her face turning beet-red.

1: This kid has issues. *(ding!)* 1

“I WANT A PONY!”

2: I feel sorry for the poor guy who has to handle her. *(ding!)* 2
3: Also 10+ sins for screaming in an apartment block. *(ding!)* 12

The tenants of the neighboring apartment began banging on the paper-thin wall.

4: Paper thin? Might as well punch through it. *(ding!)* 13

Kristin looked to David, her eyes pleading for him to silence their daughter.

5: Clearly the mother has no say in this. *(ding!)* 14

She cried louder and the neighbors began shouting through the wall.

6: This girl definitely has issues. x2 *(ding!)* 28

Instantly, the girl’s fit was over, and she smiled up at her father. “Oh, thank you, Daddy!” she said, hugging his leg.

7: I got momentarily angry after reading this part. *(ding!)* 29

I love you sooo much, Daddy!”

8: I hate her already. *(ding!)* 30

She then ran off to her waiting collection of dolls to tell them all the good news about her pony.

9: This seven year old should get some friends. *(ding!)* 31

“What are we going to do?”

10: 'What are we going do?' cliche. *(ding!)* 32

“I’ll think of something…maybe there are some life-like robotic ones at the toy store.”

11: A life-like robotic one? What year is this? 2054? *(ding!)* 33

“Hey Mike, give me the regular,”

12: This Mike the bartender is not Mike the bartender from 'Only Fools and Horses'. *(ding!)* 34

He and the others turned to see a walking bundle of coats, hats, and scarves walk in. “Well, that answers my question,” Mike said with a laugh

13: Convenience. *(ding!)* 35

“Something tells me you don’t enjoy the chaos quite as much as I do,”

14: Obvious Discord in disguise is obvious. *(ding!)* 36

The man laughed a deep, hearty laugh

15: Discord is not Santa Claus in this scene. *(ding!)* 37

The man laughed and put his arm around David’s shoulder.

16: Discord is not Buzz Lightyear in this scene. *(ding!)* 38

With one tap of his cane, the garments came to life and wrapped themselves around him. Or at least that’s what David thought he saw.

17: How did no one else see that sh*t!? *(ding!)* 39

The room was lined with metal cages containing brightly colored miniature ponies. They all looked at him with big, sad eyes as he walked around.

18: Kidnapping. *(ding!)* x3 117

He put his hand into the cage of a small orange pony and tried to pet it. It scooted as far into the corner as it could go, closing its eyes in fear as his hand stroked its maroon mane.

19: Discord you dick. *(ding!)* x4 468

He stood up and the orange pony began (what sounded like) crying.

20: *sighs in sadness...* Why do you do this to Scootaloo?... *(ding!)* 469

Or are they futuristic spy robots from Japan?”

21: David is racist. *(ding!)* 470

Hell, he could probably convince the landlord it was a dog.

22: David is delusional if he thinks he can convince his landlord that his small, pink and purple pony is a dog. *(ding!)* 471

As sketchy as the whole situation was, Tiffany was getting her pony, and he would be the best father ever!

23: Nope. Other children call their dads the best father ever. I don't think I'll see them praising you. *(ding!)* 472

“So… does she have a name?”
Discord looked into the cage with a sly grin on his face. The pony got right up to his yellow eyes and glared at him as he said, “I’ve been calling this one Fluffy.”

24: I am now wondering if Fluffle Puff is in there. I'll give half a sin. *(ding!)* 4721/2