Its been much too long since i did anything, due to my marefriend breaking up with me. I lost all heart and even attempted suicide, but im back now, without any heart, plus my weapons are getting rusty.
So, Who has something for me?

4752479 Woah!... Shit so... That happened.

... Anyway I got like, 500,000 Bits on this one bounty on a Stallion by the name of 'Cork Screw'. He's raped like... *Counting in head* 5 Mares or more so if you want it's yours.

Damn, I did not now that bro. Sorry to hear your misfortunes. Hopefully your hear will give some sparks of life.

4752908
(Fuck i literally got hacked the night you sent that just now got pass the firewall the fucker put on all my websites im on sorry for the absence)
Shit... that's a lota cheddar... So where he at? Or is that a mystery to us.

4866260 He is Manehatten and he works at... Oh you gotta joking, he works at a maid cafe.

4867065
He what?

4868306 A maid cafe... You know a mare goes there for work, dresses like a maid and serve ponies cakes and tea and such. He's the bloody manager.

4868428
Funny story about that...

4868864 ... What do you mean?

4869486 oh... nothing. i just.. well, we all need a job right?

4872787 Yeah, like you do, now go blow the guys brains out or something.

4872867
Yes Sir!
*Heads off base*

*I walk into the cafe and take a seat. I order a coffee and a cornbread biscuit. When i finish my biscuit, i spill coffee on myself*
"Gah! Son of a (censored. there are children in the cafe.)"
*A maid comes over and asks if I'm OK. I respond by asking for the manager. I am asked to come into his office, and I comply. after giving my complaint, he simply gives me a bag o bits. I pull out my 32. cal. revolver and fire, hitting just a bit off center mass. A maid bursts in and I escape out the window.

I walk back in singing something in another language. I toss the bullet shell over to you and drink a bottle of cider.

4872906 Hm, I you know I almost forgot how efficient you were.

4874039
Efficient? I was still a little rusty. What was i thinking?! Using a 32. cal.? i should have used a 44.!

4874805 Well you can't have everything. Hell I want everybody who pisses me off dead but that ain't happening anytime soon.

4874813
Need help with that?

4874823 Nah I'm good

4874843
Anymore jobs that need taken care of?

4874859 Hmmm... Non at the moment I'm afraid. Why don't you inform me or anyone else if you want somepony dead at some time?

4874877
well... there is this one stallion. But I'm afraid hes not a criminal.

4874914 ... What do you know about him?

4874939
He lives out west. all i know that his online alias is "Constrictor32"

4874958 What did he do?

4875110
Hes the reason that... never mind. I just want him dead. You dont realize how much this means to me. I'll pay whatever you want. I just need it done.
*A single, small tear runs down my face.*
Kill the bastard, and bring me his head.

4875631 ... Fine I'll do it.

4876279
Thanks.

4876978 So where can I find him?

4876999
Start on the internet. Like I said, his alias is Constrictor 32.

4877095 Okay.

4877349
Thanks for doing this.

4878447 Anytime

4878666
*tosses a broad-bladed machete*
Use this.

4880345 Ahhh the Machete, classic. should I wear a hockey mask as well?

4880605
Go ahead. Make him suffer.

4880620 Eh okay.

4880719
*Begins to read novel*