http://www.fimfiction.net/story/142561/twilight-and-trixie-go-to-a-metal-show

Maybe I'm just partial to the genre of music, but that's why this is my first review for Slice Of Life
Let me be clear in my reviews firstly. I don't nitpick grammar... unless it's god awful. Otherwise I am looking strictly for story content and cohesiveness. Capiche?

This is how you review something. Watch and learn.

So at the end the author clearly states this is their first time writing a one-shot. With that being said I'll be pretty lenient. The story's broken into two halves, the getting ready scene and then the concert scene. In a quick run down of events.
1. Trixie begs Twilight to go.
2. They have a little argument.
3. Trixie convinces her of the positives of metal
4. They go to the concert, yadda yadda

With the first scene, I can appreciate the tenderness between the two as they have obviously been in a relationship for a decent amount of time. This idea is presented fairly clearly early on.

The pacing does not feel rushed to me anyways, considering it's only a little over 3,000 words. I enjoy the fact that Trixie actually has some good honest reason to take Twilight, although there is the occasional guilt trip.

This sentence right here...
"Realization hit her like one of Rainbow Dash's crash landings."
I know I said I wouldn't gripe but it read kinda weird for me.

With that being said, there's nothing really else I can pick on as far as coherency. It's pretty well thought-out, especially the band scene. I really like the idea of a metal band called "Celestia Shall Burn" although I know it's kinda ripped from another band.

I've actually tried to write a story similar to this style, and from my experience trying to get the reader to imagine music is EXTREMELY difficult. So to the author I say "Good On You!!"

The ending is somehwhat expected, but still kinda funny as well, hinting at something cloppy later on.

To end this review with a few things:
1. Short, sweet, gets a point across.
2. Cute moments
3. Funny moments
4. Definitely worth a minute of your time.

2602730
Hey! I know how to do my reviews now! Thanks!
Nice review by the way.

2602753 Oh you do them just fine I was simply showing my way

2602758
Oh I will do my way still, just have much more improved

Also remember to link the story and author to the review. Helps me at keeping track.

I did see that you put this as a comment to the story though.... Good an you!

2602776 Yes Overlord. Thy bidding will be done...

2602787 it took me forever to write the concert part, because music is hard to write by itself, especially since it was fromTwilights perspective, and she didn't exactly like that style to begin with.

Thanks for the review!

2602959 Quite Welcome lad!!