Wow, ok so let me just start by saying what I see here, and put the description on.

So this story is based of of the Episode Bats, as a post situation at that too. Now Bats! was not at all my favorite episode for reasons like:

That is all I'll say to that because I am not here for the episode, I am here for the story. So Darmacolt, Bring it ON!

This story also looks like a one shot.

So now to my Commentary

“You can do this, Fluttershy; just tell them, and everything will be okay.”

When it came to Fluttershy’s reputation in Ponyville, she was almost never spoken of. While almost everypony in town knew that she existed as the Element of Kindness, and a very good friend to a Princess, she was almost a rare topic to bring up in a conversation that she was not present for.

:OK, so her thoughts are in quotation marks... ok, lets see how that goes.

:OK, so is Fluttershy going to show the whole town that she is a Vampire Bat Pony? What is going on? Its ok though because its just the first few paragraphs of the story.

:oh, ok she is just telling her friends that Twilight's spell did not work all the way.

: OK, OK ,OK OK....! Get on with it already!

Fluttershy closed her eyes, and once again began to shake in fear. Making herself accept this was like forcing herself to eat meat.

:

“Please don’t be real! Please don’t be real! Please don’t be real!” Applejack told herself over and over. Only she was to learn that this was far too real.

: I love this! I just love the way this puts the feel of the situation (Read to understand!)

:OK, so this letter was so intense,that I might as well put it here!

To my closest friends, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity,

I hope the bats at Sweet Apple Acres are doing well with their sanctuary. It’s been about a week since we had the fiasco with the spell and since we last wrote in the journal. However, I’m afraid that I have some news that I feel the need to share with you all.

I feel like I am in dire need for all the love and support you can offer; I have been hiding a secret about a most recent discovery that I’m having a hard time understanding. So, if you all feel okay with this, I would like all five of you to please meet me at my cottage this Friday at around seven o’clock. I need to tell you all what is going on and receive possible help.

Twilight, please come prepared to use your magic if things get too out of hoof. Applejack, I want you to bring the biggest apple you can find on your orchard and bring it here, too. I just hope I don’t frighten any of you or do something to make you all abandon me. But please understand that what I’m going through is NONE of your faults.

-With much love, Fluttershy.

End of Commentary

OK, so all in all... No I am going to digest this story!

I loved the concept of the story, I just found it ingenious. I know I thought of it when I first saw the episode, but reading this was like WOW! I Actually read it on Paper! So in the long run, it was very gripping to its point.

Through out the whole story, it kept to what friendship meant. I have to point that out because not very many Dark stories do this. I loved how Fluttershys mind was playing tug'a'war with her. At first I had a problem with it, but as I read my thoughts soon changed.

Then Fluttershy went all bat pony and started attacking Applejack. Like no joke, she started attacking her friend. Of course she was not in the right mind, but imagine the trauma the earth pony was going through. That is why I put down this quote

“Please don’t be real! Please don’t be real! Please don’t be real!” Applejack told herself over and over. Only she was to learn that this was far too real.

Simply because it expresses her friends fear simply and allows the reader to grip that its not only her well being she is worried for, but her friends as well.

Then, after all the hassle and things go down. It goes to Twilight's point of view, where she goes into her own little {Little?} break down. Soon one of her friends comes out to comfort her, and then gave her the letter above to help Twilight realize that its not her fault. The rest I'll let you read.

So when it got to the end, the only thing I wished for was and ending like this.
A letter that goes a little like this, and its from Celestia

The one problem is, I am not sure if there is a cure.......

And let it end there, it would bring so much more thought. However that was not the point of the story.

There were few grammatical errors that I could find. I did find a couple, but I lost them. So Dramacolt, I'll go through it again to find them for you some time.

I also enjoyed how you used a third person style that lead us to know what they were thinking. I can't remember what that was called, so maybe somepony can help me there.

So I give this a you must read rating.

I simply loved reading this, and has earned a favorite from me. Well done Dramacolt Well done!

2613602 Excellently done. I like how you do this.

2613620
Thanks

2613602

Thank you very much for reviewing my story. I'm very gad that I was able to entertain and have you walk away with a little something more. Oh, and thank you, also, for the favourite and like; I appreciate it.

2613721
I just hope you story gets more views, I really enjoyed this one.

2613602 There's not enough room in my Favorites list and follow list for this

Actually, fuck it, there's always room

I give this 3/3

Now, off to take three midterms. Woo-hoo.