3070480 So Moon Fang, a Dark Templar who probably got sick of all the boring paperwork, just quits and offered himself as Amaka's shadow? He could also be the one to teach Amaka's son the ability to deceive others, thought the bit about him learning void magic sounds a bit much.

Coalition? Which one?

Also, nice pun,g greatly ...at least I think it's one

3071568 I'm thinking that they hid Tom in one of the crumbled ruins of a building on the outskirts of the town.

3073612 Kinda like that. To him the DO is...too much work with not enough reward, that's why he left. By teach him some VM, I meant little things, like maybe blink. Nothing major, but that's optional, so we can go without it.

Thank you for noticing~ ^^

The coalition being - Amaka, mama's boy and MF.

3077742

I suppose Amaka's son could have some knowledge on void magic, but due to the social stigma surrounding the Dark Order, he might be apprehensive about using them?

Hmm, I wonder if Amaka merely treats her son like a pawn or not. He's your character so it's up to you on how you develop him but might I make a few suggestions?

Instead of him being completely on Amaka's side, we have him believing that his mother is right at first but starts feeling different when he starts working with Starsong, but Moon Fang, under Amaka's orders, manipulates him into believing otherwise, thus betraying Starsong.

And, should you insist on making Starsong's crew revolt against him. We could have Starsong brought to Zamara for judgement but Zamara has her own network of veteran Dark Templars that have reported to her of Moon Fang's misdeeds. Thus restoring Starsong his rank and ship.

Moon Fang, in an attempt to save his own hide, sells out Amaka, but her, being her sneaky self tries to feign ignorance. Here's where it could go two ways:

1. Erina steps forward and reveals everything she knows of Amaka's own illegal operation of selling Khalai tech to an unknown party (The Greater Good). Her words are backed up by evidence she had collected over the years, including info on Castanar Station, a prominent location for the Greater Good.

2. Amaka plays the role of the loyal matriarch and personally reveals the location of Castanar station, claiming that her ex-shadow was the one selling Khalai Tech on the black market and says that most of this tech was taken to Castanar, which she says is a den of criminals.

In the end, Starsong and KJ are dispatched with a battlegroup to retrieve or destroy the stolen tech at Castanar. They get caught up in a fight when the Diamond Dog garrison opens fire. This is when the CMC plus Sovi and Seeker escape the station's destruction, with Stedson possibly being forcefully brought along.

We could have Starsong capture Tom and brought back to Aiur to finally complete his mission, or not

3077936 Well yeah. He has scarce knowledge of the use of Void magic, and he uses it even rarely, on very special occasions.

I think I got it!

So, let's go back to the idea of both Amaka and Erina raising KJ by equal amounts of time. Amaka does show great motherly love to KJ, but in truth she sees him only as a pawn and a shield. From spending much time with him, and because the kid takes a lot after Karn, Erina gets quite attached to him.

So we get Starsong's crew to turn on him, then he is brought before Zamara and as you said her veteran DTs find out that MF is at work, and because he does love his mom, KJ says in her defense that MF manipulated him into sabotaging Starsong. When MF tries to sell out Amaka, Erina steps in saying she has proof of who is actually at fault for selling out their tech. A shocked look from Amaka, she immediately cuts off Erina confirming that the secretary does indeed have proof, because she personally told her to look into the matter. Along with that she shoots Erina a look, which she often gave her when she threatened to hurt KJ. That makes Erina present the evidence she has gathered, but put the whole blame on MF. Afterwards serious talk between Matriarch and secretary.

3078740 Now, to fill in the gaps in between with some details and dialogue.

While you iron out the details, I guess I'll work on the Cadia segment to fill in part of the second chapter. What do you think of the latest draft I posted for chapter 51? Did I miss anything obvious?

3078844 Nah, just read it. It's perfect~! Just can use a spell-check on word though, but as a whole it's awesome!

3078740
3077936
A few questions here if you dont mind just so I can stay on the same page as you guys.

First question, are they all going to go all the way back to there homeworld to see the matriarch or do they contact her from the spacestation via hologram? I whould suggest the later alternative just so we dont have a group of characters run half way across the sector and back.

Second question, when Amaka is found out about her deals with the greater good whould she really tell them about the real location of the base? Also even if she put the blame on someone else I could imagen that there whould be more eyes on her afterwards, and if she feelt that her safety was in jeperdy whould she flee to the GG`s headquarter to seek shelter?

Question three, when and if we make the attack on the greater good`s spacebase should we kill any of the characters? or are we saving them for later?

Forth question, with all this happening my guess is that Lyra and Moonraker (was that his name?) whould get away and deliver Seeker to Kourhal.

Final question, on an unrelated note what should we do with Stukov?

3080032
A1:The Khalai have warpgates, which is pretty much(as far as I know) instantaneous teleports, so they can be here and back within minutes if they so choose.

A2:I suppose most of the blame would be put on Moon Fang's shoulders since he's a Dark Templar, which the khalai don't trust very much. After all, who would they trust more, a Matriarch who has 'dutifully' served the Khala for years, or a Dark Templar who has been convicted of sabotage. Plus, most khalai believe only DTs have the capability to be traders....

Also, Sovereign, who was a Preserver at the time, was exiled when he successfully convicted himself for a number of crimes which were really coincidences and good intentions gone wrong. So in a way, the khalai are gullible if you choose your words right.

Though I suppose the veteran Dark Templars would be suspicious of Amaka's involvement in all this, but they had no proof and would probably be forced to let Amaka go back to her station until a proper investigation was carried out. It is possible that Amaka would flee to wherever the GG HQ is once she learns of the investigation(if there is one), leaving her son and Erina behind. Though she could also be dehorned and exiled before fleeing to the GG as well.

As for Amaka revealing the location of Castanar, we could say she's not a high ranking member, and thus not privy to what is the base is actually for, aside from it belonging to one of the higher ranked members, aka Pinkie. So, in a way, it could be considered sabotage on Amaka's part.

A3: Well, it's undecided when exactly the battle will place, but it will occur around the same time the CMC are on board Castanar station where Pinkie and Rain Sight are killed(along with thousands of Iron Feathers)

A4: They will get away from their khalai pursuers but Lyra and SkyFall are supposed to go to Castanar Station to investigate a lead under Admiral Hawken's orders but Moonraker himself will be there as well to pick up a recruit for the academy, namely Down Pour, Sovereign and Rain Sight's son.

Though whether he's caught in the station's destruction or not, it's still undecided since I don't know if there are any other plans for him.

A5:As for Stukov, he's scheduled to arrive in the Koprulu Sector in one year's time, so we can have him arrive at Castanar Station, which was supposed to be the agreed meeting location between him and the leaders of the Greater Good, in the aftermath of the battle.

He would probably later receive a transmission requesting him to meet the leaders at their HQ. We could have him being attacked by pirates on his way to HQ but their tech would pale in comparison to the beefed up Hyperion, leading to rumors of a powerful fleet moving across the sector.

3078967 Hmm, where's the misspelling? I couldn't find it. Can you specify where they are so I can correct them? Or if you like, you can edit them and add some changes yourself, I still got the master copy tucked away.

3080032 Yeah, warpgate tech pretty much renders travel between Khalai space irrelevant. NSNB answered things, there are a few bits I would like to alter, and I'll do so as I go.

So, I...envisioned so to say, what happens when they go to Zamara. So they put all the blame on MF, and because Erina gets the threat regarding Rylus(liked that name the most), she, Amaka and Rylus play the manipulated family gag. And since their are connect to the Khala, Zamara can feel the fear felt by the two mares(over it put images of MF threatening to off both of them unless they did as they were told, but in truth the fear each felt was: Amaka - fearing that Erina can call her out on everything; Erina - that Amaka will hurt Rylus, even if Erina calls her out on everything.) Noting here, Void magic affects the mind itself, so it can be used to create fake memories, which become more real the more you...(don't know how to properly express this)...believe in them, and when your life is on the line, they'd seem as real as fuck, that's why MF's pleas to have Zamara see through his mind are discarded by the veteran DTs that are holding him, because they know that thing about Void magic. Thus on account of all of his crimes, putting this "family" in such a situation, Zamara personally executes Moon Fang right there(fries his brain). She orders our three "dutiful" Khalai to swear in their loyalty to her that they will not speak of ANYTHING that happened in that room. Because with the general public's...tolerance of Dark Templar, if this were to leak out, Zamara could quite possibly have her people start a civil war.

No, not Amaka blabs out about Castanar Station. Before Zamara kills MF in a final attempt to save his hide he sells out Amaka, she of course plays to innocent bit, then Erina steps in saying she has proof of who is the actual seller of tech, but a quick unnoticed by the DTs and Zamara threat, regarding Rylus's safety she presents all of the data she(Erina) puts all the blame on MF, among the proof she had gathered is the location of Castanar Station.
Following up, when(no point in saying if) Twilies "recovers" so to say from the station's kaputing, she contacts Amaka, wanting an explaination, which of course is blaming Erina(which would actually be Amaka telling the truth for once! ). After that we can decide wether we will save her, or not.
If things get too hot for Amaka, she would first ask the GG to send someone over to aid her(privately), but if it's beyond that she will definitely head over to the GG's HQ.

In the attack Pinkie and Rain Sight die. Not sure about Moonraker though, he is a fairly useful tool, which I personally would preffer to have in the shed. (STAY OUT OF THERE! )

Yes, Lyra and SkyFall do get to Kourhal, to find that Twilight is moving in as the boss of DI. Under the orders of Admiral Hawkens they start invsestigating our beloved purple mare for something which can put her down. Their and Seeker's arrival on Castanar Station happens when the CMC are there, and when Starsong comes knocking.

I got no info on Stukov's arrival, so I will go with the info presented by NSNB.

3084432 There are a few, and I am not on the PC long enough to point them out. It's easy, download Microsoft Word 2007(unless you already have it), paste it there, go to the Review tab and click the Spelling & Grammer.

3080032
3087097 Okay guys, I asked Gapeagle if Unholy happened to have given him notes on the story and boy did he have some. Here they are:

He told me this:

You've been around a while, so I'll tell you what I have planed for a few of those ponies already.

There is a group called "the greater good" that Twilight is a part of. This group is actually composed of members from all the different factions. They are lead by one of Emperor Stone Hoofs potential successors, his youngest son. As mentioned in the lore, successors must earn prestige to be chosen as the new Emperor by the magistrates. He is working on a project that involves gathering the unique technology from all five factions. The cloning technology from the Dominion, certain zerg technology from the Confederacy, Phoenix forge technology from the Consortium (more on that later), the resurrection technology of the Vatican, and certain protoss technology from the Khalai.

You will probably see the Emperors young son in the next chapter. Shining Armor leads a group of marine special forces that serve as his honor guard, and he will enter the story probably the same chapter as the son. Shining Armor serves as his strong arm. Twilight serves as his cloak and dagger.

As for Rarity, she is still alive, and is very unstable state of depression. She can't get over the death of her parents and especially her little sisters death. She will convert to the Khalai in an attempt to start her life over again. That probably won't be for a while though.

Fluttershy is with the confederacy and will be very important character. She helps to keep the allegiance of a certain creature.

Pinkie Pie is still a forth wall breaker, but with a reason. She was offered up as a sacrifice at an alter called "the Eyes of Discord" by a group called "the Cult of Discord." But unlike previous sacrifices, the Eyes of Discord didn't accept her as a sacrifice, and instead empowered her. She became "The Prophet" and killed off most of the cult, then ran off to Kel-Morian space. Using her power, she single handedly killed off the leaders of three powerful PMCs taking control of their companies. She then reformed the PMCs a single entity, the Diamond Dogs, becoming one of the strongest corporations in Consortium space. You will be seeing more of the Diamond Dogs and the Prophet (Pinkie Pie).

Apple Jack is the only one I don't really have a plot for. As said in the post, I already had plans for most of the main six, I just didn't realize until I made that post that they were all completely evil.

And other small things like:

You said we should start our own universe. I agree with that. Perhaps you could do something for me?

As I'm writing chapter 23, I realize that almost two months time goes by where Sweetie Belle and Sovereign are doing nothing but just spending time together, staying in nice hotels rooms, eating at nice restaurants, with Sweetie Belle pretty much training Sovereign in how to properly behave in the Dominion.

During this time, she does show him how to be a gentleman, shows him how to not stick out so much. She also semi forces him to sit though lots of movies with her. He does not enjoy that at all, but just out of being polite, he watches them alongside Sweetie Belle. I can imagine he might have even invited her to a dance or two.

Point is, chapter 23 lightly touches on what Sweetie Belle and Sovereign have been doing these last two months, but I never really go into heavy detail on it. So if you are interested, would you like to write a short story about Sovereign and Sweetie Belles two months together on Korhal before they meet up with Fix It? KrissChu would be interested in it if I asked him too I'm sure, but you brought it up, so I'm asking you first. Basically a short story about how they slowly develop feelings for one another. Sovereign comes to realize he has feelings for her, while Sweetie Belle convinces herself she doesn't. That part happens on the bus scene. Just send a PM with a yes or no.

I was the main reason he started taking the story seriously. Though I did not mean to do that. I told him that the humor in the first 2-3 chapters did not seem right in the a Starcraft universe. He then asked me to proofread and do some odd favors (such as advertising) with his story. He has never said any direct notes. I gave him the idea of Lyra being a ghost and have discussed lore with him. He hinted to me and Kriss (I think) that he had plans with the Xel'Naga and Stukov. But you probably know that as well.

3302278 Interesting

3302278
3302359 Okay...wow...that's a lot.
Okay, -clears throat, trying to bundle up the feels from seeing Unholy'p words again- So, Rarity becomes a Convert. That solves 5/6 parts of our plot. I came up with two ways to introduce her into the story.

1: Before the end at Castanar, when the gang go to Dylar, more precisely - when Rain goes to see Moon Sight(Karn's sister/her aunt) and her family, Rarity is there too working as a maid for a lack of a better word. She recognises that that is Sweetie's sister when someone mentions her name.(of course that is very cliche and convinient, so...)
2: Keeping to her mastery at dress making, Rarity would still have important ponies as her clients(including the bitches >n>). Since the Castanar's fall arch will be the ending of the story, number two happens in the sequal. When the CMC return to Dylar to bring the bad news regarding Rain to her family they are intercepted by Amaka. While they tell her tn gtfo of their way, via warpgate Rarity arrives with several robes/dresses(that way we insert a segment from the actual show - aka - Rarity making her deliveries herself). She is facing back due to pulling the clothes, while appologising for the lateness of the delivery, then turns around and sees the group, one particular mare standing out(Sweetie). Said mare also surprisedly locks her gaze on Rarity for a couple of moments. Warm sister reunion moment. That's where my ideas end. (I know 2 does seem cliche and convinient, but it's much more believable that 1)

That leaves AJ as our Mane Six plot-hole.

Also, I've been thinking of expanding our Union from a Trio to a Quartet, letting in Gape to the group and giving him access to the shared account. Thoughts?

3302476 Well its said above that Rarity is in an unstable state of depression. So my idea is that when she sees Sweetie again she sort of goes into a mix of rage and sorrow as her wonds are reopend so to speak. She will then accuse Sweetie and her friends of mocking her with this (in her mind) fake. The reason why I suggest this senario is becaus Rarity thinks that her sister died down in that cave many months ago and at the same time both her parents where killed and Scootaloo was said to have done it. Later Apple bloom goes of world and is not really heard form again, that was along time ago now and all of a sudden her sister is standing infront of her as a trained killer with her friends. So I think that her mind cant really handle the situation and she kind of break down, even if they asure her that it really is Sweetie belle, Rarity is in denial and unsure how to act so she snaps. Later when she has had time to collect herself a bit she could be willing to listen to them and we could have the warm reunion for the sisters.

I dont really mind if Gape has access to this account so its up to him if he wants to have it.

3302476
3302595
As far as I can tell, the youngest prince character was merged with Shining Armor since I remembered Unholy stating that he didn't like using Ocs unless he had to, thus turning Shining into the Champion of Cadia and leading Emperor Candidate. Leaving the leadership of the Greater Good still open for interpretation.

I'm kind of curious on what the creature Fluttershy's keeping allegiance with, Zagara? Abathur? Or maybe it was cut out and merged with Fluttershy into Queen Bee.

I like the second idea better as well, and I can see her trying to give the khalai a new wardrobe while she's at it. She could have a shop on Dylar itself or some other khalai world since she can use the warp gates to go from world to world in an instant.

While Rame's suggestion of Rarity going into a breakdown sounds good, I think the connection to the khala would partially mitigate that since she's probably been a convert for a while now. Still, the shock of seeing her sister and her friends again would still stir up emotions.

And as for Gapeagle joining us, his skills would prove to be an asset to the group and it would do us good to have another voice of reason that has knowledge of Starcraft.

3302595 It's a good idea, but I must agree with Nony, the Khala's influence would not entirely diminish the shock, but would definitely...soften the blow so to say, preventing a mental breakdown.
3303428 So, the GG is still leaderless as in we don't know who's in charge of it.
Hmm, another candidate for the creature that Fluttershy is in allegiance with is Izsha. But honestly we should give it some pondering.
A random idea came to my mind -make AJ the supper-secret leader of the GG. Who would ever see that one coming? (And we are still keeping to the spirit of the Main Six being mainly bad guys. )

Okay, I'll send Gape a message and ask him if he wants to join.

3302595 3304382 Applejack, apple farmer by day, leader of a centuries old society seeking to save the sector by whatever means necessary... Would that make, Big Mac the leader of their military forces?

Anyways, back to the serious side of things. With the notes Unholy had given to Gapeagle, we know that the Greater Good comprises of members from every faction, each one holding a position of importance or power. This sheds a little more light on how the Greater Good operates.

As for their leadership, maybe having a council of leaders from the different faction would be better, after all, if a leader came from one faction, they'd make decisions that would favor the faction they came from. A council on the other hand would be fairer and more efficient...provided the leaders don't argue with each other often.

Hopefully, Gapeagle will accept and give us a new perspective on things.

3302595
3304389 Yeah, I'm for the council idea too. And I hope he accepts too.

3303428
3304382 Hmm, I didnt think of the khalai mind magic thing.... again . But I still think she whould be in denial and lash out on them a bit.
I dont know if you where serious or not with Aj as a leader for the GG, yes it whould be unexpected but it whould make no sence at all.

3304431 It will be a great hit for her, but thanks to the Khala it won't be AS bad as you first presented it.

Nah, we were just screwing around with that idea.

3304439 Also to be noted, in one of the earlyer chapters it is mentioned that Rarity was over protective of Sweetie belle.

3304439
3304442 Well, this version of Rarity isn't that different from the show, so I can definitely see her being her melodramatic self with the tears when she sees Sweetie Belle again, She'd probably try and convince her to join the Khalai with her so they could care for each other.

And speaking of reunions, should we do one for AB and Scoots? Granted, both are probably still considered outlaws so their families are under scrutiny by DI since I believe that even if Eye Glass sends in the evidence to convict Twilight, Hawkens would believe that he needs to bring the CMC since they were still involved with Twilight's schemes.

3304446 Well basicly all three of them are crimminals and it whould dangerous for both them and there family if they try to contact them and not being careful about doing so. But at some point later in the story maybe Apple bloom could send a letter or something from a random planet or spacestation back to there home world.

Now that I think about it... all of the cmc have blood on there hoofs one way or the other they are murderers

3304446
3304452 Hmm, not sure if contacting their families would be a good idea. On a side note, it still isn't known that AB is the hacker, so at least she is ATM in the clear...ironically to that she is the one that the Dominion wants to capture the most.

But all in all, even if Twilight is excluded all of the CMC are wanted criminals. Rogue ghost, double murderer and Ice House escapee and the mare who hacked the Dominion's battle net, which resulted two planetary scaled catastrophes.

3304452 Yep, Scoots killed Sweetie's parents. AB indirectly killed Scoot's dad by setting the Reaper's free, which would probably add to the death count, but Sweetie Belle has the highest kill count. So yes, they're all murderers.

3304439 Hmm, your idea of a letter gave me an idea. In the epilogue for the story, we can have AB and Sweetie send a message to their families to say they are ok but can't tell them where they are. Then cut to X amount of time later, Applejack and Big Mac receives the message and reads it. Then we can have AJ say, "It's a shame Rarity moved away before she got the letter."
Followed by Big Mac's "Eeyup."

Then cut back to the CMC helping out at Candy's farm, building a new life on Meinhoff for themselves. Which gets interrupted by the chaos caused by Amon's forces.

3304466 In that case when do they go to surrender Sovi 1.0's head to the Khalai and tell the khalai part of Rain's family about her? Though the idea is nice.

3304464
3304466 I dont think scootaloo needs to worry to much about the icehouse thing since all the records of her ever being there was destroyed right? but she still looks like the iron feathers so .

But about the letter, what Nony said was pretty much what I had in mind.

3304469 Seeker's the one that delivers the head to Zamara. Speaking of her, what should we do with her in the sequel?

The idea is kind of an epilogue for the first story, The CMC goes to Hoketa station to inform Rylus of Rain's fate in the sequel.

3304474 Well yeah, off it's in the sequal. The gang wapr-jumping away from Castanar. I meant do they send the letter before that moment, or after it.

3304485 Oh, I think after would be better after they made it back from Castanar.

3304493 But in that case they asend it right before they see Rarity? Wouldn't it be better if after Castanar they to Meinhof to give Rain a proper burial. That makes the CMC think of home and decide to send the letter. After that they go to Hoketa, where they meet Rarity?
3304471 Gape has been given the group name and the pass to the shared account. Give him a good warm welcome when he comes around.

3304887 Well, I believe that a few months or even a year or two would have passed between the end of the first story and the start of the second. When they buried Rain, Eye Glass and Rook could talk about how sad that the whole family is gone, this makes the CMC think about their families, so they write a letter and have it delivered by a merchant they meet aka Fixit.

How does that sound?

Also, Gape, if you're reading this: Welcome to the group! Glad to have ya aboard!

3305803 So pretty much you are saying that after they escape from Castanar they go to Meinhof to burry Rain and after some years time they go to Hoketa to tell Rylus that Rain is dead?
And even if we go with your idea it still suggests what I am inserting here. When EG and Rook say how sad it is that the whole family is gone, someone is bound to recall her rediscovered brother they quite certainly met when they first went to Hoketa.
Hmm, I think there is a way for us to work around that issue. When Rylus is mentioned we don't need everyone to go tell him about Rain. Maybe we can have Seeker tell him, after she returns Sovi 1.0's head to Zamara, while the rest of the crew goes to Meinhoff. In that case there might even be a big enough time window for him to come to the funeral. And we can end the story with the AJ and Big Mac bit you put out(wow, ending this story with an "Eyup" ), while leavhng the Rarity meeting for the sequal.

Thoughts(Gape you too~)?
3304471

3306557
3304471 Well, Seeker doesn't really know about Rylus being Rain's half brother so I don't think they'll be able to get him to the funeral, but if he did go to the funeral,it would remove the reason they're going to Hoketa station in the first place

Now that I think about it, I think it would be better if only one of the CMC accompany Rain to Hoketa station, namely Sweetie Belle. This way we can leave AB and Tinker to upgrade Tom while Rainbow can help Scootaloo finish her Reaper training, such as getting her to fly without using the jetpack when she's in her Reaper gear.

But due to the shock of finding Sovi 2.0, Sweetie Belle forgets about Rylus until they discover Karn/Rain's journal. Then, the whole gang can go since they never been there before and want to check it out.

Of course, the epilogue is still a long ways off, so changes can still be made anyways

p.s: Should I put Lyra's segment up right now or leave it until you're done with Rylus' intro?

3306634 No, my train of thought was that in the progress of the story they inform Seeker of Rylus. And won't it be kind of weird that the guy won't look for his recently discovered sister for years?
As for a reason for the gang to go to Hoketa in the sequal - hybrid attack, only khalai they know and have a connection with, HALP!!!

p.p.s. Why not put them together?

3306672 Oh, I get it now. I figured that he'd be too busy with his duties to go and search for his sister but your idea sounds better. Sovereign 2.0 would probably suggest contacting Seeker, but they probably have no idea on how to contact her or where she is, leaving Rylus at Hoketa station their only option. I dig it

p.s: Are you leaving Rylus' introduction to me? Or are ya saying just put up Lyra's segment up first?

3306711 No, I mean put both segments into one chapter if it doesn't get too big. First Lyra's bit, then the intro. On a side note I dig your idea of just Rain and Sweetie going to Hoketa in the first place.

3306754 Oh, I get now...though we already agreed to put those segments together in the first place Anyways, I'll put up Lyra's segment up first and let you add yours later when you're done spiffing it up

3304471 Oh, and by the way, I've been tweaking the Throne Room segment a bit while trying to add some lore and I'm wondering if it's alright. It's still a little rough since it's just a mishmash of ideas right now:

Inside the Imperial Palace on Korhal, Emperor Maximus Stonehoof sat upon his throne. The throne room was a grand chamber as banners bearing the Dominion insignia hung from its high ceilings, and rays of sunlight passing through the beautiful stained glass windows one the sides. Each window depicted the past emperors in their prime. However, the most prominent window was the one depicting Celestia raising the sun.

When the Emperor’s ancestor, Xander Stonehoof first became governor, he had commissioned the construction of a complete replica of the throne room from Canterlot back on Equestria, complete with a raised dais where the throne sat so that Celestia could hold an audience here should she ever visit the world. However, this never came to pass due to the Khalai Rebellion and Xander’s subsequent insurrection.

After he had declared himself the emperor, Xander took the throne room for his own use but left it mostly untouched out of vanity. As such, beautiful pieces of artwork created centuries ago still decorate the grand chamber, but the current emperor was too busy listening to his advisors bickering amongst themselves to admire them.

“We should focus our efforts to aiding the people of Cadia!” one advisor shouted.

“We’ve already sent the necessary aid the Cadians require. What we should do is to investigate how the plans for the Devastator Suit were leaked!” another advisor shouted as he held up photos of the Diamond Dogs using the suit in the attack.

“We can deal with those later. What concerns me more is how a bunch of mercenaries were able to disable Cadia’s Battlenet so easily. This is too similar to the incident on Torus to be a coincidence.” Another argued.

The emperor sighed softly to himself as he ran a hoof through his graying black mane before resting his head on his hoof. His olive green eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. When he heard of the attack on Cadia, he became worried about his daughter, but due to the chaos caused by the attack, any information about her had been scarce.

He turned his attention to Admiral Hawkens, the one who had brought to them the very information that his advisors were currently arguing about. The admiral could only stare at the advisors as they argued back and forth on which issue should take priority over the others, but it appeared that none of the advisors could agree on anything anytime soon, which agitated the emperor to no end as he nursed the throbbing ache in his head.

So what do you guys think?

3306761 "Nice, I like it." - Viking

3306761 Approved

3306761 3306856 Okay, Rylus's intro has been inserted into the chapter~

3307087 Okiedokie, then do I have permission to tweak it? Or should I leave it for you to do it yourself?

3308074 Oh I tweaked it. Any grammar, spelling and typos alike were exterminated. But if you wish to add or remove something do so and we'll discuss it.

3308493 Really? I checked it out and there were a few mistakes here and there. Mainly spellings.
But ok, I'll rework the trouble spots and will try to leave it as unchanged as possible before I PM you the reworked version.

3308555 There are? I could have sworn all of them had perished. Oh well, that's why we're a team, to help each other in such situations~

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All these notes

3308955 Oh hello there mr Gapeagle

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3308591 Confusing ain't it? We're kind of all over the place so you'll have to excuse the mess

Don't worry you'll get used to it, Rame certainly did, and he's the one keeping me and Kriss in check