Supportive Commentary Club 78 members · 120 stories
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lunaisbestpony1
Group Admin

The results for the contest are in! Our judges have spent hours pouring over each and every one of your awesome stories! I will post the score cards and notes for each of the stories below along with the Final averaged out scores.

Thank you for your time and patience, whoever wins, you're all fantastic. Here we go.

lunaisbestpony1
Group Admin

A Great PinkieBurn Day
By: Darth RedBeard
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/191150/a-great-pinkieburn-day

A Great PinkieBurn Day:
Judged by: Lunaisbestpony1

Introduction: 9/10
Notes: Others may not like a ‘hello my name is’ intro, but what can I say, I’m a sucker for them.

Character Motivation: 10/10
Notes: Pinkie was spot on! Same with applejack. I quite liked it.

Story Structure: 7/10
Notes: The constant cliffhangers kind of made the flow of the story a bit staggered. But I can’t totally tank your score for that, as I understood why you did it.

Grammar and Punctuation: 7/10
Notes: There were some grammar mistakes here and there, but they weren’t distracting from the story.

Ending: 9/10

Total: 42/50
I wish there was a cuteness category so I could give you a billion points. I really thought this story was just fricken adorable. I liked it quite a bit. In fact, it was my personal favorite.


A Great PinkieBurn Day:
Judged by: Apple Jared

Introduction: 6/10

Character Motivation: 6/10

Story Structure: 5/10

Grammar and Punctuation: 5/10

Notes: I think it's obvious that your grammar is pretty bad (so is mine; I know that feel.) The problem is that the grammar accents everything else in the story. If you work on the grammar and maybe get an editor, I promise your stories will do much, MUCH better.

Ending: 6/10

Total: 28/50

A Great PinkieBurn Day
Judged by: The_Weatherbug

40/50-Introduction

40/50-Character motivation

20/50-Story Structure

20/50-Grammar and punctuation

30/50-Story Ending

150/250-Total
Simplified total- 30/50
Notes:
Okay, Redbeard is a very nice guy and I've reviewed a couple of his stories (including this one) and just as I told him in a private message, the story is really fast pace, there's next to no real backstory though I am glad he detailed the specifics regarding their possibilities of being related had been proven false... anywho, I enjoyed his story because it's cute. It's cute, Pinkie's written very well, though I think Braeburn was a bit mellower than he usually is - up until the ending of the story. I found the ending of the story very fun - very vague - but very fun. Outta left field and a shot in the dark at that, but it was a fun way to end a cute story lol. Now only if he could have added details and built onto what he has.. As well as find a good editor who can really help teach him something. (Someone that's not me of course.) He has potential

Total Score: 220/350
Final Grading score: 33/50

lunaisbestpony1
Group Admin

Making a switch
By: The_Weatherbug
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/192077/making-a-switch

Making a Switch:
Graded By: Lunaisbestpony

Introduction: 10/10
Notes: The introduction just worked really well to open the story with. Great job.

Character Motivation: 9/10
Notes: Great job with Pinkie, I always love seeing her well written. I also liked Celestia, lol, you wrote her epically.

Story Structure: 9/10
Notes: It was a little bit rushed in some places, but mostly it had great pacing.

Grammar and Punctuation: 7/10
Notes: Grammar was spotty, but not so bad that it was distracting. I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t looking for it. (And honestly, it’s better than mine)

Ending: 9/10

Notes: The ending took me by surprise a little, which is good. But I feel it was a wrapped up a bit too quickly.

Total: 44/50

Making a Switch:
Judged by: Apple Jared

Introduction: 8/10

Character Motivation: 8/10

Notes: Celestia was a bit too open with her thoughts and not contained enough for my taste. However, the idea of switching bodies sounds like something she would do. Pinkie was pretty spot on.

Story Structure: 8/10

Notes: This could have been even better with a bit more fleshing out to the story. Even 48 hours would be quite a bit more entertaining. I say that because this seemed a bit rushed as for as plot-points go. Everything else was fine.

Grammar and Punctuation: 7/10

Ending: 7/10

Notes: The ending wasn't as bad as it made me go "Wait... wut?". It had nothing to do with any of the plot points from the rest of the story, and what could have been really good plot twists (such as Rarity's reaction) were skimmed over.

Notes: Epilogues are only counted if over 999 words. Yours did not meet the minimum requirement to be counted, though I read it anyways.

Total: 38/50

Total grading score: 82/100
Final Grading score: 41/50

lunaisbestpony1
Group Admin

Telling Shy
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/198468/telling-shy
By: Vexy

Telling 'Shy:
Judged by: Lunaisbestpony1

Introduction: 9/10
There was a bit of confusion about who was who in the start of the story.

Character Motivation: 10/10

Notes: Your characterization was the best out of all the stories, I really liked it. Fluttershy was absoltly spot on.

Story Structure: 9/10
I had to take a point off for the ending.

Grammar and Punctuation: 10/10
Fantastic grammar, couldn’t find any mistakes.

Ending: 6/10

Notes: The one problem I have with the story is the ending. Fantastic build up, structure, and charters were pushed away to wrap everything up like nothing had happened. I normally wouldn’t give an ending like this such a low score, but the rest of the story was so great, and the ending kind of dragged the whole thing down.

Total: 44/50
Notes: Minus the ending, this was my favorite story on the list. I won’t lie, I really liked it.


Telling 'Shy:
Judged by: Apple Jared

Introduction: 8/10

Notes: For about 5 minutes into the read, I thought Dumbbell was Bulk Biceps (Snowflake) because there was no tag for him. It's a shame FiM doesn't have a tag for Dumbbell.

Character Motivation: 10/10

Notes: Excellent job on characterization. You make me want to read more of Dumbbell. The shipping is actually believable as well. The dialogue between Fluttershy and Rainbow is very well within character as well.

Story Structure: 9/10

Grammar and Punctuation: 10/10

Ending: 6/10

Notes: If there is one criticism I have for this entire story, it's that ending. After all of that great build-up and great characterization, everything got swept under the rug like nothing happened. I should mention that the ending was so bitter to me because the rest of the story was so comparatively sweet, if that makes any sense.

Total: 43/50


Telling 'Shy
Judged by: The_Weatherbug

40/50-Introduction

50/50-Character motivation

30/50-Story Structure

40/50-Grammar and punctuation

50/50-Story Ending

190/250-Total
Simplified total- 38/50

Notes:
I found this story quite lovely, though, the premise for it is kind of dry. I mean he makes up for it with how well he portrays the characters, and I don't think I've ever seen Fluttershy written so well! So that's a Plus+!
Other than that, I didn't spot too many Grammar/Punctuation issues, though I did see a few story structure issues, just flow and such nothing too noticeable so nothing to poke at or prod for. I liked the ending of the story!

Total Score: 277/350
Final Grading Score: 41/50

lunaisbestpony1
Group Admin

Every Day Is Beautiful
By: FamousLastWords
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/198417/every-day-is-beautiful

Every day is Beautiful:
Judged by: Lunaisbestpony1

Introduction: 8/10

Character Motivation: 10/10
Notes: Spike was awesome! You have a real talent for writing him.

Story Structure: 8/10
Notes: This was really super cute, but a bit lacking in conflict.

Grammar and Punctuation: 10/10
Notes: Beautiful grammar, couldn’t find a single mistake!

Ending: 10/10
Notes: Over all fantastic story, I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Total: 46/50

Every day is Beautiful:
Judged by: Apple Jared

Introduction: 7/10

Character Motivation: 8/10

Notes: Scoots was pretty well written, Spike was iffy to me. I can't put my finger on what was off but I feel like something was.

Story Structure: 8/10

Notes: The idea of the story is good, if not a little unoriginal, but it needed to be fleshed out a bit more in my opinion. It also lacked any major conflict which any gripping story needs, but it did provoke thought which is big up-votes in my book.

Grammar and Punctuation: 10/10

Ending: 8/10

Total: 42/50

Every Day is Beautiful
Judged by: The_Weatherbug

50/50-Introduction

50/50-Character motivation

40/50-Story Structure

40/50-Grammar and punctuation

50/50-Story Ending

230/250-Total
Simplified Total- 46/50

Notes: Anow, Famous is another friend of mine, of course, I had actually read this story beforehand and had reread it today. I really like this story and personally believe it's the only one capable of beating my story. Though its purpose is to be cute, insightful and short. It's to the point, gives enough backstory to make the scene viable, and represents its characters quite well. However. There are very few grammar mistakes, and such, but the story itself, really doesn't have any meat to it. No real conflict, it's just a conversation one afternoon that happens to go deep. But I gotta say, this ship actually works I mean both are quite mischievous and/or lazy.
Personally I suspect this one will win. Simply because it's short, sweet and to the point. It's cute, deep, and well, just works.

Total grading score: 318/350
Final Grading Score: 45/50

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